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Chapter 51
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2021-07-23 07:28:15"You blame yourself?" Anna asked, her intriguing gaze deepened into me.
"Shouldn't I?"
"I don't have to tell you that I think that you shouldn't. There are many things that you should blame yourself for. But I genuinely do not think that is one of them. You couldn't have possibly known that all of this would happen." Again, I don't know how many times that I have heard the same thing, I just don't know if I will ever believe it.
"I don't know if there is a way to start saying sorry. I want to apologize to him, but knowing Isaiah he would do anything for me to understand that it isn't my fault. But that would only make me feel more guilty."
"Because, it isn't your fault. I am sure it is not just me that has told you this Alexis. You have to start believing that you can do this. That you can be better than this depressing and self deprecating personality that you always seem to have."
"It is kind of an instinct for me. I have had mu
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Daughter Of Phoenix Chapter 52
After being present and hearing what Anna had to say, it dawned on me that this whole situation was as serious as it got. In fact, I knew for definite that I was going to have to gather up what ever residing courage I had left in me to be able to do this. I was making my way back to Isaiah's room, because he was right as always, I struggled to be away from him for more than twenty minutes. Perhaps it was that nagging feeling at the back of my head that always seemed to always think the worst when it came to him. Nevertheless, it was something that I was willing and fully wanting to do.Reaching his door I placed a little knock in it, which was returned by a faint come in. I unlocked the door and walked inside and what befalls me slightly winded me. In front of me was Isaiah's room but it was not as I knew it. There were flower petals trailed on the floor that led up to a table. A table that was filled with delicious, succulent looking food. A table that had a vase of fl
Last Updated : 2021-07-24Daughter Of Phoenix Chapter 53
I slipped on the dress, the red fabric clung to my curves like a vice. Zee knew her style, of course, she did, if someone looked that good then they would be bound to have an amazing wardrobe to match it. The scarlet red bodycon dress matched and hugged every ounce of my curves, properly and I felt good in it. As in extremely good in it.I looked back at myself in the mirror. Isaiah. Isaiah was going to love me in this. Staring back at me, I wiped the tiredness from my eyes and let my curly hair bounced downwards. If it was not for this dress, I would look like plain old me.Nevertheless, I took a deep breath in, inhaling and exhaling all the negative energy that swirled and rose up inside of me. It was time to be with Isaiah. Unlocking the bathroom door, I looked, seeing Isaiah seemingly busy with making sure the final touches were on point. There he was working readily with everything that was in front of him. Making sure that the petals were placed correctly, and th
Last Updated : 2021-07-25Daughter Of Phoenix Chapter 54
"So, why did you create this wonderful dinner for me?" I smiled up at Isaiah, taking quick glances at my food. On my plate was pasta, tomato sauce and what looked like a side of a different array of vegetables topped with cheese. All in all, it looked perfect."What, I can't treat my beautiful girlfriend to something good? Especially someone that I have not seen in months." Despite there being a playfully smile on his handsome face, I could not swallow down the guilt rising up in me.Quickly, I responded. "Well, it is not exactly clear with what your intentions were first of all. But, if it is just solely, honestly, and wholeheartedly just that. Then I completely and fully approved. " I twirled up some pasta around my fork and proceeded to feed him with it. Taking the cue and the hint, he opened his mouth, still with a small smile draped onto his lips, I popped it in, and he took in the food, with a satisfied smirk on his face. "This is turning into a Lady and the Tram
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"And I can't differentiate them from you. I can't tell reality apart from fiction. It is as if something is blocking me from making the right decision. Sometimes I will be reminiscing and reveling in your memory. And when I think that is you, and when I am sure it is you. You then disappear like a pillar and cloud of smoke. Just gone, as if you have been released from my grasp. I am struggling to separate reality from fiction. Sometimes even when I open my eyes, I still can't tell it apart.""Can you tell it apart now?"It was only then and now that his eyes awoke from the haze that it was currently in, and he looked at me. As if he could see right through me, as if he could see everything about me. My whole life story, my emotions, how I was feeling. That was one thing that I loved about Isaiah, he always knew how to make me feel more than. He always knew how to make me feel like I was worth something. He always made me feel seen. He gave me a small smile. "There is n
Last Updated : 2021-08-02Daughter Of Phoenix Chapter 56
His grip on my waist only tightened, as his arms spread around me like a grip vice. The harder he wrapped his arms around me, the more I would feel all of the happy and good emotions that were always coursing through my veins and my entire body. His hand gripped the side of my face, and forced me to look at home. Directly at him, the fierceness in his eyes was riveting and I knew instantly that I wanted more and more of it. Of him. "It is because you are broken and damaged. That is one of the traits I love the most about you."That was not the response that I expected. It was also not the response that I necessary wanted too. I could feel my eyebrows crease. "Oh, so the only reason you are with me, is because I am damaged. So therefore, I am easy to mold and I am more malleable and impressionable to what you want and what you say, really, Isaiah, is that it?" I don't know, something in me turned and I was about to pull away. But quickly, his grip on me only tightened.
