With a suppressed huff, I stare at the last of many messages I had sent since last night. A total of ten messages, all of them desperate, begging; just he way he liked it. And all of them went unanswered, he read all of them, pointedly ignoring them.
I barely slept last night, and this morning, I almost slept through my alarm. To say I am having a rough morning is a gross understatement. I got to the venue with just a minute to spare, Cait gave me a suspicious glance, with no time to reprimand me, she nods in my direction.
When they call my name, I steal a glance at the phone again, expecting and hoping for a response from him, but all I see is my last message,
“At least tell me where you are.”
He read it, to his credit, he read it few minutes after I sent it.
“Mr. Sanchez?” The lady calling the names called out impatiently, no time for one more text, I hurry inside the room. For the first time in a while, I was actually nervous about the interview, the fear of failing and then losing my chance to be close to Christopher was something I couldn’t afford.
I wipe my clammy hands on my pants before taking a seat in front of the panel of judges, Cait was one of the three. She smiled the brightest, for some reason, it calmed me down.
“Would it be okay with you if we taped this interview? We use it for future reference, nothing too dramatic.” Cait asked with a reassuring smile,
I didn’t know they did that, but I agree all the same, what else could it be used for?
And when the questions start coming, I answer them to the best of my ability, keeping my eyes on her the entire time.
“Thank you for your time Mr. Sanchez, someone from human resources will contact you soon.” Cait announced brightly when the scheduled five minutes were done.
Relief draped around my shoulders, making them slump physically, I was one step closer to being with him. Maybe I could get transferred to wherever it was he worked. I hurry out of the room, excited to share this news with him and then I bump into someone in my hurry.
Her bag falls, the contents spilling into the hallway. Apologizing, I help her scoop them back up, but she laughed breezily.
“It’s okay, I understand wanting to tell everyone the good news, I am assuming it is good news.” She says as we stand up together.
The sound of her care free laugh makes me look at her a little bit closer, she had her strawberry blond hair cascading down her back, and a light pink bow sitting on top of it. She looked to be around my age, and had a beautiful, inviting smile on her face. She is pretty.
“It is, and you, good news too?” I ask, noting the interviewer tag around her neck.
She laughs again,
“Is it that obvious?”
I laugh along because it is easy to laugh along with her,
“No, you are doing a really good job hiding it.”
She laughed again, “Gosh. After I graduated from college, everyone, including my professor’s said it was difficult for a woman to find job in this field. I almost believed them seeing Shepherd’s Construction was literally my last option.” she laughed again.
I understood that, other people telling you not to try was something I was well acquainted with. Alec, why not just find a job? What would you need a college degree for anyway? I agreed, and found part time jobs wherever I could.
“Well, let me be the first to say, congratulations on not listening to them, Miss…?”
She covered her mouth with the back of her hand, giggling,
“Harper, Miss Ashley Harper, but you should call me Ash. And thank you.” She rolled her eyes at the Miss, however, it doesn’t seem to stop her as she continued to smile.
“Congratulations Ash. You deserve it.”
“Congratulations Mr…?”
This time I am laughing, “Alec.”
“Well Mr. Alec no last name, would you care to join me for a celebratory drink? I have nobody else to celebrate with, and being alone on a day like this is very sad.”
I was alone too. Once I left this place, I had no where but the apartment to go to, and suddenly, I didn’t feel like being alone, so I shrug.
“Sure, why not.”
Ash ouu’s and ahhh’s at my truck, she says she was yet to get herself a car, so having one was more impressive to her.
“You aren’t from around here, are you?” she asked as I drove to the address she had inputted into the navigation system.
“What gave it away? My accent?” I say with a roll of eyes, I used to have an accent, but even that I was forced to lose. You have to learn to sound like you belong here. My grandmother used to tell me.
Ash chuckled,
“No, because everyone here is cut from the same cloth, and you my friend, are cut from a different cloth.”
I didn’t understand what that meant, but I didn’t want to seem slow to her by asking a question, she already thought I was different; if that was what she meant.
“You are right. I came here to follow my dreams.”
She nods like she gets me, maybe she does, but we weren’t talking about the same things, my dream was a person, hers was construction.
“I understand mine, but how come you have no one to celebrate with?”
