"I can't breathe!" I screamed, taking deep breaths of air in desperation because they were stuck in my throat and wouldn't reach my lungs. "Anaís, look at me." Logan's voice sounded more demanding this time. I obeyed him, meeting those grey eyes. "You're okay; you're having a panic attack. You're going to be okay." "I'm going to die," I murmured, terrified. "You're not going to die; try to control your breathing." "I can't breathe." I grabbed my chest tightly. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I can't feel my limbs. I can't breathe. Soon my heart will stop; I'll have respiratory arrest. These thoughts kept running through my mind, terrifying me. "You're hyperventilating; you're not going to die," Logan assured me, holding my face carefully. "This is going to pass; you're going to be okay." Lie. Lie. He lies. You're going to die. The security in his beautiful eyes calmed me a little, but it wasn't enough to stop the repetitive thoughts that had me shaking with fear. I'm get
Too much… What Logan was making me feel was too much; that electrifying feeling that ran through my body was so unfamiliar. It had been so long since I had felt something like that—something so good, so positive. My senses were overwhelmed; his lips moved firmly over mine, claiming and giving at the same time. His kiss was not only possessive; it was filled with so many emotions. Had he felt all this for me all this time? The desperation in his kiss weakened my legs, making them weak and trembling. Wet lips, quickened breathing, hands on my face—caressing, holding, as if he knew how emotionally fragile I was. Someone loves me; someone is attracted to me. Those thoughts brought tears to my eyes. I didn't know why, but it meant so much to me that someone cared. I wrapped my hands around Logan's neck, pulling him closer to me. We weren't close enough; maybe we would never be, but I would try. His thumbs caressed my wet cheeks, and he gave me one last short kiss before he pul
Entering the café, I began to find a table while Lyra and Yang-zi went to get the hot chocolate. I sat down, resting my chin on the palms of my hands. My eyes wandered over to the food section, and I was surprised to see a very familiar face there. His green eyes met mine, and I realized how much I missed him. Xander said something to the person next to him and walked over to me. He was wearing his cafeteria uniform and a chef-like hat. "Hey, weirdo," he said to me when he got to the table. He looked very nice in that outfit. "Hi, what a nice surprise." "Yes, I have a new job to entertain myself. My psychologist calls it shock therapy—exposing me to my fears." He paused for a moment. "You know, there are a lot of germs and contact in the kitchen." "Oh, I didn't know there was such therapy." Xander shrugged. "Me neither. Let's hope it works out." His eyes fell on the bracelet around my wrist. "I see you liked my gift." I ran my fingers over the bracelet, remembering how I
Where are you? - Dr. Newman's soft voice rang in circles in my mind. The hypnosis session had started some time ago; I couldn't remember how long. After I took a pill, the doctor had done a series of relaxation exercises.I felt confused, as if I were between asleep and awake, but the doctor had explained to me that that was the goal: to put me in a state of relaxation so deep that we could access my subconscious.-You're very relaxed, you're safe. - He enunciated each word slowly, the sound of his voice seeming so far away. -Don't think about anything, just imagine white around you, emptiness.-White... empty... - I murmured.-Now I want you to think about something in a positive way, he began. You are going to remember the beautiful house in the mountains that your father bought. Did you like that house?Yeah.-How was it?Very big, with stairs and wooden floors, - I smiled, - What I liked most were its big windows.You liked it a lot; now I want you to go to that house. I'm here wi
My footsteps echoed down the long hallway on the second floor. I was already feeling comfortable walking through, having come from Dr. Newman's office. This floor looked a lot like the first and definitely not creepy like the third. There were patients walking around freely, but there were also some closed doors like on the third floor. I assumed there were more stable patients than others. After passing by a skinny girl with greasy hair who was whispering to the walls, I looked up and stopped dead. Mason. I stopped breathing as I watched him walk in my direction. No straitjacket, no restraints. I'd never seen him standing, and I was struck by how ridiculously tall he was. He was thin but not skeletal, and his black hair still looked messy, as if he ran his hands through it constantly. The difference in the color of his eyes always surprised me. His face, however, made me frown. He had a large bruise under his left eye, and his lower lip was split. What happened? I remembered
He started walking down the hall. I swear I could imagine the huge smile on his face at that moment. "Let me go!" I screamed, only able to see the ground and the back of his feet. "No." "Logan!" I screamed, frustrated. "Yes?" he asked in a mocking tone. "Let me go! I have something very important to do! Jasmine me—" "Blah," he cut me off. "Blah, blah." "You are so immature." "I know." He wasn't even going to deny it? My God, he was arrogant. "Let me go! I swear if you don't put me down, I'm going to..." I threatened, trying to sound serious. "You're going to what?" he joked, chuckling. "I'm going to do something really bad to..." My voice trailed off as I looked at his very shapely ass. I had never noticed that before. Logan had a really nice ass. Logan continued walking as if nothing was happening. "Did I weigh nothing? He doesn't even look tired." "Logan, if you don't put me down, I'm going to scream so loud your ears will bleed." "Really?" I could hear t
