I SAT in the kitchen, my left hand twirling the half empty beer can beside me, while the other swiped up, checking through the comments on my latest I*******m post.
Something I shouldn't be doing considering the trolls, but who gives a fuck? My life was already one huge mess.
Nothing a middle aged, overweight introvert a thousand miles away could tell me that would make me break.
There was nothing left to break.
I gritted my teeth at that thought, swearing underneath my breath as I read another comment,
"Justin Stars a fuck up, he always has been. His voice stopped being good year's ago, his music is trash." Brantwoods321 commented.
I scoffed at the comment with a slight eye roll, I could be a better troll than he was.
He seriously thought those weak words would get to me? Tell that to the three thousand replies he got, 99 percent trolling him for that comment.
How did he expect to get away with it? I had over a hundred million followers, wether or not my music was good anymore, it still sold, arenas were sold out, streets still clustered wherever I was performing.
He didn't even deserve a reply. I took another sip of my beer, swiping up for the next comment. Would you look at that, another troll.
What did I expect?
My latest single off my upcoming Album, 'Heart Gone,' was still number one on the charts after eleven weeks, and my album was scheduled to drop pretty soon, so of course the number of trolls had increased.
"You people still listen to this guy? His music should be cancelled. Voice of an angel my foot. All he got going for him is his looks, that's it." Officialgreyheart commented.
"I stopped listening to this guy 3 years ago after he walked off the stage at a concert and told all his fans to shut up. He shows no respect for his fans, so why should we? #canceljustinstar" DiegoHerada replied.
I felt my breath hitch at the second comment, staring at those ugly words again.
The concert from three years ago flashed in my mind, causing me to take a shaky breath out, glancing down at my fingers that had began to slowly tremble at the reminder of the incident.
Running my hands through my dark locks, I tried to steady them, only to be suddenly pushed forward, a large hand settling on my shoulder, causing me to spill a little of my beer,
"Hey bro!"
I closed my eyes, clenching my jaw as I turned my seat to face my brother, who was taking the bowl of cake that was before me, sliding it over to him, pulling the seat beside me, flashing me his million dollar smile, "how are you doing?" he smirked, knowing he had disturbed me.
He glanced over my phone screen for a moment, before stealing away my fork, " I told you to stop checking your comments, " he added, digging into the cake.
"Like always, " I began pulling my beer closer to me as I leaned back, "I have to remind you to CALL before comming over, " I hissed, putting my phone in my pocket.
There was a reason I moved away from him and Dad as soon as I hit eighteen three years ago. I wanted space. Damn it, I demanded it.
Chris looked at me, unaffected by my tone, "What? I'm not allowed to see my brother unless I call him?" He asked, taking a bite into my cake, his stupid smirk still plastered over his face.
He leaned back in his chair as he chewed, his blue eyes still glued on me, running his other hand through his blond hair that almost looked a soft silver.
He had gotten that done on his latest blockbuster movie, that came out a week ago and was now breaking the box office, Silver Sworn.
He was away for 5 months shooting the movie in England, that's why he came back with a bit of an accent. That's right, 5 months, and an accent, can you believe this guy?
Letting out a deep breath, I shook my head, knowing arguing with Chris was fruitless.
Even though he was older than me by a few hours, he made it a point to be around whenever he could after the incident, "Never mind," I replied, watching him focus on the piece of cake, "How's Dad?"
He hummed nodding his head, but I didn't know if it was because of the question or how good the cake was, " he's great, but he asked me to ask, if you have prepared everything for the party tonight,"Chris replied, standing up as he walked to the fridge.
"I throw parties everyday, so he has to be more specific," I scoffed. Such a silly question.
Chris suddenly froze, causing my eyebrows to furrow, turning around with a glass of water in hands, his eyes widened, " Bro, don't tell me you forgot! I've been reminding you everyday for the past week. The launch party!" he basically yelled, "You said you would handle it."
My jaw hang open, oh no.
Freezing was an understatement when it came to what my body was doing at the moment. Shit!
"That's today?!" I half asked, half yelled back, as my eyes widened.
Dang it!
Chris rolled his eyes, "you " he began, pointing at me, before taking a sip and gulping, "are going to be in deep trouble dumbass. Dad is going to freak out when he finds out you haven't even started," Chris replied with an amused chuckle, "Bad day to be you."
