Share

Ephemeral - A Modern Love Story
Ephemeral - A Modern Love Story
Author: Rose Lilith L.

Prologue

last update Last Updated: 2021-05-18 18:25:55

A woman sits alone under the flickering lights of a bus station on the border between Roseville and Citrus Heights, hoping to catch the last bus headed towards the light rail station. This late at night, so few people are around waiting for buses or trains, especially in that city. The only people still left around are much like the man she sees waiting at the bus stop across from her, delved way too deep into a smoking cigarette, where one would have to wonder if the man is consuming the cigarette or if the cigarette is consuming him. She couldn’t judge however, she knew better than that. A notification rings from inside her purse, something inside of her tells her that it’s the inevitable text she would always be bound to receive, a text as unavoidable as the cigarette smoke lingering across the bust terminal from the man’s cigarette.

you’re nothing without me

Her lips seem to grasp the words from mid-air and her tongue helps her swallow those words from the cold air they were taken from. Strangely, she liked the taste of the words filling her throat. They were almost a reminder, an affirmation, or a mandate towards her newly found freedom. A bittersweet smile appears on her face and her fingers quickly tap on her phone’s screen to send another message before blocking the number forever.

no. i’m everything without you

Related chapters

  • Ephemeral - A Modern Love Story   The Heartbreak Playlist

    When the printed slide sheets are more ink and highlighter than they are paper, when the heat from the desk lamp begins to warm the desk, and when the apartment I share with my best friend is empty, it becomes the perfect time to fall into the tower of pillows atop my hastily made bed to listen to the playlist that Matthew gave me before he fucked off to the other side of the damn country. New York, where his parents graduated from and expected him to go for college, or whatever else uppity-yuppy bullshit his parents wanted from him. The moments between school, work, and kicking out random one-night stands are usually when I begin listening to the playlist. There is a moment of tense anticipation that occurs in between me plugging my earphones into my phone and me starting the actual playlist but it’s anything but quiet. In that space devoid of any meaningful sound, I hear the last words he said to me in person — listen to this when you miss me, but try to find someone else.

    Last Updated : 2021-05-18
  • Ephemeral - A Modern Love Story   A Deal

    Seconds dissolved into minutes, then into hours, listening to each song allowing myself to dissolve back into the slivers of the past like I, myself, am the seconds themselves. In the daze, I find myself leaving my bed to wander around the room to dance to the faster songs, until I settle onto my desk chair. Each lyric fading into the next, and into the next, uninterrupted. That is, until someone bursts through my bedroom door, sneaks up behind my chair, and yanks the earphones out of my ears. I turn around getting ready to punch a possibly home invader with the gall to interrupt my listening session, but instead resist the urge to wipe the shit-eating grin from Colton’s face by shoving him into my bookshelf. “What’s your deal?” I grumble and I begin to coil my earphones into a neat loop. “I was just telling you that I’m back, sheesh—” Colton pauses, and bends down to meet my eyes at the same level, sighing as he finishes. “You’re go

    Last Updated : 2021-05-18
  • Ephemeral - A Modern Love Story   Chlorine

    “Are you sure that this isn’t gonna be like one of those deals where we show up to the sorority house and they just straight up murder us?” Colton remarks as he peers over at the GPS on his phone.Emilia’s sorority house is located in a part of the state that we rarely ever find ourselves in, it’s the type of neighborhood in a far flung city where a person would be expected to pay nearly seven dollars for a cup of coffee plus another ten dollars for a bagel. “What makes you say that?”“You know how rich people are.”“Well seeing as we are going to a sorority party instead of a fool blown, eyes-wide shut type of party, I’m sure we’re safe.” I roll down the window once we reach the vicinity of the sorority house. I take note of the obviously different atmosphere of the neighborhood. There is a notable lack of the odors which accompany th

    Last Updated : 2021-05-18
  • Ephemeral - A Modern Love Story   Second and A Half

    The very beginnings of Autumn in the California Valley is highlighted with a distinct heat in the day and an even more distinct chill in evenings, it’s the type of chill that makes a commute on a motorcycle close to unbearable without a coat. Not that I go without a coat on my motorcycle anyway, even in the dead of the summer. In the month and a half since the sorority party, Parker and I have shared an impressive amount of text messages, occasional video chats, and a single meet up for dinner at a small scale restaurant in Midtown which charged heavily for a salad. Not quite enough to classify what we have going on as a formal relationship, but more like just simply getting to know each other a little more without the melodrama of commitment. So to say, I’m not quite ready enough to commit to writing a love note on a sticky note and sticking it on my fridge, but I have already begun on thinking about what to put on it. Emilia’s description of him was as apt as anything else that sh

    Last Updated : 2021-05-31
  • Ephemeral - A Modern Love Story   Things, They Happen

