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39 ~ Moral Support?
Last Updated:
2025-03-25 13:08:24
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Dying to Love You 40 ~ Strange
"You're.... cooking?" I asked, unable to keep the disbelief from my voice. Victor turned, and the sight of him sent an unexpected jolt through me. He looked... different. Thinner, with shadows under his eyes and a weariness in his posture I'd never seen before. "Attempting to." he admitted, his voice lacking its usual crisp authority. "Your mother's paella recipe. Though I think I'm butchering it." The mention of my mother froze me in place. Victor never spoke of Elena Moreno. Her name was an unspoken taboo in our house, her memory confined to a single photo he kept in his office and the collection of her things I'd salvaged from storage. "You never cook her recipes," I said carefully, unsure how to navigate this strange new territory. "No," he agreed, turning back to the stove. "Perhaps that was a mistake." I watched him stir the rice, noting the slight tremor in his hand, the way his shoulders hunched forward. Something was definitely wrong. "Need help?" I offered, more to b
Last Updated : 2025-03-25Dying to Love You 41 ~ Like This Forever
When I reached the Ellis apartment building, I climbed the fire escape to Sam's window, our private entrance since we were sixteen. She was waiting, bundled in a sweater despite the mild night, Midnight curled at her feet. "Hey." she said softly as I climbed in. "That bad?" "Not bad. Just... confusing." I collapsed beside her on the bed, pulling her against me and burying my face in her hair. She smelled like vanilla and honey, the scent instantly soothing my frayed nerves. "I don't want to talk about it yet." "Okay." she agreed, stroking my hair. "What do you want to do instead?" I pulled back enough to look at her, taking in the concern in her eyes, the gentle curve of her lips. "Just be with you. Somewhere quiet." She smiled, understanding immediately. "I know just the place." Sam led me through the dark apartment, Midnight trailing behind us like a shadow. We tiptoed down the back stairs that connected to the bakery, then through the kitchen to a narrow door I'd never noti
Last Updated : 2025-03-25Dying to Love You 42 ~ In a Tangle
SAMANTHA~The memory of our night on the roof had replayed in my mind all week, Rafael's hands exploring my body, his lips against my skin, the whispered promises. Each touch had ignited something inside me I couldn't extinguish, a hunger that grew with every kiss we shared.Today marked two weeks since our first kiss in the garage. Two weeks of stolen moments, of learning each other's bodies, of pushing boundaries but never quite crossing the final one. Not because we didn't want to, god knows we both did, but because something always stopped us. May coming home early, Rafael's father calling unexpectedly, or my own body betraying me with a coughing fit that killed the mood faster than a bucket of ice water.But tonight was different. May was visiting our aunt in Portland for the weekend. Rafael's father was at some business dinner. And my lungs, for once, seemed to be cooperating.I stared at item six on my bucket list; [ Lose my virginity] . The words seemed so clinical, so ina
Last Updated : 2025-03-25Dying to Love You 43 ~ Perfect
Rafael went very still, his eyes widening. We hadn't said those particular words yet, dancing around the emotion without naming it. Now it was impossible to take back. "I'm sorry," I backtracked. "I didn't mean to just —" "I love you too," he interrupted, closing the distance between us in two strides. "Fuck, Sunny, I've loved you forever. Just didn't know how to say it without scaring you off." His hands cradled my face as if I were something precious, his dark eyes searching mine with an intensity that took my breath away. "Say it again," he whispered. "I love you Rafael," I repeated, feeling the truth of it resonate through my entire being. He kissed me, a kiss unlike any we'd shared before, deeper, more tender, infused with the emotion we'd finally acknowledged. My arms wound around his neck as he walked us backward toward the bed, our bodies pressed so close I could feel his heart hammering in time with mine. The fairy lights strung across his bedroom ceiling blurred
Last Updated : 2025-03-25Dying to Love You 44 ~ Shattered
