Ambivalence And Everything In Between

 

13 July 2010

 

One of the basic realities in life tells us that no two objects, not even thought, can occupy the same space at the same time. Impenetrability applies to all forms of existence to create order, sequence or precedence. Not even our human capacity to love is spared from such a predicament. And whenever we find ourselves trapped in this labyrinth, conflicts arise.

Truly, one can never be both definite and ambivalent about his feelings, at any given time and space about persons or situations. With the present, urgent and pressing circumstances, however, one is prompted to react in such a rational way, if not instinctive. And in this transitory world, decisiveness is a factor for survival.

And perhaps the opposite of love is not hate but rather indifference and somewhere in between, in the spherical or planar intersection of chance, is where we find ambivalence. Ambivalence then is this betweenness that typically defines our inability to be definite. Once caught in this jargon, one’s only chance of survival is, again, to decide for one’s own sake. And for most of the times, heartaches would momentarily increase insurmountably before time finally takes charge to dissipate the impact of collision.

Running away remains another likely option once confronted with a situation where commitment is at stake. Any unfavorable situation could have been averted if not because of our deliberate intent to widen our horizon and involve our lives to persons of similar quandary. While half of the trip is getting there, the other half is getting back or sometimes getting out alive. And in the case of relationships, whether failed or successful, the journey is never that easy. But after a lifetime of chase, the laws of physics and nature are to assert its rightful design. Momentum and inertia are faces of the same coin.

While the most powerful tool in human history in located in between our ears, we are symmetrically created to mirror our left-to-right imperfections. Our limited understanding of instance and circumstance, impulsive concept of action and reaction and myopic view of cause and effect are all integral part of our sudden and oftentimes faulty decisions. Our personal and individual existence is a solitary confinement to a willful degree or relative extent of freedom.

 

The bottom-line of all these tedious, verbose and circumlocutory statements is that it is convenient staying in the middle of nearly everything. But in due time, we have to decide for ourselves. Birds will have to find a place to rest and even ships still long for the shore.

Certainly, there could be no enough, valid or reasonable explanation for all our faulty, irreverent and selfish human decisions. After all, how human will our lives be without our lapses, limitations and imperfections?

And admittedly, I must be nearing a point of saturation although ahead of me is still a lifetime of a story to tell.