    Parker’s bronzed eyes burn with an intensity that is extinguished when he blinks and flickers back to vivacious life when he opens them again. A haze from our fevered panting and the heat emanating from the diffusion of sweat covers my window pane. If the outside is a raw bleakness, then the inside of my room is a sweltering heat — at least, that’s how it feels from my head, to my toes, and to the rest of my extremities. He pins my wrists to the middle center of my bed’s headboard and with the other, lifts my right leg into a raised bend. There is a pattern of fluidity which is accented with spikes of contradicting primitive crudity, like waves rising and crashing. I feel myself losing touch with any sense of control with each motion he makes, with every thrust forcing out an obscene sound or a swear after the sound of the headboard slamming against the wall. In addition to the loss of the sense of control, I also lose the sense of ache nipping at my heart. The voice in my mind cryi

    Last Updated : 2021-06-01
  • Ephemeral - A Modern Love Story   If You Can Read This

    I came out in High School. My parents didn’t really understand it, however my Uncle Raul did. It was a quiet summer evening before my Sophomore year when he came over. After he explained my identity to my parents in terms that they could understand, he joined me on the front porch swing. He was from a different time, and from an entirely different part of the country where they still believe that a Conversion Camp had any chance in derailing someone from fully embracing themselves. Needless to say, after he had to go through the cruelty of those camps at 14 years of age, his Aunt — my grandmother — adopted him. He grew up with my mother like he was her actual brother. So, having him to explain it to my parents was a rare privilege that so few people get to experience. It was on that front porch swing that he explained to me what he believed was most important for people like us; love. The people before us went through so much for it, fought tooth and nail for it, and even experience

    Last Updated : 2021-06-01
  • Ephemeral - A Modern Love Story   A Letter To Readers

    Hello! I am absolutely humbled and astounded that my little work in progress has had nearly 200 views, at the time of writing this chapter. Things have been crazy in my life, and I will resume writing more of this story in the near future. I would like to take the time to share a little bit about the inspiration for this story. As a trans woman myself, I find that there's so much that has to be said and explored about the relationships of trans folxs and their previous ex's -- so this book serves to explore a little bit more about that dynamic. Thank you so much, and please keep reading! Soleil would be ecstatic to know that her little life has been read this many times.

    Last Updated : 2021-12-13
  • Ephemeral - A Modern Love Story   A Realization

    Autumn has taken a hold of our part of the city as well, the leaves on the tree atop the roof top deck have begun falling down cluttering the stony floors. A few leaves blow past in the wake of a gust of wind and lands right on my shoe. The events of the previous two weeks have been caught on my mind. While Parker had been busy dealing with the ramifications of his failed experiment, I had been thrown into an emotional and logistical quagmire of sorts. Between midterms, Colton being unaware that I know his little secret, and Danilo somehow being brought into our apartment as a “temporary arrangement”, I have been completely lost in a whirlwind. Parker had surprised me earlier today by telling me that the entire debacle with their experiment had been concluded and was free to come to the city to meet with me. Though, a single phrase kept nagging at my brain. Don’t tell him about them.“Turns out, the University Board o

    Last Updated : 2021-12-13

Latest chapter

  • Ephemeral - A Modern Love Story   A Realization

    Autumn has taken a hold of our part of the city as well, the leaves on the tree atop the roof top deck have begun falling down cluttering the stony floors. A few leaves blow past in the wake of a gust of wind and lands right on my shoe. The events of the previous two weeks have been caught on my mind. While Parker had been busy dealing with the ramifications of his failed experiment, I had been thrown into an emotional and logistical quagmire of sorts. Between midterms, Colton being unaware that I know his little secret, and Danilo somehow being brought into our apartment as a “temporary arrangement”, I have been completely lost in a whirlwind. Parker had surprised me earlier today by telling me that the entire debacle with their experiment had been concluded and was free to come to the city to meet with me. Though, a single phrase kept nagging at my brain. Don’t tell him about them.“Turns out, the University Board o

  • Ephemeral - A Modern Love Story   A Letter To Readers

    Hello! I am absolutely humbled and astounded that my little work in progress has had nearly 200 views, at the time of writing this chapter. Things have been crazy in my life, and I will resume writing more of this story in the near future. I would like to take the time to share a little bit about the inspiration for this story. As a trans woman myself, I find that there's so much that has to be said and explored about the relationships of trans folxs and their previous ex's -- so this book serves to explore a little bit more about that dynamic. Thank you so much, and please keep reading! Soleil would be ecstatic to know that her little life has been read this many times.

  • Ephemeral - A Modern Love Story   If You Can Read This

    I came out in High School. My parents didn’t really understand it, however my Uncle Raul did. It was a quiet summer evening before my Sophomore year when he came over. After he explained my identity to my parents in terms that they could understand, he joined me on the front porch swing. He was from a different time, and from an entirely different part of the country where they still believe that a Conversion Camp had any chance in derailing someone from fully embracing themselves. Needless to say, after he had to go through the cruelty of those camps at 14 years of age, his Aunt — my grandmother — adopted him. He grew up with my mother like he was her actual brother. So, having him to explain it to my parents was a rare privilege that so few people get to experience. It was on that front porch swing that he explained to me what he believed was most important for people like us; love. The people before us went through so much for it, fought tooth and nail for it, and even experience