Bolting out of my seat, I took my phone out, scrolling through the contacts, Eduardo must be free.
"Who are you calling?" Chris asked, coming back from the fridge with the remaining half of a cake in his hands. He grabbed a knife, carefully slicing a large piece as I replied, "Garden Grounds."
"Oh they're already booked, there's a Tinder thing happening there, "
"Dang it!" I yelled, stopping the call before shifting through the other contact, maybe Elisa-
"Don't try The Sparks, they're booked too," Chris called out, licking his fingers off, "I love chocolate, " he groaned, like I suddenly cared.
"Damn it, where else?" I asked to no one in particular. I could feel the stress lines forming.
Dad was going to kill me! Yep, I could see the headlines tomorrow, "Superstar Justin Star Ryder, rightfully murdered by Billionaire Robin Ryder for messing up his Launch party."
"Chris, Dads going to kill me, " I stated plainly, locking him right into my gaze.
Chris calmly walked over to me carrying his bowl with him, pausing right before me. It was then I noticed he had also paired the cake with my favorite lime ice cream, "I'm telling you brother, all the good venues are booked every night. That's why I told you to make a reservation a week ago, " he scolded.
"Well, there's no point in crying over spilled milk," I hissed, matching his stern gaze, before turning away collapsing in the chair, "oh Dad is going murder me, I promised him I would have this under control," I muttered, running my hands through my hair in frustration, a habit I told myself to stop.
"Oh he definitely will murder, decapitate and mull you, " Chris encouraged, " this launch party is essential, " he finished, humming again in satisfaction after taking another bite.
I looked back up at him in disgust, "You know if you're going to keep eating here, you should help with the groceries."
His blue eyes immediately snapped to me, guarding his bowl in defence, "You are not taking this cake away from me, it is too damn delicious," Chris hissed, going into Silver Sworn, guardian mode.
The bowl containing my cake and ice cream being the Sandix, the supposedly most powerful object in the world he was sworn to guard with his life in the over the top movie, if you ask me.
"Where did you buy this slice of heaven?" He asked, once sitting a good distance away from me, tasting the chocolate favored cake in all it's tenderness with it's soft cream and cheesy flavor.
I knew because I was the one who proudly ate the other half. I've been stealing a piece each hour since yesterday.
"Margie made it, " I replied, still wondering where on earth I would get a venue, dreading the call I would have to give my father if I didn't find one, "she's really good at cakes and parties,"I finished mindlessly.
There was a silence before something clicked and my eyes snapped to Chris who was also staring back at me in sudden realisation.
"Don't tell me your thinking what I'm thinking,"Chris spoke first, as I nodded in approval, a wide smile crossing my features.
"Margie Margarita!" We shouted together, at the exact moment before bursting into a round of deep chuckles.
I paused counting down, underneath my breath, "3, 2, 1-"
"I'm comming, I'm comming," a scrawny voice called from the direction of the hallway.
In no time I could hear the familiar footsteps of tiny feet before Margie appeared with a dust brush in her hands, wiping her hands on her apron, that fitted snuggly around her chubby body.
She paused in front of us, looking up, pushing her grey locks from her face with a slight huff.
Standing straight yet still the shortest in the room as her expectant gaze trailed from Chris' to mine, lifting her grey sprinkled eyebrows, awaiting explanation for the call.
"Margarita!" I called getting up, as I engulfed her in a hug, Chris close behind,
She wiggled in my arms, a slight chuckle escaping her pursed lips, as I pulled away, offering her my best smile, " you called?" She asked with a knowing look.
Her voice was deep for a female, yet warm and motherly as would have been expected from the 55 year old woman, who had served my Father first before moving to serve me when I moved out of Dads villa.
It was one of the only conditions Dad had asked of me, after moving out at eighteen.
He trusted Margie, and he believed I would be fine under her care, as my helper.
"Oh Margie, did I ever tell you how wonderful you are?" I asked, throwing one arm around her.
The short woman, rolled her eyes with a motherly chuckle, as Chris added, "and did I ever tell you how much you mean to me?" he said, moving to give her another hug.
"Stop making me feel so special, " she replied, pulling out of Chris arm with a grin, "two handsome young men flattering an old lady like me?" she asked, her Spanish accent heavy in each word.