What followed was a dance of awkward fumbling and breathless discovery. Jeans that stuck at ankles, nervous laughter that dissolved into gasps as we explored newly exposed skin. There was no script, no choreography, just two people figuring it out together with equal parts enthusiasm and uncertainty."Is this okay?" Rafael asked repeatedly, his hands tentative as they traced the curves of my body, as if afraid I might shatter beneath his touch."More than okay," I assured him each time, guiding him when necessary, learning what made him groan in response.When we were finally naked, facing each other with nothing left to hide behind, I felt a moment of panic. Not about the act itself, but about what it represented, this irrevocable step into a future that, for me, had a definite endpoint. Was it fair to give him this part of myself when I couldn't promise him tomorrow, let alone forever?"Hey," Rafael murmured, noticing my distraction. "Where'd you go just now?"I forced a smile. "Now
Last Updated : 2025-03-25Dying to Love You 45 ~ Connected
Our foreheads pressed together as he positioned himself, both of us panting like we'd run miles. "Slow," he reminded himself aloud, veins standing out in his neck as he paused at my entrance. "Am I hurting —" "Move," I nipped his lower lip, wrapping my legs around his waist. "Please." What happened next was nothing like the movies, no perfect choreography or instant ecstasy. There was discomfort and awkward positioning, whispered apologies and reassurances. Rafael was painfully gentle, constantly checking that I was okay, his concern for my comfort so evident that it brought tears to my eyes. "Does it hurt?" he asked anxiously, mistaking my emotion for pain. "A little." I admitted. "But don't stop. Please don't stop...." His first full thrust punched a moan from both our chests. The stretch burned deliciously, our sweat slicked skin sticking where we joined. Rafael's rhythm stuttered as he fought for control, murmuring filthy praises against my ear between gasps. And it was oka
Last Updated : 2025-03-25Dying to Love You 46 ~ Bad feeling
RAFAEL ~ Sex changed everything and nothing at all. Three days after our first time together, I still couldn't stop thinking about the way Sam had felt beneath me, the sounds she'd made, the way she'd whispered my name like a fucking prayer. It played on loop in my mind while I worked on engines, ate breakfast, tried to sleep. The memory of her skin against mine was a constant distraction, both torture and salvation. But in other ways, we were the same Sam and Raf we'd always been. Still bickering over what movies to watch, still finishing each other's sentences, still calling each other those stupid nicknames that somehow meant more now. "Earth to Moreno," Jen's voice cut through my daydream. "You planning to fix that carburetor or just stare at it all day?" I blinked, focusing on the disassembled parts in front of me. "Sorry. Got distracted." "No shit." She tossed a rag at my head. "You've been walking around with your head in the clouds all week. Either that girl finally put
Last Updated : 2025-03-25Dying to Love You 47 ~ Missed You
I pushed the thoughts aside as I climbed the familiar steps to the Ellis apartment. Whatever Marcus was implying, Sam would have told me if something was seriously wrong. We didn't keep secrets, not important ones. All doubts vanished when Sam opened the door, her face lighting up at the sight of me. She wore a simple sundress that showed off her collarbones and fell to mid thigh, her hair loose around her shoulders the way I liked it. "You're early," she said, stepping back to let me in. "Couldn't wait," I admitted, pulling her into my arms as soon as the door closed behind us. "Missed you." She laughed against my mouth. "It's been eight hours Raf." "Eight hours too long," I murmured, kissing her properly. She melted into me, her body soft and pliant against mine. I backed her against the wall, deepening the kiss until we were both breathless. Her hands fisted in my shirt, pulling me closer as if she couldn't bear any space between us. "May won't be home until ten," she whis
Last Updated : 2025-03-25
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Dying to Love You 60 ~ If I'm Still Here
