“No. No, you cannot do that. There's still time to cancel your application.” He was affected by what I told him, but he was proving to be difficult. He held on to the steering wheel, probably trying to ground himself so he doesn't reach out and touch me.
“I told you already, I plan to disobey every single one of your rules.”
“Alec... You don't want to play this game with me.” His voice was lower, had even more vibration beneath it. Inside of my pants, I was hard, really hard. If he touched any part of my body right now, I might explode.
“Really? Because it seems like it is you who should not play this game with me.” I refute sharply.
We were dancing to a new tune, it was never like this between us. And now I was openly daring him. And he liked that I was daring him.
“You have gotten a lot bolder little good Alec.”
He said with raised brow. He used the nickname, a score for me.
“I was raised well.” I say, referring to him. He wanted me to say whatever I wanted, if it had consequences, I could face them later. Because not saying what you have to say was painful.
He smiled, impressed.
“Our world was at the resort. Here, it’s the real world. Go back Alec, for your sake and mine.”
This again?
I raise my chin stubbornly. “No, not unless you’re coming with me, and if you sneak out at night, I will follow you.”
He opens his mouth to argue, but I didn't want any more of that. He was my happiness, and I choose to pursue him.
“Nothing you say will change my mind. I was able to find you here even with a fake name. Imagine what I would do with your real one.” I say with a hand poised to pause his thoughts. I was pushing it now, being a brat.
I pull his phone out of the phone holder in front of him, the one that didn't make an appearance at the resort. The phone was password encrypted and his wallpaper was one of a home. I knew instinctively he designed the home.
“I want to input my phone number, so you can decide when next we meet, or I will keep randomly showing up.”
Silently, he takes the phone from me and inputs his pass-code. All the while I was buzzing with excited energy. Everything was sharper, brighter, even more beautiful.
“Call me.” I whisper, it is laced with the thing he liked so much, me begging.
Just as my hand touched the handle of the car, his voice makes me pause,
“You do know you'll pay for this right?”
Right on cue, my belly exploded with a mixture of feelings, anticipation, longing, excitement.
“I deserve it.” And then just before I leave, I tell him.
“I missed you.”
I wasn't sure I heard him correctly, or I imagined it, because he was gone when I turn around.
“Even more so, more than you know it.”
Maybe I heard it right, maybe it was wishful thinking. But I met him again. It took everything in me not to squeal. I didn't give up, I met him again.
“Christopher.” I try his name out loud.
“Did he say he was going to do it??” A woman asked, startling me. She came from behind me, still lugging a lot of bags around with her.
The woman that might be late for dinner. She made his food. I didn't allow my mind travel that way, because it was obvious it would end badly.
“Do what?”
She frowned, “Weren't you meeting him to design your home?”
Oh. She did think we were having a business meeting. She seemed close to him, she didn't know about me. Was I a secret?
“No, I applied to work here part time.”
Her brows relaxed, “I am in charge of that this time. Caitlyn Holt, everyone calls me Cait.”
She arranged her plenty bags into the other hand, stretching the other to shake me.
I take her hand, it was small in mine but she had a good grip and a firm handshake.
“Alec Sanchez.”
She nods once, retracting her hand and distributing the bags back into the other hand.
“Did you bring your car?”
I nod, pointing towards the beat up truck, I would have been ashamed, but Christopher liked it.
She grinned, “Great, mine is at the mechanic, Lord knows it develops a new fault the longer it stays there.” She walks in the direction of the car and wouldn't let me take some of her bags.
“Instead of that, I need you to drop me off. I got this new inspiration for this condo Chris flipped, and I had to.”
The excitement in her voice is contagious, so I don't mind dropping her off. Even if she got to call him Chris and I was just finding out his real name.
“Did you just move to town?” She asked looking at my stuff at the back.
I nod again, it seemed i only had words when I was talking with Christopher.
“Have you found a place to stay yet??”
There was excitement in the way she asked the question, so I hesitantly answer no.
“You are in luck. One of the apartments Chris flipped is on the market for a renter. I think you are going to love it.”
