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Chapter 56
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Destroy Me: RAZE Chapter 1
Being part of Raze’s music production team has always been my dream job. Free lattes, awesome company, a great creative outlet, and most importantly, I get to work with the world’s most popular boy band right now. Not to mention they are all smokin’ hot. Imagine being around five of the hottest alpha males on the planet and getting paid. Who wouldn’t kill for that job right? Especially that one guy with the slightly crooked front tooth that I’ve come to find incredibly captivating. I’ve always watched him. How his body moved when he dances; how his lips purse before turning into a smile when he tries to fight it; how he bursts out laughing, throwing his head back in joy at the simplest things; how he looks so confident and charming even when he’s just standing there, hands in his pockets, sunglasses over his eyes, and a bored expression on his face. That sounds incredibly stalkerish of me but he’s just so sexy. Even the sound of his voice is sexy. The way he controls his breath
Destroy Me: RAZE Chapter 2
I have high hopes that today is going to be a good day, and do you know why? I’ll tell you why. Ethan Reed. I didn’t think I would see him this early in the day but the heavens are on my side. I'm on my way to the recording studio to meet with the only member of RAZE who is actually nice to me, Alexander. We aren't what you would call friends, but he’s one of the few people who recognize my skills as a producer. He promised to give me a quick lesson today. He’s producing a track for one of the rookie groups in the company and he agreed when I asked if I could come and observe. “Sure, come by anytime on Sunday.” He'd told me. “Working on the weekend gets a bit lonely, I could use the company, and your input.” Shocked, I reply stuttering. “I-input? Mine?” He looked confused at my answer as he replied, “Yes, yours. Who else am I talking to here?” He gestured around the room as if to emphasize his point. I looked around as well and definitely, I was the only other person there. “Rig
Destroy Me: RAZE Chapter 3
It takes one hair sweep from Ethan to make me fall in love with him on the spot. He didn’t even do anything cool! He just pushed his hair back, revealing his glorious forehead and I feel my heartbeat a mile a minute. It makes me question how deep my feelings for Ethan are, but I'm pretty confident in myself that I could still manage my feelings just fine. At this proximity, looking up to him is starting to make my neck hurt, so I quickly fixed that and stared at his shoes. It's just a crush, Keira. Calm down. I tell myself over and over until I could believe it. This will pass. It has to because I cannot afford to pine for a guy who would never go me. Guys like Ethan go for girls like Rina. Ethan's shoes are nothing like the rest of him. Where all over his body, new and designer items adorn him, his shoes are simple and plain; and if you ask me, they look kind of worn out. He seems to sense the question in my head before I could even form it. "I don't use designer training shoes beca
Destroy Me: RAZE Chapter 4
Weird. I never expected that to happen, especially not with Ethan. For the rest of our time spent in the studio, Ethan followed me like a puppy. He even insisted to go with me to get us some coffee, when the coffee machine was literally 10 steps away. “I don’t want to risk you burning yourself.” He says to me then. Confusion paints my face when I ask him, “It’s just coffee, it has been my job to get you guys coffee since I started working here. Don't sweat it.” It was his turn to be confused. “But that’s not your job, you’re a producer.” He says as he takes the coffee pot and pours the freshly brewed black liquid into three mugs. I send him a knowing smirk, taking two of the filled mugs from the table to carry into the studio. “Exactly. I'm only a producer by title. Which is why this opportunity means the world to me.” I leave him there to fill up the last mug and I make my way back to Alexander. “You two seem cozy,” Alexander comments as I place his mug down next to the console.
Destroy Me: RAZE Chapter 5
“And that was our very own DJ Brandy everyone!” The crowd’s cheers are deafening, along with some whines of disappointment. I can't blame them. I would be disappointed too if the best DJ was leaving for the night. I’ve been part of Club Myth’s DJ line-up for four months now, under the stage name Brandy. And again, like every other time that I'm spinning, tonight's Friday crowd is mesmerized. Ask anybody in the club to describe how they’re feeling as they move to my beats, to my music, and they’d answer like they are high on aphrodisiacs having the best sexual experience of their lives. That’s what Friday nights are all about anyway, it’s one of those nights where people flock into the club to get laid, and I had to match them with my music. With sensual sounds and heavy bass accompanying the strong, sexy dancers on the stage. It's also one of those nights when I let my music borrow my own voice to add to the crowd’s stimulation. Singing, humming, whispering, and at times moaning in
Destroy Me: RAZE Chapter 6
The past few days have been quite easy for me as Raze’s schedule is packed with live performances and interviews, they barely had time to work in the studio. Which means more time for me to focus on my music. Music that I would one day pitch to Raze. Today, I opted to hang around the dance practice rooms that the trainees are using. Before any of the artists become full-fledged, they have to undergo a series of grueling training sessions. Some of these sessions are led by artists themselves; sometimes even members of Raze become special instructors, all for the sake of creating the next popstar. The dance practice rooms in the company building vary in size. There are large ones dedicated to groups and smaller ones that individuals can use to practice and record their performances. There are even smaller ones which few people know about. Since the building had a major renovation when I first started here, bigger and newer practice rooms have been installed, and some of the older, sma
