"Psst, Jae?"
Minjae whispered playfully poking his sides to get his attention again. What actually happened was that Hyun had called Minjae up, catching up with her after at least four days. He was the only one who knew about her going to Paris before hand and that Young-Jae's blood boiling.
"Jae!", she called for him again but this time more sternly or she tried to but Young-Jae crossed his arms over his chest with a huff of frustration. Minjae whined in desperation and threw herself over his lap, he wanted to smile at her clingy behaviour but he held himself back somehow.
"He just called up because he's been away for so long! Can't he check up on his friend?", Young-Jae's eyes shot back to her and she cowered under his angry gaze, immediat
Sometimes I wonder what's the point of this, everything after her but then I see you smile, listen to your laughter and let u kiss me. That's when, for a brief moment, I see. I see the point. - "No, YOU don't get it, Jess! There's nothing you didn't have in life but all of this hate in your heart made you lose it!", Young-Jae had never seen Minjae as vulnerable as she was right now and as much as he was insecure about Hyun he knew that she certainly didn't take anything from Jess. "You had a functional family which loved you, an amazing man who was head over heels for you, and most of all you didn't have to go around taking loans at the age of sixteen to pay your fucking bills," her chest heaved up and down vigorously while Young-Jae and Jess could only watch her pour everything out in silence. He was just
Soon they were both sat in the back seat of her car with Si-Hyuk driving and Minjae had Young-Jae's head rested in her lap as she massaged his head to ease the ache. Young-Jae closed his eyes in bliss, the butterflies in his stomach were undying and he couldn't wish for anything more in that moment. She moved to massage his scalp instead, happily smiling when Young-Jae's cheeks liften in a satisfactory grin.There was nothing that connected them to each other except their hearts, their feelings and most of the time that was not enough. That was not enough for most people but these two had made sure that it was enough."My hand slips through the cracks of the vases and windows we painted together with stolen glances and carefree smiles like quicksand. The fleeting moment of wanting you back is over before it started and the deep rumbling in my chest is back. I can't tell if I've swallowed you whole or if yo
Music had always been a way of reaching out for Young-Jae. His love for the girl, Minjae and the gratefullness that he had in his heart could not have been conveyed better than this. A dozen songs, written, produced, composed and all sung by Min Young-Jae himself. Minjae had to physically shake her head to check if she was hearing things correctly. Young-Jae had made her a mixtape with his own songs and sneaked it into the player as a birthday gift for her."Being in love as an artist is so defeating, so deafening and so beautiful at the same time. My muse is in my head, in my bed, everywhere. In my clothes their scent stays and the walls of my house cave in with the echo of his voice. It's like a noose around the neck that's pulled tighter I write about her. Without even trying, everything I write is about her. Everything I imagine becomes with her, for her or she herself. She would call me crazy if she read all of it but in my mad
"How in the world did I find someone as precious as you?""God made you so beautiful, It's a pleasure to be able to h-""Too cheesy," Minjae interrupted with a click of her tongue and Young-Jae hummed with a frown, deep in thought. Both of them were helping Joon prepare a wedding vow while she painted Young-Jae's nails the same as her; pastel pink. "Try something else.""Why is it too cheesy?", he asked tilting his head to the side and she looked up at him while blowing air onto his nails. Minjae closed the bottle and kept it aside before combing his hair gently. "It is cheesy darling, he's not the type to say such things in front of everyone," she mumbled while Joon just stood there with a scowl. Did she completely forget he w
People say they want their lovers or more precisely, their loved ones to never hurt but I wish she does. I wish that the ache I have in my chest bounces of hers and we both feel the same way so she knows it's time to come home. Birds do fly miles but their nest is still their home. - "What are we doing for your bachelor's?", Minjae teased bumping her shoulder against Joon's. He blushed pressing his lips together in a shy smile and chuckled. "Kim told me there were some really nice bars around Daegu and he already had his bachelor's back in Seoul so it'll just be you, me, Young-Jae, and Hyun. I hope that won't make Young-Jae uncomfortable," he whispered the last part since the boy was just a few feet away, struggling with his shirt buttons in their room. "I don't know,
"To the boy who claimed he fell in love with me, I beg you not to burn yourself in a pit fire against him. He is to me, what I am to you. However, my love for him is free, unlike yours. You hold me down, tug me back and scream from the depths of your chest that I'm yours. You only know how to love me when I'm not loving somebody else and I know how to love him even if he's buried into another. I love him without any boundaries. I don't scream for everybody to know he belongs with me, but they all know. Somehow, they will always know. He is to me, what I am to you. Please don't burn yourself in a pit against him, one cannot precede him. To define is to limit, and there are no limitations to him."  
