AMBROSE
The wind whipped off intensely as I stepped on the gas. The morning breeze combed my body as I covered the road. I'm more than psyched to see people again, even though I wouldn't give a crap about anyone. There's nothing for me to expect this Monday, as far I know, except for the thing that I had with August. That was a grave mistake, and I was so stupid that I got carried away by a fucking kiss. I guess I was quite a lucky person that no one witnessed that gay shit that I did. If someone had seen it, I wouldn't even be this excited to enter school. Everybody would probably make me their laughing stock, and the few friends that I have will surely stay away from me. It is crazy that I'm not feeling the sense of fear of losing anyone. This was definitely because I'm already used to being the island that I am.First and foremost, I'm not gay or anything. I know kissing August was the gayest shit I've done throughout my whole life, buAMBROSEWhat had happened in the comfort room was just a short fleeting moment worthy of forgetting in the next few hours. That I hope it would be. But I had never felt this kind of awkwardness mixed with some tension ever before in my life. I heard August turn on the faucet as I began unbuckling my belt. It is so strange that the irrelevant noise from these little things is suddenly making the situation unbearable. I shook the feeling away. I closed my eyes as I held Ambrose Junior free and focused on doing what I came here to do. I have been controlling myself since our History period began and for me to finally let this waste go felt so much like having an orgasm. I shrugged my shoulder and tilted my head as I felt my bladder dispose of all of the water that had been held captive for hours. I realized that the crashing sound I was creating was so loud that I couldn’t even hear if August was still washing his hands behind m
AMBROSEI have never tasted a cupcake this quite tasty in several months or even in my whole life. It doesn’t matter who it came from or who made it or who it is for. I was thoroughly captivated by this treat that I thought of having everything all for myself. Our first break was just a short fifteen minute but it was enough for me to bring the box of cupcake with me to the abandoned part of the school. I held the box with such caution as I climbed through the window. I was expecting to see Phil or even Marlon to be hiding here having their daily dose of cigarette but luckily I was the only one here. The dim and hollow space felt familiar but still different. I inched my way toward this old armchair and sat down before eventually ripping off the cover of the box. There are still five cupcakes with different designs left waiting for me. I wondered if each has different flavor too. The first one that I ate was a fruity vanilla and it was soft and fl
AMBROSEWalking out of the cafeteria and releasing all of my anger at this innocent tree was the only answer that I know to bring back my cool. I thought of skipping the rest of the day and just go swimming at the river to drown all of this rage and confusion that has been clinging on me. I’m shutting down and I don’t even know why. My hands turned red and itchy the moment I decided that I’m feeling a little bit okay. I walked towards one of the empty benches and sat down all alone and waited until the bell for our next period rang.The rest of my day reeled pretty quickly and I was glad that it was everything that I hoped for. Today’s our first day of basketball practice and I found myself changing with the rest of the team. I slipped on my jersey and I honestly don’t feel galvanized to finally touch a ball after how many months. I only joined this school’s basketball team because everybody thought I’m good at it. Being
AMBROSEI wasn’t so sure if I’m going to head inside the house now or should I just stay here outside for a bit longer. I don’t have the slightest problem being alone if the company that I’ll have is the company of the parents that has ceased showing love for their only child. I suddenly became nervous to see my parents after almost a month but that’s not something new. I’m pretty much certain that they look the same and will act the same towards me. They would still talk to me just like a regular person they know and that’s it. Of course I would talk back to them like the way I learned how to talk to them. I usually just give them a short and precise response to whatever they are asking or talking about. I only tell them such stories if they asked. I only smile if it’s necessary. I have lost all sense of the love and affection that I once had for them and they deserved it.I had this mixed feeling
AMBROSEI feel like I’m stuck in the middle of a thunderstorm right now. The strong gushing winds and the heavy downpour of joy, sadness, confusion and rage were all burning at a strong signal number five inside of me. I’m not sure if I can handle all of this but I will. I have to.The water trickled down on my body washing all the soap and dirt away. I stayed inside the shower for about five minutes taking this moment of solitude to calm myself. I just had to have a moment to prepare myself for what’s going to happen. I know I’m going to sit down in front of my dad and his new woman at the dining table. I don’t want to make things awkward even though that’s inevitable.By the time I emerged out of the shower my dad knocked on my door and he’s probably going to prep me for something that might come my way. That’s my initial thought. Perhaps he’s here to command me to not talk about my m