Destroy Me: RAZE Chapter 7
I ran out of there so fast, I could feel my heart pound in my ears and my lungs burned from the exertion. I was mortified. If I was avoiding Ethan before like the plague, now I was seriously contemplating resigning from work and moving to a different state. I couldn’t even imaging going into work tomorrow and bumping into him. Of all the people who could walk in on me in the dance practice room it had to be Ethan Reed. Surely, this must be some kind of a joke. If the universe is playing tricks, please let it be known I'm done playing. I only stop running when I made it out of the building. The oncoming traffic of pedestrians walking on the sidewalk made it impossible to keep running. Still breathing heavily, I raise my hand high up in hopes of hailing a cab quickly. I normally take the bus or the subway but I need a quick and effective exit in case Ethan decides to follow me out into the street. I don't dare look back until I was safe behind the doors of my apartment and the lock bo
Destroy Me: RAZE Chapter 8
In all honesty, I never want to set foot at Raze's company ever again. I want to change my name and move to a different country. And I have seriously thought about it. But Alexander’s text message telling me to meet him in the studio isn't something I could pass up. I've worked hard to get an opportunity like this. My pride would need to take a backseat for now. Reluctantly I get dressed casually in jeans and an oversized shirt. It's comfortable but decent enough to pass the main entrance. The oversized shirt kind of makes me look like a kid wearing her older brother’s clothes but I don't care. I like this style a lot. Like most days I half-assed putting on makeup. It's not that I didn't like wearing makeup, but I'm running late already. Whatever the results are, I need to live with it for the day. Though unusual, I opted for a baseball hat, something I can use to hide my face, just in case I run into Ethan in the building. I psyche myself up, telling myself how big the building is
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Destroy Me: RAZE Chapter 56
KeiraThe whole arena explodes into gasps and whispers. Normally, you’d be able to ignore whispers, but when twenty thousand people start to collectively gossip about you in your presence, then it starts to become bothersome.My eyes meet Ethan’s asking for help, but he offers me a determined look and a reassuring smile.“You’ve seen her in the news and tabloids, and I’d like to ask everyone to please leave her alone,” Ethan speaks with a sternness in his voice, that I’ve only heard him use on me a few times. “She didn’t ask for this—to be in the spotlight. It was my fault that this happened. So, any hate toward her should be directed at me instead.”The crowd starts to shout comforting words at him, then.“It’s not your fault!”“We’re sorry!”Ethan smiles at his fans and I’m glad that he has those who genuinely support him. “Thank you all for your support. I promise not to let you down again in the future. From this moment forth, I promise to always be honest with you… no more surpri
Destroy Me: RAZE Chapter 55
KeiraWhen the four members of RAZE came to me with VIP tickets to their concert, I knew they were up to no good.“I’ll take this as collateral,” Alexander tells me as he unclasps the necklace and keeps it in his pocket. I cried about my necklace that night. I missed it the moment Alexander took it from me. It felt like it has always been a part of me, and when they took it, it felt like a part of me was missing.I sat on it, slept on it, and pondered on it for a long time before I decided that I had nothing left to lose except the man that I love.So without finishing my shift at the club, I shoot Jax a message, apologizing for disappearing all of a sudden.JAX [8:42 PM]Hurry up or you won’t make it.Dumbass.Did Jax know about this? It wasn’t impossible given how Alexander, Ethan, and apparently Luke too were friends with him. I shoot Jax a quick thank you before running up to my uber.“Sir, I’m in a hurry. Please drive fast.” This wasn’t the first time that I had asked an uber dri
Destroy Me: RAZE Chapter 54
Ethan“It’s the final day! Let’s give it our best!” Alexander leads the group to cheer again and we scream together to hype each other up.The previous concert days have gone smoothly and I’m confident that I can give a perfect performance today as well and I have Keira to thank for that.I’ve received positive responses from the fans telling me how they love my new look. And how they wished they could have seen me in this concept earlier.It makes me smile, but I can’t tell them that this isn’t a concept. This is my real personality, plain and simple.The concert goes well and without a hitch. It wasn’t until Liam pulls me aside during Aiden’s solo song that I notice that the boys are antsy.“Hey, are you okay?” I ask curiously. “You’ve been jumpy since the concert started. Are you nervous about something?”Liam’s nervous look transforms into a confused one real quick. “Nervous? I’m not nervous. Maybe you’re nervous—”“Okay, Liam, I got this.” Alexander cuts him off and the look of r
Destroy Me: RAZE Chapter 53