She sighed, “My best friend and I moved here together, and when you study something as complicated as Architecture, you tend to not make other friends along the way. And she got married to a man who lives way over in Hattfield.” She sounds like she was still sulking about it. Which was understandable, Hattfield was three states away.
“Well, good thing we found each other. We would definitely need the company.” she says, snapping back into her excited mode. I didn’t want to ruin her mood by telling her I had someone else to keep me company, especially when she was clapping excitedly as the bar came into view.
It was no resort, but it was a sizeable bar, a few cars littered around. Neon lights strung around the name; Dive bar, blinked at us, welcoming us.
“First round is on me.” Ash clapped as she slipped out of the car.
I knew I wasn’t going to drink more than the supposed first round, since I would be driving. The roads here were busier than the ones back home, and I didn’t know it yet.
Plus, the last time I had a drink, I had it with him. At the thought of him, my chest constricted, I missed him. Ah. I hadn’t told him I got the job. Fishing out my phone, my heart slows, and my feet pauses at the entrance.
He had finally messaged me.
“You wouldn’t even tell me you got the job?”
My mouth dried, how did he know… Cait.. of course. Does that mean he was keeping tabs on me? Even worse, was he only going to send his own message and never respond to mine? He was expecting me to send a follow up text immediately, wanting me to beg…
I want to do it, my fingers itched to type, explain to him that I was going to tell him. But he had been ignoring me all day. Leaving me restless.
Shoving the phone back into my pocket, my heart raced. It was exciting as it was frightening. I find Ash easily, she was coming back to get me, and when she spots me, she smiles.
I smile back, ready to have a wonderful night out with my new friend, just like how he was having a day so wonderful, he ignored all of my texts.
Have a taste of your own medicine, Daddy.
Silence.It’s crazy how silence can mean so much and so little at the same time. My mind cannot stop interpreting the silence from his end; maybe he had gotten bored of me, or sick and tired, maybe he was mad at me, I had broken the first rule he gave me after all. The biggest contender of all the maybes, me ignoring him was a step too far. Cradling my phone against my chest, I grind the insides of my cheek to stop myself from chewing on my nails, I had already started to bite them, a bad habit of mine I thought I had long lost. He was bringing out parts of me that were long lost. Or didn’t exist before.“Seriously, you might wear me down with all of that sighing.” Ash whispers quickly, her eyes remain on the man giving the orientation lecture. Since we sat in the conference hall, those of us who succeeded in getting the job, Ash has been laser focused on the lecture, while I couldn’t hear a word being said. I refresh my messages, the last message was the same one he sent and I ign
TEAM FIVE-- ALEC SANCHEZ.The words don’t change no matter how many times I stare at them. Jayce(I heard Ash call him that), had smiled patiently at me when I asked him to cross check the list once more, it could have been a mix up, team five??? “Please check your emails, you must have gotten mails from your team, that should contain everything you need to know. Now, you may return to your teams.”That was at least ten minutes ago, the lucky ones that got picked by team one and two, had hurried in their direction, already looking down on the rest of us. Great. My eyes return to the mail I received, the header was right there, the only person from this batch assigned to the least team, me. I don’t suppress a scoff, this was all his ploy to send me back, but it only made me want to fight against him even more. “I thought I had it worse…” Ash murmurs beside me, she stared at the orange block like it were her nemesis, in a way it was, starting out your career in the almost bottom team
Unique reason. Mr. Statham had a twinkle in his eyes that I could not decipher, when he said the words to me. His head cocked to the side as if sizing me up. I felt self conscious for a while right before I slipped out of the conference hall, embarrassment creeping up on me fast. “He said he had already gotten everyone he needed before it got to my turn.” Ash sighs, slinking beside me. Both of us crane our necks to look at the team one building. The answers to my question just beyond the doors.I knew his excuse, but i still wanted to know what he told Mr. Statham, I shiver just thinking about the way he stared at me. Did he know? I try to decipher what he was thinking when he stared at me. Finally, I shake my head, he couldn’t know. I was still Christopher’s secret. “I never expected his reason for rejecting you would be, not a team player.” Ash mutters, her voice thick with something I didn’t understand.He was right, I had never been a team player, I only knew how to do thing