I already loved it hearing that it had something to do with Christopher. I didn't care if it was a tent, he flipped it, so it was perfect.
She went on and on about how all the apartments flipped by Christopher gets snatched immediately, but he just finished this one this last week, and nobody knew about it yet.
While I sat on his bed feeling like he left me behind, he was busy flipping apartments. It left me feeling sour, but I was here now. I wouldn't be left behind again.
“So, I assume you have your resumé on hand.”
I did, but it was on my phone and inside of my box, it was impressive since I spent my entire life accumulating work experience.
“Why do you want to work with us Alec?” She asked when I slowed down in front of the apartment that he just flipped.
On the tip of my tongue was my practiced speech I gave everyone that asked for it. But this time, something in her eyes stopped me.
I inhaled,
“I want to know how it happens, the magic of it all. What makes people so excited about construction... I want to learn.”
She chuckled breezily at my spiel.
“Well then, I think you are a perfect fit. Still, come in for the interview, it is only a formality.”
My heart swelled, feeling gratitude to the woman who I wanted to dislike, because she might mean something to Christopher. But how could I? She was so nice.
The moment I step into the apartment, it felt like I was transported back to the resort. His room back at the resort, mixed in with bits and pieces of how I decorated my old apartment, and then his touch.
“Wow.” I say softly.
Caitlyn chuckled,
“I still get that same feeling. It always blows me away. He remodeled the entire apartment and did the decorations himself. I would say he poured himself into it. He holed himself in here after he...” She caught herself. But I got it,
After he disappeared for days, without letting anyone know his location.
“Anyway, you'd be getting the best apartment out there.”
I knew that. I paid for two years upfront, surprising Caitlyn. But I couldn't let the apartment slip from my grasp.
Later when I was laying on the bed, looking at the ceiling that looked similar to the same one we stared at together back at the resort. While he listened to me ramble, his hands stroking my hair.
My phone dinged with a notification that pulled me upright, it was from him. It was an unsaved contact but the message...
“Daddy's little good boy? Really?”
I chuckled. That was the only way I could think of saving my number on his phone.
“I saved yours with Daddy.” I send quickly. I did save it that way.
His response doesn’t come until I had nearly bitten my nails to a quick.
“Heard you already got the job...”
They must be close... could they be living together? As what?
No. No. I couldn’t think about it.
During my internal monologue, his second message had come in.
“Too bad... I got work outside the state, and I would be gone for a long, long time.”
With a suppressed huff, I stare at the last of many messages I had sent since last night. A total of ten messages, all of them desperate, begging; just he way he liked it. And all of them went unanswered, he read all of them, pointedly ignoring them. I barely slept last night, and this morning, I almost slept through my alarm. To say I am having a rough morning is a gross understatement. I got to the venue with just a minute to spare, Cait gave me a suspicious glance, with no time to reprimand me, she nods in my direction. When they call my name, I steal a glance at the phone again, expecting and hoping for a response from him, but all I see is my last message, “At least tell me where you are.”He read it, to his credit, he read it few minutes after I sent it.“Mr. Sanchez?” The lady calling the names called out impatiently, no time for one more text, I hurry inside the room. For the first time in a while, I was actually nervous about the interview, the fear of failing and then
Silence.It’s crazy how silence can mean so much and so little at the same time. My mind cannot stop interpreting the silence from his end; maybe he had gotten bored of me, or sick and tired, maybe he was mad at me, I had broken the first rule he gave me after all. The biggest contender of all the maybes, me ignoring him was a step too far. Cradling my phone against my chest, I grind the insides of my cheek to stop myself from chewing on my nails, I had already started to bite them, a bad habit of mine I thought I had long lost. He was bringing out parts of me that were long lost. Or didn’t exist before.“Seriously, you might wear me down with all of that sighing.” Ash whispers quickly, her eyes remain on the man giving the orientation lecture. Since we sat in the conference hall, those of us who succeeded in getting the job, Ash has been laser focused on the lecture, while I couldn’t hear a word being said. I refresh my messages, the last message was the same one he sent and I ign