"My December doesn't feel the same without, come take me back. When was it when I saw you last? The last month? The beginning of December? Will I ever see you again? And if I do, will you be the same? Will you be just as forgiving? Just as sweet, honey dripping from your lips like you've spoken an octave higher? What is it that will change about you? Would you let me love it? Would you let me love you, still? Would you let me love you more than I do now? Would you let me love you more than she ever did? Would you let me love you as much as I wish I could? Would you let me in?" -
"What does beautiful really mean? Is it your mother's smile when she cards her fingers through your locks the real meaning of love? Is it the little boy's grabby hands reaching for his toy? Is it your lover's lips quivering as they say the vows? Is it the dark you find yourself in every now and then? What is it? What is the real meaning of beauty? Is it different for you than it is for me? Is beauty just unwavering, unabashed laughter? Is it just the tears Falling from your own eyes? What is the real meaning of beauty? Is it what we can see or is it all we do not want to see?" -
//If someone was to ask me why I write so much about you, or about love in general I would have no answer. What must I say? That you consume all over? Or does my love for you do that? How do I tell them that I had been so far banished from intimacy in all stages of my life that the mere sight of it feels like an opportunity to be grabbed? How do I tell a stranger that there is so much pain, so much suffering I've witnessed, been a part of, that I can't let out of my chest? It's like a dragon, chased and locked up in a cage so small it has compressed itself. How do I tell them that if I were to twist the cage's lock open, I'm afraid I'll never be able to close it again? That it'll chase away all that is left of me? All that I want to have and to be? I wonder if you'd be able to look past it, look past the green moss over my mind, past the rusting on my heart and finally see what I've been hiding? The little boy that had been far too afraid of what they said was 'love'.&nb
"Sometimes I wonder what's the point of this, everything after her but then I see you smile, listen to your laughter and let u kiss me. That's when, for a brief moment, I see. I see the point.The rain settles deep into my bones, I ache for things I do not know, things I did not know I could want. The door to my studio is open, you sit with your laptop spread out in front of you and I stare. I stare and find meaning in life once again. How much longer do I have to pretend that I do not love her?""Oh god Young Jae, all of this is so beautiful," She huffed a little. "You need to put it out in the world. I had no idea of the extent of pain you were going through. I just- God, I am so sorry.""You know, Noona, People say they want their lovers or more precisely, their loved ones to never hurt but when you were in Paris I used to wish that you did. I wished that the ache I have in my chest bounced off yours a
"I drive past that empty house sometimes, I wonder if I'll ever see you again. If you'll ever see me again. The lump in my throat is enough for me to turn around but I wish you'd see me somewhere and be brave enough to call out my name. The goodbye I didn't get to say lays crumpled up in a letter and in the texts I haven't sent to you. The agony of knowing you lay in someone's arms like you did in mine, is enough for me to have blinked my eyes clear of this fog. But oh god, my pens bleed onto paper, my thumbs bruise up against the keyboard. You are everything I write and i have become the ink that bleeds. No matter how much I struggle, even breaking through my shell, I leak all over the paper, still bleeding. And when the paper is flipped, the ink spots prettier than words ever could. They ask you to wipe me down but you too, are helpless as you gesture vaguely with your
