03 Pregnancy? Oh No!

 (Winona)

“Why are you here? How did you get in? The door was locked.”

Every aspect of Judy Brennan was perfect. Her thousand-dollar outfit. Her smile. Her trim, athletic shape. But the shiniest apples are sometimes rotten inside. This shiny apple was the most rotten I’d ever known.

“This is Jayden’s house. Of course, I have a key. I have every right to stop by and see if you need help getting your sorry backside as far away from here as possible.”

I’m about to say something back and the urge to vomit hits me. I rush to the bathroom and try to throw up in the washbasin. I’ve had nothing to eat and I just heave and cough until my stomach hurts.

But every day this week I’ve been nauseous, and I can’t eat much. I figured it’s the stress. Now it’s just this horrid woman.

She’s in the bathroom doorway. “Hmph… sick again are you? Ashlyn told me you’d vomited last week when they came by with the divorce papers. She told me you’d been with Jayden not so long ago too.”

Even though she scares the crap out of me, I splash cold water on my face, dry it with a towel and straighten up. “That’s none of Ashlyn’s or your business. He’s a grown man. His sex life is his business. Besides, if he had a commitment with Ashlyn, he wouldn’t have done anything with me. He’s not like that.”

“Well, They’re engaged now. Of course you would use your body to tempt him. That’s how you got him in the first place. I bet you did anything and everything he wanted to keep him,” she sneers.

“He approached me. I would never have met him if he hadn’t pursued it.” I know it’s pointless trying to convince her. “If it wasn’t for him, we’d never have fallen in love.”

Maybe it’s me who needs convincing the way he is now is because of the amnesia. That what we had was real. I might not be able to be with him now but he did love me. He really did. He just can’t remember and neither of us can help that.

 “He never really loved you; it was lust. Now he can see what you’re really like. A gold digger. Ashlyn is ladylike enough to wait until they are married. He does have respect like that, you’re right.”

Actually, Jayden and I never had sex for a whole two years because he respected me wanting to wait until I was ready. The night I was ready, prom night, he was ready. It was slow and beautiful and perfect. That night bound our souls together.

I didn’t think anything would ever stop him loving me. “Why can’t you just admit you are wrong. I made him happy. Blind Freddy could see that.”

“That’s your story but I know if you have his first-born, you have his fortune in the palm of your hand. Don’t tell me that wouldn’t be a factor for any woman? He never wanted kids. I don’t know why you’re crying over baby things. This is a fantasy you’ve conned him into.”

“Unlike you, some people aren’t motivated by money or power. We wanted a baby.”

“Your family is trash. Of course you’re motivated by money. You want everything you didn’t get with your family and you tried to use Jayden and Ashlyn to get it. Playing big sister and devoted wife. Ashlyn was always meant to be with Jayden. It was arranged from the day she was born.”

I can’t hide my surprise and disgust at this statement. “Arranged? My God, you’re all stark raving mad. Love is love.” I feel a little sorry for Ashlyn now. Clearly, she’s been groomed to love Jayden. “You cannot dictate what the heart wants.”

“I’m doing okay so far.”

I’m beginning to see I’ve really dodged a bullet here. I can never trust her and I would never leave any child of mine with her. “You are evil. One day, Jayden will see that.” I know I shouldn’t bait her like that but I’m so angry right now. 

I swear she will not bring me down. I will succeed despite her.

“I can tell you; your tricks won’t work. Even if you are pregnant now.” Her voice is low and dangerous. “I’ll make sure you are out of his life forever.”

My mind is racing. Pregnant? She thinks I might be pregnant?

The possibility rams into my mind. I am on the pill to try and regulate my period but it’s the low-dosage because my hormones are shot with the other medications. Endometriosis means getting pregnant will be almost impossible without intervention. Almost.

I cannot let her think I think she’s right. “I’m not pregnant. Doctor says it’s a virus, that’s all. I’d hate being pregnant right now. When I have kids it will never be to a grandmother as delusional and controlling as you.”

She steps into the bathroom and into my personal space. “You better not be pregnant. If I find out you are, I will take that baby from you and you’ll never see it again. Your child will learn to hate you as much as my son does now.” Her threat is very real. “Or perhaps I’ll have to tell my grandchild, the mother died in an accident.”

I feel the color drain from my face. I’m not taking any chances.

My heart pounds and I know to take this woman at her word. “I’m not pregnant. Now get out. The storage people will be here soon.” I’m not letting her think she intimidates me for long. “I can’t wait to get away from you all.”

“Don’t think you can fight me. I have police, judges, politicians in my pocket.”

I stand up straighter and pull my shoulders back to pretend I don’t care and that she doesn’t scare me. “Just leave. I need to go, and you’re holding me up.”

She scoffs at me again, but she does leave. I lock the door behind her and put the chain in. I race to the bedroom cupboard. I know I had a test there leftover from before.

I see it in the back corner and grab it. Still in date. My head is spinning and my hands shake as I rip it from the packaging and lock the bathroom door behind me.

Five minutes later I see two blue lines. Oh no. I am pregnant with his baby. But, oh my goodness! I am pregnant against all the odds. Now I know I have to leave here and make a life for myself and my child. I don’t want this baby being raised in such a toxic environment. 

I don’t want to risk miscarriage in such a toxic environment.

Stuffing the packaging and the test into my handbag so she can’t find it accidentally after I’m gone. It honestly would not surprise me if she had someone go through the trash.

I put my handbag over my shoulder and picked up my overnight bag. I walk out the door and pull it shut behind me. Any sadness from leaving here has been replaced with survival instinct. I will leave and not ever come back near this place again.

I now have a new priority growing inside me. I have to protect my baby from that monster.