TEAM FIVE-- ALEC SANCHEZ.The words don’t change no matter how many times I stare at them. Jayce(I heard Ash call him that), had smiled patiently at me when I asked him to cross check the list once more, it could have been a mix up, team five??? “Please check your emails, you must have gotten mails from your team, that should contain everything you need to know. Now, you may return to your teams.”That was at least ten minutes ago, the lucky ones that got picked by team one and two, had hurried in their direction, already looking down on the rest of us. Great. My eyes return to the mail I received, the header was right there, the only person from this batch assigned to the least team, me. I don’t suppress a scoff, this was all his ploy to send me back, but it only made me want to fight against him even more. “I thought I had it worse…” Ash murmurs beside me, she stared at the orange block like it were her nemesis, in a way it was, starting out your career in the almost bottom team
Unique reason. Mr. Statham had a twinkle in his eyes that I could not decipher, when he said the words to me. His head cocked to the side as if sizing me up. I felt self conscious for a while right before I slipped out of the conference hall, embarrassment creeping up on me fast. “He said he had already gotten everyone he needed before it got to my turn.” Ash sighs, slinking beside me. Both of us crane our necks to look at the team one building. The answers to my question just beyond the doors.I knew his excuse, but i still wanted to know what he told Mr. Statham, I shiver just thinking about the way he stared at me. Did he know? I try to decipher what he was thinking when he stared at me. Finally, I shake my head, he couldn’t know. I was still Christopher’s secret. “I never expected his reason for rejecting you would be, not a team player.” Ash mutters, her voice thick with something I didn’t understand.He was right, I had never been a team player, I only knew how to do thing
Tense silence fill the room, everyone seem to be holding their breath, our eyes on this Shepherd that wasn’t mine. Sweat beads rolled down the sides of my head, his words replaying over and over in my head. He wants to kick me out, and he has the power to do so. Heels clicked their way into the room, breaking the silence, I still don’t look away from the Shepherd with hard eyes. “I am so sorry, Mr. Shepherd, he is one of us, and we haven’t had the chance to train him.”At the familiar, panicked voice of Caitlyn Holt, my eyes finally leave the man and find her, she looked distraught, her face pinched into one that was pleading with him. She grabs me by my wrist, pulling me to herself, now she was standing between Mr. Shepherd and myself, not much of shield as both of us tower over her, but the effect was amazing, I had been feeling very alone and very exposed, if she had come any later, I might have run away. Mr. Shepherd tilts his head in the air, Cait’s hold on my wrist tighten,
I press myself against him. The familiar sound of him sucking in through his teeth is sign that he feels me.I want to touch you. He had whispered in my ear at the resort, the first time I had pressed myself against him like this. He sucked in through his teeth then, so he must feel the same way now, I wanted him to say it again, the words drove me crazy. “Chris?”At the sound of Cait’s voice, he jumped away from me. The world spun in my vision, but I still had the wall behind me to support myself, my knees were buttery and my heart would not stop beating. There was a buzzing sound coming from somewhere around me, I didn’t know where. It took a while to realize the buzzing sound was my own whimpering, I work hard to shut myself up. I missed him the moment he withdrew himself away from me. I craved his touch, that much I knew, this was another level. Grinding my heels against the wooden floors was one thing, but I had to press myself against the wall to prevent launching myself to
I continue to stare at him. I watch as his mouth form words, he talks intently, explaining something I don’t hear. My mind churns with questions, reviewing everything I thought I knew about him, and what I knew now. He had looked like a man with a lot of burden when I first saw him, I assumed it was work related, but now I think-- my eyes drifting to Wes, who nods along to whatever it is Christopher is saying. What was it Cait said about him again? He was always working. It was starting to look like he put work before their relationship, maybe that was why he was at the resort. He was heart broken, and he used me to get him out of his system. I felt sick, physically sick. That was why he wanted me to leave so desperately, he didn’t want his boyfriend to know I existed. I press my lips together, tears burning the corner of my eyes. I force myself to stay in the present. I foolishly wanted to be by his side all these while. I had gone ahead of myself, thinking I meant something to hi
