Forty-nine.

Elle POV.

I’m hurt, I’m in pain and I’m suffering, I didn’t want Nikolai to leave me but he had to go, he had work to do, I never expected him to hold me the way he does. For me to crave his comfort, to feel safe in his hands like no one else, but once he left the whole in my heart got bigger again, I went to my only other comfort zone, to the only other thing that helped me get all my anger and hurt out, my only breather. It’s how I always cope with things, it’s how I’m used to do it, I went to my stories, I decided to write the story of how I lost Devil, of how my character had to give Nathalie up for her safety. I written in details how much it took me to take my decision, how much it hurt, how I only did it to keep her safe. I clicked publish the second I was done, I wanted her to see it, I wanted her to see my explanation, to know I would never betray her, I’m not a whore, I’m someone who loved her so much, my love is blind, my love is unlimited, I did that for her, but I also m