Chapter 3: Lillian

"Where are you going all dressed up?  You never dress up like that for me?"  George eyes me up and down suspiciously.  

"I am going out with Connie, she is taking me to that new restaurant down on 5th.  She said it's a treat for being the world's greatest mom."  Satisfied that he believes me, I turn to leave.  

He grabs my elbow and swings me around, hurting me.  "If I find out that you aren't telling the truth, you will pay."

"Stop, you are hurting me.  If you ever do this again, I will have you thrown in jail."  Walking out the door, I hear him swearing behind me.  

Slumping down in the driver's seat, I put the key in the ignition and sigh when I pull out of the driveway.  "What an ass."

Calling Connie, I let her know what I am doing and fill her in mostly.  She gets excited and practically screams over the phone.

"Girl.  You are finally doing it and with Jordan Hill of all people.  He is such a bad boy!  Correction, man.  I remember him from high school and drooled all over that hunk of man.  Those muscles and that butt, oh.  You are so lucky.  So where is he taking you?"

"I don't have a clue, but if George finds out, you might have to call the cops when I end up missing.  He already threatened me.  He suspects something, but I hope I lied good enough that he won't go looking for me.  You know, I don't get it.  He cheats on me all the time, but I'm the one he suspects of always cheating."

"Well, I hope he takes you somewhere romantic and then rocks your world all night long."  Practically screaming on the phone, I can tell that she wishes it were her.

"No one is going to be rocking my world.  Remember, I am married with children?  Also I don't believe in divorce or I would have by now."

"Lillian, then the only way you will ever escape that nightmare is to make sweet love with Jordan.  Get your freak on girl.  At least if you aren't willing to leave creapo, you can have a slice of heaven."

"Connie, connie.  This is me, Lillian.  The woman who has only been with one man, like 4 times my entire life.  I don't get my freak on with anyone and who knows, maybe the reason why George has cheated all these years and won't touch me, is I suck in bed."

"Girl, I seriously doubt that.  I have seen you lick an ice cream cone and if you pay that much attention to a man's tool, he will worship you.  Trust me."

Giggling, I can't help but imagine doing just that to Jordan.  Arriving at Connie's, I hang up and walk up to her door.  When she answers, her eyes widen just looking at me.  

"Oh, my gosh.  You are so beautiful.  I had forgotten that there is a woman under all that." 

Usually, I wear jeans and sweaters all year, so no one ever sees my body and makes George jealous.  However, tonight is a special occasion.  I finally get to go on a date with Jordan Hill after 20 years.  It's just a shame that I am married and can't do anything about it.

The promise of a new life is enticing, but I could never leave my old life and my kids behind.  I know that if I divorced George, he would find a way to keep the kids and I would never see them again.  To me love is not worth it, only my children.

Perhaps, someday when the kids are grown up I will move on, but not till they have gone on their own away from George. Looking at my watch, I see that it's 2 minutes to 6. I guess he believes in getting here at the last minute. Oh well.

Going inside to wait, Connie grabs me a cup of coffee and we talk about the kids and the neighborhood.  Looking at my watch again, it's 6:30.  I pull out my phone and realize that Jordan tried to call me.  Why didn't I hear the phone ring?

I check and he didn't leave a message, so I call him back.  No answer, but right afterwards I hear a knock at the door.  Connie rushes to it and gives me a thumbs up when she looks out.  I walk over and stand by the door, only opening it when Connie runs in the other room.

Smiling, he looks me up and down, eventually staring into my eyes.  His brown eyes are the color of chocolates and I start to sink into them until he starts talking.  Forcing me to come back to reality, I pay attention.

"You look stunningly beautiful Lillian.  Your pictures don't do you justice one bit."  Standing still, I don't know what to say.  I feel a strange chemistry between us the minute I set eyes on him.  Something tells me that if I am alone with him for too long, I will end up with my clothes off.

"Are you ready to go?"  He stares at my mouth and almost looks like he wants to kiss me.

I'm sure he feels the same way, because he is staring at me like a hungry wolf to his dinner.  He licks his lips and puts his hands in his pockets, waiting for me.

"Yes, I was just chatting with Connie.  Letting her know what to tell George if he shows up and I'm not here."

"Oh."  He scratches his chin where stubble is showing.

"Well, I guess we had better get going then, so he doesn't see us together."  He reaches down and grabs my hand.  Leading me to his car.  I look behind me and watch Connie walk to the door and give me a thumbs up, before shutting it.

Once in the car, he turns on the radio and off we go.  Before we get to the restaurant he tells me why he was late and tried to call.  His mom had come back up drunk and he had to make sure that she was O.k. first.  Once she fell asleep on his bed, he left.

The whole time we were driving it felt so natural, the two of us being together.  When we got to the restaurant, he held my door for me and took my hand.  Strangely, I am not nervous at all.  I'm the exact opposite actually and it feels like we have done this all before.  

Sitting down at a table, his leg touches mine and I feel a strange warmth between my legs spread over my whole body.  I smile and let him order for us.  

"I hope you like what I ordered for you.  Since we don't know each other well it was kind of hard to decide, but I figured that everyone likes chicken."

Laughing, we both sit quietly for a minute and then he asks, "Do you think the two of us would have been together if I would have asked you out in high school?"

Thinking about that exact same thing, I sit stunned.  He waits patiently for me to speak, but right now I'm questioning my own sense of duty to my husband.  When I do, I answer quietly.  

"Jordan, right now I would like nothing better than the two of us to have done that very thing, because there is no doubt in my mind that we would have been together."

His face turns completely serious when he says, "Lillian, your husband doesn't deserve you and you have no idea how much I want you right now.  Just knowing that he hasn't touched you all these years and went after skanks instead, makes me want to beat the shit out of him.  If you were mine, there isn't anything in this world that would keep me from making love to you every chance I get."

Blinking widely, I sit still quietly wondering what to do next.  This man in front of me is so passionate and everything I have ever wanted in a man and he is mine for the taking if I want him.  All I have to do is do it.  The problem, is that I am married with two children who I love more than anything in this world.  So the question is, am I willing to lose it all for him?

Realizing the answer I almost cry, but instead fight back the tears.  I can enjoy this night and maybe a kiss, but anything more than that, I can never have.  My children's welfare is far more imortant than my own.  

Playing it cool, I say, "When you have children, you don't always get what you want in this world.  You have to put them first, always."

We sit in relative quiet till the food comes.  Passing heated looks to each other, I feel his leg rub mine and I start to ache for more.  Taking my hand, he stands up and leads me out the kitchen door.  

Walking out the emergency exit and standing in the alley, he leans me up against the wall and kisses me.  When our lips touch, it's like fireworks and an earthquake going off all at once.  My insides feel like they are about to burst when he lifts me up by my butt and I instinctively wrap my legs around his waist.  

I hear a noise from somewhere behind me and when I turn around I see George standing there, screaming.  Jordan puts me down quickly and makes sure I am safe, before beating the crap out of George.  Scared, I run back in the restaurant and call Connie.  She picks me up and drives me home.

The next thing I know, the cops are knocking on my door and telling me that George has been in a fight and won't be home till the morning.  Going to bed scared, I lay there fearing what is going to happen when he gets out and comes home.  Eventually falling asleep, I remember dreaming about that magical unreal kiss and the way it made me feel alive for the first time in my life.