The post wedding dinner was fun to say the least.The table was occupied by all the important people in their lives and a few acquaintainces were on the other table to their right. The couple sat next to each other, Minjae's hand clasped tightly in Young Jae's as if she could run away at ay given moment. Joon had wanted to make a joke about it but resorted to staying quiet for once.Hyun was sitting directly opposite to Young Jae on the circular table, poking around with this tteotbokki like it was as tasteless as it could get. Kim watched him lose focus a couple of times and frowned at the plate of food in front of him. Tteotbokki was his favourite, every single person around him knew that. What had caused this gloomy atmosphere over his head? Hyun seemed like he had come to terms with this reality a few weeks ago.Why the long face now?"Are you sure you are okay, Hyun? You have barely to
That’s how their dinner went, the two of them talking to one another with no shame, no filters, just complete utter love between them, and when it was time for dessert, Minjae got up and pulled a cake trolly in. It wasn’t until she poured him yet another glass of wine that he grew suspicious of her. Was she okay? Was she hiding something?“Hey Young-Jae, don’t mind but I would like it if you stay quiet for another ten minutes, kay? I need to get this done,” he hesitantly nodded, settling the glass back on the table and leaned back in his seat. “Ugh, oh my god, I’ve never been more nervous.”“Just say it-“ “Shut up.”He pursed his lips together, squinting his eyes at her th
“Fucking hell Min, you drive me crazy,” she moaned, hips dragging up against his crotch. Young-Jae shrugged tilting his head to the side with his tongue poking his cheek and the new surge of confidence had her knees weak. Does he have a glow up every week?Was that even possible?“Do I now? Why don’t show me how crazy at home?”, he teased cocking his head to signify that they were almost home. Her heartbeat shot up and for the first time, the infamously confident Minjae felt nervous. She felt as if Young-Jae was too attractive to be hers but now that he was, Jae couldn’t give him up for the world. So, with a nod and a gulp, they were tangled together on their bed.
"It's a weird thing isn't it? To touch someone and feel like you're on fire when it's your fingertips that are freezing cold. They shiver on their own as I run them down your neck, your collarbones, the dip between and you huff, half at how agonizingly slow the touch is and half at how incredibly it affects you, makes you fall apart without realisation. It is all so elevating, the hair at the nape of your neck stand, my skin ripples in goosebumps and yours follows the effect. There is a fingertip, cold, nimble and long in the middle of my back. It splays up and runs down till I shiver, back arching into you and I part my mouth from yours in a whimper. It really is weird, isn't it? I break for you, shatter and turn over inside my body all because I get to touch you and most importantly, I get to be touched by
"It's been years since I lost you. The years, the months, the days stay the same. Your birthday is always a warm day and I smile to myself the whole day. My birthday is always a cold day, you must've forgotten it but I remember every smile you gave me years back. The only thing that has changed is, that time seems to have slowed down. The days are lengthy, the nights are lengthy. I am either too warm or too cold, there is nothing intimate about it but it's been years since I lost you. Every January reminds me of all we could not be, every December reminds me of your insolent smiles and every September reminds me of all the suffering I have escaped.Your scent tucks me into bed, not only is it on my skin, it is in the air; lingering, breathing and settling deep inside me. It is November, I'm warm under the blanket
The hard ridges of your body press against the softness of mine. It's a different feeling, skin to skin and it's a different feeling to get lost in it. Your hair's grown out, I feel it under my fingertips and it barely stays in the gap of my fingers but as usual, everything looks lovely on you. However, the thing that looks exceptionally lovely on you is me.“Hey babe?”, he asked turning his head up to look at the beautiful girl who had him tight in his arms. She hummed with closed eyes and Young-Jae wrapped his leg over her waist with his arm around her shoulders, latching on like a Koala. Minjae chuckled again and picked his head up to drop a soft kiss to his forehead.“How much do you love me?”, he asked softly, snuggling against her shoulder till his lips over almost touching her jaw. “Wait, no, don’t