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chapter thirteen
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2024-10-29 19:42:56My December doesn't feel the same without, come take me back. When was it when I saw you last? The last month? The beginning of December? Will I ever see you again? And if I do, will you be the same? Will you be just as forgiving? Just as sweet, honey dripping from your lips like you've spoken an octave higher?
What is it that will change about you? Would you let me love it? Would you let me love you, still? Would you let me love you more than I do now? Would you let me love you more than she ever did? Would you let me love you as much as I wish I could? Would you let me in?
Young-Jae?", she hurried to him, followed by Kim who was previously pestering her to climb up the stairs and change into the dress he just bought for her, knowing damn well she would try to act professional and end up wearing the same clothes she wears every day.
"You sho
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N-Noona, I'm worried. Please don't cry, just tell me what happened," Minjae shook her head but Young-Jae couldn't see it so she pulled away and wiped the few tears that had rolled onto her cheek. The boy smiled a smile so reassuring that Minjae couldn't help but smile back."You're gorgeous dolled up or not, in a dress or in a pantsuit. You're always gorgeous," she threw her head back in a happy fashion and Young-Jae immediately realized just how easy she was to figure out even with her cold and rude frontier. He couldn't believe that a woman so strong and beautiful had tears in her eyes because her best friend didn't compliment her."By the way, Joon's been staring at us for quite some while. I think he wants a dance with the lady of the night," Young-Jae teased but Minjae's smile dropped and she hmphed, looking away in the most stubborn way ever."Ah I see
ENIGMA chapter fifteen
My hand slips through the cracks of the vases and windows we painted together with stolen glances and carefree smiles like quicksand. The fleeting moment of wanting you back is over before it started and the deep rumbling in my chest is back. I can't tell if I've swallowed you whole or if you've left yourself behind to merge with what's left of me. Whatever way it happened, I am now you and you are now nobody but a empty vessel, a Mirage of my desires in another billion. - "Did you like the party? I mean, were you satisfied with the work I did?", the boy was nervous in anticipation of the answer and there was no fucking way he had left something undone or unsatisfactory. Min Young-Jae wanted to be a perfectionist for a perfectionist like Minjae. "Honestly? You did an amazing job and I hope to see the same level of work done in the coming events," her professional tone slipped ou
ENIGMA chapter sixteen
Minjae's 'until next time' wasn't until the two weeks that followed it. Those fourteen days were the most boring ones out of his life with him not being able to even see her face for once. She wouldn't visit the shop anymore, not even Joon would show up. It was just Young-Jae and Jin working side by side eight hours a day.He would go straight home and then back to work, sometimes streaming on the webcam, sometimes just straight up passing out on his bed. The worst part of it all was that he didn't even have her number neither did he know the address of her office. On the seventh day, Young-Jae was bored out of his brain at the coffee shop when he received the text from 'Jaeminmin'.He had replied instantly which had further led to them having small conversations which turned into more friendly conversations and here he was, chatting away with her with his elbows rested on the counter in front o
ENIGMA chapter seventeen
Being in love as an artist is so defeating, so deafening and so beautiful at the same time. My muse is in my head, in my bed, everywhere. In my clothes their scent stays and the walls of my house cave in with the echo of his voice. It's like a noose around the neck that's pulled tighter I write about him. Without even trying, everything I write is about him. Everything I imagine becomes with him, for him or he himself. He'd call me crazy if he read all of it but in my madness, only he resides. So, who really is crazy here? The one that writes or the one that makes? - "I c-can't Jae, I can't. I tore him apart, I wouldn't even be able to look him in the eye. I'm already enough ashamed right now," Jess' eyes were trained on their feet as her hand stayed intertwined with Minjae's. "I'm so sorry I ran away. I just couldn't do it anymore." "All that matter
ENIGMA chapter eighteen
Young-Jae's head was on Minjae's arm, his arms were tightened around her waist with his nose tickling her neck softly. He was fast asleep, relaxed, and exhausted both while she stared at the ceiling wide awake silently sniffling to herself to avoid waking him up. She turned her gaze to him with a small sigh and laid on her side. "Young-Jae," she whispered to herself liking the way his name sounded on her tongue. It suited him just perfectly, a pretty name for a pretty boy like himself. Her fingers rubbed along his pouty bottom lip that was chapped up and his eyebrows clashed together in his sleep. She suppressed a giggle and reached behind, on his nightstand to pull her chapstick out of her blazer's pocket. She held the back of his neck and tilted his head up to coat his lips in the mildly coloured balm. He sleepily smacked his lips together before a
