CHAPTER FIVE
MALAKAI
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It's over...
My life...
My secret crush...
Everything is over!
I'm trembling like a leaf on a windy day as I wait for another message that doesn't arrive. Fear dries up my lungs, I don't think I'm breathing for the several minutes that follow.
Who is the sender?
How did he access my device even though it is password-protected?
Why wait until now to message me?
These thoughts are floating through my mind as my shaky fingers start to type;
' Who are you...?'
It takes a lot of courage to click on the sending option, even breathing becomes difficult as I wait for a response.
The message tickles twice
They read it...!
I can't stop trembling; I bit on my thumb hard enough to draw blood. The sharp pain combined with the metallic taste that floods my mouth.
Seconds slowly turn into minutes and then hours. And there is still no response.
' What do you want?...' I type again, I continue to check my phone.
I'm glued to my spot on the bed, several hours have passed since my second message, they read it, and still no fucking reply. I want to scream, but dread dries up my throat.
This person is clearly toying with me. The delay is torturing me.
It is almost midnight when my phone suddenly buzzes with a new message from the sender. My eyes widen as I read,
A location!
It's already so late in the night, how is it safe to leave the house at this time?
I don't have a choice, even if it's dangerous, this stranger has my life in his palms.
I can only obey.
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I arrive at the address, it's surprisingly close to school, now that I'm here, I'm suddenly too afraid to enter, it's not just any building, It's a nightclub.
Apprehension settles in my stomach and I'm sweating.
Even though it's midnight, the surroundings are bustling with young people.
' How long are you going to keep me waiting? Come inside; I'm getting impatient! ' I flinch at the new message.
This person can see me? I look around nervously but don't find anyone suspicious.
Stepping into the club feels like I'm walking to my death.
The inside is even more flooded with people and the blaring sound of music makes it difficult to hear anything.
How do I even locate this person?
A hand suddenly wraps around my shoulders from behind and I jerk around.
Tate?
My heart is pounding so hard, is he the person blackmailing me?
He's grinning at me and I clench my fists tightly.
"I didn't think you were the type to come to a club!"
Well, you fucking brought me here!
"Hey, isn't this the preacher's kid?" Jeremiah walks towards us, extending a bottle to Tate.
Isn't this alcohol?
It's illegal, right?
"Who cares, let's ensure that he has a good time!" Tate drags my arm and leads me towards the counter; he starts to pour me a drink, and I ignore his extended hands.
"Tell me what you want!" I say impatiently, unable to keep the anger from my voice.
"I'm just..."
My phone buzzes with an incoming message, I open it, and my phone nearly slips from my hand. I stare at Tate in confusion, he isn't the blackmailer!
"What's wrong?"
"Where's the last floor?" I stand up from my seat.
"Why do you want to go there? The party is happening right here!"
I ignore Tate calling me and start to race up the stairs, I only have 30 seconds!
I'm breathing heavily, everywhere is quiet in this place, unlike the blaring noise from below.
But this place is empty. Where the hell is the sender?
I hear the sound of the door opening and a familiar voice that has my blood turning to ice.
"Are you looking for me?"
I turn around instantly to see the shadow standing in the doorway.
He steps into the light and my heart stops to beat.
Pierce.
Why is he here?
No way...
I refuse to believe that he's the person who found out about my secret.
"Am I so unbearable to look at? I don't like the look on your face." He walks towards me and I instinctively take a step back.
God, please, let it not be him!
I doubt even the Lord will be inclined to answer my prayers, what I'd done is a sin. Is this my punishment?
Pierce takes another step forward, a cruel grin plastered on his face; I flinch when he grasps my chin, tilting my face to meet his dark stare.
"Why are you silent? I thought you really needed your photos"
My blood freezes as I meet his cocky gaze.
I smack his hand from my face, my entire body vibrating with anger,
"Bastard! How dare you go through my laptop, it's my privacy!"
Pierce meets my glare with a smile that showcases his perfectly set dimples.
" If I were you, I would change that tone unless you want everyone to know what kind of a perverted creep you are!" His smile suddenly vanishes, replaced by a cold glare.
"You usually look so innocent, who knew you have such a disgusting little secret... I guess it's really the quiet ones that have a lot to hide"
"What do you want? Since you called me here, you must want something." I say with more courage than I feel. I'm trembling with fear deep within.
Why, of all people, it just has to be him...?
Pierce already hates me, now that he knows my secret.
He's going to make me suffer.
"I don't like talking here, it's more comfortable inside. Shall we?"
I scoff at his extended hands, why is he acting like a gentleman when he's threatening to expose me?
He places a hand on the small of my back. His touch is firm, I feels like I'm being imprinted by a burning iron. I follow him obediently like an animal to be slaughtered.
Walking into my doom.