EthanMaking sure I’m still safe in my hiding spot, I reread Keira’s message over and over. This is real, right? Did she message me? This isn’t just some mirage that I’d imagined because I’m so deprived of Keira in my life, right?Just as I’m wondering about the possibility of Keira sending me a message, another one comes in.KEIRA PATEL [10:16 PM]It’s annoying and Naomi’s starting to hate me.Stop.I didn’t dream it.Holy shit, she’s talking to me. I’m overjoyed. There’s a part of me that entertained the idea of Keira moving on and leaving me. I was hopeful but I must admit I was starting to think she’d never be able to forgive me for what happened. This doesn’t mean she has forgiven me, but talking to me is at least a step forward. I feared that she was lost to me forever, but I guess there’s still hope.Quickly, I type out my reply.ETHAN REED [10:16 PM]You replied!Wait.YOU CAN SEE ME?If she could see me then maybe Keira really is at home. I peer outside the window but I can’
Destroy Me: RAZE Chapter 52
EthanThe concert goes on as planned.Alexander huddles us together before the concert starts, like how he does at the beginning of every major event.“Everything that happened tonight, let’s forget about it and give all of our energy back to the fans who came here to see us. We owe all of our success to them and despite everything, they’re still here to support us. Let’s give them the show of their lives.”We all cheer after Alex’s speech and it was moving.As we wait in the wings as the opening VCR starts, Alex pulls me aside and crushes me with a tight hug.“I’m proud of you,” he says into my ear and I can’t help the sigh of relief that leaves my lips. “I’m proud of you, Ethan.”He lets me go and I’m too ashamed to face him.“God, I’m sorry, Alex—for everything—”‘You’Ve apologized enough,” he says with a smile and he claps a hand on my shoulder. “Whatever happens, we got you. We’re a team, remember? I’m sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t rely on me. But you always have my
Destroy Me: RAZE Chapter 51
KeiraI think I made a mistake. Whatever possessed me to think I could face the club owner sober?Jax is intimidating when I’m drunk, and he’s downright terrifying now that I’m sober. He stares at me like I’m prey and he’s a predator waiting for me to make a move before he devours me alive.“So?” he asks. Shit. He spoke first. Jax spreads his hands out in a welcoming manner. “I have a few minutes, go ahead. Plead your case.”“Okay,” I huff out and take a deep breath. “First of all, I’m really sorry about what happened. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. And believe me, it wasn’t my intention… I’d understand if you’d want to fire me if I brought any bad rep to your club—”One of Jax’s eyebrows quirks up in question. “You’re asking me to fire you?”“No!” I blurt out, eyes wide in panic. “No, I’m sorry. No, quite the opposite. I’m here to beg you for a job.”Phew. It’s out. I managed to get it out. Great job, Keira.Observing Jax, nothing changed with his demeanor. The same playful
Destroy Me: RAZE Chapter 50
KeiraAs promised, Naomi comes with me to Myth the next day. Feeling pretty much the same as I did yesterday, I had to bury myself in a shit-ton of makeup to hide the puffiness and dark circles.“Maybe if you hadn’t stayed up late watching The Notebook, then you’d have had enough time to sleep.” Yeah, Naomi had scolded me for it earlier too.Speaking of Naomi, I owe her a lot. From promising to cover my rent for this month and for canceling a meeting to come with me today, she has been the best friend anyone could ever ask for.So, as we walk up the steps of the club at nine in the morning, I make a promise to myself that if I manage to convince Jax to let me work extra hours here, I would give something back to Naomi for being such a good friend.But to ask Jax for a favor, I need to be able to see Jax first. The man is illustrious and he’s almost always never accepts a walk-in meeting. But my good friend Chris promised he’d ask on my behalf.“Hey boo, how are you holding up?” Chris
Destroy Me: RAZE Chapter 49
EthanWell, this is a fucking mess. When I arrived at Patrick’s office, the other members are waiting too. With Patrick still in his meeting with the president, we’re stuck here until further notice.“Well, it’s nice of you to show up,” Aiden greets me as I take a seat, sandwiched between him and Alexander on the colorful couch. Luke and Liam are on the twin bean bags on the floor playing on their phones.“I’m sorry, I got held up…” but I let it hang because when I turn to face Aiden, he doesn’t seem upset like I thought he’d be. In fact, Luke and Liam look indifferent as well. It’s only Alexander who seems to have a furrow on his brow.Standing up, I address the room. “I’m sorry I got you all in this mess.” I got their attention with that, but I know they deserve more than a half-assed apology. “I’m gonna work with Patrick to clear this up quickly.”Liam stands up then claps a hand on my shoulder and offers me a small smile. I return his smile with a grateful one. Among the men her
Destroy Me: RAZE Chapter 48
Ethan“No! No, I didn’t!” I yell out, frustrated and dejected from today’s events. With my phone connected to the car, I can talk to Patrick while driving back. “The breakup was civil! I don’t understand why Rina is lying, but don’t trust her.”I rub a hand over my mouth in frustration. It just goes to show that anything is indeed possible. What I thought would be the happiest day of my life turned out to be a nightmare. One moment I was laughing with the love of my life, tangled in the sheet, and now I’ve managed to involve her in a dating scandal.I’m such a loser. I should have immediately gone after Keira. But instead, I wallowed in self-pity for the better half of the morning before I got my shit together and called my manager.I should have expected that the media would twist this into a scandal. And Rina… that wench. I should have known she was capable of something like this. It must have been her who leaked the photo from my neighborhood. She’s the only one who knew about it t
