01. Shame & Plead

 Claire POV

It was the third time Agatha and Jane had dumped a bucket of something gross on my head, ruining the outfit I had planned to wear for this morning's prayer service. It was now all dirty and smelled terrible.

"Ha! Look at you! This is a great lesson for daring to go against Agatha's orders!" Jane laughed as she plopped the empty bucket on my head.

The stench was awful. I could tell it was a mix of dishwater and whatever mop they had used.

As if that wasn't enough, Jane kicked me, and I ended up on the ground, my clothes now muddy and my body aching.

"I really don't get it. Why didn't you just choose to disappear? Who gave you the right to stick around and waste our church's money, making our parents spend more just to feed you?" Agatha kept ranting while banging the bucket on my head. The noise was unbearable and made my ears ring.

I yanked the bucket off, and the horrible smell and noise got to me. I tossed it away, making Jane and Agatha even angrier.

Agatha grabbed my hair and forced me to look at the sky tangled in the white clotheslines. 

We were behind the church, where the nurses and I used to wash all the dirty sheets. In the middle of the clothesline, Agatha treated me like some filthy pig stuck in the mud.

"You little brat! An orphan and nobody like you should be thankful we even let you breathe. If it weren't for the donations from our parents, you'd be just another skull in the trash!"

My neck throbbed, and the sun burned my eyes. Agatha glared at me with a hatred I couldn't comprehend, and I felt powerless to fight back.

"What's with that face? You think you can stand up to me? You don't like hearing the truth?" she shot back.

I shook my head, pleading for her to let me go. But Agatha only got angrier, and then Jane chimed in with her shrill voice.

"Hey, bitch! You think you can treat Agatha like that?!" Jane shoved my head down, knocking me to the ground, and now I was covered in mud.

"I would've told my dad to stop donating to the church if I had to see you there every morning."

I was stunned by Agatha's words. I scrambled to my feet and reached for the hem of her pants, begging her not to ask her parents to cut off the donations that kept the church and the dormitory where I lived running.

"Please, I'm begging you, if your dad pulls the funding, the sisters will lose everything that keeps them connected to the church," I pleaded, my voice rough. But Agatha just kicked me. 

"Do you really think I care about your begging? Oh, please, if you want to kiss my shoe, maybe I'll think about it," she shot back.

Kissing someone's filthy shoe? That's not what I want. But if Agatha cuts off the funds, the church will close, and all the nuns and street kids who've found a home there will be left out in the cold again.

"What are you waiting for? Get on with it! Or do you want Sister Alberta and the others to end up homeless?" she threatened, leaving me with no other option.

"No, please, I can't let that happen."

"Then do it now!"

Without any doubt creeping in and tears welling up, I stepped forward, trying to do what Agatha demanded. I leaned down to kiss the muddy toe of her shoe.

Just as I was about to kiss the toe of her shoe, Agatha kicked me right in the face, sending me crashing down again while both girls burst into loud, satisfied laughter. 

"Honestly, my shoes are way too pricey for your spit to get on them. That's so gross," she said, tossing her long, straight red hair over her shoulder. 

Meanwhile, Jane was just cackling at me, treating me like some silly clown who was cracking her up. 

"I'm telling you one last time, back off from Hendrik! Or I'll kill you. Do you understand?"

Agatha then kicked some muddy water at me, splattering my face and getting mud between my eyes. The sting and the overall grossness made me whimper. 

After that, Agatha and Jane walked away, leaving me sobbing in the muck with a terrible smell all around. 

The sun was high, and I knew the morning worship would wrap up soon. I couldn't let the sisters, the priest, or anyone else see me like that. With the weather getting chillier since September, I needed to change out of these wet clothes fast before I caught a cold.

I can't remember how long Agatha and Jane have treated me like this, but it's nothing new.

I always knew Agatha had fallen in love with Hendrik, the church's administrative assistant, and she would get super jealous whenever I chatted with him. But really, our conversations were about the dormitory kids and the church stuff—nothing more.

So, I decided to head back to the dorm, wash off the mud, and keep all this from the abbess, my adoptive mom, Sister Alberta. She's like this old She-Wolf who never raises her voice at me, no matter what I do.

The church is really well-kept and lovely, with the congregation coming in regularly to pray and worship. Thanks to the Alpha and some generous folks in the Pack, including Agatha's parents, who often drop off clothes and other essentials, the church's finances and the dorm's needs are pretty stable—no worries about running out of supplies.

But even with all that financial support, the dorms are far from decent. They started as an old, abandoned building about a hundred meters from the church, surrounded by a thick forest that makes it feel more like a haunted house than a place to live. Sister Alberta was the only one taking care of the dorm until I was left at the church, and then she took me in, so now we share the space together.

Sister Alberta has been my rock for years, raising me, supporting my education, and treating me like a true She-Wolf. She's not just my caregiver; she's my everything.

I paused at the dorm entrance, which had a much nicer front yard. It was quiet since Sister Alberta led the morning prayer with the other sisters. She'd probably scold me for not joining in once the prayer ended.

I freshened up, showered, and headed to the back laundry room to wash my clothes. I was determined to eliminate bad smells. I wasn't sure how long it would take, but by the time I finished hanging them out to dry, Sister Alberta had already arrived.

"Oh my goodness! Clare, what are you doing here instead of at church? Is everything okay?" I could hear the concern in her voice as she fired off questions.

"Wait, what's this?" she exclaimed, touching my face. It hurt, and I instinctively pulled away from her hand.

The sixty-year-old woman in her black and white Rosario looked at me with tears in her eyes before asking, "Sweetheart, who did this to you? Please, just tell me."

I stumbled over my words, worried I might have upset Sister Alberta. Trying to smooth things over, I started to make up a story: "I tripped in a puddle behind the church, hit my head on the ground, and there was a rock. That's why it hurts, Sister."

Sister Alberta just stared at me, not saying a single word. I had a feeling she could see right through my lie. I didn't want her to ask me any more questions, so I quickly shifted the topic to what we could whip up for dinner for the kids in the dorms after school.

"We still have some potatoes, a few slices of bread, and some eggs. Should I cook something with those, or are we stuck with porridge again?" I tried to steer the conversation away, hoping to distract her from the bruises on my face.

When Sister Alberta remained silent, I looked down, embarrassed about lying to someone who cared so much for me. Just a few moments later, she gently touched my face and, with a warm smile, spoke to me in her soothing voice.

"Let's finish cooking the rest of the potatoes and whip up something tasty for the kids," she suggested. Once we're done, we can head inside for some soup; you must be feeling chilly." Her smile was very beautiful, and it eliminated my worries that maybe she would be angry because she didn't find me at church this morning. 

"Sure thing, sister."

I could tell sister Alberta knew my intentions, but she might not want to complicate things further. She could have reacted with anger, but she held back. After that, sister Alberta led me into the dormitory, and I followed her into the kitchen. Just before I entered, I had this strange feeling that someone was watching me.

I turned to glance at the backyard. It wasn't a huge space, but a small forest surrounded the dormitory. The thick vegetation made the little forest seem eerie, even though it was daytime.

I squinted, thinking I spotted a figure among the trees. It was a tall guy dressed in all black, staring at me intently. But it wasn't just him; several others were doing the same. My curiosity piqued, but fear quickly pushed me to catch up with sister Alberta and lock the back door to keep the men out of the dormitory.