Chapter 1

Chapter 1

LAYLA’S POV

I stood before the tomb of my late dad. I missed him so much and wished he could be here with me but it’s so sad that death took him from me. When I was done mourning and talking to my dad, I looked and saw Nate staring and waiting for me.

I have been married to Nate for a year plus but we don’t love each other ___well he didn’t love me and to me I just felt like I was a barrier obstructing him from living his life. My marriage to Nate was just us fulfilling my dad’s wish before he passed, he has always wanted us to be married before he died so we had to do it which makes me feel so guilty, and he needed to be with the woman he loved and not me.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asked. I loved the way Nate always became soft whenever I visited my dad.

Because that was the only few times he showed care about me.

“Yeah” I assured him,He left a faint smile on his face.

“Should we get going?” he asked

“Yeah” I gave a faint answer.

….

We were on our way home with a deafening silence surrounding us, no one wanted to invade in anyone’s privacy or make anyone uncomfortable.

“How’s work” he asked.

Why does he act like he actually cares when I know he is just doing it out of responsibility,this is actually weird but I will play along with him.

“Uhmm…” I cleared my throat “well it has been fine recently.” I didn’t know if I should go deep into the conversation or just leave it be because this was one of the rare times in our so called marriage.

He cleared his throat and suddenly everywhere got cold. This was something regular because awkwardness was our best friend in this marriage.

“Okay.” he replied giving me the cold face as usual.

“Uhmm… yeah” What was I thinking anyway,what do I expect when I know the results already. I couldn’t wait to get home and out of this car.

We didn’t talk to each other for the rest of the car ride till we got home. I was thankful to God that we got home quickly, I hurriedly left the car like I was being pursued by a killer which made me feel a little guilty.

I walked inside the house heading straight to my room…. Yes we had different rooms and I didn’t mind it at all.

I took of my clothes planning that I am going to call Amanda after my bath because the heat from that car got to me. I went to bathroom to take a shower and when I was done I rushed to pick up my phone. Amanda always knows the right time to call me. Amanda was one of the few people that knew that I was, married to Nate because she was my best friend and she needed to know.

“Hey babe” I greeted.

“Hey Mrs. Daniels.“she teased

“I’ve told you to stop calling me that, I don’t have the right to his name because I’m not really his wife” I explained for the 100th time

“Well I don’t care what you say, you are legally married to him and you have the right to bear his name.” she also repeated for the 100th time. One thing about Amanda was that she never ceased to remind me that I was married to someone that didn’t love me which is also a reminder that I was hindering him from falling in love and being happy.

“I know you are already thinking about you hindering him from falling in love with someone else” oh yes! I forgot to say that Amanda could read my mind.

“I can’t keep deceiving myself that I’m not at fault. He is my husband. I mean I live with him and I see how cold and awkward he is around me,” I explained reflecting on the time when we were always awkward around each other. It had always broken my heart to see us that way, even thinking of it right now made me sad.

“Well should we just forget the part that you just admitted that he was your husband?” she teased. I hated whenever she teased me about Nate because it always hit different for me.

“Yes I think we should forget my mistake miss Amanda” I pleaded which made her laugh.

“okay ma… now for your husband, I feel like you should give yourselves time to love each other and stop all this fuss you guys are causing between yourselves” she advised

“I don’t think he wants me because recently the coldness and awkwardness I’ve been receiving from him has been extreme than normal” I had been thinking about this and it has been one of the hardest things to think about because I still wanted to keep the promise I made to dad but at the same time, Nate has been acting extra weird.

“ I still feel like you guys should give yourselves time to get to know and love each other more” I knew that Amanda wanted the best for me but to say the honest truth I don’t think we can be anything more than acquaintances, I don’t think Nate sees me that way or will ever see me that way.

“Where is Nate by the way” she questioned making me remember that I had to cook.

“He has a late night shift today and I actually just remembered that I need to make supper for him.” I announced making Amanda squeal.

Nate is a surgeon at the city’s hospital. The fact that he was able to get this job at this young age made me super proud of him and self-conscious at the same time. I didn’t have to rely on his money as a college student but he was giving me pressure.

“You guys are just so cute but you don’t realize it yet.” She squealed. It felt so weird to hear her call us cute because we were far from that.

“I’m not even going to bother stopping you because I know that you’ll still think what you want to think so I have to go prepare dinner.” I got ready to end the call because I didn’t want him to eat late.

“Okay Mrs. Daniels, go take care of your husband.” She yelled making me wince for my eardrums. I didn’t try to correct her because Amanda Is very stubborn and she wouldn’t end the call until I admitted she Is right which I did not have the time for.

“Bye Amanda”

“Bye Mrs. Daniels” she laughed before ending the call.

I don’t really know why I’m playing the wife role in this home. Am I trying to win over his heart which I have already failed? Or am I just trying to compensate him for marrying me? I don’t really want to think about it

I got dressed and headed for the kitchen and I was welcomed with the deafening silence of the house which meant that Nate had gone for his shift. I am free tonight which meant that I am going to be here alone.

Why not get myself busy by cooking? I thought and decided to continue my process of the food.

I might not be the love of Nate’s life but at least I am his housemate or whatever we are, I still cared for him and his health. We weren’t the regular married couple and not everyone knew about us which is very good to avoid questions. Although sometimes it kind of bothered me that Nate isn’t wearing his ring but I always knew that his type of job didn’t require much jewelry or accessories. Sometimes I really wish we could be normal and consummate our marriage but Nate doesn’t have any romantic feelings for me to even have sexual intercourse with me.

It takes a lot for me to not think about divorce. I really want to set him free from this prison called marriage.

should we really call it a marriage if we didn’t really do a big wedding? I couldn’t even define us.

I was done with cooking and I decided to pack it to send to the hospital. I got ready to leave for the hospital and headed to the garage, I got in the car and left for the hospital.

I stepped into the hospital and everyone started greeting me, they knew I was here to meet Nate. They knew we were acquaintances but they didn’t know we were married. I was heading for Nate’s office when I overhead some nurses talking about some lady that came to see Nate. I’ve never seen any lady that wasn’t a patient visit Nate before so this was weird.

Who were they talking about? And who was this lady?

TBC