ONE- STETSON

Was I expected to ignore whatever was happening in front of me, only across the room? The perfectly shaped champagne flute wine glass in my hand felt heavy, the sparkling liquid in it tempted me and before I could account for it, I had downed more than four rounds. I wished I could ignore what was happening and turn the other way, act oblivious but I could feel the pitiful gazes of everyone in the room. They knew just like I did, and they pitied me.

I motioned for one of the waiters to refill my glass and continued to burn holes into my husband’s perfectly ironed suit. Only but a year and a half ago, I was the one that stood beside him with his arm around my waist with the attention of all in attendance on me. If I spent another second staring at my husband’s arm around another woman, the glass in my hand would have shattered. I took a deep breath, placed the glass on a tray carried by one of the workers and walked out of the huge hall.

I walked down the hallway until I found an empty room and plopped on the door. Every day and moment had become exhausting and I also failed to understand why I suffered through this misery. My fingers traced my scalp even though there was no itch, I was only irritated and filled with negative emotions.

Ashton and I had been okay. We were perfect and dubbed the perfect couple, but it all changed so drastically, so much that I still could not believe it. How could someone change so terribly with no remorse? I asked myself every day what it was I had done wrong, and what I had not done. Why would my husband seek warmth in the arms of another woman? Had I not been enough?

“Madam Stetson?” The door opened and I raised my body to look at the intruder. “Would you like anything?”

I scowled at the woman at the door in the white and black uniform of the workers in the hotel. She stood by the entrance, too timid to fully enter the room.

“If I needed something, I would have called for room service.”

Her already uncertain face crumbled into worry and fear and a part of me relished in it. Despite everything I had lost over the past three months, I could still make people squirm and I still had the Stetson name at the end of my name.

“I’m sorry ma’am…I thought I could be of assistance.”

I rolled my eyes and stood from the bed. “Assistance? How could a mere employer such as yourself help me?” I chuckled dryly and glared at her. “You’d be assisting me if you left right now if you got lost before you lost your job.”

I exhaled after the girl muttered ‘I’m sorry’ nervously before disappearing and closing the door behind her. I walked out of the huge glass doors that led to the balcony and breathed in the night air. I could not even relax despite how many times I would inhale and exhale. My life and everything I had invested in had gone to ruins and I had no clue how to fix it.

My hands clenched around the railings of the balcony and I looked down at the height of the building. It was busy just like any other night but it felt like the universe was mocking me for thinking I had gotten a happy ending. Ashton and I had gone through a lot together but this was more heartbreaking than anything.

A year and a half into our marriage, he decided to show me why everyone had persistently argued that I should not marry him after only eight months of knowing him. I had felt the wiser then.

I took a step away from the railing and sat down. So many memories of when it was “perfect” flooded my mind, tears rolled down my face and the influence of the wine started to kick in only making my emotions tenfold.

A sigh of irritation was released from me when I heard the door of the room open once more and footsteps approached the balcony. I scratched my left eyebrow and looked up.

“Can a girl not wallow in self-pity with no disturbances?”

Ridley chuckled and made himself comfortable next to me. “What kind of brother would I be if I did not relish in my brother’s fumbles.” He mused with a small smile.

“Go away Ridley, I have too much to worry about, a spiteful brother ready to sleep with his brother’s forgotten wife is not one of the problems I want to add to my worries.”  I closed my eyes, half expecting him to actually leave me alone to my thoughts.

“Oh Janelle,” He said in a sing-song manner. “Dorothy can’t be the reason you’re out here with liner rolling down her face like a terrible clown.” I glared at him and he raised his hands. “Don’t yell.”

“Ridley please,” I begged and his smile widened.

“I do not understand why you let my brother treat you like this…”

I sighed and rested my back in the seat and looked at him. “Ridley, I love your brother—”

“Probably the only person that does.” He intercepted and I tossed him another nasty glare to shut him up.

“He’s just confused and soon he will realise that Dorothy is a bitch that only wants him for his position.” I voiced out, trying to sound as confident as I could. Ridley laughed and stood up.

“Continue lying to yourself sister-in-law and before you know it, you’ll be signing divorce papers—”

“Rid—”

He raised a finger in the air to shut me up. “You know it and so does the entire world, my brother has tossed you out like an old flavour of ice cream and soon he’ll do it officially. Stop being pathetic, unlike you, my brother has people on his end, you were only a mere clerk in his company.”

His words hurt more than I would have liked to admit because they carried weight, a very true weight. Before Ashton, I was also a mere employee, but somehow, we stumbled upon each other and it felt like I was a Disney princess, like I was living through the cast of a romantic movie with a happy ending except I did not get my happy ending.

I could feel more tears building up and I looked down. Ridley was right, I had no one. I had no family and I had grown distant from the only people I considered my friends all because I thought I had it all and nothing could go wrong.

More tears escaped my eyes after Ridley walked out of the room and I heard the door close. I learnt the hard way that nothing was ever fully secure, I had thought I was living a life possible only in fairytales but I realised why fairytales were exactly that, tales of fiction.

I do not know how much time I spent on that balcony but I remember picking my shattered self and heading to the inside, seeking the warmth and comfortability of the bed after suffering through the harsh night weather.

When I woke up the next morning, I found myself in the huge room back at home that Ashton and I once used jointly. I felt even more terrible than I felt the night before and my head pounded against my skull. My hands went up to my temples and I groaned just as the door opened and Florence, the head maid walked in.

“Good morning, ma’am.” She greeted me professionally while her gaze judged my state. “The younger Stetson told me to bring you some painkillers and water when you wake up.”

