Chapter one.

Pearl's POV 

“Give me a child, Pearl,” My husband says breathlessly, facing the ceiling while I lay beside him.

After an intense moment of pleasure, where some people don't even remember their names, this thought was all he had in mind.

His words sting my heart and I let go of the feeling that he may have missed me. That's why he came by last night. No…I was wrong, In the three months we haven't seen each other he doesn't miss me, he is all about having a baby still… which I'm not against, but I'm not pregnant.

I berate myself for thinking he missed me, I sit up on the bed, drawing my knees to press my chest, as if to stop the bleeding in my heart.

“Give me a baby, Pearl,” He repeats the words, and this time his voice is firmer and devoid of any emotion which is unlike my husband and it really hurts, the only thing that matters these days is giving him a child.

I want that too, it's been 7 years, and I wish I had gotten pregnant sooner, maybe my previous fear in my early stage of marriage sent my luck away.

“That's not a job for one person in the relationship, Maybe it's not our luck,” The words roll out of my tongue before I even get to mentally edit them, that's is not the reply I should give, but frustration seeps out of me with words before I get to tame it.

“What did you say, Pearl?” He springs up from his lying position as if I said something abominable, this topic has not been going well between us lately.

He narrows his dark eyes at me, I flinch with fear, my husband has been acting strange for a while now, and I fear that he may hit me out of anger which he has never done, but with how things have been going lately the potential that he might do it is not limited.

“You've been avoiding me, Fabian, how can I get pregnant?” I keep my tone low, I don't want us to quarrel again, it's enough torture that we've been apart in the past three months.

“How do you expect me to stay here with you when you hit my Mom because she requested for a grandchild, isn't that what any woman would expect when her child is married?” 

I shut my eyes, repressing my anger so I don't spit venom out of anger, “Fabian, I don't like how you're sounding, I didn't hit her, she did that to herself!” The events of that day flashed in my mind and I grind my teeth in anguish.

“Bullshit! My mother cannot intentionally hurt herself. You know how much I hate lying,” he dashes me a disdainful look before lifting his weight from the bed.

My heart plummets with fear when I remember the consequential secret I'm keeping from him.

“I thought you believed me that day when you sent her away. Why are we still arguing about this? Is that why you've been avoiding me?” My tone dripping with hurt.

“I sent her away doesn't mean I believe you, you're my wife, I trust you and I love you, but now I'm beginning to doubt all that because sometimes I feel like I don't know the woman I've been sharing my life within the past seven years,” he confession strikes a nerve within me.

Has he fallen out of love with me? Did he find out who I am? 

“Fabian, You don't need to doubt anything, it's still me…I have not changed, we can sort out our issues together as a couple like we always do, Distancing yourself from me won't solve the problem,” There's so much desperacy in my voice, I love my Husband so much the thought of losing him is heart-wrenching.

My husband starts pacing around the room, restlessly not minding the fact that he is naked, he looks too conflicted to bother about it, as if he hears my thoughts he goes into the closet and emerges with shorts.

“When last did you go for a pregnancy check-up?” He asks, immediately he comes out from the closet, his voice is dangerously calm.

“2 months ago,” My voice is weak with pain and dismay, almost carried away by air.

“What was the result?” My heart clenches again, he wants me to tell him I'm pregnant, he wants good news, my heart breaks even more when I decipher the expectant look on his face, but he knows he'll be the first to know if I discover I'm pregnant.

“Negative,” I reply. I see his jaw muscles twitch and it pricks my battered heart even more, tears well in my eyes but I blink them back.

I steal a glance at my husband and he is not looking exactly happy with the news, worried lines marking his forehead.

He did an admirable job of concealing his anger but I know he is deeply hurt, I am too.

I roll off the bed picking my clothes, I can't sit in this room for another minute, it is becoming unbelievably suffocating despite the AC.

I throw on my clothes as I enter the bathroom, I lift my convulsing hands to pour some water on my face as I try to ease the tension that has taken over my body.

I take in deep breaths to ease the tension and restore my confidence before walking out of the room.

“You care to tell me what this is?” My husband throws a pill bottle at me.

I manage to catch it before it lands on the floor and bring it up to my eyes to have a look at its content.

“Misoprostol….” I grimace in confusion, “What is this?” I raise my eyes to meet my husband's face, his eyes are bloodshot red, anger oozing from his every twitch.

What is the pill for? 

“I found that in our closet, Pearl. I didn't know you were this heartless,” His voice thick with pain.