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CHAPTER 25
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Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 26
Ugh, baby mama. I hated that term.I sighed and picked up Milka’s dolly. I smoothed her hair down and gazed out of the window. What would I do if they turned up here? How would I be able to protect Milka then?I was not naive. Sooner or later one of the gossips would figure out that Chloe Hudson’s secret baby was Conor Jame’s. Even if they didn’t know for sure, which they wouldn’t, they’ll guess. A lucky guess was all it’d take.Then every aspect of Milka’s life would be shredded and examined, ready to be exposed to every person in America. She’ll grow up in the public eye, constantly scrutinized for how she looks and acts. She’ll always be his daughter, never just Milka.I threw the doll in the toy box and dropped back onto the sofa. I never wanted this. I never wanted any of this for her. I never wanted us to hide once the truth was out.I never thought it would be such a big deal. I never thought it would matter to anyone beyond the Conor family. I never thought we’d be sitting the
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 27
"Bacon cheeseburger, obviously.”Bray winked and turned to the bar. I sat back in my chair and kept looking at the menu, even though I remembered it well enough. Ooh, chocolate fudge cake.“Excuse me? Is that Bray you’re with?”I blinked harshly and turned to the teenage girl standing next to the table with stars in her eyes. “Um, yes?”She inhaled excitedly and flapped her hands.Seriously, what was that?“Do you think you could get his autograph for me? Wait, are you on a date?”“I’m not sure, and no, we’re not. We’re friends.”“Oh, good. ’Cause I really love him.” She grinned widely, practically shaking.I stared at her. “I can ask him for an autograph when he gets back if you want, uh . . . ?”“Valentine,” she breathed.“Oh, look, he’s coming back now.” I gave Bray a look that told him to hurry the hell up.I was so not equipped to deal with fangirls.“What’s up, buttercup?” he asked, stopping next to the girl and setting our drinks on the table.Okay. Now she was shaking. And was
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 28
“He’ll probably ask me how long it took you to get inside my pants.” I sighed. “Then he’ll go all jealous and proceed to pin me up against a wall somewhere and kiss the shit out of me.”“You don’t sound so averse to the wall-pinning.”“Mmph,” I grunted as he pulled into my drive and I stared at the front door. “Know what I hate? I hate that we still feel the same as we did when I left Santa Monica. That fucking nothing has changed. I wish he could hate me without loving me at the same time, because then maybe I wouldn’t love him as much back.”“Still happy?” Bray turned in his seat and raised his eyebrows at me.I backhand slapped his chest. “I was. Once. Now all that gives me even a modicum of happiness is Milka. I love her, so much, Bray, but I wish I didn’t love her daddy. I wish with everything I have that I didn’t want him the way I do.”“You need to go to bed, Chloe,” he cut in.“Why? I’m only saying my thoughts out loud.”“I know. But I’m not the person you should be saying the
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 29
It was dumb as fuck in the first place. I knew Chloe and Bray didn’t have anything going on. Hell, he’s told me more than once that he only sees her as his sister. I couldn’t imagine her feeling anything for him, either.Shit, if she really feels for me like she says, then she can’t feel anything for anyone else.Truth is, I couldn’t believe her when she said she loved me. If she left once, she can leave again. If she can lie to me once, she can lie again. There was the bottom line—I loved her but I didn’t trust her. I didn’t trust her not to run and take Milka with her.I didn’t trust her to not take everything from me again. Because she was my everything. She was every beat of my heart and every breath I took. Maybe we’d never have lasted forever, but we were in the moment, and that was what mattered.Now we were stuck in a fucked-up limbo.We wanted each other, and we loved each other, but neither of us wanted to. That wasn’t the basis for any kind of relationship, not even friends
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 30