Logan's words echoed in my head. I could get lost in those deep, gray eyes. I couldn't believe he thought I was strong; I'd never thought of myself as a strong person. Logan stroked my cheek gently, using his thumb to wipe away my tears. "Don't cry," he whispered, his voice sounding so soft. "I don't like to see you cry, Anaís." I... I just didn't finish my sentence; my voice was weak. "Shhh." He pulled me towards him and hugged me. I buried my face in the crook of his neck and shoulder. Instantly, his scent calmed me. I felt safe and protected in his arms. Even I didn't know why I was crying. No one had ever understood me the way Logan did. His story was so sad, and I knew he had probably dealt with a lot of pain, a lot of guilt like I had. His voice soothed me. "Everything will get better, Anaís. I know it feels like this pain is going to last forever and that you'll never be able to be completely happy, but you will be, I promise." He kissed my hair. I don't know how
A steaming cup of chocolate appeared in front of me. I turned slightly to look at Logan, who gave me a closed-mouthed smile. "What were you thinking?" "In a dangerous and unstable patient..." "Nothing." We sat and talked for hours about the most trivial things in the world, and it felt so good. I felt normal, without worries, without fears. I allowed myself to forget everything that had happened, the pain, the sadness. I wasn't the patient with all those depressing diagnoses; I was just a girl, having a pleasant conversation with the boy she liked. It was already past midnight when I began to feel sleepy. The two of us were facing each other, with our sides against the sofa, our heads resting on it. The intensity of Logan's gaze left me breathless. "Are you sleepy?" I nodded, yawning. "Just a little." "Okay." "Do you really not remember anything about that night?" I tensed up a little, forgetting that he had read my file. "Not much." "You don't remember anything ab
The next day, when she came down the stairs and her gaze was on us decipher emotions, I knew Anaís was back and it was time to remind her. Logan….. Days after. I had to wait a few days for Anaís to be able to look me in the face and talk to me, we didn't talk about what happened between us, we didn't have to and to be honest, we love each other. I need you to come with me. Anaís wrinkled her eyebrows at the ice cream I offered her, “Ice cream?” Just came. We left the house, heading to the trees where I had installed a couple of swings the previous few days. She furrowed her eyebrows, taking a lick of her ice cream, What is this? Ice cream and swings? Aren't you too old for this? I smiled widely at him, “Just sit down.” She did so, her free hand gently stroking the metal rope at her side, a confused expression taking over her face. Mason had looked at me reluctantly, -You recreate the place, the moment as much as you can and this might help her remember it, - he paused, But
No.- she interrupted me, -Don't lie, grey eyes. I'll give you another chance because I'm in a good mood, and honestly, it would be a waste to kill Adam, he's good. I don't know what I feel for her, but it's the closest thing to love I've ever felt in my entire life.- I said honestly, She... - I could feel Mason and Adam's eyes on me, -She makes me believe that my diagnosis is wrong and that I can feel. The red princess narrowed her eyes, “Since when? Why her?” I didn't want to say it, but I knew I had to tell the truth, "I met her when I was twelve." Mason furrowed his eyebrows. The memory was as clear in my mind as if it had been yesterday. Are you crying? - she asked me curiously. I looked up to see a little blonde girl with an ice cream in her hand and a flowery dress with too many colors. I quickly wiped my tears away, embarrassed. She sat on the swing next to mine without saying anything. We stayed silent for a while, until she spoke after taking a lick of her ice cream, Whe
Adam. Blood dripped from my knuckles in a slow but mesmerizing rhythm. Mason remained silent, leaning against a tree with his hands crossed over his chest. There was no reason for him to be here anymore, I had calmed down and had no more bullets. Maybe he didn't want to go back and have to deal with what was going on in there either. I clenched my fists, causing more blood to pour out of the cuts on my knuckles. I wanted to say it hurt, but no, my pain tolerance was impressive thanks to all those years of dealing with it. Physical pain was an area I had under control, emotional discomfort was another matter. Emotional discomfort... A self-mocking smile formed on my lips. But then, what is all this shit that I feel? That was a question I had never found an answer to. Maybe I confused the feeling of losing an object of fun with jealousy or something else, but it didn't matter anyway. I heard footsteps and within seconds I had Logan standing in front of me at a safe distance. Hi
