Chapter 005

~KATERINA~

I flickered my eyes softly to get rid of the blurry vision. My eyes felt sore and so was my throat and stomach. I looked around, trying to recollect the memories of what had transpired to my exhaustion. My heart twisted inside my chest as though someone was squeezing it into a tiny ball and it was becoming hard for me to breathe when reality hit me.

I was laying on the bed, wearing the same red dress. The side of the bed was empty and cold, reminding me that I was officially divorced from Lucas. I stared at the brown envelope which was laying on the bedside table, the proof that it was over between Lucas and I. He didn't come back to our room at night after he left. He spent the night in the guest room. I waited for him, thinking that he would change his mind and come back to me so that we could talk but…. I was disappointed instead.

I couldn't remember how I fell asleep. The only thing that I recalled was wrapping my hands around my belly protectively as tears continued to stream down my cheeks. I felt tears burn in my eyes but I blinked countless times to hold it back. Taking a deep breath, I climbed down from the bed and headed to the bathroom to refresh because I was feeling out of place.

When I was done in the shower, I changed into comfortable clothes. I stared at my reflection in the full length mirror before me, my lips curving into a sad smile. My hand found its way to my belly and I caressed it gently.

" I'm sorry my love." I muttered under my breath, feeling drained of energy." Mommy tried to fight for you but…" I paused then heaved a deep sigh, the words too heavy on my tongue.

" I failed you and I'm so sorry. I really tried my best." A single teardrop rolled down my cheek. I never wanted my child to grow up in a broken family. I wanted to raise my child in a complete family so that she could receive the love of both parents. I know how heartbreaking it is to grow up with a single parent. You might have everything but…there's this hollow in your heart that nothing could ever fill. My heart ached inside my chest when I gave it a thought. Taking a deep breath, I wiped tears from my eyes using the back of my hand.

"I may not be able to give you a complete family but I'll be by your side every single day of your life. Mom will always be there for you and protect you from anyone who wants to harm you. From today onwards, it's just you and mommy.." I said in determination, the corner of my lips curving into a small smile.

It hurt to admit the truth but that was the sad reality. I imagined raising our baby together with his father, showering her with lots of love. That will forever be a dream because it'll never happen in this life. Perhaps in the next life. I think sometimes things don't go the way we wish for and we have no choice but to accept reality no matter how painful it is.

It was a hard decision for me to make but I think it was the best decision that I have ever made in my life. I would never wish for my child to grow up in an unhappy family. I would rather raise her all alone than risk my child growing up in a messed up family.

I left the room and headed to the dining room. Even though I didn't have an appetite, I needed to eat for the sake of the life growing inside me. I wasn't able to eat yesterday night because of how things turned out between Lucas and I.

" Mrs Thompson, breakfast is ready." Liz informed me when I met her on my way to the dining room. She gave me a sweet smile like she always does.

" Thank you Liz." I said, trying my best to put on a smile even though deep down I wasn't feeling okay. Liz headed to the kitchen direction while I headed over to the dining. My heart sank deep inside my stomach when I entered the dining room. The food was on the table but there was no one around. The head of the table where Lucas usually sits everytime we eat together was empty. There's this stupid part of my heart that hoped maybe Lucas would be in the dining room having breakfast. I should have known better not to expect much. Heaving a deep sigh, I walked to the table and settled down.

After taking two bites of my favourite lettuce sandwich, I placed the remaining piece back on the plate. As much as I was trying to force myself to eat, I couldn't eat that much. The food tasted bland, my taste buds unable to recognise my favourite food.

My mind jolted back to the present when the door clicked open and I couldn't help but turn my head to check who had entered the room. Mr Andrew stood at the door and by the look on his face, I could tell that he already knew what was going on between me and Lucas. I think Lucas had already told him the whole story since the two are close, more like father and son.

" Good morning Mr Andrew, how can I help you?" I inquired, trying my best to keep my voice steady. He was quiet for a while, as if he didn't know how to reply to my question.

" I have come to check on you Katerina. I know that…it's not all well between you and Lucas." I swallowed when I heard his words, it felt like a sharp dagger that pierced my heart without mercy. I nodded to his words in confirmation.

" I have watched the two of you grow up together from little stubborn toddlers to a young beautiful lady and man. If it were up to me, I would want to watch the two of you support each other and grow old together. It's such a shame that I won't have the privilege to witness that." I could feel the sadness in his words. I could see it in his eyes too. His words were so touching that I felt tears burning in my eyes but I blinked countless times to hold it back.

It's true Mr Andrew has watched Lucas and I grow up. He always treated us as if we were his children. Whenever we got hurt while playing, he would help us take care of the wounds. Whenever we did something wrong, he used to correct us. When my dad became distant to me, Mr Andrew acted like a father, always guiding me in the right direction.

A single teardrop rolled down my cheeks and I wiped it away using the back of my hand. My lips curved into a smile when I recalled everything that Mr Andrew has done for me. If there's someone who has a kind heart in this world, it's him.

" I guess…" I paused to catch a breath, the words weighing me down.

" I guess sometimes we don't get what we want and it's perfectly fine." My voice broke at the end of the statement…

_________

I stared out of the car window blankly, holding the brown envelope on my lap. I asked James to drive me to Thompson's fashion company so that I could give Lucas the divorce papers since I had already signed…

My chain of thoughts was interrupted when the car stopped.I looked around and realised we had already arrived at the company. I took a deep breath, trying my best to compose myself.

" Thank you." I told James when he opened the car door, getting out of the car. I inhaled deeply then walked to the tall build and entered. The employees greeted me and I flashed them a small smile in return.

" Mrs Thompson, you have a board meeting in the next thirty minutes." The secretary informed me. I inhaled sharply when I heard her words. I wanted to tell her that I wasn't Mrs Thompson anymore because Lucas and I are divorced. However, I chose to remain quiet because I didn't want unnecessary drama. Slowly, I turned to look at her, my lips curving into a small smile.

" I don't think I'll be able to hold the meeting, Judith. How about you fix the meeting in Mr. Thompson's schedule?" I asked and she frowned when she heard my words.

" O-okay…" She nodded hesitantly. I excused myself and headed to Lucas's office, the C.E.O of Thompson's Fashion company. I knocked on the door and he granted me the permission to enter. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door and walked inside. His face changed subtly when he realised that it was me. The gentleness on his face faded away and his eyes were hard to read.

The memories that Lucas and I shared in his office flooded in my head. I recalled how he used to bend me over the vintage table when nobody was watching and made love to me. I swallowed the lump down my throat and pushed the memories at the back of my head.

" I have brought the divorce papers. I have already signed them." I explained briefly, placing the papers on the huge vintage table carefully. Lucas didn't say a word, he looked at me then shifted his attention to the brown envelope on the table.

" My resignation letter is inside the envelope as well. I think…that would be best for us." My lips curved into a small smile. I have been working as Luca's assistant for the past four years that we have been married. He's a good working partner, I have to admit it. However, I don't think it was a good idea for us to continue working together since he didn't trust me anymore…