1

1169 words

I

n a world

full of deceit and lies, who do you trust?

I stand alone in the corner of the nightclub, watching him take her in his arms before he kisses her.

The air evaporates from my lungs. I can’t breathe.

Despair is pumping through my bloodstream, but for some sick self-destructive reason, I can’t bring myself to look away. I have to see this—see what he is capable of and exactly how far this has gone.

The signs were there, I saw them. But like a fool I ignored them for as long as my gut instinct would allow.

I believed that he loved me.

I believed that she loved me.

As I stand there and watch my boyfriend of two years kissing my best friend and roommate of five years, I realize I have never felt so betrayed on so many levels. I can’t even begin to comprehend what I am witnessing.

The hairs on the back of my neck stand to attention. I feel like I am having an out of body experience watching the horrific nightmare unfold.

This can’t be happening.

My first inkling was two weeks ago. Melissa, my roommate, had a date with a guy she has been seeing for a few weeks and when he arrived to pick her up, Todd, my boyfriend, was really nasty to him. I watched him glare at her as she left and I saw her practically run from the apartment just to get Todd away from that man.

Why?

Why wasn’t he happy that she was dating? They had become friends and hell, had spent many nights alone in my apartment as he waited for me to get home from my nightshift. A sick thought had crossed my mind that night… was he jealous?

No, he couldn’t be.

So, I thought I would test the theory. Over the following week I was overly affectionate towards Todd in front of Melissa, and every single time she went to bed early, acting happy even though I knew she was fuming inside. The catalyst came on Thursday night when I decided to call in sick for work and Todd and Melissa were both openly annoyed that I wasn’t going in.

I had obviously ruined their plans of having sex, and that’s when the deep sickening truth slayed me.

Did they have sex in her bed or mine?

How often did my roommate satisfy my lover?

Unable to help myself, I put a tracking device app on Melissa’s phone. I knew her password. Of course I did. We shared everything.

Even a cock, it seemed.

On Friday she announced that she was going away for the weekend and Todd announced that he had a night away planned to somewhere else for work.

Coincidence? I didn’t think so.

I knew they were meeting up and probably going to be fucking in a hotel room somewhere.

I took my time. I waited.

And now it’s 11 p.m. on Saturday night and I’m in a different town, in a nightclub where I know nobody, witnessing my worst nightmare.

He can go. A leopard never changes his sickening spots… but why the fuck did he have to take her from me?

I watch them through unshed tears as my heart tries to escape my chest.

My best friend—the only constant in my life since my mother passed away five years ago. My father, an abusing control freak, left when I was a kid, and then when Mom died I moved here for college and met Melissa. My life changed that day. Mel was happy, confident, and attractive.

More than I was… than I am.

I watch her grind herself against him while he looks down on her seductively as she dances. His hands are on her behind. He’s smiling as he says something and then they laugh together, and I feel myself die a little inside.

They are not just fucking.

They have feelings for each other.

He kisses her again and his hands go to the back of her head to hold her exactly how he wants her. Their kiss is long, deep, and erotic.

Through blurred vision, I try to make myself look away.

No.

I can’t look away because I know when I leave this nightclub two of the most important people in my life will no longer be a part of it. The floor sways beneath me. How is this possible?

What have I done to deserve this betrayal?

I can’t move.

He kisses her again and they fall back against a wall where he pins her and then they start to really go for it.

No. Stop it!

The tears burst the dam and I start to stride toward them as the adrenaline hits its crescendo. I need to stop them, stop everything.

Stop kissing her, you fucking asshole!

Please, stop it!

But then I pause mid-step.

Don’t do this. Don’t lower yourself. Go home and move out. Don’t give them a chance to deny or defend it.

I am better than this.

I stand for a moment and stare at the square pattern on the carpet beneath my feet. I’m dizzy and disorientated. I stay there for a while longer with my eyes firmly on the dirty treasons. He kisses her and lifts her thigh up to wrap around his, a move he always pulls on me.

Does he like to do her from behind, too?

That last thought snaps something deep inside. I don’t remember getting over to them, but I push him in the back as he pins her to the wall, he falls forward and then looks around, his expression drops in horror. Before I know what I’m doing, I’ve punched him in the face.

Melissa’s hands fly to her mouth. “Oh my God!” she gasps. “T-this isn’t what it looks like,” she stammers.

“You slut!” I scream, unable to control myself. I grab a drink from a man walking past and throw it in her face, following it up with a hard slap across her cheek. She staggers back in shock, her hand flying up to her smarting face.

“Roshelle,” Todd cries as he grabs my arm to try and control me. “Calm down.” He pulls me away from Melissa, clearly scared that I am going to hit her again.

“I will not fucking calm down.” I push out as the tears fall. I turn to him and a myriad of emotions fill me, but it is his betrayal that steals my voice. I have so many things I want to say, so many things that have escaped my brain. My eyes search his and he tries to grab my hand.

“Don’t touch me!” I yell as I whip my hand away from him. “Never again.”

I turn to Melissa. “Get your things and get out of my house.” I sneer.