  • Ephemeral - A Modern Love Story   Things, They Happen

    Parker’s bronzed eyes burn with an intensity that is extinguished when he blinks and flickers back to vivacious life when he opens them again. A haze from our fevered panting and the heat emanating from the diffusion of sweat covers my window pane. If the outside is a raw bleakness, then the inside of my room is a sweltering heat — at least, that’s how it feels from my head, to my toes, and to the rest of my extremities. He pins my wrists to the middle center of my bed’s headboard and with the other, lifts my right leg into a raised bend. There is a pattern of fluidity which is accented with spikes of contradicting primitive crudity, like waves rising and crashing. I feel myself losing touch with any sense of control with each motion he makes, with every thrust forcing out an obscene sound or a swear after the sound of the headboard slamming against the wall. In addition to the loss of the sense of control, I also lose the sense of ache nipping at my heart. The voice in my mind cryi

  • Ephemeral - A Modern Love Story   Second and A Half

    The very beginnings of Autumn in the California Valley is highlighted with a distinct heat in the day and an even more distinct chill in evenings, it’s the type of chill that makes a commute on a motorcycle close to unbearable without a coat. Not that I go without a coat on my motorcycle anyway, even in the dead of the summer. In the month and a half since the sorority party, Parker and I have shared an impressive amount of text messages, occasional video chats, and a single meet up for dinner at a small scale restaurant in Midtown which charged heavily for a salad. Not quite enough to classify what we have going on as a formal relationship, but more like just simply getting to know each other a little more without the melodrama of commitment. So to say, I’m not quite ready enough to commit to writing a love note on a sticky note and sticking it on my fridge, but I have already begun on thinking about what to put on it. Emilia’s description of him was as apt as anything else that sh

  • Ephemeral - A Modern Love Story   Chlorine

    “Are you sure that this isn’t gonna be like one of those deals where we show up to the sorority house and they just straight up murder us?” Colton remarks as he peers over at the GPS on his phone.Emilia’s sorority house is located in a part of the state that we rarely ever find ourselves in, it’s the type of neighborhood in a far flung city where a person would be expected to pay nearly seven dollars for a cup of coffee plus another ten dollars for a bagel. “What makes you say that?”“You know how rich people are.”“Well seeing as we are going to a sorority party instead of a fool blown, eyes-wide shut type of party, I’m sure we’re safe.” I roll down the window once we reach the vicinity of the sorority house. I take note of the obviously different atmosphere of the neighborhood. There is a notable lack of the odors which accompany th

  • Ephemeral - A Modern Love Story   A Deal

    Seconds dissolved into minutes, then into hours, listening to each song allowing myself to dissolve back into the slivers of the past like I, myself, am the seconds themselves. In the daze, I find myself leaving my bed to wander around the room to dance to the faster songs, until I settle onto my desk chair. Each lyric fading into the next, and into the next, uninterrupted. That is, until someone bursts through my bedroom door, sneaks up behind my chair, and yanks the earphones out of my ears. I turn around getting ready to punch a possibly home invader with the gall to interrupt my listening session, but instead resist the urge to wipe the shit-eating grin from Colton’s face by shoving him into my bookshelf. “What’s your deal?” I grumble and I begin to coil my earphones into a neat loop. “I was just telling you that I’m back, sheesh—” Colton pauses, and bends down to meet my eyes at the same level, sighing as he finishes. “You’re go

  • Ephemeral - A Modern Love Story   The Heartbreak Playlist

    When the printed slide sheets are more ink and highlighter than they are paper, when the heat from the desk lamp begins to warm the desk, and when the apartment I share with my best friend is empty, it becomes the perfect time to fall into the tower of pillows atop my hastily made bed to listen to the playlist that Matthew gave me before he fucked off to the other side of the damn country. New York, where his parents graduated from and expected him to go for college, or whatever else uppity-yuppy bullshit his parents wanted from him. The moments between school, work, and kicking out random one-night stands are usually when I begin listening to the playlist. There is a moment of tense anticipation that occurs in between me plugging my earphones into my phone and me starting the actual playlist but it’s anything but quiet. In that space devoid of any meaningful sound, I hear the last words he said to me in person — listen to this when you miss me, but try to find someone else.

  • Ephemeral - A Modern Love Story   Prologue

    A woman sits alone under the flickering lights of a bus station on the border between Roseville and Citrus Heights, hoping to catch the last bus headed towards the light rail station. This late at night, so few people are around waiting for buses or trains, especially in that city. The only people still left around are much like the man she sees waiting at the bus stop across from her, delved way too deep into a smoking cigarette, where one would have to wonder if the man is consuming the cigarette or if the cigarette is consuming him. She couldn’t judge however, she knew better than that. A notification rings from inside her purse, something inside of her tells her that it’s the inevitable text she would always be bound to receive, a text as unavoidable as the cigarette smoke lingering across the bust terminal from the man’s cigarette. you’re nothing without me Her lips seem to grasp the words from mid-air and her to

DMCA.com Protection Status