"You deserve all the pampering in the world," I continued buttering her up.
"Exactly! You're special and..." Chris trailed off, throwing another hand around her waist, " so is your cake," he finished, lowering himself down into her hear.
I pushed him off as he chuckled, was he trying to convince her? Or flirt with her?
Margie rolled her eyes at this action, probably more than familiar with our attitudes,"okay, that's enough boys, what's the catch? " she asked brushing us off as she went around the counter, putting the cup Chris had left so carelessly in the sink.
Biting my lip, I moved closer, placing my hands on the white marble counter as I leaned in watching her wipe it down after placing the bowl in the sink as well, "nothing, I just wanted to thank you," I said my face turning red.
"Oh really?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. She probably knew what was coming.
I hummed, nodding as I placed my elbows on the counter, throwing her my best puppy face.
"I know there's always an and," She hinted, glancing up at me.
"Damn it, " I broke down, "I completely forgot about the launch party Dad told me to do, and he's going to kill me if he finds out, " I stressed kill to let her know the importance, "I tried to book a place but they are all taken, so I thought why suffer when I have the absolute best party planner working for me, and the best cooker slash designer and did I say you look perfect today?"
Margie folded her arms, but I could see the smile threatening to shine through. Honestly this was more for her than for me.
Her wrinkled little hands couldn't say no to anything that included cooking, baking or parties, "when is it?" she asked.
"Tonight..." I trailed off, gauging her reaction.
"Tonight?!" She blurted out, "do you know how fancy these launch parties get?! You need a like a whole day to get ready for them and weeks of preparation."
"oh we know, but your fantastic at this and I'm a hundred percent sure you can do it," Chris added begging, "if you do this for us, I promise I'll keep Justin's lazy butt in check and this won't happen again, " he swore, crossing his chest.
"Lazy? I'm not lazy," I scoffed, with a glare.
"shhh!" He hushed, "C'mon Margie," Chris begged. I had no choice but to swallow my pride and beg.
I mean really beg. I was about to kiss the floor before she finally accepted.
"Fine!" she huffed out, finally giving in to the smile she had been hiding, "I'm only going to do this because you're my favorite boys," she said.
"and you're our favorite," I replied kissing her soft wrinkled cheek,"your cheeks are so soft," I discovered, kissing them again, as Chris kissed the other,
"I'll change my mind, Justin," She warned, her cute chubby round face forming a light frown.
"Okay, Okay," I chuckled out, pushing Chris back, before lifting my hands up in mock surrender.
"but seriously they're so soft. Like how do you get to fifty and still look that fresh?" Chris asked as he sat down and enjoyed the remainder of his cake , still looking at Margie who was now cleaning the kitchen cupboards.
"You'll find out when your fifty," she replied with a quick laugh.
" I would like to look like you when I get there," I announced taking a seat beside Chris who proceeded to offer me a fork, as I dipped into the delicious, very delicious treat before me, gazing up at a chuckling Margie in awe.
********
I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter! What do you think of Justin?
here's a note, Chris and Justin are adopted brothers. Hence the small age difference.
I'll leave the image of Justin to your imaginations but for Chris, I imagined him as Lucky Blue Smith. Go ahead and g****e him, if you don't know him.
please leave a review of the book if you like it!
