AUGUST
I have not been the greatest throughout the succeeding days of my life and to be quite honest, I have never expected all of this things to happen, not in a million light-years or whatever time means. I wanted to cut myself a bit of a slack but it doesn’t seem to be fitting. It’s quite difficult to balance all of the things that are going around me and I’m utterly stunned that I’m still breathing and kicking and basically just sailing through all of them. I feel like I’m just a one-man troop that’s battling a whole battalion of predicament and I’m clearly being owned by all of them. I know for a fact that there soon will be a time, perhaps not today, maybe in the next few months, that everything would inevitably explode and I’m going to be that one pig caught in between.
It’s definitely hard to live my life as a student who needs to keep his grades abo
AUGUSTOur last period had finally reeled to an end and I’m left in this surging wave of dilemma between going on a movie date with Rachel and just riding through town with Ambrose. I am cruelly torn in between who to choose from the two and the feeling wasn’t that great at all. I’m still sitting at my desk holding my phone with my mind trying to fight things off. Meanwhile, everyone’s already packing their stuff. Most of the people who have already packed their things in a snap have already bounced out of the room leaving the few sluggish people behind.“My mama told me when I was young,” I stared at my phone for a while and I suddenly heard Jessie began singing in a random display of his flamboyance. He trudged his way towards the center front of the room and looking right at him, he was seemingly living a certain fantasy. He was now standing right in front of the room prep
AUGUSTI’m really fucking this up. I’m given the choice between just being my gay self and be gay with Ambrose or continuing to play this straight dude and perhaps be straight with Rachel.I didn’t have much time to think about my decisions that I ended up choosing the movie date with Rachel without actually choosing it. I wanted to be with Ambrose today, I won’t even deny that. There are a lot of things that I need to reassure about him. We haven’t gone out this week and I’m sure he’s been dying in jealousy to hold me throughout the days. I’m not trying to be the delusional person here and just assume that Ambrose’s getting jealous but If I was standing in his shoes I’d be squirming in envy. I feel like I can’t even limit my flirting with Rachel whenever he’s just around the room. Rachel’s just aggressive to me and I can’t even
AUGUST“Fuck.” I heard Rachel muttered under her breath and it was cutting deeper than how I’ve known her. I’ve heard her curse several times and I thought they’re all just a typical curse except this ones hitting a little harder almost like a curse out of frustration.“We can’t do this here.” I trailed shaking my head in disapproval of her lustful actions. I just have to say my thoughts out loud or else I might not have another chance.“I know. I’m really sorry, babe. I got carried away.” Rachel voiced out and I can sense the feeling of embarrassment and disappointment already disemboweling her.She fixed her hair in swift defeat and leaned back against the backrest as she tried her best to shrug away the humiliating thought of what she had just done to me. The air became cold and awkward that I have no idea how to react first and
AUGUSTI have already made plans with Rachel and her clique earlier and it hurts to think that I have to reject Ambrose’s offer for the second time in a row. Being torn in a dilemma over Ambrose and Rachel was the hardest thing that I felt today and I thought that was the end of the day but here I am, once again, making this fucked up decisions. I really want to hang out with Ambrose, given the fact that we haven’t hanged out since the beginning of this week, but fate seems to be working against my favor this time around. I know I still have the wide open choice to just ditch that house party that Victoria had organized for tomorrow but it will, without a doubt, hurt my relationship with the group.“You’re really into house parties now, eh?” Ambrose asked and I can’t help but feel like he’s very much disappointed at me. He’s been trying to make things work for the
AUGUSTJust like everyone else, I am feeling the essence of a Friday and it has been this sort of excitement mixed with a rush of relief. Everyone at school was looking much happier and much galvanized that another week has finally come to its eventual end. I’m sure most of these people have already made their plans after class, and just like most of them, I’m more than eager for the day to just end in a snap.Rachel parked her truck and before we know it, we were already walking towards the school building. I’m still quite surprised that everyone’s looking at us with the thought that we are still the power couple when it’s already been over two months since we announced that we are dating. I know two months was still just a short amount of time but for me, it feels like I’ve been dating this popular girl for the past year. I feel like we’ve been together for the longes