ENIGMA chapter nineteen
The last time someone held me close and tight, it was him. It was him in his checkered shirt and blue jeans. It was him in his growing hair and shiny eyes. He held me so tight, bones crushing mine and i was afraid to tell him it hurt as much as I loved it. The intimacy of our silence, only faintly accompanied by the puffs of air we let out against each other's skin, would've been like water rippled by a skipping stone. Was it not him stepping away, I would've wept, shaken and screamed in agony that would've drenched his shirt and made his brows crease in the most familiar way ever. - "W-What do you mean by that?", he knew exactly what she meant but he just couldn't accept it, not when he was completely whipped for her. Minjae licked her lips nervously and tried explaining it to him again. "It means I want you to be my sugar baby," he stayed silent after that and clenched his jaw
ENIGMA chapter twenty
"We're actually fuck buddies as of now, he stumbled into my apartment by mistake one day, and then bam, the two of us were drunk and naked," Jess giggled softly and rubbed her flushed cheeks with the back of her fingers. "Oh! you've met him too! Remember the guy who was with me that day we met?" she asked, excitedly grabbing Minjae's hands. "O-Oh? That's good to know, he's cute," she smiled painfully stretching her lips up in a curve. "Fuck cute, he's amazing in bed," she whispered and hid her face behind her palm. "Mhm, I know about that alright," she mumbled under her breath, bitterly giggling along with her through her gritted teeth. "He's not very well off though," she commented, scrunching her nose up in disapproval and Minjae almost scoffed right in her face. "I mean he's amazing for
ENIGMA chapter twenty one
I would've let him touch me, gentle and cherished like i want to be. I would've closed my eyes and let his hands find way into my hair. I would've, I would've, i would've told him I loved him right there and then. I would've, could've done so much I couldn't for this heart is a bearer, it will bear you stepping in and it will bear you leaving. It is you, afterall. So instead, when you moved to let me breathe, I blinked and hid it with a smile. - Enigma. The word rolled around in her head like a bullet through the glass and it shattered completely when her eyes open. She fixates his pupils onto the fan in the center of the hotel ceiling and sighed in exhaustion. Minjae wondered how he ended up where she was despite all the want not to be. A weird dull ache is present in her chest and it only gr
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ENIGMA chapter forty three
//If someone was to ask me why I write so much about you, or about love in general I would have no answer. What must I say? That you consume all over? Or does my love for you do that? How do I tell them that I had been so far banished from intimacy in all stages of my life that the mere sight of it feels like an opportunity to be grabbed? How do I tell a stranger that there is so much pain, so much suffering I've witnessed, been a part of, that I can't let out of my chest? It's like a dragon, chased and locked up in a cage so small it has compressed itself. How do I tell them that if I were to twist the cage's lock open, I'm afraid I'll never be able to close it again? That it'll chase away all that is left of me? All that I want to have and to be? I wonder if you'd be able to look past it, look past the green moss over my mind, past the rusting on my heart and finally see what I've been hiding? The little boy that had been far too afraid of what they said was 'love'.&nb
ENIGMA chapter forty two
"Sometimes I wonder what's the point of this, everything after her but then I see you smile, listen to your laughter and let u kiss me. That's when, for a brief moment, I see. I see the point.The rain settles deep into my bones, I ache for things I do not know, things I did not know I could want. The door to my studio is open, you sit with your laptop spread out in front of you and I stare. I stare and find meaning in life once again. How much longer do I have to pretend that I do not love her?""Oh god Young Jae, all of this is so beautiful," She huffed a little. "You need to put it out in the world. I had no idea of the extent of pain you were going through. I just- God, I am so sorry.""You know, Noona, People say they want their lovers or more precisely, their loved ones to never hurt but when you were in Paris I used to wish that you did. I wished that the ache I have in my chest bounced off yours a
ENIGMA chapter forty one
"I drive past that empty house sometimes, I wonder if I'll ever see you again. If you'll ever see me again. The lump in my throat is enough for me to turn around but I wish you'd see me somewhere and be brave enough to call out my name. The goodbye I didn't get to say lays crumpled up in a letter and in the texts I haven't sent to you. The agony of knowing you lay in someone's arms like you did in mine, is enough for me to have blinked my eyes clear of this fog. But oh god, my pens bleed onto paper, my thumbs bruise up against the keyboard. You are everything I write and i have become the ink that bleeds. No matter how much I struggle, even breaking through my shell, I leak all over the paper, still bleeding. And when the paper is flipped, the ink spots prettier than words ever could. They ask you to wipe me down but you too, are helpless as you gesture vaguely with your