Tense silence fill the room, everyone seem to be holding their breath, our eyes on this Shepherd that wasn’t mine. Sweat beads rolled down the sides of my head, his words replaying over and over in my head. He wants to kick me out, and he has the power to do so. Heels clicked their way into the room, breaking the silence, I still don’t look away from the Shepherd with hard eyes. “I am so sorry, Mr. Shepherd, he is one of us, and we haven’t had the chance to train him.”At the familiar, panicked voice of Caitlyn Holt, my eyes finally leave the man and find her, she looked distraught, her face pinched into one that was pleading with him. She grabs me by my wrist, pulling me to herself, now she was standing between Mr. Shepherd and myself, not much of shield as both of us tower over her, but the effect was amazing, I had been feeling very alone and very exposed, if she had come any later, I might have run away. Mr. Shepherd tilts his head in the air, Cait’s hold on my wrist tighten,
I press myself against him. The familiar sound of him sucking in through his teeth is sign that he feels me.I want to touch you. He had whispered in my ear at the resort, the first time I had pressed myself against him like this. He sucked in through his teeth then, so he must feel the same way now, I wanted him to say it again, the words drove me crazy. “Chris?”At the sound of Cait’s voice, he jumped away from me. The world spun in my vision, but I still had the wall behind me to support myself, my knees were buttery and my heart would not stop beating. There was a buzzing sound coming from somewhere around me, I didn’t know where. It took a while to realize the buzzing sound was my own whimpering, I work hard to shut myself up. I missed him the moment he withdrew himself away from me. I craved his touch, that much I knew, this was another level. Grinding my heels against the wooden floors was one thing, but I had to press myself against the wall to prevent launching myself to
I continue to stare at him. I watch as his mouth form words, he talks intently, explaining something I don’t hear. My mind churns with questions, reviewing everything I thought I knew about him, and what I knew now. He had looked like a man with a lot of burden when I first saw him, I assumed it was work related, but now I think-- my eyes drifting to Wes, who nods along to whatever it is Christopher is saying. What was it Cait said about him again? He was always working. It was starting to look like he put work before their relationship, maybe that was why he was at the resort. He was heart broken, and he used me to get him out of his system. I felt sick, physically sick. That was why he wanted me to leave so desperately, he didn’t want his boyfriend to know I existed. I press my lips together, tears burning the corner of my eyes. I force myself to stay in the present. I foolishly wanted to be by his side all these while. I had gone ahead of myself, thinking I meant something to hi
“How do I mourn what never lived?”The song’s singer must have followed me the entirety of last week, since that was how I felt. I had known him for a total of three days. And it took me three seconds to drown in his eyes, and even less to get me hooked. His rough hands as he peeled my clothes off. The heat of his mouth as he captured my mouth in his. His soft groans as he ordered me to touch him. The feel of him against my hands. I groan out loud. The memories had stirred something down there. I had never felt like this for anybody. My body naturally responded to the curve of his, when we laid in bed together, His large arms around me, we… fit. “This never happened.”It did. My body that shook from thoughts of him reminded me. “Forget me.”How could I possibly? It was the best three days of my life. I was able to be myself for those three days. He laughed at my jokes, completed some of them. He watched me like I was the best thing that ever happened to earth. He listened to
“What do you mean? There must be hundreds of people working here, and you haven’t even checked.” I felt myself get defensive, my voice raising. The receptionist whose name tag read, Elsie, looked right and left nervously, as if looking for help from somewhere.“I have worked here for years, I know the names of everyone, and if you booked an appointment, it must be with a senior executive, none of them have the name Downing.” She licked her lower lip as she explained calmly, as if trying her best not to spook me. Now it was my turn to sweat. It was Shepherd’s Construction, I read all about how it was family owned, which meant the senior executives like she said would be Shepherd’s. “Asides the executives, no Downing at all?” My voice had gotten quieter, the top of my ears felt hot. He had made a comment about my impatience, that small smile accompanying it as his eyes followed me across the room. Elsie looked relieved that she wouldn’t be calling security, and she shook her head.“N
