Four

v e r n o n

"When the hell is he coming?” JB turned harshly to Mark. He couldn’t keep himself from fidgeting in impatience and agitation.

I inhaled sharply and collected my own restraint. The two continued to bicker as my eyes wandered in nervousness. 

I’ve done this a lot of times but even when you are used to vile acts, your conscience would always bug you like the first time you decided to pursue evil. 

Unlit light posts make the lower part of the suburb almost desolate. Empty establishments tower over the dark streets and dangerous people of the like wander around. The homeless. The drug addicts. The gangsters. The juvenile delinquents. They roam around like they rule the area. 

It resembled a hell hole. It’s the part of the city you’d never like to cross but then again, this part is invisible to the privileged. I mean, if you have the comfort of a civilized city and a first-class apartment, would you know that some people live in the streets? That in hunger, they feed their stomachs with cocaine? In desperation, they commit crimes? 

Places like this are avoided for they are deemed unsafe, but what do the safe and richer ones do to alleviate those who populate such undesirable living conditions? 

“He’s here! Quit crying like a baby in need of a damn breastfeed.” Mark hissed at JB before leaving us for some mid-aged supplier. 

The negotiation took seconds. Mark brought us to an abandoned building. By its narrow doorstep, he brought out his drug paraphernalia and we watched him like kids waiting for a magic show to unfold.

There were spoons, lighters, water, and syringes. He opened the pack of cocaine then poured its crystalline white powder on the spoon with  water, lit a lighter under it, and mixed it with his finger. It’s not the most sterile way to inject drugs but what the hell? We never really cared much. When it was finished, he transferred the solution to the syringe.

“Woah. You could be a chemist, Mark!” Mingyu laughed and clapped like an idiot. He’s probably had a few hits of grass to make him this energetic. 

“Yea. He could even be an entrepreneur. You know, make a business dealing drugs.” JB grinned sheepishly. 

“Then we’ll be fucking rich!” 

“Yea, I’ll buy my grandma a house and leave our toxic home,” Wonwoo dramatically added.

“Don’t cry Wonwoo! We’ll make sure Mark will be rich—”

“Take this so your fantasies come true.” Mark shoved us a syringe.

"I'll take it." I grabbed it and immediately received a dagger look from JB. Yea, I’m sure he'd like to go first but he wasn’t able to do anything anymore when I expertly penetrated the needle in a protruding vein in my arm. 

Mark nodded as he proceeded on making another one. 

Soon as the contents of the syringe were consumed, my heartbeat began slamming violently against my chest. A slight ringing emerged in my ears but immediately died down. The wave of pleasure rushed in my blood and sent me alive more than anything else. It was so intensely good which made it all the more addictive. 

An enormous amount of dopamine had conquered my body. It was impossible to control myself from smiling. I could do it forever with the pleasure that had inhabited me fully. 

The next flashes in my mind were characterized by a whole new level of happiness. Wonwoo, who was always quiet, wouldn't stop himself from talking. Laughing became as natural as breathing to me. God, the world was so beautiful and so pleasant, not a single thing is ugly or depressive.  

We wandered around the streets that were wrapped in beautiful streetlights and towering buildings. Laughter. Endless smiles. Dancing and running. 

It felt like a dream. 

Until it subsided. 

The thing about cocaine is that it takes effect immediately but fades after fifteen to twenty minutes. When it's over, it’s like someone had just removed the rosy filter that painted life in pink. 

And who would want such high to be gone so soon? After roaming around the dark streets, we had a little break and injected ourselves again.

Craving for the hype and buzz that would match our ecstatic feeling, Mingyu decided to wander around the more urbanized part of town. The total opposite of our place right now. The north is a place where people never sleep and the night is always alive. 

"We better go to a bar, dude. Get some hot girl to sit on your lap." Mark convinced Mingyu so seriously like he’s giving him career advice.

"I really want to dance right now!" Mark cheered as if he wasn't already striking movements in the streets. 

"Let's go to a bar. You could even pay for a private room where a prostitute could dance on you. You know, all yours. You could dance with her, grab her booty, or hell you could even---" Mingyu cut him off because his imagination was getting too explicit. 

"I'd like to grab a beer." I decided instead. 

The boys abide by my request. We found a nearby stall that sold sodas and beer. We sat on one of the stools outside and drank a little while until a police officer sat beside me. 

I turned to him. Our eyes met but I quickly looked away, afraid he might see how bloodshot they were. 

He seemed clueless and unsuspecting. I should have been relieved. I should have stopped there, and ignored his presence. But something just kept on stealing my interest--the gun in his back pocket. 

