Chapter 2

~

Life is messy

When you're rusty

You just have to make life work

To make your luck....

~anamikank05~

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Melissa's POV

Unknown-07-2008

My face felt warm from the touch of the sun. The warm touch felt nice as I woke up to the new day waiting for me. I turned my head to the alarm clock. “Wow, time flies.” I thought. The weight of reality hit when I remembered what time I had gone to bed at.

“Wait, did I sleep for almost 24 hours?” I mumbled to myself in disbelief. I ran my hand through my now greasy hair, grimacing at the touch.

"Actually, you slept for 2 days." A very light voice said at the end of the bed. I sat up to see Barbie looking at me worried. “Really?” I questioned hoping she was joking.

“Yeah, I thought I should take you to the hospital when you didn’t even wake up for food.” Barbie looked down at me worried.

I stared at her, waiting for her to tell me it was a joke and it was only the next day. We continued our staring contest until my mum interrupted us.

My mum sat on the bed patting my leg. "I’m glad to finally see you awake darling. You slept for quite some time, but I didn’t want to wake you. I hope it made you feel better, especially after the news of us moving. I was hoping to ease you into the idea of moving. I know it’s a lot but I’m sure you’ll love your new home in California. The neighbor is wonderful, with plenty of kids your age. You’ll make friends in no time I’m sure of it. We can continue talking once you're ready. Breakfast will be ready in a minute, go ahead and wash up. Come downstairs once you’re done.” My mum said as an attempt to comfort me.

My mind slowly woke up as my mum talked to me. I attempted to form words but nothing could come out. I felt like I could have cried, but I was too dehydrated for it. My mum got up and grabbed my sisters hand, leading her out of the room into the kitchen. Knowing that sitting in bed wasn’t going to change the numbness my mind felt, I got up to go to my bathroom.

I began to wash my face after seeing how puffy it was. The warm water felt good against the sweat and tear stain cheeks. After wiping my face off I put on some deodorant and dry shampoo, I wasn’t in the mood to shower. I went back out to my room and put on whatever clothes I could find. Which happened to be an old t-shirt and workout shorts.

I emerged from my room and went straight to the kitchen and sat down at the dining room table. My anxiety spiked as I remembered the conversation my mum and I had just a few days ago. My nose picked up the smell of my mum’s waffles as my stomach growled. It was good timing as I was going to ask my mum where breakfast was.

"Yummy!" I said eager to dig in as I watched the plate with an impatient eye.

"I know they are your favorite, so I made them especially for you.” My mum commented as she placed the plate carefully in front of me.

"Mum, that’s not fair!" Barbie whined as she watched me take my first bite.

"You know, when we go to California I will have more time to make food like this." Mum added as she poured a glass of water for herself.

"Mum I'm not in the mood for this." I countered.

"Darling we need to talk about it. We’re leaving soon anyway." She sat down. Barbie quietly watched us as she ate.

"Mum!" I yelled. “I know you don’t want to move, but we have to. I don’t have a choice. Barbie is completely fine with the decision.” I turned towards Barbie, not convinced.

“I think it would be fun being in California.” Barbie mumbled not wanting to be inserted into the conversation.

“You can’t be serious.” I shouted, hoping she would take my side in this. I mean Barbie had so many friends here she couldn’t be ok with just moving away.

“See, so it's final. We are moving.” My mum asserted.

“No we aren’t!” I shouted back. I got up and started down the hall.

****

I woke up once again, only to be staring at the ceiling. My head was pounding with each blink I made. I groaned at the feeling.

"What happened?" I thought out loud.

"You ran upstairs after ‘the talk’ with mum and then you fainted." Barbie said as she was braiding her hair at the bottom of the bed. I guess she was waiting for me to wake up.

"Oh. Where is mum?" I whisper, my head not letting me speak very loudly.

"She left for work." Barbie said casually, finishing her braid.

"Leaving me here unconscious?" I asked in disbelief.  

"Well not exactly, I'm with you so technically she didn’t leave you alone unconscious." she said turning towards me. She smiled showing all of her perfectly white teeth.