AUGUST“You can do this!” I tried convincing myself that everything’s going to be alright despite the fact that I have no assurance of that. I’m very well aware of the fact that anything can happen under the afternoon sun, especially when you are alone with the school’s number one bully.This is probably the most terrible idea that I have come up with and there’s a high chance that this is going to fuck me up in the face. Ambrose might potentially kill me for real and there’s a lot of factors to consider. First thing, he hated me to the bones. It is very much blatant that he has a lot of anger issues, he has all the arsenal in his pocket and he can easily dish out all of this bottled up anger all on me. Secondly, he’s very much capable of breaking my bones to pieces if he decides to. I believe I haven’t seen Ambrose’s true demon form that’s delicately wrapped in pure wrath. If he&r
AUGUST“What are you doing?” I asked even though I already know the clearest answer to that stupid query. He just got naked and there’s a river flowing right in front of us.Perhaps, this is just my crappy attempt at starting this agreed upon conversation with him. I know the incoming conversation that we are about to have will be interesting but I just want to warm things up. Ambrose appeared to be calm here and he even said that himself, but I still have the feeling that he might just pop off at any given time. I don’t know him that much and I’m sure as hell that I’m taking a few precautions to prevent something that I don’t want to happen. I want to make sure that I make him feel that it’s okay to have a conversation with me even though he doesn’t know how to talk.Ambrose doesn’t seem to have the slightest problem getting naked
AUGUST“Is that the bridge?” My eyes began to look at the serene scenery the moment we reached the top plateau of the boulder. I can see the curves of the river flowing quietly down to which I saw the top of the Mary Heights bridge. I can’t see the whole bridge because it’s covered by the lush branches and leaves but I recognized the top steel bars that completes it.“Yeah,” Ambrose nodded and sat down while I stayed standing as I laid my sight observing the vicinity.I looked down the river and noticed that the water current is strictly controlled by a barrier of rocks equally resembling a dam. This is why the water in this part doesn’t have that rapid current that could potentially pull you and restrict you from actually swimming. The water was clear as crystal given the bright afternoon sunlight. It’s almost as if I’m looking down at a huge magnifying glass or something. I can see all
AUGUSTI was already growing impatiently excited for Monday to come so I’d have to see Ambrose again and it really came faster than I would’ve even realized. Ambrose and I just shared sweet and thoughtful messages to each other throughout the rest of the weekend and it was giving me everything that I wanted. I can’t stop thinking about him and just everything that happened right between us. I’m pretty much confident that Ambrose can’t stop thinking about me too. He was telling me everything that’s happening inside their house throughout the weekend and I’m not even asking for it. He told me that he had a deep heart to heart conversation with his father about a lot of things and that his dad finally began growing closer to him. I was so happy for him that he’s finally getting what he truly deserves in this timeline and I know he deserves a lot of good things and a classic redemption. I
AUGUST“I didn’t know you brought a friend of yours home?!” The older man wearing this fancy royal blue suit mouthed when I brought myself into the picture basically referring to my sudden appearance. He seemed quite startled to see me emerge from the stairs. Just as the man was startled, I was stunned as well the moment that I heard him speak. The tone of his voice sounded professional and commanding at the very same time and it reminded me of the school’s headmistress.“Oh, yeah.” Ambrose trailed and it was pretty obvious in his tone of voice that he was faltering as he turned his head to look at me. “His name’s August. He’s one of my teammates.” He introduced me and while he said my correct name, I was confused when he said I was one of his teammates.I know he used to play basketball and used to be the captain of the team but this exchange m
AUGUSTThe bright sunlight just pierced right through my eyes when I opened them the next morning. I was facing the window and Ambrose was hugging me from behind and just being the bigger spoon. It took some time for my eyes to adjust from the brightness of daylight but after I got the hang of it, I instantly moved my head and I accidentally hit my head on Ambrose’s chin. The collision was quite hard enough that it woke him up as well.“Hmmmm.” Ambrose groaned from the pain and had to pull one of his hand to adjust from it.“Sorry about that.” I spat out and the words came out pretty hoarsely.“Good morning,” He greeted me with his guttural morning voice as he rubbed both of his eyes to adjust from the brightness of the daylight.“How was your night, Ambrose?” I asked as I stared at his messy just woke up face. He still looked pretty hot