My fingers twitched underneath the pillow I was hugging against my chest, chin resting on its tender softness, biting my lip as I offered up the most adorable puppy eyes anyone has ever seen- “No.” My eyes widened at the rejection, gasping as I stared at my cousin in absolute shock, “whaaaaaaaaat?!” I gasped. She hummed in response lifting up two dresses she had been carefully selecting from the wardrobe. “The black one,” I grunted. She looked it over frowning, “but I liked the red one.” “Then why the hell did you show me the black one if you had already made up your mind?” I asked, exasperated, eyes still wide from the rejection. I swear Britney was a handful at times, but what can you do when she’s family? She paused as if thinking it over before shrugging. “Britney!” I hissed, discarding the pillow as I watched her try on the black dress. She didn’t reply as she pulled up the dress on her model like figure, sweeping he
Breathing out I straightened my back, folding my onsie and placing it neatly on bed. Retrieving my phone instead, I swiped through my contacts, hands still shaking from the excitement. “Pick up, pick up, pick up” I muttered as it buzzed. “Makayla are you done?!” Britney yelled from somewhere I couldn’t see, hearing her footsteps head towards the door of my room. I immediately rushed into the bathroom, locking the door behind me, taking a seat on the closed toilet, “Yeah! I’m in the bathroom, give me a sec!” I yelled back. I glanced at my phone, relieved when it flashed and a face popped up, “Ted!” I whispered lowly as he sent me his wide grin. His green eyes lit up like they always did when he was all up in my face, taking all my time. He took off his large headsets, placing his controller down, running a hand through his short curled brown hair, eyebrows arching, “are you in the toilet?” “That’s the first thing you noticed?” I asked watching him smir
The launch party was extremely high class. High over the top ladies and trimmed smart looking men. “C’mon this way,” Britney called moving through the crowd of waiters and the high-class association of A-list Celebrities. I was trying so hard to take in the fabulousity of the whole thing, from the incredible décor to the food and ofcourse the celebrities, millionaires and billionaires alike, I had no idea where to start from. “There he is!” Britney squealed eyes focused on one direction. My eyes trailed to whatever it was she was looking at finally seeing the man himself, Chris Ryder, standing beside a well spread banquet of food, literally stuffing his face in. I watched in slight disgust as he snuck in a treat from the table of delights. “They must have not been feeding it back in England,” I muttered, pulling at my bag strap turning slightly to Britney, “don’t they know you always have to feed it
What the hell just happened? My mind was a blurry mess as I lay underneath the bushes frozen in time, my hand over my mouth unable to recover from the shck of it all. Justin Star had just- Save him! My thoughts screeched from within my mind, begging my body to get up and do something. but I was paralyzed in those ten seconds, unable to believe Justin Star Ryder was unconscious, sinking to the bottom of his own pool with a wound at the back of his head. “Okay, okay,” I breathed out shakily rolling out from underneath the bushes, shakily getting to my feet. I knew what came about with my job description but I never thought I'd ever been in such a [position. breathing heavily still unable to comprehend my situation, I approached the edge of the crimson-colored pool, my heart coming to my throat at the sight of Justin’s blood. “Oh my god,” I gasped my hand finding its way back to mouth again, unable to control any part of my nerves. I couldn't see him th
I touched my bandaged head groaning in pain as Chris fluffed the pillow behind my head, “That’s what you get when you date the wrong girl,” he stated with a slight chuckle. I squinted in the invading sunlight, “the curtains,” I grunted, raising one sore arm toward the intruding sunlight. Day two in this hell hole and I was already sick of it. He closed them taking a seat beside my bed, “you brother, look like shit,” “Why thank you brother, I’ve had worser days. Believe me when I say looking like shit’s an improvement,” I scoffed as he chuckled. Sighing, I gazed upwards at the silver ceiling of the private wing hospital room I had been brought to. “Lucy,” I muttered the bitter name, “I knew she was desperate for me but I didn’t think she was that in love with me,” I suddenly groaned again, touching my head which had developed a splitting headache. “Love?” Chris mocked, “No Justin, Lucy’s a frickin psychopath that is hop
3 weeks later:I should quit drinking.These hangovers were getting worser every time. I wasn’t fooling anyone but myself, I could never quite drinking, I liked the feeling of not existing for a few hours, to get rid of the pain for a glorious second, and because of that, I could bear the headaches with open arms. A great sacrifice must be paid for favor so great.With that thought in mind, I fought over the pounding in my head, succeeding to open my eyes. The first thing to come in sight was the mop of blond hair, lying beside me, her bare back exposed to me, half covered by the light sheet. I stared at the deep red lines that run down her fair skin, images of last night flashing in my mind. Anger, pain…that was all I could see.Turning on my back, I stared up at the white ceiling, remembering the last two weeks. For two weeks I had been better, I had felt better, and promised Clair I was, but the mo