Suddenly, my hands had gone too itchy to hold it. 

I gulped and bit my lip. I couldn't fight the urge to snatch it. My skin craved for the feel of power that leers on its metallic rust. How lovely would it be to hold the pistol in my hands, pull its trigger, shoot it everywhere and send noises like firecrackers? I laughed inwardly. 

My eyes drifted back to the police officer. I felt superior to him. I know I could shoot him and make his skull explode. Vivid blood will fountain from his head and wrinkled portions of his brain would scatter. A bloodbath. An ocean of shattered cerebrum would decorate the lifeless streets. The credit goes to me. A masterpiece. What a majestic sight! I am fearless and uncontrollable more than anything right now. I know I can do it. I can paint this place red. I can make music with that damned gunshots. 

I stole the gun in a haste. 

The officer jumped out of his seat. His face went briefly from surprised to darkening in rage. In a second, he was a provoked bull about to kill me with its horns. 

"What the fuck?!" The veins on his forehead protruded at his shout of fury. 

He launched at me and tried to snatch the gun back but I quickly stood up and created a good distance between us, and then pointed the weapon before him.

“Vernon, what are you doing?!” Mingyu’s voice thundered in immense horror.

The others were caught in a haze too. But their fear was short-lived. Once they’ve adjusted to the sudden panic driven by my actions, adrenaline has filled them with excitement. 

"Wonwoo, catch it!" I threw the gun to Wonwoo. He jumped and caught it in the air.

"You pricks! Give it back!" 

The officer was yelling his wrath out but we were having the time of our lives. We were reckless and powerful youth above the law. We moved briskly, laughing while tossing the pistol from each other.

"I am not playing with you kids. Give the damn gun back." The cop warned more menacingly this time. 

I know he could advance to us and use violence. He’s probably just restraining himself, but in his second warning, I felt his patience ending. 

"You want to get your gun? Come. Get it." Wonwoo baby talked and teased him. It was aggravated by Mingyu’s chuckles.

“Give it back.” Along with the stern command, the officer brought out another pistol. 

Fear painted our faces in synchrony as the latter hovered toward us, wary of our movements.

"Hell no. Old hag." My eyes widened when Wonwoo pointed back the gun at the officer. 

"What the fuck?!" I shoved his shoulder to stop him but he remained still.

"What's happening here?" 

Our doom appeared before us. Two more cops were heading in our direction. Dead end. We were horrified for a moment. The tension and danger embraced us. It’s either we get caught or we run away and risk getting shot.

We chose the latter.

"Run!" 

We took Mark's cue and we all bolted towards random directions.

The cops ran after us. We sprinted in opposite alleys to escape and lose them. My body smashed and stumbled into strangers as I ran for my life, so fast that I was flying, so fast I could no longer feel my feet and my lungs. 

It felt like forever but I kept running, not really sure where to escape. 

When I glanced back and saw no trace of anyone, I entered a small convenience store. It had no customers and the cashier was oblivious of me so I hid under one of its tables to rest. 

The loud banging of my heart overwhelmed me. Only then that I realized how worn out I was. The sudden comedown of energy felt like I've fought thousands of battles. I struggled to catch my breath, shivered in fear, and felt frustrated with myself. Fuck. I should have not done it. 

But what’s done is done. I hid there until my instincts told me it’s safe enough to come out. I took a quick search of the outside and when I was assured there were no cops, I ran slowly towards a random road.

___

All the running had made me sober. I stopped by a nearby brick wall and brought a cigarette stick to my lips. I had no idea where the hell my friends were but I’m sure they’d be safe. It isn’t the first time we ran away from trouble anyway. 

I was about to light my cigarette but my hands were caught hanging in the air. I froze at the sight of something.

A girl emerged from the club in front of me. Red disheveled hair on top of the disarrayed skimpy dress blinded my eyes. She leaned on a metal pole of the bar that holds up its neon sign. I watched as her shoulders began to shudder in restrained whimpers. Some middle-aged man joined her. 

My eyes narrowed for the next scene. He started touching the girl against her will. Due to her protests, the man grew violent, forcing her between his arms and gripping her arms tight. The girl turned around for some help.

I was about to intervene if not only I caught a better view of her face. Her hair was the color of scarlet but her eyes were pitch black. Those lips. Those eyes. That dainty fragile-like body. All of it screamed familiarity. 

Despite the heavy make-up and unusual clothes, I knew it was her. 

It was impossible to mistake someone special.