ENIGMA chapter forty
The post wedding dinner was fun to say the least.The table was occupied by all the important people in their lives and a few acquaintainces were on the other table to their right. The couple sat next to each other, Minjae's hand clasped tightly in Young Jae's as if she could run away at ay given moment. Joon had wanted to make a joke about it but resorted to staying quiet for once.Hyun was sitting directly opposite to Young Jae on the circular table, poking around with this tteotbokki like it was as tasteless as it could get. Kim watched him lose focus a couple of times and frowned at the plate of food in front of him. Tteotbokki was his favourite, every single person around him knew that. What had caused this gloomy atmosphere over his head? Hyun seemed like he had come to terms with this reality a few weeks ago.Why the long face now?"Are you sure you are okay, Hyun? You have barely to
ENIGMA chapter thirty nine
That’s how their dinner went, the two of them talking to one another with no shame, no filters, just complete utter love between them, and when it was time for dessert, Minjae got up and pulled a cake trolly in. It wasn’t until she poured him yet another glass of wine that he grew suspicious of her. Was she okay? Was she hiding something?“Hey Young-Jae, don’t mind but I would like it if you stay quiet for another ten minutes, kay? I need to get this done,” he hesitantly nodded, settling the glass back on the table and leaned back in his seat. “Ugh, oh my god, I’ve never been more nervous.”“Just say it-“ “Shut up.”He pursed his lips together, squinting his eyes at her th
ENIGMA chapter thirty eight
“Fucking hell Min, you drive me crazy,” she moaned, hips dragging up against his crotch. Young-Jae shrugged tilting his head to the side with his tongue poking his cheek and the new surge of confidence had her knees weak. Does he have a glow up every week?Was that even possible?“Do I now? Why don’t show me how crazy at home?”, he teased cocking his head to signify that they were almost home. Her heartbeat shot up and for the first time, the infamously confident Minjae felt nervous. She felt as if Young-Jae was too attractive to be hers but now that he was, Jae couldn’t give him up for the world. So, with a nod and a gulp, they were tangled together on their bed.
ENIGMA chapter thirty seven
"It's a weird thing isn't it? To touch someone and feel like you're on fire when it's your fingertips that are freezing cold. They shiver on their own as I run them down your neck, your collarbones, the dip between and you huff, half at how agonizingly slow the touch is and half at how incredibly it affects you, makes you fall apart without realisation. It is all so elevating, the hair at the nape of your neck stand, my skin ripples in goosebumps and yours follows the effect. There is a fingertip, cold, nimble and long in the middle of my back. It splays up and runs down till I shiver, back arching into you and I part my mouth from yours in a whimper. It really is weird, isn't it? I break for you, shatter and turn over inside my body all because I get to touch you and most importantly, I get to be touched by
ENIGMA chapter thirty six
"It's been years since I lost you. The years, the months, the days stay the same. Your birthday is always a warm day and I smile to myself the whole day. My birthday is always a cold day, you must've forgotten it but I remember every smile you gave me years back. The only thing that has changed is, that time seems to have slowed down. The days are lengthy, the nights are lengthy. I am either too warm or too cold, there is nothing intimate about it but it's been years since I lost you. Every January reminds me of all we could not be, every December reminds me of your insolent smiles and every September reminds me of all the suffering I have escaped.Your scent tucks me into bed, not only is it on my skin, it is in the air; lingering, breathing and settling deep inside me. It is November, I'm warm under the blanket
ENIGMA chapter thirty five
The hard ridges of your body press against the softness of mine. It's a different feeling, skin to skin and it's a different feeling to get lost in it. Your hair's grown out, I feel it under my fingertips and it barely stays in the gap of my fingers but as usual, everything looks lovely on you. However, the thing that looks exceptionally lovely on you is me.“Hey babe?”, he asked turning his head up to look at the beautiful girl who had him tight in his arms. She hummed with closed eyes and Young-Jae wrapped his leg over her waist with his arm around her shoulders, latching on like a Koala. Minjae chuckled again and picked his head up to drop a soft kiss to his forehead.“How much do you love me?”, he asked softly, snuggling against her shoulder till his lips over almost touching her jaw. “Wait, no, don’t
