AUGUST
“August?! You didn’t tell me you were coming,” Mary spat as she rushed her way out of the door. She seemed quite surprised at my sudden appearance, and honestly, I would be too.
“Yeah, I was just about to pass by when I remembered we haven’t actually talked to each other in a while.” I went on.
Mary had already grown on me in the short time that we hanged out. That’s not surprising considering the fact that we share something in common. She doesn’t know that I’m gay, but I know that she likes girls too, and that’s enough for us to have an unspoken understanding of each other. I have this certainty in me that our friendship will still grow to a budding flower. We just had to take things separate
AUGUSTAmbrose Haylock, out of nowhere, showed up right at the time that I wasn’t expecting his appearance. I don’t know if time stopped from ticking or I was just frozen. Either way, I was just staring at Ambrose without moving any muscle at all. I couldn’t help myself but shudder inside that we had to meet each other inside this comfort room of all the possible places. We could’ve bumped into each other in the hallway or outside the school grounds.I felt tremors in my chest. Ambrose has made me recognize fear in all of its horrible glory, but this is not it. It doesn’t feel like it. It is wild, but I’m certain that I wasn’t feeling afraid at all. My chest continued to beat, and I wasn’t so sure about what to do.Ambrose looked quite surprised to see me too. The expression painted on his face appeared as if he had seen a ghost, which alone made things unexpectedly interesting. I
AMBROSEI hated everything about the weekends. Both Saturdays and Sundays used to be fun when I was younger, and I had my parents living with me. They did not care about what I did, but they sure bought every toy that I wanted, and it got me entertained and distracted from what was happening around me. All of my toys, the transformer robots, the spider-man and batman figures, the slingshots, and the toy guns, all kept me in good company, and I never felt alone. Now it seems that both days fall under the category of my loneliest day. I cannot count all the weekends these past few years that have made me sadder and angrier.I hated the fact that I had to live in this big ass house in solitary and feel bad about myself. I hated that the only noise that I was hearing were the birds chirping, the branches and leaves rustling, and basically myself. I wanted to convince myself that loneliness doesn’t bother me, but it does. Even the silenc
AMBROSEThe wind whipped off intensely as I stepped on the gas. The morning breeze combed my body as I covered the road. I'm more than psyched to see people again, even though I wouldn't give a crap about anyone. There's nothing for me to expect this Monday, as far I know, except for the thing that I had with August. That was a grave mistake, and I was so stupid that I got carried away by a fucking kiss. I guess I was quite a lucky person that no one witnessed that gay shit that I did. If someone had seen it, I wouldn't even be this excited to enter school. Everybody would probably make me their laughing stock, and the few friends that I have will surely stay away from me. It is crazy that I'm not feeling the sense of fear of losing anyone. This was definitely because I'm already used to being the island that I am.First and foremost, I'm not gay or anything. I know kissing August was the gayest shit I've done throughout my whole life, bu
AMBROSEWhat had happened in the comfort room was just a short fleeting moment worthy of forgetting in the next few hours. That I hope it would be. But I had never felt this kind of awkwardness mixed with some tension ever before in my life. I heard August turn on the faucet as I began unbuckling my belt. It is so strange that the irrelevant noise from these little things is suddenly making the situation unbearable. I shook the feeling away. I closed my eyes as I held Ambrose Junior free and focused on doing what I came here to do. I have been controlling myself since our History period began and for me to finally let this waste go felt so much like having an orgasm. I shrugged my shoulder and tilted my head as I felt my bladder dispose of all of the water that had been held captive for hours. I realized that the crashing sound I was creating was so loud that I couldn’t even hear if August was still washing his hands behind m
AMBROSEI have never tasted a cupcake this quite tasty in several months or even in my whole life. It doesn’t matter who it came from or who made it or who it is for. I was thoroughly captivated by this treat that I thought of having everything all for myself. Our first break was just a short fifteen minute but it was enough for me to bring the box of cupcake with me to the abandoned part of the school. I held the box with such caution as I climbed through the window. I was expecting to see Phil or even Marlon to be hiding here having their daily dose of cigarette but luckily I was the only one here. The dim and hollow space felt familiar but still different. I inched my way toward this old armchair and sat down before eventually ripping off the cover of the box. There are still five cupcakes with different designs left waiting for me. I wondered if each has different flavor too. The first one that I ate was a fruity vanilla and it was soft and fl
AMBROSEWalking out of the cafeteria and releasing all of my anger at this innocent tree was the only answer that I know to bring back my cool. I thought of skipping the rest of the day and just go swimming at the river to drown all of this rage and confusion that has been clinging on me. I’m shutting down and I don’t even know why. My hands turned red and itchy the moment I decided that I’m feeling a little bit okay. I walked towards one of the empty benches and sat down all alone and waited until the bell for our next period rang.The rest of my day reeled pretty quickly and I was glad that it was everything that I hoped for. Today’s our first day of basketball practice and I found myself changing with the rest of the team. I slipped on my jersey and I honestly don’t feel galvanized to finally touch a ball after how many months. I only joined this school’s basketball team because everybody thought I’m good at it. Being
AMBROSEI wasn’t so sure if I’m going to head inside the house now or should I just stay here outside for a bit longer. I don’t have the slightest problem being alone if the company that I’ll have is the company of the parents that has ceased showing love for their only child. I suddenly became nervous to see my parents after almost a month but that’s not something new. I’m pretty much certain that they look the same and will act the same towards me. They would still talk to me just like a regular person they know and that’s it. Of course I would talk back to them like the way I learned how to talk to them. I usually just give them a short and precise response to whatever they are asking or talking about. I only tell them such stories if they asked. I only smile if it’s necessary. I have lost all sense of the love and affection that I once had for them and they deserved it.I had this mixed feeling
AMBROSEI feel like I’m stuck in the middle of a thunderstorm right now. The strong gushing winds and the heavy downpour of joy, sadness, confusion and rage were all burning at a strong signal number five inside of me. I’m not sure if I can handle all of this but I will. I have to.The water trickled down on my body washing all the soap and dirt away. I stayed inside the shower for about five minutes taking this moment of solitude to calm myself. I just had to have a moment to prepare myself for what’s going to happen. I know I’m going to sit down in front of my dad and his new woman at the dining table. I don’t want to make things awkward even though that’s inevitable.By the time I emerged out of the shower my dad knocked on my door and he’s probably going to prep me for something that might come my way. That’s my initial thought. Perhaps he’s here to command me to not talk about my m