Last Updated : 2021-08-03Daughter Of Phoenix Chapter 57
I watched her facial expression. I don't know why but I was expecting surprise of some sort, or perhaps some slither of guilt. But I got nothing, her face was as blank as anything. No emotions or anything was revealed. There was nothing close to what I thought I would evidently get. "Alexis. Miss Reign." The swap of my name to something more formal was enough to make me nervous. It was clear that she only did that to people that she did not like, and I would be lying if I said that I wanted to join the entourage of those people. So I did what I could, I plastered a fake smile on my face, to somewhat relax me, but to also relax her. To make her think that this was a suggestion not an accusation. "For you to even think that I would go something that abrasive and destruction to this world makes me feel as if you do not trust me enough. And if we do not have trust in the basis of everything, then I am sorry, Alexis. But I would have to find someone else to do it. I would have to find so
Last Updated : 2021-08-04Daughter Of Phoenix Chapter 58
I watched Zee, taking in her facial expression. There was no hint of amusement, this sounded serious, as in the serious that I was not ready to follow through. I was scared of what she would say. I wanted to avoid any talk of anything negative or bad right now, I was not ready for it. I had to decline her offer, not because I hated or disliked talking to Zee. It was because I had a feeling, than negative nagging feeling that I always felt when I knew that I was going to be roped into a conversation or a talk that would involve me opening out, and pouring out my emotions. I did not want that. "Zee, I do not want any of that, not right now at least. Please." I was trying to walk away, when she quickly grabbed my arm, stopping me from advancing in anything, like walking away from her. But I felt there was a deeper reason, like me avoiding any talk of anything personal."No, Alexis. Please. We need to talk about this. You can not run or escape from this."A couple of
Last Updated : 2021-08-05Daughter Of Phoenix Chapter 59
"I do not know what you want me to say Zee." But I knew exactly what she wanted me to say and I knew exactly what I wanted to say. I wanted to say something, anything that had some type of substance. I wanted to say something that represented how I felt inside. I mean I knew what she wanted, but I was not sure if exactly that, that I could give it to her. I was still conflicted as to how and why I did that. I was in such a trance like state that it did not even cross my life who or what that I would be living behind. But regardless, what was done was done. Now all I could do was fathom how and if that gun contained the real bullets, then what? What would happen then? And what would I do then? I would have left everyone and everything I love, I would have left all of them behind. Godness, I can not even think about something like that, it was almost too much and too hard to bear."I know that you know what you want to say, Alexis. I know how you feel. Truly, I do. But if
Last Updated : 2021-08-06
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Daughter Of Phoenix Chapter 76
I looked at Elijah, then at Isaiah, the only thing that I could do was to look at all my friends with the utmost confusion that I could muster. What in the hell were they actually talking about? "What do you mean? Do not tell me that all of you concocted some other ridiculous plan about how you are going to save me? It is not going to work, there is no way that you guys could have come up with a plan in less than forty eight hours."I felt Isaiah's hand on mine first, as he looked at me, with the same amount of determination that he always has when it is regarding my life and well being. "But Alexis, what if we can, what if we can save you. Would you accept our help? Would you take that risk, for us, for me? Would you?" I looked at him, as in really looked at him, and I knew it, I just knew it deep down within me that he was not lying, he really was not. They have come up with a plan that is going to save me, I myself was not intent of dying, so if there was a way back,
Daughter Of Phoenix Chapter 75
He smiled, the stretch on his face pulled him in to a wide and bright smile. It was weird actually, I never really thought that I would have made a good wife, but I was more than willing to try for Isaiah, he was everything that I wanted and more. There was nothing that he could not say to me that I would not do for him, nothing. But I knew that I had to do this, not just for only him, but for me too. I had to do it, because if I did not, I am not entirely sure what hope our future had, and that fact was more scary than anything. "I love you, Isaiah. I really do."Although, I saw that hint of sadness crown his features, I could see in clear as day in his eyes that he loved me too, he loved me more than anything. And if there was something I was thankful for, it was most definitely that. He loved me, he loved at me as if I was this rare treasure, this rare jewel that he never thought in his life that he could gain a hold of, but here I was. In front of him, in his arms. Slowly
Daughter Of Phoenix Chapter 74.52
Before Miss Smith- Anna could say anything else, Isaiah quickly interjected himself, "No! This is not happening, I will not even let anyone entertain the idea." His hand grabbed mine and he squeezed it, hard, I turned to face him. His eyes said everything that I knew he was keeping locked in his heart. I knew that he could not break his composure, but I also knew that it was killing him that I would even think of something like this. For him, it was like I was leaving him, almost like a betrayal. But for me, it was more like a gift from me to him, it was a chance of a better life for him. "Alexis, why are you even thinking about doing this? Have we not been happy? Why would you want to throw it all away when we can find another way around this. It is not fair, please do not do this to me."I looked at him, as in really looked at him, and all I could gift him was a small smile. He would never understand, even if I told him, he would think that I was just doing it to fabricate