I stared at the shiny silver surfaces of the elevator doors, glancing down at the buttons to see how many floors it would take before I could reach the office. The doors dinged and slid open revealing the cubicle offices that lined the office.I took a deep breath in, sighing. Just how I like it. The smell of gossip and sweat, yep there was something brewing. Walking past the cubicles, nodding to my fellow co-workers I turned around sharply at the sound of my name.“Mckayla! Hey! Over Here!” Ted called, sliding out of his cubicle, his hair a ruffled mess, a football in one hand. My eyebrows furrowed, walking towards him, “weren’t you over there?” I asked, pointing to the elevator doors, leaning against the table.He grinned, “Ha. Ha, I get it, “ he chuckled, placing the football on the desk, “because I’m not a full time member of the close up, so technically I don’t belong here?“ he asked“Exactly…so...” I trailed off, glancing at the magazine with the
“Do you think I’m a bitch for taking the offer?’ I casually asked Ted, leaning back as I watched him take a sip of his smoothie. He looked back at me raising an eyebrow like the perfect pro he was, as if surprised I was asking, not as if I hadn’t just told him everything about the supposed ‘job offer’ and making it top three in the Selection during lunch. He hummed, shrugging. My jaw dropped, throwing down my napkin, “you think I’m a bitch!” I gasped.He almost choked on his smoothie, putting it down for safety sake shaking his head immediately, “whoa, hold on. I didn’t say that. Those words didn’t come out of my mouth,” he defended.“Please,” I scoffed with a slight eye role, “you don’t have to say it, that face is the only thing you need to make it clear to me,” I huffed.“Firstly,” he began, sitting straighter, his impressive athletic shoulder build covering an large part of the booth we were seated in whilst having lunch, “You can be a scary thug above
IT WAS STRANGE standing in front of a celebrity’s door. I hated to admit it but I was nervous. My paparazzi self was not used to not running, I kind of felt like I was supposed to ding and ditch, but no I had a proper invitation that was why I was allowed through the gate and to where I was standing right now.Knocking on Robin Ryders doors. How frickin awesome was this!Breathe, Makayla breathe. I eased myself.Taking a look at myself I was not completely comfortable with my outward appearance. With some help unwanted from Aunt Molly, she had managed to pick the ‘right dresses for a job interview that I had to say pushed the limits to an extent most girls would consider okay but for me it was completely hideous. I didn’t feel comfortable at all. I kept pulling the bottom down, completely despising how it clutched to my body. All this happened whilst trying to invade Britney which we had failed miserably finally telling her I
I stared up at my reflection in the mirror, hazel eyes and dirt brown hair staring back at me,Keep me in check? What did Dad think I was? A puppy? I fucking don’t need an assistant nagging me wherever I went.I scoffed, Rolling my eyes, I spit into the sink, rinsing my toothbrush hopping the smell of cigarettes on my breath had been dissolved. Moving out of the bathroom I stepped back into my bedroom, the dull dark colors of the suite bearing before me. Rubbing my neck, and the sore spots down the side of it, I trudged toward my bed, taking a seat by the edge. 2 shows in one night had done its best to drain my right out. Leaning over, I put my face into my hands, swaying back just enough to feel dizzy. Opening my eyes again, I stared into nothingness allowing the quiet to settle all around me.I was alone. For the first time this week I was going to bed alone. And I hated it. I hated being alone, because then I would start to think
Chris POVI walked into the home theater, my eyes skimming across the display of cinema chairs, spotting my father in the front row, eyes focused on the large screen in front of him with his 3d glasses on. Approaching him, I noticed he was dressed in casual clothing, bright colors being favored with his famous cane propped in between his legs. I chuckled to myself as I drew closer, unable to comprehend, how a man in his late sixties managed to look so good in a Hawaiian t-shirt and light blue shorts.Taking a seat beside him, I drilled into his popcorn, the taste of sweet butter soon hanging on my lips, sighing as I leaned back, my eyes settling on the movie that was being screened.That felt better.“So Valeria was the Sandix all along?!” Dad asked astonished, turning to face me after the movie had finished, his eyebrows drawn together.I nodded in reply.“But-but she was a guardian,” he countered.A grin played a
