10: Losing hope

After a week of being confined to the hospital ward, Khana was finally discharged. Richard was there, waiting anxiously outside her room, his heart pounding with hope and fear. The lady's groom-to-be was determined to win her back, to convince her that their love was real, even if she couldn't remember it.

Richard's heart skipped a beat when he noticed Khana emerged from the ward, supported by a nurse. It is no surprise she looked fragile and lost, her eyes clouded with confusion, yet he refused to let doubt creep in.

 He stepped forward, offering her a reassuring smile as he reached out to take her hand. Then, Richard kissed the back of her hand, even though he felt her wanting to pull her hand back.

"Khana," he said softly, his voice trembling with emotion. "I'm so glad you're okay."

Khana nodded weakly, her gaze drifting away as if she couldn't bear to meet his eyes. Richard's heart sank at the sight, but he pushed aside his own pain and tried once more to get her attention.

"Khana," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm here for you."

Khana nodded, her expression distant as she glanced at him briefly before turning away, which made Richard's heart clenched at the sight. And, such wounds cut deeper as she shrugged him off like a stranger, briefly conversing in a civil manner.

As they made their way down the hospital corridor, Richard spoke softly, trying to reassure Khana that everything would be okay. However, she remained distant, her mind seemingly elsewhere.

Once they were outside, Richard couldn't contain his emotions any longer. He pulled Khana closer to him to embrace, his tears mingling with hers as he whispered words of love and reassurance.

But Khana pulled away. Her expression was that of contentless paper as she uttered, "I need to go to the restroom."

Richard felt as if he had been punched in the gut. He had hoped that being by her side would help jog her memory, but it seemed that their love was lost not just in her memory, but the heart failed to recognize it as well. He fought back his tears as he struggled to find the right words to say.

"It's okay, Khana," he said, his voice trembling with emotion. "I'll escort you then."

She simply shook her head and replied, "I'll be back. I can handle myself."

He nodded his head and watched the figure of a lady as she mixed in the people in the corridor. 

While waiting, his phone suddenly rang, and upon checking, it was none other than his supposed mother-in-law; if only the wedding had gone through.

He took a deep breath before sliding his finger on the screen to respond to the call. 

"How is she, dear?"

"She's still the same, mom. She has this blank expression on her face as if your daughter loathes seeing me," he spoke softly on the other line.

"I beg you to understand her more than you already did. You see, my daughter is stubborn most of the time. You just have to make her remember you. Please don't give up on her. She easily gets mad when frustrated, so don't force anything all at once."

"I'll do my best, mom. It is just that I don't know what else to do. I already brought everything she likes to eat. The things she loved to read and the things she found amusing."

"I leave you two to have more time together. Bring Khana to the place you used to go. It might help her relax a bit while it may trigger something inside that brain of hers," says Khana's mother on the other line.

"I will do that, Mom. She's here. We'll go ahead."

"Alright, dear. Just let me know if you need help."

Richard hung up the phone and put it back in his pocket. He held her hand and escorted her to the shotgun seat. He kept throwing short glances at the lady beside him.

"Is there any place you would like to visit first?" He asked, trying to get her attention as she was busy looking outside. Luckily, the signal light turned red. Hence, he grabbed the opportunity to hold her hand.

The lady pulled her hand away and took the phone in her pouch. Then, she replied, "I just want to go home straight."

He faked a smile and replied, "As you wish, honey."

He wanted to insist on bringing her to the place they used to buy coffee. However, she seemed exhausted and not in the mood to stroll outside. Thus, he drove her home instead.

He opened the door for her as they arrived at Khana's apartment. The lady rested on the sofa bed at the sala, leaving him no choice but to watch her silently as she faked sleep.

Richard found himself sinking deeper and deeper into despair. He felt himself losing her a little bit more. Alone in his thoughts, Richard wept for the love they had lost, for the future they had planned together that now seemed nothing more than a distant dream. He longed to hold Khana in his arms, to feel her warmth and hear her laughter once more. But she remained distant, her heart closed off to him in a way he had never imagined possible.

While in deep thought, he remembered Bettina's words as he accidentally heard the two talking back then...

'Take some time to rest and reflect. Spend time with Richard, and perhaps you'll find clarity in your feelings. He has been by your side, serving you like a devoted partner. Wouldn't it break your heart to hurt someone as genuine as him?'

And in the darkness of his despair, Richard began to question everything he thought he knew about their love. Had Khana ever truly loved him, or had she simply been grateful for his support during her darkest moments? Had their relationship been nothing more than a figment of his imagination, a fleeting illusion that had vanished as quickly as it had appeared?