Adam… I shouldn't have let her go like that. Anaís was disturbed by that kiss; I knew it, and yet I had let her run away from me like that. I had to make it clear to her, to make her understand that she and I had history, long before Logan and Mason got into this. I paced back and forth in my room. Should I go to her? I didn't want to overwhelm her either; it would only push her away from me. I ran my hands through my hair in frustration, not knowing what to do. I shouldn't have lost control and kissed her like that, although a part of me was happy with her reaction—she kissed me back. Maybe her feelings were coming back. Maybe she was coming back to me. A smile formed on my lips; that would make me the happiest man on the planet. I had abandoned everything for her; I had done the unimaginable for her well-being and to keep her by my side. I just needed her to accept me for all this to be worth it; I didn't ask for anything else. Regaining my resolve, I left my room and headed
The darkness was stifling; I could barely breathe, my heart threatening to jump out of my chest. The daylight that filtered in under the door was barely enough to let me see Logan's silhouette a few feet away from me, but I couldn't see his face or his expression, and that scared me. Logan... My voice came out shakier than I expected, my throat dry, my hands sweaty. Logan didn't say anything, the silence gnawing at him. "Logan, open the door," I asked, praying that this was just a game that would last a few minutes. He wants you, Anaís. That voice again. That wasn't true; I was just a game to him, nothing more. You want him too, even if you don't want to admit it. No. Its darkness attracts you, intrigues you. No, that's not true. You want to see what lies beyond that cold demeanor. You want to see the man behind the indifference. You want to dig deep and find his humanity. No... I didn't realize I said it out loud until I heard it. I expected some sort of response or mocke
"They're not going to have you," he hissed in annoyance. "I know you'd never be that interested in them, and they wouldn't be able to force you." Won't they be able to force me? - I laughed sarcastically. - We're talking about two psychopaths, Adam; I think you should know that limits are not something they have. They have limits when it comes to you. I shook my head. - Suppose they don't do anything against my will; so what if they win? Logan and I already have history; what if I fall for him again? Adam didn't say anything; he just twisted his lips. So I continued, “Could you stand it?” I didn’t know where this strength came from to say these things. Seeing me with him every day? Seeing him touch me, kiss me, let me have sex in his room? Anaís... I took a step toward him, looking him straight in the eyes. Would you please? Adam clenched his jaw; he was angry, rage rolling off his posture in waves. I kept pressing it. Maybe he'll let you watch him make love to me and... A
I'm going crazy. And I know, because I'm starting to be like them. I silently observed each of their expressions, each gesture, each exchanged glance, analyzing, trying to make sense of all this madness. Struggling to find reasons, motives, weaknesses. The only difference was that no matter how hard I tried to act like them, I wasn't like them and never would be; there was only so much I could imitate or try to copy; everything had a limit. However, the little that I had noticed had to be of some use. Mason…. He was the most dangerous of all; he didn't take anything seriously, everything was a game to him, no matter how twisted and bloody it could get. Plus, he was extremely intelligent; that ability to manipulate and decipher people could be even more dangerous than any physical ability. Logan…. He was unpredictable, volatile behind that mask of coldness. I could see how unstable he could be when something didn't go his way or when something bothered him. Logan was easier to a
He took two steps toward me. "You say you hate me, but you can't, and that makes you angry." Don't come near me. He didn't stop, forcing me back until the back of my knees touched the bed behind me. "Despite everything, you can't help but feel the way you feel about me." I hate him, I hate him; he's a murderer. I keep repeating it in my head over and over again. But Logan didn't let me think; he grabbed me by the waist tightly with one arm, sticking me to him. I struggled, trying to free myself. —Let me go, Logan! He gave me that signature crooked smile of his. I missed you, Anaís. Before I could say anything, he used his free hand to grab me by the neck and smash his lips against mine. Those soft lips that were so familiar and that I had kissed so many times still felt good against mine, but I couldn't respond. I fought against that feeling of comfort and pushed him away. Logan stepped back, smiling. I slapped him as hard as I could. —Don't you ever do that again. Logan con
Memories………Blood... So much blood on my hands... I move my fingers in front of my face, warm blood sliding down them, running down my palms to my wrists and falling into the void. Stop... That soft voice... angelic... I turned around, but there was only darkness around me. Where am I? I'll bite you back, red princess. Mason's voice in the distance made me fall to my knees, a sharp pain spreading through my head, squeezing my skull, making me gasp in agony. I'm not interested in you; I'm interested in Anaís. It hurts so much. I heard footsteps approaching me; they were slow and steady. Whoever it was was in no hurry. Holding my throbbing head, I managed to stand up, staggering from side to side. The light came back around me, blinding and imposing, and there in front of me was my father. Dad? —I couldn't believe it. I hurried towards him. —Dad, my head hurts so much. Standing in front of him, my father smiled and hugged me, but instead of feeling good, it was the opposite