Chapter 166AngeloEverybody gets to a point where they feel like they're not doing alright. we all have a dark room that we all go into whether it's in our heads or in a split second or in a moment of rage or a fit of anger.I think I've come to the conclusion that I am two people and one because I'm one way at work and then I'm the other way at home at work. I would never cry. I would never show any sort of emotion. I mean emotionless but everything I do as my wife said is driven by emotion because I'm human after all and it's only when I feel safe around someone that I show my true emotions.I have a lot going on and the last thing I want is to not be the kind of father that I want to be I want to be a great father I want to be a father who's always there for their children is a postage for an who always shows up for them regardless even if I have a meeting I will show up for my kids events. It's the same thing that my wife said she doesn't like making promises to our children that
Chapter 167 Cleo I probably know when my husband is mad at me and I think after the meeting he had with his father and my brother he was livid. Just before he went and talked to both of them I pulled Romano aside and told him what was going on . I told him how I was feeling with regards to my husband protecting his other family members who were antagonizing me and none more so than the woman who is pulling all the strings and making people do her dirty work on her behalf Rosa . When Jane landed the personal assistant gig at Luca working for my husband I had to keep things professional because eyebrows were going to raise if I objected and I had to make a hard decision. I know my ex-best friend doesn't just do things she does things with purpose and intent . She's always been purposeful in her and her actions she would never just marry someone or she would never just decide to play house with someone that she claims that she loves and if he does love him then it's a messed up rela
Chapter 168 Angelo I think all my relationships are meant to fail or is it me who doesn't know how to love? Cleo had always been my anchor. Even though there have been times when we don't talk at all , times when we were at odds she's always been my biggest supporter and she's always been faithful to me . I have never given her any reason for her to doubt me and she's never died with me he's always trusted me and I've never done the same which is better my part because she expects the same from me and even though there have been times where I've showed it to her that I do trust her and that she is my one and only and My ride or die I just feel like lately every decision I've been making has been wrong.There's a reason why I don't want to make the first move where my other family is concerned and that's my mother's side of the family granted that I haven't spent time with my father and I want to make up for lost time and I need to do it in a way that benefits both me and my father a
Chapter 169CleoI don't believe that I went to school to go study how to crack secret I didn't go to school to study how to grade secrets however I went to school to learn how to uncover them and expose the truth I kinda like have Scorpio in my chart that the Scorpio in inPluto so yeah it's at the right place as much as I have bright side I do have a dark side too but I don't know what you call it when you are able to balance both your dark and bright side but I'm starting to believe that I can do that but sometimes the one or the other takes over and when that happens I just have to embrace and I go in order to achieve some sort of balance because if I hold onto something then it defeats the purpose of me feeling whatever I need to feel to go through whatever I need to go through and this time I don't think I'm going through anything that I can't handle that I can't handle.Yesterday I was suffering the after-effects of what I had done and I did it for a good reason first things fir
Chapter 170AngeloThere's been times when I've been mad my better half and there's been times when I don't know how to feel because I'm feeling everything and nothing at the same time I don't understand why she did what she did and it's not like he cheated on me but she did really made me look like I was incompetent and she doesn't see it that way he sees it as her trying to knock some sense into me because I'm busy protecting my other family it's my other family it's part of me I'm a combination of both gangs that happened to be enemies so why the hell should I be treating them any different more specifically my aunt who I know will strike at any given moment and at any given moment at my family, they say keep your friends close and your enemies closer and that's what I'm doing but she doesn't get that I'm trying to protect her.Yesterday evening when I tried to talk to her she had to work and I'm jus
Chapter 171 Cleo Angelo reads like a book and he is a practical guy. If something's wrong he usually finds the solution to the problem. He's not that emotional but he reads like a book so if he sees something wrong he is resolution-driven to fix it he must have seen something or he must have heard something for him to do what he did this morning because it's already evening and he's pulled the Radio silence card on me . When called the kids this evening to say goodnight to them and ask them how their day went they told me that the day went well and that they saw their father physically and they got to spend some time with him but he was behaving strangely and part of me knew that Michelangelo went to go see the kids and he saw the kids inebriated. I was angry at him for what he did I was angry at him for doing what he said that he would do which is go back to using alcohol to cope with feelings that he supposed to communicate to me about there's nothing wrong with our marriage it'
Chapter 172AngeloThere have been days when I filled it up and wished that I didn't wake up. Those were the days before I met my wife and even though she was my girlfriend why and he saved every part of me that seemed to be drowning in seas of darkness she's always been the one person that has always made sense. I sometimes feel like I don't deserve what I have and I always make a mess of things. I know that she loves me and I know that she would never keep stuff from me that is important I just had to go digging and I found what I was looking for without looking for it I should have just locked out of the work email and not open the email that was sent to her because she knows how to give me the news that I need good or bad gently.I had no business snooping. I know when I'm wrong and whichever way you look at it be it up down sideways in between or straight, fact of the matter is that I was wrong and I didn't want to
Chapter 173CleoIf there's one thing that my relationship with my husband told me was that I should always have everything in order and I should always be on high alert question everything that's been put on the table and don't take anyone's word as the honest truth because sometimes things don't look like they seem and sometimes you need to just step back take a break and then get back to how things used to be but in a different way what's a bit of zest .When I called my mother to tell her that I needed her to make sure that my kids were ready because we were flying out and if you wanted to come to her come to you but she respectfully declined and asked me if my head was in the right space for me to make such decisions because Michelangelo had come through to see the kids and he was in a sad state and when the kids asked what was wrong she had to tell them that their dad wasn't okay in the head but he will be better a