Going downstairs, I got Milka out of her high chair and brought her into the front room with me. She jumped off the sofa almost immediately and toddled over to her toy box. I let her go and turned on the TV.It was right there:IS THE LEAD SINGER OF DIRTY J. A DADDY?Yes. Yes, he fucking is, and it’s none of your damn business, you nosy bitch.Somehow I didn’t think Mark would be impressed if I sent that in to their “What Do You Think?” email address. The screen flicked to their reporter, and the backdrop was my house. I turned the volume up to listen.“ . . . since his coming out yesterday to carry some groceries in, there have been no sightings of Conor or, indeed, any of Dirty J.”Carrying groceries in was making news now? Don’t they have anything better to be doing?“And what’s the general consensus outside the house this morning, Hanna? Is there any truth to the reports?”“Unfortunately we don’t know. Dirty J’s representatives aren’t returning calls or emails, so one would assume
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 31
“I handled it just fine until I ended up playing personal assistant to three-quarters of Dirty J.” She frowned. “Is it like that everywhere you go? The girls all the time?”“You got caught up in that? Shit. They get . . . excited.”“Yeah, no kidding. Do girls often hand Aiden their underwear with their number scrawled inside?”My lips tugged up into a huge grin. “More often than you’d think.”“Classy.” She rolled her eyes. “Got any of your own?”“None that didn’t find their way into either the trash or my brothers’ pockets before I got back to my room.”I never took numbers. I never wanted numbers. Not theirs.“Really? I don’t believe that.”I shrugged. “You don’t have to, princess.”“Good thing, too,” she murmured, sipping her coffee. “Anyway. I shouldn’t have said what I did last night. It was out of order, so was pretending to go on a date with Bray. I’m sorry.”“I’d be apologizing for the shorts, personally.” My minds flashed back to that morning.And my eyes dropped to her hips,
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 32
The bitch wished.Conor continued staring at me, his eyes not flicking away for even a millisecond. “What did she tell you?”“Nothing that would bother me.”“Liar.”“Says who?”“Says your bright red cheeks. You always were a shit liar.”I snapped my eyes to him and grabbed my milk shake from the end of the table. “She tried to make me believe you two were . . . intimate . . . after I left.”Conor laughed, choking on his soda, and thumped his chest. “She told you what?”“Don’t make me say it again.” I screwed my face up and swirled my straw around my glass.“I wouldn’t fuck Tina with a ten-foot pole. No, ignore that. I wouldn’t touch her with a fifty-foot one, let alone fuck her with it.”“I don’t care.” I sipped slowly.“You should get your cheeks looked at. It can’t be good for them to be that red all the time.”“Screw you.”“You wish.”“You’re such a child.”“You bring it out in me. What can I say? I can’t help it.”“This is ridiculous. Did you really bring me to lunch so we could b
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 33
“Won’t your baby’s mom care?”“In,” he ordered me, shoving the car door open.I didn’t need telling twice. I threw myself into the car and he slammed the door. He ran around the front, shoving a photographer out of the way, and got in the driver side. He reved the engine in seconds, but it didn’t drown out their shouted questions.He pulled away from the diner. “We’ll have to go to my house. Your car will have to stay there. I’ll get you a rental.”“No point,” I muttered, sliding down in my seat. “They’ll probably know my name, address, and fucking bra size by morning.”He didn’t respond because he knew it was the truth. They’ll run the pictures and try to get as much information about the blonde girl with the scandal-surrounded singer. That was all that would matter to them.Who am I? And am I his baby’s mom?I brought my legs up and sunk my fingers into my hair, dropping my forehead to my knees. I knew this was a bad idea. I fucking told him so, and he didn’t listen to me.Every per
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Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 130