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CHAPTER SIXMALAKAI**Pierce ignores my questions, he merely walks to the side of the room to pour himself a drink and makes himself comfortable on the couch in the room.He takes a sip of his drink, watching me through the rim of the glass, seeming to enjoy every second of my anxiety."What do I want? Hmm, now what do I want, you tell me?" He taps his jaw with a finger. This fucker!What's he being so dramatic for? I'm still furious that he invaded my privacy.Pierce takes another sip of his drink and extends the glass towards me.Is he expecting me to drink from the same glass? I can't even hide my disgust as I stare at him."I don't drink alcohol," I say, which isn't a lie. "Well, you're gonna," Pierce says softly, but I can hear the threat laced in his voice. His hand remains extended. Right now, he practically calls all the shots; I guess I really don't have a choice.Just a drink right? If this is all it takes...I snatch the glass from his hand, pour the entire contents
CHAPTER SEVENMALAKAI **Why is Lana here?'...Maybe I don't want anything; I'm just going to show Lana what a disgusting prick you are; that's what's going to satisfy me. ' Pierce's words replay in my head and dread tightens up my insides, sobering me up for some seconds. I never knew that Lana even attended parties, and she looks so different tonight, dressed in a sleeveless black dress that hits just below her ass, showing off her long sexy legs, her face is covered with makeup. She's so fucking beautiful and in another situation, I would have loved to take a picture, but right now, I'm filled with apprehension.What is Pierce planning to do?If he tells her, she will never look at me the same again.Lana hating me is my greatest fear.I meet Pierce's gaze in panic, and the bastard has the nerve to smile at me, I guess he can see how distressed I am."I thought you'd forgotten about me, I'm happy that you finally messaged me..." Lana says, even from the distance, I can see the
CHAPTER EIGHTMALAKAI **The memories continue to haunt me. It's been almost one week, and I'm still tormented by that night. I've even tried to convince myself that it didn't happen, but my lips are still tender from where he'd bitten me, it's almost as if he'd purposely left behind the evidence. Why did Pierce act so wild that night? Maybe he was so drunk and had lost his fucking mind, that's the only reasonable explanation I can come up with. I bet he regrets that night as much as I do. He's dating Lana and has hated so many girls in the past, so there's no way he's gay. I shake my head at the thoughts. Why can't I forget?!I've skipped school these days because I don't want to face him, the thought of seeing him fills me with so much anxiety.This is the first time I've ever skipped school, I lied to my parents about being sick. It isn't even a lie because mentally, every cell in my brain is shutting down, it only gets worse the more I try to think. Pierce has been bombar
CHAPTER NINEMALAKAI **I search for Pierce like a maniac the moment I enter school, I manage to locate him during football practice, he stands out easily from the rest of his popular friends. Tate and Jeremiah are discussing with him. I'm not the only one watching him. How does he have the attention of almost all the girls without even doing anything?My footsteps halt. Everyone always wants to be around him. They want to listen to whatever he says, why do they all want his approval? Is it only because his family is rich? His personality is shitty but they're all admiring him like an angel who's fallen to earth. Pierce has so many people around him, how did he even notice me? I've always been unnoticeable; no one cares about what the pastor's kid has to say; why is Pierce so determined to drag my shadows into the light, exposing me for all to see?It's better to meet him in this public place, at least, I know he won't do anything weird, but my body grows tense at the thought of
CHAPTER TENMALAKAI **Pierce gives me only until the end of the day to make my decision, but I mean, how can anyone possibly respond to what he's proposing?And time seems to be going by too fast today, how is it the last period already?Why is Pierce so intent on having sex with me? Is this even still about revenge?I shudder at the memory of his stiff erection, he says he just wants to fuck me, but what the hell is even that?My sanity is at its wit's end. I feel soulless as I gather my study materials from my locker."Hey,"I jump at the sound of the voice, the most unbelievable person is standing in front of me.Lana."I've been looking for you all over the place."Her words tense me up. Can it be that she recalls the last time? I'm already panicking because of Pierce, if it gets worse than this, I may be having a cardiac arrest. Maybe dying is the only way I can escape."The teacher told us to work on the assignment together, but you just left."This is it?I'm so relieved th
CHAPTER ELEVENPIERCE**'Kai, do you know that I can't stop thinking of wanting to carve off your flesh so I can see what's beneath?'There's no emotion more powerful than obsession, and it starts so slowly that you don't even recognize the patterns, and when you do, it's already too late, you're already enthralled in the darkness and deceit of your own making. It started with a simple desire of wanting to know him, but soon, it became not nearly enough. I crave more. It's an unquenched thirst that refuses to be sated. Your whole world revolves around them while they do not know of your existence.I want to be closer to him, so close that want to just bury him beneath my skin.Kai, Do you know how much I want to see you bleed? I also want you to see me bleed and paint my blood across your face and mark you so that the others will know that you're mine!Everyone has a dream, unconscious thoughts and desires, something they want to hold on to, cherish, and are afraid to lose. My