Daughter Of Phoenix Chapter 74.5
She was silent for a while, but I knew that she heard me loud and clear, I could see the gears turning behind her eyes, and I saw all she wanted to know and to tell me, without her even needing to move her lips. There was fear and apprehension, but eventually, she nodded. "If that is what you want and that is what you wish for then, so be it."Isaiah was the first one to make a quick protest, "Are you actually kidding me right now. No." Abruptly he turned to me, "No, Alexis, no. You can not do this you are bringing yourself up for slaughter, and no one at all she be even saying something like that."Zee's hands rest on me, and I turned my attention towards her, "Alexis, Isaiah is right, this is nothing more than an execution on your part. You do not have to sacrifice yourself for us to live. That is not necessary, and it will never, ever be necessary." My eyes then met Elijah, sitting directly opposite me, and he just shook his head. Simple and slow. Side to side. Ther
Daughter Of Phoenix Chapter 73
I was in Isaiah's room wrapped in his embrace, enjoying his warmth when Zee stormed in. Her eyes fueled with fury and there was a hint of something scared between them. My mind started racing rapidly, and the first thing that I could think of was Evan. I mean, Isaiah was okay, I was in his arms, and Zee would not the one to barge in like that for no good reason, especially with the expression she had on her face, right now.Instantly, I forced myself out of Isaiah's embrace, and looked at her straight in the eyes. I do not know what I was searching for, possibly any bad news about Evan, that could only be communicated through the eyes, before she told me out right. But I could not find anything, I mean the clear explanation was that she was trained to be able to effectively conceal her emotions, and she did it well. "What? What is it, Zee. Please tell me, tell me now.""Alexis, you have to come quickly. Miss Smith needs to see you. Now."My bre
Daughter Of Phoenix Chapter 72.5
"You can never keep your hands off what is someone else." I do not think there has ever been a time, and I mean there has never been a time, ever in my life that I have ever seen Isaiah look this angry, and he has had his fair bout of outbursts in his lifetime, it was almost painful to see him like, all because of me. I did not know what to do, even placing my hands on his chest to calm him down, was beginning to scare the living hell out of me, I did not know what to do. So, I did nothing, and just stood there. But, I still was acting as a barrier between Isaiah and Elijah.I turned over to Elijah, who did not look the slightest bit upset with me, he just gave me a small smile, when I mouth a quick sorry and in return, he gave me another small nod. He was not angry, but I knew that he should have been. I mean, I would, because yes, I said it so I could clear my conscience, but it did not mean that I did not just fracture and damage the relationship that they shared as
Daughter Of Phoenix Chapter 72.5
There it was, the word vomit that was creeping up inside my throat, gear to escape, I knew that telling him the truth, and the end of things, would prove much greater than lying to him, just as I knew that the truth always had a nasty habit of leaking out, and against my better judgment, I knew against everything that I did, that the truth would eventually come out, whether I truly liked it or not. And I knew that deep down, there was nothing that scared me more than that. Nothing at all, so I took the deep dive, and I opened up emotionally, mentally and physically. I could tell that the heart was becoming very evident on my face because he looked at me, Isaiah looked at me, as if there was something deeper that he had to know. Both of his arms wrapped around my own, "Alexis." His voice dropped, the tone considerably lower than before, "What is the matter? Tell me, what is wrong?"I looked down, I could not bear anything in him to look him straight in his eyes, he lifted my h
Daughter Of Phoenix Chapter 71
"Congrats, Alexis." I am so proud of you, Zee quickly engulfed me in a tight and quick hug, I almost felt as though I was suffocating, but if that was not enough to tell me how proud of me that she was, I really did not know what would. Right now, they decided conveniently, to hold an after party, as a sort of celebration for me, and the apparent hope that they now had, not as though I could be able to do everything by myself. It was not just solely and wholly me. It was not, and I do not think that it will ever be that. I had the help of Miss Smith, and everything surrounding that, without her, I do not think that I would have been able to reach this stage as I have done now. So, I have to give all my thanks and appreciation to her, and only her in my honest opinion. But they all insisted, and I would feel as though I was being ungrateful if I did not accept it. There was no teachers present, there was only agents, and soldiers, and Evan. Zee did the courtesy of collecting him from
Daughter Of Phoenix Chapter 70
I walked up further to the front of the stage, and I could feel the paper that I was currently holding in my hand shake, as in it was not the type of shake that would be easy to hide, it was clear and evident and very. very out there and it was that bad that I knew that I was struggling to keep myself still. I took a deep breath in and out, and then in again, thinking that would prove something, and hopefully that would calm me down. But to no avail, I felt myself trying to swallow down the upcoming bile that was raising steadily and rapidly in my throat. Come on, Alexis, come on you can do this. My eyes found Isaiaih's again as he gave me a small, encouraging smile, his blue eyes lightening up and he gave me a thumbs up. I smiled appreciably, and nodded, releasing the breath that I currently took in. I can do this. I know that I can.I looked down at the paper in front of me, and it was as if the words on the page started blurring and moving around everywhere. I was st
