16: Closure

Richard's heart raced with anticipation as Khana agreed to go on a date with him. He had invested so much effort into arranging this before his urgent trip to China that he had no choice but to return to his hometown to fix the deficit project their company was facing, and now, finally, they were spending time together. As Richard and Khana sat across from each other at a quaint cafe, the atmosphere was warm, but Khana's mind was far from the pleasant surroundings. He couldn't help but steal glances at Khana, trying to decipher her mood. He kept looking at her, trying to read her mood. 

Richard hesitated to ask the lady to leave the country and be wherever he was. He's too afraid to trigger her irritation because she might walk away and refuse to open her heart. The gentleman wants to open her heart slowly but surely. He will never give up until she falls for him.

Khana, on the other hand, viewed this outing purely as a friendly hangout. Her mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, unable to shake the vivid scenarios she had conjured up—images of the priest and Sister Anissa smiling sweetly at each other. 

She breathed a heavy breath upon realizing how dirty her mind had become. It was too shameful to think malicious things about two innocent people who dedicated their lives to the church. She inwardly scolded herself. How could she allow her mind to turn so impure?

Richard was met with resistance when he attempted to reach for Khana's hand, hoping to establish a closer connection. He reached out tentatively, hoping to grasp her hand, but she shifted slightly, causing him to withdraw, wounded by her unintended rejection—or was it intentional? Doubt crept in as he observed her silent demeanor. 

Richard's heart sank. Was Khana deliberately avoiding his touch, or was it merely a coincidence? Doubt gnawed at him. 

Richard jolted when Khana suddenly excused herself, Richard could only nod in response, masking his disappointment behind a polite smile. Shortly after he watched her leave to find a lavatory. 

Meanwhile, Khana found herself staring at her reflection in the restroom mirror, her expression wrought with guilt and indecision. She studied how stressed she must've looked.  Today marked a milestone in her relationship with Richard—ten years together—but her heart was heavy with unresolved emotions from the past. Such long years together, however, it can't beat the 15-year feelings she still holds for that priest.

"I'm so wicked," she whispered to her reflection, chastising herself for the turbulent thoughts that had plagued her throughout the day. It wasn't fair to Richard, whom she had leaned on for years to escape the memory of Henry, her unattainable love.

Throughout their relationship, it looks like she just used him to forget Henry. "How did I become this wicked? I don't want to hurt him anymore," Khana murmured. At the back of her mind, she needs to end her wickedness to set her free from being trapped in uncertainty.

Determined to break free from this cycle of wickedness she's feeling, Khana's resolve is to seek guidance from the priest tonight. She needed clarity to move forward, although it may sound like an excuse. She decided to meet the priest as soon as Richard flew to China tonight. She thought to determine what she must do to go on; one must have an encounter with the source of chaos in her heart. 

"Tonight, I must know what I should keep," she uttered before turning her back from the mirror and leaving the lavatory, mustering the courage to confront her inner turmoil.

When Khana returned to the table, Richard offered her a warm smile, masking the uncertainty he felt inside. "Are you alright?" he asked gently, concerned by her distant demeanor.

Khana managed a faint smile in return, her mind still preoccupied with the impending conversation she would have with the priest. "Yes, just needed a moment," she replied, her voice tinged with a hint of apprehension.

As they continued their evening, Richard tried to engage Khana in light conversation, attempting to ease the tension he sensed emanating from her. 

"It's about time. Let me drive you home before heading to the airport," says Richard. 

Khana nodded her head, then vacated her seat. She took her sling bag and walked beside Richard. The latter has been glancing at the hands of the lady next to him. He wants to hold her hand while walking but chooses not to go overboard since the lady has not recovered some pieces of her lost memories. 

He simply clenched his fist and thought everything had been ruined since the priest's appearance. They could have been 'husbands and wives' now if only the lady had not hesitated, then Khana would not have gotten involved in that tragedy. He blames it on fate, most of all; if only fate did not play with their lives.

"No need to drop me home," says Khana without even meeting his gaze. She was too focused on the pavement.

Richard would have insisted if only the lady had not added, "I'll accompany you until your flight."

Once they arrived at the airport, Richard muttered his courage and asked Khana, "Would it be too much if I ask you to fly to China too?"

"I-I will think about it," she replied.

Later that night, after bidding Richard farewell, Khana made her way to the church where the priest resided. 

"Good evening. Isn't you the one who took care of Fr. Henry?" She was greeted warmly by Sister Anissa, who sensed the weight of Khana's visit.

"I'm here for confession. Can Father Henry accommodate my presence?" Khana replied with a hesitant smile. 

"I'll call him for you. Please wait in the confession room," The nun replied.

"Thank you," Khana replied. Then, she headed to the confession room.

Shortly after, she heard a sound coming from the other side of the room. 

"Is it you, Fr. Henry?" she asked.

"Please don't tell me this is just one of your excuses to meet me. This is a sacred place, Khana."

"How bold of you to assume it. However, you're not wrong anyway. I'm here to invite you over to my place. I want closure. Please meet me as I'll fly to China."

"I bet you are still distracted by my presence, which is why you are avoiding me. Do you still love me?"

"I don't"

"Then prove it. Meet me privately. I'll stop pestering you if you show me you are no longer affected."

She heard him sigh.

"Fine, but I won't last long. I'm doing this to let you know I am no longer affected, so stop assuming things," says Henry. He knew it was risky, but to end things, they must have a proper private closure...