I slid my hands into his hair, tugging to bring his face back to mine for a kiss that quickly deepened, tongues meeting in a dance we'd perfected over months of exploration. My legs parted instinctively, allowing him to settle more fully against me, the thin fabric of our sleep shorts doing nothing to hide his arousal. "Condom?" he murmured against my lips. I shook my head. "Pill. And clean test results, remember?" A month ago, we'd both been tested — Rafael's idea, surprisingly— and decided to stop using condoms. The intimacy of nothing between us was still new enough to feel thrilling. "Just checking," he said, sliding down my body once more. His fingers hooked in the waistband of my shorts, drawing them down slowly, teasingly, lips following the path of newly exposed skin. By the time he settled between my thighs, I was trembling with anticipation. The first touch of his tongue against my center had me biting down on my knuckles to stifle a moan. He knew exactly how
Dying to Love You 59 ~ Memorize
The bedroom door swung open again, this time revealing May with a dish towel thrown over her shoulder. "Dinner's ready," she announced, then noticed the letters scattered across the bed. "What's all this?" "Raf got into MIT, Georgia Tech, and Carnegie Mellon," I said, unable to keep the pride from my voice. "Full scholarship for MIT!" May's eyebrows shot up. "No shit? That's fantastic, Rafael." The genuine pleasure in her tone seemed to surprise him. My sister and boyfriend had developed an uneasy truce over the years, bonded primarily by their shared concern for me. This was perhaps the one of warmest she'd ever been with him. "Thanks," he said, awkwardness creeping into his posture. "We should celebrate," May continued. "I think there's a bottle of champagne in the back of the fridge from New Year's." "You don't have to — " Rafael began. "Yes we do," May insisted. "This is a big deal. Put those away and come eat before the lasagna gets cold. We'll toast to MIT's newest engin
Dying to Love You 58 ~ Lucky Me
SAMANTHA~It took three days for Rafael to move in officially. Three days of him shuttling between our apartment and his father's house—I couldn't bring myself to call it his house, even though legally that's what it was now. Three days of watching him sort through nineteen years of a life shared with a man he barely knew."I don't know what to do with all this shit," he said on the third night, sprawled on my bed, exhaustion etched into every line of his body. "It's just.. stuff. Expensive stuff that doesn't mean anything."I ran my fingers through his hair, dark strands sliding between them like silk. "You don't have to decide everything right now.""The lawyer said I should sell the house." He turned his face into my pillow. "Says the market's good, and the money would be better in investments.""Do you want to sell it?""Fuck yes." His voice was muffled but vehement. "I never want to set foot in that mausoleum again."I didn't push. Just continued the slow, rhythmic strokes thro
Dying to Love You 57 ~ Just You
I buried my face in her neck, inhaling the familiar scent of her skin. "Don't go...." I murmured, the words muffled against her. She stilled, understanding the layers beneath my simple request. "I'm right here," she said carefully. "I need you." My hands slid under her simple black dress, seeking skin, connection, proof of life. "Raf," she breathed, caught between concern and responding desire. "Are you sure this is what you need right now?" "You..." I repeated, kissing her with a desperate hunger that had nothing to do with sex and everything to do with affirming that we were both still here, still alive, still together. "Just you." She hesitated only a moment before responding, her lips softening under mine, her body melting against me as understanding passed between us without words. This wasn't about pleasure but presence, not passion but connection. We made love there on the couch, slow and tender, my ears filled with her soft sighs and whispered reassurances. I tried to me
Dying to Love You 56 ~ Won't Be Alone
She led me back to her apartment. bMay took one look at us and wordlessly made breakfast, setting a plate of eggs and toast in front of me that I managed to choke down only because Sam watched me with worried eyes. After, Sam drew me a shower and gave me one of the t shirts I'd left at their place. Clean, fed, but still hollowed out, I finally let her lead me to her bedroom. She pulled me down beside her on the narrow bed, tucking herself against me like she'd done countless times, her head on my chest, arm draped across my waist. "Talk when you're ready," she murmured. "Or don't. I'm here either way." That's when it hit me, the full, crushing reality. My father was dead. By his own hand. The last words he'd ever write to me were on that pathetic fucking note, as inadequate as every conversation we'd never had.... "He didn't even say he loved me" I whispered, the words ripping from me like they were barbed. "Nineteen years, and he couldn't even write that he loved me in his fu