“How do I mourn what never lived?”The song’s singer must have followed me the entirety of last week, since that was how I felt. I had known him for a total of three days. And it took me three seconds to drown in his eyes, and even less to get me hooked. His rough hands as he peeled my clothes off. The heat of his mouth as he captured my mouth in his. His soft groans as he ordered me to touch him. The feel of him against my hands. I groan out loud. The memories had stirred something down there. I had never felt like this for anybody. My body naturally responded to the curve of his, when we laid in bed together, His large arms around me, we… fit. “This never happened.”It did. My body that shook from thoughts of him reminded me. “Forget me.”How could I possibly? It was the best three days of my life. I was able to be myself for those three days. He laughed at my jokes, completed some of them. He watched me like I was the best thing that ever happened to earth. He listened to
I continue to stare at him. I watch as his mouth form words, he talks intently, explaining something I don’t hear. My mind churns with questions, reviewing everything I thought I knew about him, and what I knew now. He had looked like a man with a lot of burden when I first saw him, I assumed it was work related, but now I think-- my eyes drifting to Wes, who nods along to whatever it is Christopher is saying. What was it Cait said about him again? He was always working. It was starting to look like he put work before their relationship, maybe that was why he was at the resort. He was heart broken, and he used me to get him out of his system. I felt sick, physically sick. That was why he wanted me to leave so desperately, he didn’t want his boyfriend to know I existed. I press my lips together, tears burning the corner of my eyes. I force myself to stay in the present. I foolishly wanted to be by his side all these while. I had gone ahead of myself, thinking I meant something to hi
I press myself against him. The familiar sound of him sucking in through his teeth is sign that he feels me.I want to touch you. He had whispered in my ear at the resort, the first time I had pressed myself against him like this. He sucked in through his teeth then, so he must feel the same way now, I wanted him to say it again, the words drove me crazy. “Chris?”At the sound of Cait’s voice, he jumped away from me. The world spun in my vision, but I still had the wall behind me to support myself, my knees were buttery and my heart would not stop beating. There was a buzzing sound coming from somewhere around me, I didn’t know where. It took a while to realize the buzzing sound was my own whimpering, I work hard to shut myself up. I missed him the moment he withdrew himself away from me. I craved his touch, that much I knew, this was another level. Grinding my heels against the wooden floors was one thing, but I had to press myself against the wall to prevent launching myself to
Tense silence fill the room, everyone seem to be holding their breath, our eyes on this Shepherd that wasn’t mine. Sweat beads rolled down the sides of my head, his words replaying over and over in my head. He wants to kick me out, and he has the power to do so. Heels clicked their way into the room, breaking the silence, I still don’t look away from the Shepherd with hard eyes. “I am so sorry, Mr. Shepherd, he is one of us, and we haven’t had the chance to train him.”At the familiar, panicked voice of Caitlyn Holt, my eyes finally leave the man and find her, she looked distraught, her face pinched into one that was pleading with him. She grabs me by my wrist, pulling me to herself, now she was standing between Mr. Shepherd and myself, not much of shield as both of us tower over her, but the effect was amazing, I had been feeling very alone and very exposed, if she had come any later, I might have run away. Mr. Shepherd tilts his head in the air, Cait’s hold on my wrist tighten,
Unique reason. Mr. Statham had a twinkle in his eyes that I could not decipher, when he said the words to me. His head cocked to the side as if sizing me up. I felt self conscious for a while right before I slipped out of the conference hall, embarrassment creeping up on me fast. “He said he had already gotten everyone he needed before it got to my turn.” Ash sighs, slinking beside me. Both of us crane our necks to look at the team one building. The answers to my question just beyond the doors.I knew his excuse, but i still wanted to know what he told Mr. Statham, I shiver just thinking about the way he stared at me. Did he know? I try to decipher what he was thinking when he stared at me. Finally, I shake my head, he couldn’t know. I was still Christopher’s secret. “I never expected his reason for rejecting you would be, not a team player.” Ash mutters, her voice thick with something I didn’t understand.He was right, I had never been a team player, I only knew how to do thing