AUGUST“What time is it already?” Victoria asked almost sounding anxious. She just changed her uniform upstairs and she’s now wearing this floral mini skirt and a crop top that’s actually fitting her in the most flattering way. She tied her hair into a high ponytail almost copying Nicole’s signature look that they are both looking alike when they are on their backs.“Still 5,” Nicole answered after taking a quick glance at her phone.“What?” Victoria shrilled and I can tell she’s worried that her party might be a feast for the fleas. I’m listening to her panic and I’m not even convinced that no one’s going to attend this party. First of all, they’ve been telling everyone about the party and the news had already reached every single one from school. Secondly, Victoria’s still one of the popular kids, they have such an influence. And third, ther
AUGUSTI was more than astounded by the force that Rachel had produced as she pulled me upstairs. I’m guessing the alcohol had something to do with the surprising immense strength that she just exhibited. My mind was just boggled enough that I just let myself be pulled and the next thing I know we were already inside Victoria’s room.Rachel was obviously in heat and she just kicked the door with such uncalculated force that it had created a loud thudding sound that’s even louder than the party music playing in the background. She pushed my body against the door and was already kissing me much to my surprise. Things are going pretty fast that I’m not able to keep up with what’s going on. I see Rachel’s eyes and they were a bit flappy. I know I’m yet drunk because I can clearly distinguish the smell of alcohol coming out of Rachel’s breath.&ldq
AMBROSEI am already convinced that the match was already over but Phil doesn’t seem to accept his defeat against Shaun. He just got knocked off into the ground and every single eye watching the fight has seen how hard he fell. It was evident that he can’t fight no more, he’s been lying on the ground for more than two minutes and even when the referee’s not counting, that was more than enough for Shaun to bag the win.“Shaun wins this match!!!” The referee announced and the cheering continues.“No, no, no. It can’t be!” Phil was adamant with still wanting to fight. He doesn’t want to accept the fact that he just lost the fight plain and simple. He was struggling to stand back up that I was forced to walk towards him to offer some friendly assistance.“Hey dude, it’s okay, it’s alright!” I patted him in the shoulder
AUGUSTI was already growing impatiently excited for Monday to come so I’d have to see Ambrose again and it really came faster than I would’ve even realized. Ambrose and I just shared sweet and thoughtful messages to each other throughout the rest of the weekend and it was giving me everything that I wanted. I can’t stop thinking about him and just everything that happened right between us. I’m pretty much confident that Ambrose can’t stop thinking about me too. He was telling me everything that’s happening inside their house throughout the weekend and I’m not even asking for it. He told me that he had a deep heart to heart conversation with his father about a lot of things and that his dad finally began growing closer to him. I was so happy for him that he’s finally getting what he truly deserves in this timeline and I know he deserves a lot of good things and a classic redemption. I
AUGUST“I didn’t know you brought a friend of yours home?!” The older man wearing this fancy royal blue suit mouthed when I brought myself into the picture basically referring to my sudden appearance. He seemed quite startled to see me emerge from the stairs. Just as the man was startled, I was stunned as well the moment that I heard him speak. The tone of his voice sounded professional and commanding at the very same time and it reminded me of the school’s headmistress.“Oh, yeah.” Ambrose trailed and it was pretty obvious in his tone of voice that he was faltering as he turned his head to look at me. “His name’s August. He’s one of my teammates.” He introduced me and while he said my correct name, I was confused when he said I was one of his teammates.I know he used to play basketball and used to be the captain of the team but this exchange m
AUGUSTThe bright sunlight just pierced right through my eyes when I opened them the next morning. I was facing the window and Ambrose was hugging me from behind and just being the bigger spoon. It took some time for my eyes to adjust from the brightness of daylight but after I got the hang of it, I instantly moved my head and I accidentally hit my head on Ambrose’s chin. The collision was quite hard enough that it woke him up as well.“Hmmmm.” Ambrose groaned from the pain and had to pull one of his hand to adjust from it.“Sorry about that.” I spat out and the words came out pretty hoarsely.“Good morning,” He greeted me with his guttural morning voice as he rubbed both of his eyes to adjust from the brightness of the daylight.“How was your night, Ambrose?” I asked as I stared at his messy just woke up face. He still looked pretty hot