“Ridley is here?” I asked with half-open eyes and scrunched eyebrows.

“No, but he did bring you here last night in your stupor.” She responded and set a cup of water and medicine by the bedside.

That sounded right, Ridley hated being anywhere near Ashton’s house. I was grateful that he took the time to take me from the hotel and back home. I took the painkillers and gulped down the entire cup of water.

“Is Ashton downstairs?” I asked her after drinking the water and feeling less disoriented.

Florence looked at me sadly before answering. “Just like every morning madam, Mr. Ashton is not here.”

My fists clenched at my sides, every single morning I asked her if Ashton was here and having breakfast downstairs like he used to do before. I still could not get my mind to accept that so much had changed over the last few months with no warning.

“Thank you, Florence,” I said with the little energy I could muster and stood from the bed.

“It’s my job madam. On that note, what would you prefer for breakfast?”

I shook my head and wore my slippers. “It’s okay Florence. I’ll have my breakfast out.” I grabbed my towel and went to the bathroom. I had this huge entire house to myself but the one I was supposed to enjoy it with had barely even stepped through the door for a month or more.

After showering and dressing up, I got into one of the cars and made my way to Stetson Hotel. I had to talk with “my husband”. It was starting to feel like I was wedded alone and made the vows to myself. There was only so much neglect I could take without breaking. Everyone around me saw me as nothing but a joke and someone to pity, and worse off my own husband was the cause of this.

The Stetsons had made a name for themselves with multiple hotels within the city and many more branches around the country. The amount of wealth was enough to get the two Stetson sons media recognition. When I started dating Ashton despite his notorious reputation, I believed so much that he had changed, Ridley was the brother who came off as spoilt and stupid to me but after the last few months, I realised that they were both the same…immature and heartless.

I made my way to the fifth floor of the Stetson Hotel headquarters which had all the offices for the board members, including Ashton. Everything was as I remembered from a year before when I was an employee except for a few modifications and new décor. I went straight to Ashton’s office which was at the end of the hallway. I knocked on the door and entered after hearing a muffled ‘come in’.

“Janelle?” He looked shocked when he looked up from his computer screen. I took a moment to take in the sight of him, something that I loved so much even now as he treated me like the worst scum at the bottom of his shoes.

“What are you doing here?”

I moved closer to his desk. “I came to see you,” I replied softly.

Ashton exhaled and removed the round-framed spectacles that sat on his slightly crooked nose. My eyes wandered to his hands on the desk, his hands were still as veiny and manly as I remember but the watch, I had gifted him at the beginning of the was missing from his wrist. I sighed, reality hit me in the face quite harshly once more.

“I’m busy, you can’t just come here as you please.” He looked at me with a dead look, as though the entire sight of me bore him. “What do you need? Jewellery? A new dress?” He continued and ignored the hurt look I gave him.

“Is that all you think I need from you?” I could feel my tears forming and my throat growing tighter. “I need my husband, you haven’t been home in a long time. Do you expect me to keep quiet as you parade around with Dorothy by your arm?”

Ashton groaned and leaned back into his swivel chair. “You came all the way here for this Janelle? I’m too busy to be having this conversation with you right now, I have work.”

I scoffed and crossed my arms despite wanting to fall to the floor in a ball and cry a mess. “Every time I wish to speak with you, you’re busy Ashton. Should I just sit and act like my marriage isn’t falling apart because of another woman?”

“Dorothy isn’t another woman Janelle.” He interjected and I gave him the most dumbfounded and hurt look. He could defend Dorothy but not our marriage.

I laughed incredulously at him. “You can defend Dorothy but not your wife’s honour when everyone is looking at her with pity and disdain?”

“No one is looking at you like that,” He replied in a way that made it seem like I was blowing the situation out of proportion.

“Ashton, You’ve been moving around with her in the public eye as though I don’t exist. Everyone knows it at this point. Why don’t you just tell me that you’re bored of me?”

Ashton stood up, walked around the desk and stood in front of me. “What do you want me to say, Janelle? Hm?” He arched up an eyebrow. “Firstly, you can’t just come to my workplace ready to argue like a little high school girl. I’m very busy and have things to tend to you other than your childishness.”

My heart crumpled in my chest because of the pain his words were causing me and my throat felt even tighter and my eyes were hot with tears.

“Secondly, what I have going on with Dorothy is none of your concern. You should be glad that I have not chased you from my house.” He added and snickered when he saw my tears.

“Go back home.”

“Ashton—”

He raised a hand and picked up his phone and a file from his desk before walking out of the room. I stared at the open door in hurt and dumbfounded awe. Is this how drastically people changed within a few months? To me, it seemed abnormal and I was almost certain that Dorothy had put someone else in place of my Ashton and the real Ashton was hurt and scared somewhere waiting for me to find him. But that was just the delusions that kept me around, hoping that he would realise that I loved him truly.

“Janelle?”

I looked up and met Ridley’s green eyes staring at me questioningly before it turned into worry. “What are you doing here? Where’s Ashton?”

Without a second thought, I wrapped my arms around him and sobbed like an emotional “high school” girl. After a short while, Ridley unwrapped my arms from him and stared at my face with concern.

“What did that ass do now?” He asked and I shook my head. Ridley was just as terrible as Ashton, getting him involved in my personal matters would not solve anything and he would only have another reason to ridicule his older brother.

“It’s okay, thanks…I’m sorry.” I muttered and wiped my cheeks with my hands before rushing out of the office.