TEAM FIVE-- ALEC SANCHEZ.The words don’t change no matter how many times I stare at them. Jayce(I heard Ash call him that), had smiled patiently at me when I asked him to cross check the list once more, it could have been a mix up, team five??? “Please check your emails, you must have gotten mails from your team, that should contain everything you need to know. Now, you may return to your teams.”That was at least ten minutes ago, the lucky ones that got picked by team one and two, had hurried in their direction, already looking down on the rest of us. Great. My eyes return to the mail I received, the header was right there, the only person from this batch assigned to the least team, me. I don’t suppress a scoff, this was all his ploy to send me back, but it only made me want to fight against him even more. “I thought I had it worse…” Ash murmurs beside me, she stared at the orange block like it were her nemesis, in a way it was, starting out your career in the almost bottom team
Silence.It’s crazy how silence can mean so much and so little at the same time. My mind cannot stop interpreting the silence from his end; maybe he had gotten bored of me, or sick and tired, maybe he was mad at me, I had broken the first rule he gave me after all. The biggest contender of all the maybes, me ignoring him was a step too far. Cradling my phone against my chest, I grind the insides of my cheek to stop myself from chewing on my nails, I had already started to bite them, a bad habit of mine I thought I had long lost. He was bringing out parts of me that were long lost. Or didn’t exist before.“Seriously, you might wear me down with all of that sighing.” Ash whispers quickly, her eyes remain on the man giving the orientation lecture. Since we sat in the conference hall, those of us who succeeded in getting the job, Ash has been laser focused on the lecture, while I couldn’t hear a word being said. I refresh my messages, the last message was the same one he sent and I ign
With a suppressed huff, I stare at the last of many messages I had sent since last night. A total of ten messages, all of them desperate, begging; just he way he liked it. And all of them went unanswered, he read all of them, pointedly ignoring them. I barely slept last night, and this morning, I almost slept through my alarm. To say I am having a rough morning is a gross understatement. I got to the venue with just a minute to spare, Cait gave me a suspicious glance, with no time to reprimand me, she nods in my direction. When they call my name, I steal a glance at the phone again, expecting and hoping for a response from him, but all I see is my last message, “At least tell me where you are.”He read it, to his credit, he read it few minutes after I sent it.“Mr. Sanchez?” The lady calling the names called out impatiently, no time for one more text, I hurry inside the room. For the first time in a while, I was actually nervous about the interview, the fear of failing and then
“No. No, you cannot do that. There's still time to cancel your application.” He was affected by what I told him, but he was proving to be difficult. He held on to the steering wheel, probably trying to ground himself so he doesn't reach out and touch me. “I told you already, I plan to disobey every single one of your rules.”“Alec... You don't want to play this game with me.” His voice was lower, had even more vibration beneath it. Inside of my pants, I was hard, really hard. If he touched any part of my body right now, I might explode. “Really? Because it seems like it is you who should not play this game with me.” I refute sharply. We were dancing to a new tune, it was never like this between us. And now I was openly daring him. And he liked that I was daring him. “You have gotten a lot bolder little good Alec.”He said with raised brow. He used the nickname, a score for me. “I was raised well.” I say, referring to him. He wanted me to say whatever I wanted, if it had consequen
“I saw the money you forgot.” I say quickly, giving him no room to argue with me.The room had been void of his things the next morning, but bundles of money stacked on top of the table, which I brought with me, remained. I wondered why the money was left behind, nothing else, just the money, everything else methodically wiped. He exhaled sharply, giving up the idea of pretending not to know me,“I didn’t forget it, it was for your time.”I had hoped that wasn’t it. I felt insulted, I enjoyed myself, I wasn’t someone who was selling his body for money, I wanted it. Still, I took a deep breath, it was part of my promise to myself, to do anything and everything in my power to be by his side. It was the first time I wanted something for myself, someone for myself. “I assumed, I took all of it, you can’t dream about taking a cent from it.”He stared at me in a way that said he didn’t want it back.“Good, because it was too much. I didn’t do anything for that much money. I wasn’t even