AUGUSTMy heart just melted like a butter dropped on a hot steaming pan. Hearing Ambrose spill some of the truth that has been bottled up inside of him was completely heart wrenching in the most pitiful way. I know that his mother hated him because he already told me that a few weeks ago, but the things that came out after that was really a twist that I wasn’t expecting at all. I’m still trying to let the things that I’ve heard from Ambrose sink inside of my head. It was hard to hear him spit the words out and I didn’t think it was this hard to let it settle down too.I have never met anyone from Ambrose’s family before. I only saw the few members on the painting but that painting was a decade old. Still, I was actually looking forward to seeing them in person. I have yet to meet his famous father who have donated a lot of things at this town. I have yet to meet his mother who hate
AMBROSEDid I hear August enunciate the words right? I asked myself. I’m pretty sure I heard him say the words perfectly clear. I’m not going to hide anything. I was truly astonished by this secret even though it’s really nothing to be astonished about. We are both dudes who likes each other and has kissed more times than I could even remember. How gay could that possibly be?I was dead ass correct when I felt like August was about to drop some sort of a bomb. He really did drop the secret bomb and suddenly this telling of secrets while turned against each other’s back felt beneficial for both of us. I have never realized that he was actually gay until now that he has spilled the truth. All this time I thought he was really this straight guy that willing to explore all of the possibilities of things and I was just the gay one who’s afraid to admit the reality of things.It w
AMBROSEAugust doesn’t seem to be quite impressed by my mediocre dancing skills and to be quite honest with myself, if I was watching that shit go down too, I’d be disappointed. With that being said, I felt alright and I’m pretty much certain that he was entertained. And I’m entertained too. The smile on his face was just something that I’m gunning to see and I made him smile. I’m sure he’s feeling some type of way after just breaking up with his girlfriend a while ago.“What are you doing?” I deliberately asked the moment I noticed he was watching something on his phone. I leaned my head a bit towards him to get a sneak peek of what he was watching and it was just a video of some recognizable people from school at a random house party. “Where is that?” I followed up and casually snaked my arms around his shoulder. I’m becoming more and mor
AMBROSEThe night was pretty much moving slowly but it was everything that I wanted. I checked the clock hanging on the wall and it’s just nine pm. For a normal night, nine pm seemed like the right time to head to bed but for a Friday night, nine pm was agreeably too early.I was a bit shocked that the night’s still very much young. I’m not rushing or anything but then I realized maybe fate was making this moment just for me and August. Maybe fate wanted us to have more time to hang out and be with each other to compensate for the time that we had lost. Part of that was because I chose to ignore August for the entire week and if I had chosen to reply or even answer his calls then things would’ve been different. We haven’t seen each other this whole week and I don’t even want to admit it but I really do miss him in so many levels. I missed his smile that seemed to bring tranqu
AMBROSEI was instantly engulfed with the feeling of guilt and regret. I didn’t mean to shove August like that. I swear to whoever’s watching over us above the clouds. I might be the most violent person in this building but I’m pretty much honest that I didn’t want that to happen. I didn’t even think I put force into that. I completely thought I was just trying to keep him at bay from his attempt at preventing me from drinking the full glass of whiskey. It was never in my intention to hurt him. I had already reached the point where I was about to punch the wall brought about by the anger that I have for myself. And then it turns out that August was just playing with me. He was laughing hysterically that I was just confused at first. He was in pain, writhing like I’ve wrestled him hard on the ground. I saw it in his face that he was really feeling the agony from the supposed impact.
AMBROSEI have never imagined the day that I would hang out like this with August ever again. The last time August was here felt so much like a century ago. At least that’s all because I’m too distracted this past week that thinking about him was totally lost in the equation. I was on the verge of believing that I’ll never survive this hell of a week but here I am pouring whiskey on my glass with August sitting at the far corner of the couch.Things just went fast in a matter of hours that I’m still thinking about what happened back at the river. I had an extremely rough week that I just went to find solace at my favorite spot at the river not knowing that someone’s going to show up uninvited. I had never ever expected that August would show up at the river right at the moment where I didn’t know I needed his presence. I may have acted violent a few hours ago and that’s