Dying to Love You 55 ~ Dead
RAFAEL ~I knew something was wrong the moment I stepped into the house. it was too quiet, too still — like walking into a tomb. Dad's Black Audi was in the driveway, which was already weird. He wasn't supposed to be back from his Tokyo trip until next week."Dad...?" I called out, dropping my backpack by the door. No answer.The kitchen was empty, pristine as always since no one actually cooked in it. A half-empty glass of whiskey sat on the counter, Dad's usual, Macallan 18, the expensive shit he said was the only thing worth drinking. Next to it was an envelope with my name scrawled across it in his precise handwriting.My stomach dropped."Dad?!?" I called again, louder this time.I grabbed the envelope, tearing it open as I moved through the house. The note inside was brief, typical of a man who'd spent my entire life saying as little as possible to me.[ Rafael,I'm sorry for this. The life insurance policy will provide for you. Don't make my mistakes. Your mother would have d
Dying to Love You 54 ~ Stay With Me
Rafael was more protective, yes, but also more present. He'd taken to studying my medications, researching CF treatments late into the night, accompanying me to doctor appointments. Sometimes I caught him watching me with an intensity that stole my breath, memorizing me, I realized, for the day when memories would be all he had left.The physical aspect of our relationship had evolved too. Where before there had been playful exploration, now there was often a desperate edge to our lovemaking, as if we could somehow outrun death by losing ourselves in each other."Done." Rafael announced, hitting submit on the final application. "Five schools. You happy now?""Ecstatic." I said, meaning it. "You're going to get in everywhere.""Maybe." He pulled me onto his lap, nuzzling my neck. "Now can we please do something more interesting than college essays?"I laughed, though it triggered a small cough. "Such as?"His hands slid under my tshirt, warm against my skin. "I have a few ideas."Th
Dying to Love You 53 ~ Tell Me
He paced the small living room like a caged animal. "Two years. Jesus Christ Sam." "Maybe longer with the clinical trial!" I offered, desperate for any hope to give him. "The one Marcus mentioned. I called him yesterday —" "Ohh, you called Marcus. That's fucking great." The jealousy in his tone was unexpected. "Planning your medical future with your bookstore boyfriend?" "He's not, it's not like that. He's a pharmaceutical rep whose cousin died of CF. He's trying to help." "By taking pictures of your medical records? Some help ." I sighed, too tired for this particular fight. "Can we not do this right now? Please? I've told you the truth. If you want to walk away, I understand. You didn't sign up for this." Rafael stopped pacing abruptly. "Walk away? Is that what you think I'm going to do?" "It's what most people would do," I said quietly. "It's what I'd understand if you did." "Then you don't know me at all." He dropped to his knees in front of me, taking my hands in his. "I'
Dying to Love You 52 ~ Before 21
Three days after the bakery confrontation, Rafael came back.I was sitting on the fire escape outside my bedroom window, my thinking spot since childhood, when Persephone's distinctive rumble cut through the evening quiet. My heart leapt into my throat even as I told myself not to hope. He could be visiting May, collecting things he'd left at our apartment, or a dozen other reasons that didn't involve forgiving me.I watched him park, remove his helmet, and sit on his bike for a long moment, head bowed as if gathering courage.When he finally looked up, his eyes found me immediately, as if he'd known exactly where I'd be.The summer heat pressed down like a physical weight as I climbed back through my window, each movement measured and careful to avoid triggering a coughing fit. My lungs felt heavy, congested with the mucus that was my constant companion, worsened by three days of crying. I'd started the antibiotics Dr Aaron prescribed after my latest lung culture showed an infectio