I was kind of annoyed at his short response, but I was equally amused at his smugness about it. And his amusement—damn, I wanted to laugh while I slap it off his handsome face.For the first time, it stroke me that this fake relationship could be rather dangerous.I stayed quiet as we drove down the country road that’ll take us to Percival Town, a couple of miles up the coast. I had been before—it was the stereotypical little beach town, more so than Santa Monica, even—but it wasn’t my favorite place. For one, the size of the town and its population made Santa Monica looked like a minuscule village unworthy of a supermarket or school of its own, and almost everyone who lived there acted like they were from a city, when they were not.We also had a high school football rivalry, so that could play in, especially since I was head cheerleader and may or may not have gotten into a catfight with Percival’s head cheerleader in senior year.Who also happened to be Titus’s girlfriend at the tim
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 129
IVANA“You’re going out with Titus James? Like on a date? Or out out? Or just as friends?” Sussy’s eyes bugged out of her head. “And you didn’t invite me?”I paused from applying my mascara and looked at her incredulous expression in the mirror. “Come right on into my room, Sus. It was okay. I only might have been naked, or you know, masturbating or something.”“That’s gross.”“So is your obsession with Dirty J.” I gave her a sarcastic smile and went back to my makeup. “But no, it is not a date.”“Uh-huh . . .” she trailed off, and when I screwed my mascara brush back into the tube, she shoved her phone at me. “Then why does Twitter say you’re his girlfriend?”I shrugged and brushed my bangs out. “I saw this meme on Facebook that said Abraham Lincoln once said you shouldn’t believe everything you read on the Internet.”My sister looked at me like I was dumb. “The Internet was invented after Lincoln died.”“Precisely. It’s called sarcasm.” I rolled my eyes and grabbed my phone from the
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 128
“You really want me to say it again?”She rubbed her hand down her face. “Are you insane? She hates you!”I smirked.“Titus . . .” She rolled her eyes. “Okay, obviously not that much, but a fake relationship? Do you even know what you’ve gotten yourself into?”“Yep,” Aiden replied for me. “Because unlike the rest of us, he’s the only one who’s had a successful relationship.”“As evidenced by the fact I am currently single,” I drawled sarcastically at my big brother. “Get a load of that success!”“Don’t be a little prick.”“Every big prick needs a little one.”“Dollars!” Milka shrieked, stomping across the room with her hand out and her chubby fingers clenching in a “gimme” motion. Dutifully, we both dug dollar bills out of our pockets and handed them over. “Tankoo.” She narrowed her bright blue eyes, then pointed at the space between us. “No fight! Bad Uncy Aid and Uncy Titus!”Chloe smiled behind her glass of juice.“She’s real bossy, you know that, right?” I looked at Chloe. “She’s
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER127
TITUSHoly. Shit.I was never, ever fucking putting this chick on the back of my bike ever again.If her arms around me wasn’t bad enough, it was her tits pressed solidly against my back and the fact I knew her pussy was rubbing my ass. Fuck. And in the tiny shorts she was wearing right now? It was a mega mindfuck.In fact, it was a fuck, fuck, fuck, kinda situation.As in why the fuck did I kiss her this morning? Why the hell did I bring her close just to shut her ex up? I shouldn’t give a shit. I should’ve taken the damn coffees, paid, and gotten the hell outta Dodge. But no. I had to plant some fucking seeds in Dodge, didn’t I? And then I had to water them by telling that douchebag that I’m her boyfriend.I had the funniest feeling that wasn’t gonna go down well.In fact, I was almost certain it was gonna go down like a shit ton of loose bricks in an earthquake.Still, though—I could feel her arms wrapped around me tightly, holding her body flush against mine, and it was different
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 126
“I always wondered what it’d be like to fuck you. Now I know.”“Isn’t this a conversation for your right hand?”“No, but it could be for yours.”“Only if that hand is around your neck.” I snatched said hand out of his and placed it on my hip. “What do you want? Why are you here?”“Come with me,” he said, his shoulders rising and falling. “Please?”“A James boy saying please? Did I die and go to hell? ’Cause y’all sure ain’t goin’ to heaven.”His lips twitched. “Vanny.”I took two steps away from him.“Ivana,” he corrected himself. “Come on. Just for ten minutes.”“Take me home,” I demanded, turning back to him. “Let me get changed, and then I’ll consider it.”He took a deep breath, his eyes intent on me as he obviously considered it. “Fine.” He grabbed my hand once more and tugged me between two buildings and onto Main Street.I shielded my eyes from the sunlight before sliding my sunglasses down as we stepped from the shadows created by the alleyway, almost falling after him. He led