"That doesn’t make me feel any better." I blurted out. “Sorry.” I apologize to her. I know this wasn’t the right time to say anything I wanted to.

"You know just because I don't complain about everything doesn’t mean I’m completely fine with what’s happening. I mean i’m not completely happy about moving to the other side of the country, but life is unpredictable and you can’t just be upset when it doesn’t go your way.” Barbie scolded me as I looked down at my hands ashamed. Barbie continues without skipping a beat. “You act like you’re the only affected by this move. Everything you’re saying to mum really hurts her. Not only does she have to deal with you making mean comments, but she has to move her whole life, all while dealing with her heart disease.” Barbie’s eyes widened, she had misspoken.

“How do you know that?” I questioned in disbelief. Was my mum sick and I didn't even know it? Why would she keep this hidden. Tears I didn’t think could appear emerged from deep within me.

“I found one of her doctors reports from a recent visit. It didn’t look good from what I could understand. It made sense with all the recent doctor’s appointments she has been going to. She always hid it from us until I found a report of when she visited the doctor. When I brought her up to her she begged me not to tell anyone else.” Barbie looked at her hands, not able to watch me as tears yet again fell from my face.

"Oh." Was the only word I could muster up as I stared at Barbies’ head.

"What did must have really affected her. I don’t think she can handle anymore emotional strain. It’s not good for her heart.” With each word Barbie said I felt my lungs being crushed. The room felt heavier and heavier as silence ate at the space between words.

"No, I won’t let anything else happen to her." I am trying to convince myself that it would be ok.

“Well you better keep your word. It doesn’t matter what you say, it’s what you do from now on. Both of us don’t want to lose our mum, I mean we have already lost dad to god knows what. I don’t want to lose any more family, including you.” She tried to smile at me in comfort. The reality of everything settles in.

"I...I....I'm so...sorry.." I stutter out unable to say anything else. What if my mum dies because of me?

"You didn’t know. I can’t blame you, if I didn’t know I probably would have had a screaming match of my own." She tried to joke with me, in an effort to lift the mood.

"But what if I did something to her? What if she’s not ok? I just thought no one was listening and … oh god what if I did something to her?" I choked out, as tears streamed down my cheeks.

Barbie quickly got up from her sitting position and started to hug me. "You didn't do anything to her. You were just upset, but now you know.” She patted my back hoping to calm me down.

I sobbed into her shoulder, not believing my own mum was sick. Barbie stayed by my side the entire time, soothing me as I began to calm down. It was times like this that I loved having a sister, someone to be by my side. I couldn’t imagine being alone for this. I know that I am not always the greatest big sister, but I was so glad to have her. Barbie pulled away and smiled softly as she wiped that last of my tears. Our heads turned when a sudden knock at the door pulled us both out of our bubble.

We fully separated from each other as I got up from the bed. Barbie stayed seated as I used my hands to roughly wipe away any evidence of tears from my face. I opened my door to see mum waiting. It was surprising as she normally would be home in a few hours.

The sudden wave of regret rolled over my body as I looked at my mum. I grab a hold of her for dear life. “I don’t want to lose you.” I cry out, hoping that I squeeze hard enough she would never disappear. My mum’s body tensed from the sudden outcry.

"Is something wrong?" She asked prying me off of her, giving me the 'don't lie to me' look.

So I just told her the truth about everything and then she hugged me.

We ended up chatting for what felt like 2 hours, but really lasted until it was time to make dinner.

My mum seemed tired so she asked me if I would be willing to make dinner but I also was emotionally exhausted from the day and returned her look. We both knew Barbie would burn the house down, so I suggested we order out for tonight.

My mum let me know it was a one time thing and order from our local pizza place. When the pizza arrived it was 7 p.m. and all of us settled into our living room deciding it would be a good time to watch movies together.

I sat on the couch as I looked over to Babie and our mum cuddled up together. It may have been a horrible start, but I would say this moment was one of the best we’ve had in a while.