(Winona)I stare at the test, my whole world narrowed down to that tiny, plastic window.I’ve always been sure this would be negative. There’s no need to feel disappointed or upset. It is what it is. The chances of me actually being pregnant, after already having one impossible pregnancy, is a drop in the ocean.Negative is what I knew would happen. Negative is exactly what I need. So much less complicated. I stare inside that plastic window and there’s no mistaking the result.Two lines. Bold. Clear. Positive.The room falls away. All the air leaves my lungs. I clutch my chest and try to suck oxygen in, but I can’t breathe.I’m pregnant. I press my other hand to my stomach, half-expecting to feel something—a heartbeat, a flutter, any sign that this is real. But, of course, it’s just me and the stillness of my own pulse, thudding beneath my palm.My racing pulse fills my ears. My heart is thumping. This is really impossible. My chest is about to cave in, I swear.The air suddenly
(Winona)Lisa picks up, her face flooding my screen. The worry on her face is evident, her eyes scanning mine.“Winona! Did you do it? Did you take the test?” she asks.I swallow, unable to find the words. With a shaky hand, I hold the test up to the screen, showing her the two unmistakable lines, bold as anything.It’s confirmation of a reality I barely dared to believe possible.Lisa’s jaw drops. “No fucking way… You are pregnant?” Her voice softens with something between awe and disbelief.I nod, feeling everything crash over me. “I can’t believe it either, Lisa. It’s all a blur. There’s so much, too much.”Lisa’s face lights up briefly, but then her expression shifts, her mind clearly racing. “This is… complicated?”“Complicated,” I repeat, the word tasting bitter on my tongue. “More than complicated, Lisa. This is… a disaster. What if…” My voice catches, but I force the words out. “What if it isn’t Jayden’s? Why does it even matter if I lose it anyway?”Lisa takes a deep breath,
(Winona)It’s been two months since I saw my husband Jayden. I’m almost positive he’s coming to ask me for a divorce right now but I’m not giving up.Three years ago, after a car accident, he lost his memory, and I lay in a coma for a year. When I woke up, all I wanted to do was see him again. All I wanted was for us to be the couple we once were. When I found him, it was like a knife straight through my heart. Not only didn’t he remember me, but he loved another woman, Ashlyn. My heart pounds and tears swell in my eyes as I listen to the husband I love speak to me over a call like he hates me more than anything else in the world.“Despite what you did, I’m coming there,” he seethes over the phone. “I want this over once and for all and I’m coming back to see that happens. I’ll be there at dinner time.”He believes I drugged him into sleeping with me two months ago. “I did nothing. This is all a mistake, if only you could remember how much we loved each other…” I beg. “Don’t start
(Winona)I’m packing up my personal things. Slowly placing the possessions I love into boxes. My heart is torn apart as I glance around the house I’d started to set up as my forever home. The one I’d build a family with Jayden in and live happily ever after. Fresh tears start as I think about maybe never being a mother now. I just can’t imagine myself ever loving anyone else as much as I love Jayden. I certainly can’t see myself pregnant and happy with another man.I grew up in a loveless and abusive family. The shining light was a kind and loving foster mother I got to live with when I went to college and university. Come to think of it, she was as much responsible for my success as Jayden was at the time. That home made me forget my awful early childhood and see the world could be a nicer place. You know what? I’m going home to her. She never ever judged. She never tried to tell me not to see Jayden.My father was a drunk and my mother was cold because she never wanted a baby to h
(Winona)“Why are you here? How did you get in? The door was locked.”Every aspect of Judy Brennan was perfect. Her thousand-dollar outfit. Her smile. Her trim, athletic shape. But the shiniest apples are sometimes rotten inside. This shiny apple was the most rotten I’d ever known.“This is Jayden’s house. Of course, I have a key. I have every right to stop by and see if you need help getting your sorry backside as far away from here as possible.”I’m about to say something back and the urge to vomit hits me. I rush to the bathroom and try to throw up in the washbasin. I’ve had nothing to eat and I just heave and cough until my stomach hurts.But every day this week I’ve been nauseous, and I can’t eat much. I figured it’s the stress. Now it’s just this horrid woman.She’s in the bathroom doorway. “Hmph… sick again are you? Ashlyn told me you’d vomited last week when they came by with the divorce papers. She told me you’d been with Jayden not so long ago too.”Even though she scares t
(Winona)This is my second night in the hotel and I’m expecting Lisa to come visit. But I need a shower because I’ve slept half the day, too sad to get out of bed. I had the hotel restaurant make her a cake and stock the mini bar.Although I won’t be drinking alcohol, I’ll mix the drinks and pretend. I fly out tomorrow. I’m not even telling her I’m pregnant. I can’t tell anyone. Not if I want to keep my baby.I need her to believe I’m okay because I can never have her come and visit me. We probably won’t see each other again for a while, unless I am sure Jayden’s mother won’t do anything to the child.It’s my only hope right now. It’s fifteen minutes until she arrives. I text to say the hotel door is unlocked and to come right in, I’m having a shower. I get back a thumbs up.The hot water cascades over me and I rub my hands over my belly. Soon enough I’ll start to show. I need to go where no one knows me or my past and reinvent myself and my story. I could stay here forever but I know
(Winona)Moving to the city I grew up in was a real struggle at first. It’s been three years and slowly each day got better. The tiny life growing inside me made me stronger. This wasn’t just about me.After giving birth to my beautiful girl, I started a little firm as a marketing and financial advisor, putting my education to use. It seemed being able to put forward proposals for successful marketing campaigns is something I’m very excellent at.All of my smaller company campaigns have been going like wildfire. Enough to get the attention of several larger firms. Bigger contracts really turn things around in the corporate world.I guess time does heal all wounds. It’s been the best time of my life since the divorce. Mostly because I’m a mother now and she is the most important thing in the world to me.Would I love being a complete family? Sure. But families come in all shapes and sizes and mine is my daughter and my foster mother who stepped in without hesitation and welcomed me and
(Jayden)It really is her. I saw her picture when my head of digital marketing brought this small firm to my attention. I see him kiss her and anger swells inside me and I get a flash of something. A pain in my head and Winona in a similar suit and me kissing her and wishing her luck for an interview.Then the pain is gone and the only thing I feel now is annoyance. How unprofessional of them. Aren’t they supposed to be business partners? I mean she has every right to move on but for some reason I can’t shake the anger right now.Her eyes are locked onto mine and her face reddens. I push open the door and stride in as if I couldn’t care less. I have a very lucrative contract in my hand and it will get signed today.I place it on the desk. “It’s all in there, you have twenty-four hours to sign. If you don’t sign, there will never be another offer from our company.”I remember the last time I told her to sign papers, three years ago. Divorce papers.She certainly isn’t crying this time