Choices to be made

Kathleen

“Williams? You're zoning out.”

I shake my head to focus on the man sorted across me in the restaurant. My boss,the father to my child.

“Ah,sorry.”

“Something you want to talk about?”

“Nothing that concerns you.”

He nods. “Then don't let it interfere with work.”

“Yes.” I murmur.

“I called you here to discuss our relationship. ”

My body stiffens.

“Relationship? That is not work related.”

“Our sexual relationship.” He clarifies even though I did not need that.

“Oh that,” I laugh nervously. “What about it? We don't have to talk about it. Let us avoid that talk at all costs.” I spoke fast.

“Hey. Its nothing huge. I'm not firing you or anything.”

Oh he thought I was worried about losing a job I had acquired through false documents.

“What about it?” I squeak.

“We need to put an end to it.”

in a split of a second I had died and gone to hell.

Josh was insisting on me being open with my baby daddy,here he was cutting off the one thing that bound us together on a personal level.

Now I'll have to raise this child alone and it will live to ask me about its father. I'll be a terrible mother and my kid will want nothing to do with me.

I have already failed as a daughter,if my parents know that I was in a relationship that involved sex,I'll get to go for a hundred confessions and I'll have to deal with their lecture.

But if they know that I am pregnant, the two will make me dig my own grave,kill me and Bury me in it.

“Hey,hey,Williams?” He was by my side.

“What?” I blink rapidly,now feeling the moisture on my cheeks

“You are crying. Talk to me.”

“I,joy. They are tears of joy.” I sniffle and force a smile. “I am happy that you are finally going to get married.”

“You sound way too bitter than I am about the situation. “

“I do?” I chuckle. “I guess I do.” I add softly.

“I'm sorry,Williams. I have to go through with this marriage for the sake of business.”

“It's okay. I get it.”

“Is there anything you need from me?” The genuineness in his voice actually made me consider telling him that I'm pregnant.

I shake my head. “All good over here. I'll just go to the bar when I'm sexually frustrated.”

“Make sure you stay safe.”

Absolutely.

“So when is the wedding?”

“In two weeks. The engagement is happening tomorrow. “

I choke on my drink. He hands me the wipes.

“Sorry.”

“It's fast,I know but the sooner I get over with it,the better. I don't want to risk going back on my word.”

His phone beeps.

“No,Gregory I'm not coming to get you from wherever it is you're at now. On a different note,welcome home.”

“I see your best men are already arriving.”

He chuckles. “Funny. That's my brother,Gregory Kohen. “

“He's coming for your wedding,I assume.”

“Not really. We don't treasure each other that much.”

I wanted to ask more. To be able to know more about this man whose child I'm carrying. Deep down I knew that won't end well .

Still,I was not know for making good choices.

I lean in.“Tell me more.”

“Father always pins us against each other. Kohen believes that I am always up for his downfall. Pretty sure he'll blame his divorce on me once he sees my face.”

“That's sad. Whose older?”

“He is.”

“Do you want to get married?” I ask after a while,my eyes searching his.

“I have to.” He breathes.

“That doesn't answer the question.”

His eyes holds mine but he made no attempt to speak.

“If anything came up to stop the wedding,how would you feel about that?”

“I would worship that cause with every fibre in me.”

“Have you ever thought of starting a family? Not considering this wedding but you know,marry some day and have kids?”

I have never received such a passionate ‘no’ before.

I give him a weak smile. “Good to know.”

it's not like I wanted a family with him.

______________

I throw myself on the bed and break into sobs.

“What will I do,Josh?” I weep.

“He is getting married,doesn't want a family and here I am pregnant. “ I sniffle and lift my head from the mattress. “I'm a mess.”

He pulls me into his arms. “It's all going to be okay. Just let him know.”

I pull away from him. “Did you hear a word I said?”

“He is getting married. Heard you loud and clear.”

“You are terrible at giving advice.” I lay back down. “Considering the fact that you are a therapist,makes it all worse.”

He laughs. “You refuse to listen.”

I shut my eyes tight,with it shutting his voice out.

There's too much uncertainty for me to bring this child into the world.

I'm also too young to be a mother.

I could give birth and give it up for adoption,but then I could also get attached in a moment and fail to let go.

This will be a burden to Josh who I'm sure will try to move the earth to ensure the child gets everything.

Or I could leave it at Kian's doorstep. He has enough money and I won't have to worry about anything. Except the fact that the family could mistreat the child.

I breathe in deeply and let put a loud scream that was mostly muffled by the sheets.

Josh hand rested on my back,rubbing softly.

I had to make a choice before it becomes too hard.

This child cannot come into this world.