CHAPTER TWELVE MALAKAI **We sometimes make stupid choices for the people we love, even knowing how wrong they are, but they say love is the most important thing, right...?No wait...Right?My decision brings me to this place, and I can't believe that Pierce is living in a whole freaking mansion. I mean, since his father is an influential politician and his mother is a well-known professor, it's to be expected. But still...This is too much.Nervousness squeezes up my insides with every step that I take. You know, it's not too late to change your mind, the voice in my head warns. The courage I had a few days ago is nowhere to be found. Yeah, even if not for Lana, what if Pierce actually reveals those pictures to my parents? He's one crazy son of a bitch, I know he will actually do it. I meet Pierce's mother in the luxurious modern-style living room after a maid ushers me inside. Everywhere is spotless and white. They even have servants!I've seen her on the local news a few
CHAPTER THIRTEEN MALAKAI **After our shower, Pierce leads us back to the bedroom. He kisses my shoulder before pushing me against the large bed. I land on my back and he climbs on top of me and resumes his assault on my lips.He suddenly pinches my nipples, squeezing them so hard. The sharp cry that leaves my mouth is consumed by his slick wet tongue. Lunatic!How deep is he trying to go? I'm gagging from his kisses and he doesn't even care.Wait...If he keeps being so frantic like this, then he's going to stick his weapon of mass destruction inside of me sooner or later. I have to act fast in this case. I sink my finger into his hair and try my possibly best to relax against his fierce kisses. My other hand caresses his broad shoulders. And suddenly, when he least expects it, I spin us around so I am on top of him. Pierce blinks in surprise, probably because I just told him that I'm unwilling to participate. I press my lips against him to distract him. He suddenly grabs my
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHTMALAKAI **His face had resurfaced all the forbidden memories. A year and six months is what it took that correction facility to try and make me forget him. They still failed to cleanse me, to purge the sin and filth out of me. Pierce has been so deeply engraved in my mind that not even the tortures had been able to take him away. He's greater than any nightmares that they ever could give. In the past few months, I've tried to have sex with both genders alike, not the Reverend. Not the sister; it's Pierce who has conditioned me, branded himself in my soul. He's the reason I can't get touched by others; my mind is still his prisoner. I'm still trying to break free from his chains, why is fate playing this dangerous game with me all over again?Uriel told me that he'd been transferred to this hospital about two weeks ago for specialized care. I start to wonder if it's just a coincidence that I got a job in this same hospital, but it's Uriel who had recommended
CHAPTER FORTY-SEVENMALAKAI **When a nightmare is real, how do you even wake up from it?"You feel so real" He whispers in a deeper voice than I remember. I am the one hallucinating; I should be saying this. Our bodies are so close that I can feel his heat radiating through my cold, numb ones. His hand caresses my hair and pulls me back enough to touch my face. I shiver at the contact; looking into his dark eyes feels like falling into an endless abyss. His next words send a shiver through me, and it has nothing to do with the cold. "In here, I can see you..." He smiles, and my heart cracks; it almost does not feel like a bad dream anymore. Before I can think any further, his hand grabs the base of my neck, and raw intent flashes in his eyes as he leans in closer. I start to push his shoulders but he grasps my arms, pinning them to the sides, his glazed eyes are boiling with a fury that makes my bones melt. "This is my dream; I can do whatever I want to you; you can't escape
CHAPTER FORTY-SIXMALAKAI **The familiar smell of disinfectants in the psych ward and these sterile white walls choke me with this feeling of despair. It's too similar. Everything here is a stark reminder of that forsaken place. My anxious gaze lingers on the nuns who work here. My heart starts to pound furiously at their familiar black flowing robe and veil. They start to approach my direction and my entire body freezes. "They are caregivers; they can't hurt you," I whisper to myself, but it doesn't stop the chill that trickles down my spine as they get closer... And closer. I can see the deathly hands slowly clawing out of these white walls; I'm hopeless against the force as they drag me to that dark place. I see myself immobile, frightened, helpless on that bed in the white room.'I'm going to cleanse you!' Sister Agatha's whisper rings in my head. I can feel her hands crawling across my skin, the wide smile that spreads on her face. 'You poor sweet boy, let me take care