AUGUSTMy heart just melted like a butter dropped on a hot steaming pan. Hearing Ambrose spill some of the truth that has been bottled up inside of him was completely heart wrenching in the most pitiful way. I know that his mother hated him because he already told me that a few weeks ago, but the things that came out after that was really a twist that I wasn’t expecting at all. I’m still trying to let the things that I’ve heard from Ambrose sink inside of my head. It was hard to hear him spit the words out and I didn’t think it was this hard to let it settle down too.I have never met anyone from Ambrose’s family before. I only saw the few members on the painting but that painting was a decade old. Still, I was actually looking forward to seeing them in person. I have yet to meet his famous father who have donated a lot of things at this town. I have yet to meet his mother who hate
AMBROSEDid I hear August enunciate the words right? I asked myself. I’m pretty sure I heard him say the words perfectly clear. I’m not going to hide anything. I was truly astonished by this secret even though it’s really nothing to be astonished about. We are both dudes who likes each other and has kissed more times than I could even remember. How gay could that possibly be?I was dead ass correct when I felt like August was about to drop some sort of a bomb. He really did drop the secret bomb and suddenly this telling of secrets while turned against each other’s back felt beneficial for both of us. I have never realized that he was actually gay until now that he has spilled the truth. All this time I thought he was really this straight guy that willing to explore all of the possibilities of things and I was just the gay one who’s afraid to admit the reality of things.It w
AMBROSEAugust doesn’t seem to be quite impressed by my mediocre dancing skills and to be quite honest with myself, if I was watching that shit go down too, I’d be disappointed. With that being said, I felt alright and I’m pretty much certain that he was entertained. And I’m entertained too. The smile on his face was just something that I’m gunning to see and I made him smile. I’m sure he’s feeling some type of way after just breaking up with his girlfriend a while ago.“What are you doing?” I deliberately asked the moment I noticed he was watching something on his phone. I leaned my head a bit towards him to get a sneak peek of what he was watching and it was just a video of some recognizable people from school at a random house party. “Where is that?” I followed up and casually snaked my arms around his shoulder. I’m becoming more and mor
AMBROSEThe night was pretty much moving slowly but it was everything that I wanted. I checked the clock hanging on the wall and it’s just nine pm. For a normal night, nine pm seemed like the right time to head to bed but for a Friday night, nine pm was agreeably too early.I was a bit shocked that the night’s still very much young. I’m not rushing or anything but then I realized maybe fate was making this moment just for me and August. Maybe fate wanted us to have more time to hang out and be with each other to compensate for the time that we had lost. Part of that was because I chose to ignore August for the entire week and if I had chosen to reply or even answer his calls then things would’ve been different. We haven’t seen each other this whole week and I don’t even want to admit it but I really do miss him in so many levels. I missed his smile that seemed to bring tranqu
AMBROSEI was instantly engulfed with the feeling of guilt and regret. I didn’t mean to shove August like that. I swear to whoever’s watching over us above the clouds. I might be the most violent person in this building but I’m pretty much honest that I didn’t want that to happen. I didn’t even think I put force into that. I completely thought I was just trying to keep him at bay from his attempt at preventing me from drinking the full glass of whiskey. It was never in my intention to hurt him. I had already reached the point where I was about to punch the wall brought about by the anger that I have for myself. And then it turns out that August was just playing with me. He was laughing hysterically that I was just confused at first. He was in pain, writhing like I’ve wrestled him hard on the ground. I saw it in his face that he was really feeling the agony from the supposed impact.
AMBROSEI have never imagined the day that I would hang out like this with August ever again. The last time August was here felt so much like a century ago. At least that’s all because I’m too distracted this past week that thinking about him was totally lost in the equation. I was on the verge of believing that I’ll never survive this hell of a week but here I am pouring whiskey on my glass with August sitting at the far corner of the couch.Things just went fast in a matter of hours that I’m still thinking about what happened back at the river. I had an extremely rough week that I just went to find solace at my favorite spot at the river not knowing that someone’s going to show up uninvited. I had never ever expected that August would show up at the river right at the moment where I didn’t know I needed his presence. I may have acted violent a few hours ago and that’s