“Do you think I’m a bitch for taking the offer?’ I casually asked Ted, leaning back as I watched him take a sip of his smoothie. He looked back at me raising an eyebrow like the perfect pro he was, as if surprised I was asking, not as if I hadn’t just told him everything about the supposed ‘job offer’ and making it top three in the Selection during lunch. He hummed, shrugging. My jaw dropped, throwing down my napkin, “you think I’m a bitch!” I gasped.He almost choked on his smoothie, putting it down for safety sake shaking his head immediately, “whoa, hold on. I didn’t say that. Those words didn’t come out of my mouth,” he defended.“Please,” I scoffed with a slight eye role, “you don’t have to say it, that face is the only thing you need to make it clear to me,” I huffed.“Firstly,” he began, sitting straighter, his impressive athletic shoulder build covering an large part of the booth we were seated in whilst having lunch, “You can be a scary thug above
I stared at the shiny silver surfaces of the elevator doors, glancing down at the buttons to see how many floors it would take before I could reach the office. The doors dinged and slid open revealing the cubicle offices that lined the office.I took a deep breath in, sighing. Just how I like it. The smell of gossip and sweat, yep there was something brewing. Walking past the cubicles, nodding to my fellow co-workers I turned around sharply at the sound of my name.“Mckayla! Hey! Over Here!” Ted called, sliding out of his cubicle, his hair a ruffled mess, a football in one hand. My eyebrows furrowed, walking towards him, “weren’t you over there?” I asked, pointing to the elevator doors, leaning against the table.He grinned, “Ha. Ha, I get it, “ he chuckled, placing the football on the desk, “because I’m not a full time member of the close up, so technically I don’t belong here?“ he asked“Exactly…so...” I trailed off, glancing at the magazine with the
3 weeks later:I should quit drinking.These hangovers were getting worser every time. I wasn’t fooling anyone but myself, I could never quite drinking, I liked the feeling of not existing for a few hours, to get rid of the pain for a glorious second, and because of that, I could bear the headaches with open arms. A great sacrifice must be paid for favor so great.With that thought in mind, I fought over the pounding in my head, succeeding to open my eyes. The first thing to come in sight was the mop of blond hair, lying beside me, her bare back exposed to me, half covered by the light sheet. I stared at the deep red lines that run down her fair skin, images of last night flashing in my mind. Anger, pain…that was all I could see.Turning on my back, I stared up at the white ceiling, remembering the last two weeks. For two weeks I had been better, I had felt better, and promised Clair I was, but the mo
I touched my bandaged head groaning in pain as Chris fluffed the pillow behind my head, “That’s what you get when you date the wrong girl,” he stated with a slight chuckle. I squinted in the invading sunlight, “the curtains,” I grunted, raising one sore arm toward the intruding sunlight. Day two in this hell hole and I was already sick of it. He closed them taking a seat beside my bed, “you brother, look like shit,” “Why thank you brother, I’ve had worser days. Believe me when I say looking like shit’s an improvement,” I scoffed as he chuckled. Sighing, I gazed upwards at the silver ceiling of the private wing hospital room I had been brought to. “Lucy,” I muttered the bitter name, “I knew she was desperate for me but I didn’t think she was that in love with me,” I suddenly groaned again, touching my head which had developed a splitting headache. “Love?” Chris mocked, “No Justin, Lucy’s a frickin psychopath that is hop
What the hell just happened? My mind was a blurry mess as I lay underneath the bushes frozen in time, my hand over my mouth unable to recover from the shck of it all. Justin Star had just- Save him! My thoughts screeched from within my mind, begging my body to get up and do something. but I was paralyzed in those ten seconds, unable to believe Justin Star Ryder was unconscious, sinking to the bottom of his own pool with a wound at the back of his head. “Okay, okay,” I breathed out shakily rolling out from underneath the bushes, shakily getting to my feet. I knew what came about with my job description but I never thought I'd ever been in such a [position. breathing heavily still unable to comprehend my situation, I approached the edge of the crimson-colored pool, my heart coming to my throat at the sight of Justin’s blood. “Oh my god,” I gasped my hand finding its way back to mouth again, unable to control any part of my nerves. I couldn't see him th
The launch party was extremely high class. High over the top ladies and trimmed smart looking men. “C’mon this way,” Britney called moving through the crowd of waiters and the high-class association of A-list Celebrities. I was trying so hard to take in the fabulousity of the whole thing, from the incredible décor to the food and ofcourse the celebrities, millionaires and billionaires alike, I had no idea where to start from. “There he is!” Britney squealed eyes focused on one direction. My eyes trailed to whatever it was she was looking at finally seeing the man himself, Chris Ryder, standing beside a well spread banquet of food, literally stuffing his face in. I watched in slight disgust as he snuck in a treat from the table of delights. “They must have not been feeding it back in England,” I muttered, pulling at my bag strap turning slightly to Britney, “don’t they know you always have to feed it