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVEMALAKAI **"Wow." I hear my boss mumble as he stares at the photo I hand over to him. This particular one had taken me several weeks to work on. I love pictures because they can be viewed from different perspectives, and can be interpreted depending on the subject. The Venus fly trap, a carnivorous plant swallowing a struggling bug. Capturing the moment the insect suffocates and eventually dies and is absorbed by the plants has been fascinating. "Earth is indeed a scary place, poor insect" He adds.' Or maybe the plant just needs to feed? '"Your pictures are great, but why do you always like taking such gloomy photos? Cheer up; life isn't supposed to be so serious. We gotta have some fun sometimes, you know." His eyes leer at me as he suddenly places a secure hand around my shoulders.My body flares with panic and my brain instinctively starts to count.Ninety seconds, and it will be over. One...Two...Three...Four..."I think these pictures are going to be
CHAPTER FORTY-FOURMALAKAI**The shadows of yesterday hit me hard as I walk through the town where I used to live. Nothing has changed, including the houses and convenience stores around the corner. I suppose two years is not very long. I am the only one who can barely remember who I was before. A part of me is still lost among the broken pieces of this place.Some days, I wonder if I am dead and everyone simply forgot to bury me.I can't look anybody in the eyes, I'm unresponsive to the gossips and curious stares; all I can think is 'fuck all of them!'From this distance, I watch my little brother Ezra walk to the stage to receive his diploma, after my release six months ago, he's the only person I kept contact with.The audience bursts out in applause, and I can not help but feel a wave of nostalgia wash over me. I did not even get to graduate. I have nothing.Three TwoOne.Perfectly shot!Only when I focus on these images on my camera do I feel like I have something, but ther
CHAPTER FORTY-THREEMALAKAI**Trigger Warning: This scene involves themes of homophobia, abuse, and brainwashing. Reader discretion is advised. This is pure fiction and does not depict the actions of any religious group. It's white everywhere. My head is hurting. My foggy brain can't even think of why I'm here. The only thing I feel is terror when I realize I am strapped to the bed. Is this a clinic?But... Why?The door opens, and my blurry vision adjusts to see the Reverend enter, accompanied by sister Agatha.The memories start to claw in, and my heart sears with panic.Let me out!My body begins to jerk against the straps that keep me in place. I remember everything now.'...The truth is, son, you're broken. You're sick. And we're going to fix you...'No!The only one who can fix me is him. Pierce.'Where are you, don't you love me anymore?' I want to tell him that I did not want to leave him. I want to keep my promise, but these chains are stopping me.How long have I been
CHAPTER FORTY-TWOPIERCE**The heavy rain had fallen all night, and the weather is as gloomy as my mood.Why the hell didn't he respond to any of my messages? I had waited all night long without getting any sleep, and now, as I stare at my phone, there is still no reply. I walk into my parents in the living room, Dad wears a solemn expression. I don't recall doing anything worthy of his attention, so why is he here?He is probably worried about the elections... or maybe not.My heart slams in my chest when I see something familiar in his hands.A collar."Pierce__"I find it difficult to breathe as I snatch the collar from his hand. "Where is Lou? Where is she!" "The doctors couldn't save her. We had to put her down__" Mom begins to speak, and a volcano of rage erupts within me."Shut up! You never liked her, did you fucking kill her?""She's been suffering for days, her body couldn't take the treatment anymore, we only did the best for her__" My muscles tense up at my father's
CHAPTER FORTY ONEMALAKAI **My skin itches from my father's belt; disgust and fury flash in his eyes as he repeats. "Are you gay?"If I want just one person and the person just happens to be a guy, am I still gay? Probably?I'm not afraid of the belt anymore, because when I close my eyes..."You won't speak? You're not denying it. You don't even beg when I hit you, do you want to challenge me now?!"My father's belt clatters roughly to the ground and he delivers a hard punch to my face.No!A gasp of pain leaves my mouth as I stagger backwards.Please bring back the belt!At least, I can pretend it is Pierce who's hurting me so sweetly.His blows fucking hurts, my entire face hurts, I can barely speak, but when I see the rage in his eyes, something inside of me triumphs."I'm the one going to hell, Dad, why are you so mad?""So it's true? Who is this guy you're fucking? Or maybe he's the one fucking you?" He sneers, his eyes growing colder. "I won't have an abomination as a son,
CHAPTER FORTYMALAKAI**He made the whole school hate me and isolated me from everyone and in my lonely moments, I had grown dependent on his affection, allowing myself to be deluded that our relationship wasn't as crazy as it seemed. I suppose I am just a dog, greedily leeching on my owner's emotions, and Pierce knows how to tame one. As I stand on this rooftop, a soft breeze blows across my face. The ground feels like an eternity away, and one slip..."What are you doing? Get down now!" I flinch when I hear Pierce's voice behind me. I just want some alone time, but he always finds me. I slowly turn around, and Pierce, who is normally so calm and in control, appears terrified. His weakness seems so out of character, and my shattered soul urges me to break him more; I want him to feel the hell that I'm going through."Would you die for me, Pierce? Then hold my hands... Let us die together. I take a step back and move closer to the edge."Kai, get out of there!" His face becomes