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 125
“A frying pan to the face? Sure. Be my guest.”“Coffee, Ivana. I’d like to keep my job.”“Nah, it’s okay. I’ve gotta face him sometime.”“Ken!” She yelled into the kitchen at the chef. “Keep the fryin’ pans away from Jessie here!”“Yes, ma’am,” he called back, laughing.I might have a temper.“Y’all are like pins and needles in my ass,” I mumbled, finishing my coffee and putting the mug into the empty dishwasher. Adrina’s laugh rung through the café as she danced her way to the front door with the key dangling from her pointer finger.Chelsea was the first person through the door, and I blinked harshly. “Don’t look at me like that,” she hissed, stalking toward me. “You didn’t come home last night, did you?”“Say it a bit louder, Chels. I’m not sure my mom heard you.”She rolled her eyes and, glancing at the people behind her, ordered. “Latte, please, to go.” One more glance as I grabbed the takeout cup and she continued, “Why didn’t you text me? You should have texted me!”“Dude, seri
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 124
IVANAIt shouldn’t bother me.But, really, he must have a serious lack of class to just disappear while I slept.What kind of son of a bitch is Titus James? He’s sure as hell a disrespectful little shit, his sexual promises be damned. The fact he delivered on them can be damned, too.He’s real lucky I’m the kind of girl who sticks to her word. When I said no stories, no second times, no whatever it was I said while under the influence of cosmos, I meant it.As long as we never have to see each other again. That’d be fabulous. So basically, Santa Monica needed to expand by another few thousand people. Several thousand would be great. Like, twenty thousand.The chances of this happening are, I know, slim. But a girl can dream. A girl’s gotta dream if she wants to stay sane.A last-minute tour for Dirty J. would be epic. An impromptu concert on Mars would be even more epic.Jesus, what the heck was I thinking? Sleeping with Titus James? Did I have a temporary lapse in sanity last night?
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 123
Blondie’s smile dropped. “Yeah. Why? She your assistant or somethin’?”I smirked. “No, but I’m hirin’.”“Well, how about this.” She stepped forward and ran her finger down my arm. “I give you my number, and when you’re ready to interview, you can call me.”“Or how about you come back here this time next week and if I’m standing right here, you’ll know you got the job.” My lips tugged up even more.Agreeing to call a girl.Fuck. That.That was an amateur move.“Well played,” she whispered in my ear before stalking past me, making sure her tits brush my arm. Her hard, fake tits.I prefer real.The bathroom door opened and I looked up straight into the eyes of . . . my little sister. Leah took a deep breath and held her hand up at me, touching two fingers to her temples. Her ponytail swung as she shook her head. “Aw, hell no. I am not going to think about the fact that I just helped one of my best friends out of Spanx so she can fuck my brother.”She opened her eyes, and I scratched the
Dirty Little Secrets CHAPTER 122
TITUSIvana Lawson reached back and grasped my forearm firmly, shoving my arm away from her like I was fire and she was gasoline. “I mind you touching me,” she replied. “What’s takin’ so long?” she yelled to the bartender.“Chill out, Ivana,” I murmured, moving closer to her and meeting the bartender’s eyes. “Can you hurry with that, babe?”She nodded and within two seconds, a cocktail glass full of perfectly red-pink liquid was placed in front of us.“That’s—”“And a bottle of Budweiser, thanks,” I demanded before she said the price. “Put it on my tab.”“I can pay for my own drink,” Ivana argued, her eyes sparking with defiance.“Sure you can, but that don’t mean you’re gonna.”“It means I will.” She riffled in her purse and slammed a ten into my chest. “Thank you, Titus, but no thank you.”I took the crisp bill from her hand and crumpled it up, crooking my finger in the collar of her dress. She gaped at me in disbelief as I pulled the fabric from her body and dropped the balled-up n