I continue to stare at him. I watch as his mouth form words, he talks intently, explaining something I don’t hear. My mind churns with questions, reviewing everything I thought I knew about him, and what I knew now. He had looked like a man with a lot of burden when I first saw him, I assumed it was work related, but now I think-- my eyes drifting to Wes, who nods along to whatever it is Christopher is saying. What was it Cait said about him again? He was always working. It was starting to look like he put work before their relationship, maybe that was why he was at the resort. He was heart broken, and he used me to get him out of his system. I felt sick, physically sick. That was why he wanted me to leave so desperately, he didn’t want his boyfriend to know I existed. I press my lips together, tears burning the corner of my eyes. I force myself to stay in the present. I foolishly wanted to be by his side all these while. I had gone ahead of myself, thinking I meant something to hi
I press myself against him. The familiar sound of him sucking in through his teeth is sign that he feels me.I want to touch you. He had whispered in my ear at the resort, the first time I had pressed myself against him like this. He sucked in through his teeth then, so he must feel the same way now, I wanted him to say it again, the words drove me crazy. “Chris?”At the sound of Cait’s voice, he jumped away from me. The world spun in my vision, but I still had the wall behind me to support myself, my knees were buttery and my heart would not stop beating. There was a buzzing sound coming from somewhere around me, I didn’t know where. It took a while to realize the buzzing sound was my own whimpering, I work hard to shut myself up. I missed him the moment he withdrew himself away from me. I craved his touch, that much I knew, this was another level. Grinding my heels against the wooden floors was one thing, but I had to press myself against the wall to prevent launching myself to
Tense silence fill the room, everyone seem to be holding their breath, our eyes on this Shepherd that wasn’t mine. Sweat beads rolled down the sides of my head, his words replaying over and over in my head. He wants to kick me out, and he has the power to do so. Heels clicked their way into the room, breaking the silence, I still don’t look away from the Shepherd with hard eyes. “I am so sorry, Mr. Shepherd, he is one of us, and we haven’t had the chance to train him.”At the familiar, panicked voice of Caitlyn Holt, my eyes finally leave the man and find her, she looked distraught, her face pinched into one that was pleading with him. She grabs me by my wrist, pulling me to herself, now she was standing between Mr. Shepherd and myself, not much of shield as both of us tower over her, but the effect was amazing, I had been feeling very alone and very exposed, if she had come any later, I might have run away. Mr. Shepherd tilts his head in the air, Cait’s hold on my wrist tighten,
Unique reason. Mr. Statham had a twinkle in his eyes that I could not decipher, when he said the words to me. His head cocked to the side as if sizing me up. I felt self conscious for a while right before I slipped out of the conference hall, embarrassment creeping up on me fast. “He said he had already gotten everyone he needed before it got to my turn.” Ash sighs, slinking beside me. Both of us crane our necks to look at the team one building. The answers to my question just beyond the doors.I knew his excuse, but i still wanted to know what he told Mr. Statham, I shiver just thinking about the way he stared at me. Did he know? I try to decipher what he was thinking when he stared at me. Finally, I shake my head, he couldn’t know. I was still Christopher’s secret. “I never expected his reason for rejecting you would be, not a team player.” Ash mutters, her voice thick with something I didn’t understand.He was right, I had never been a team player, I only knew how to do thing
TEAM FIVE-- ALEC SANCHEZ.The words don’t change no matter how many times I stare at them. Jayce(I heard Ash call him that), had smiled patiently at me when I asked him to cross check the list once more, it could have been a mix up, team five??? “Please check your emails, you must have gotten mails from your team, that should contain everything you need to know. Now, you may return to your teams.”That was at least ten minutes ago, the lucky ones that got picked by team one and two, had hurried in their direction, already looking down on the rest of us. Great. My eyes return to the mail I received, the header was right there, the only person from this batch assigned to the least team, me. I don’t suppress a scoff, this was all his ploy to send me back, but it only made me want to fight against him even more. “I thought I had it worse…” Ash murmurs beside me, she stared at the orange block like it were her nemesis, in a way it was, starting out your career in the almost bottom team
Silence.It’s crazy how silence can mean so much and so little at the same time. My mind cannot stop interpreting the silence from his end; maybe he had gotten bored of me, or sick and tired, maybe he was mad at me, I had broken the first rule he gave me after all. The biggest contender of all the maybes, me ignoring him was a step too far. Cradling my phone against my chest, I grind the insides of my cheek to stop myself from chewing on my nails, I had already started to bite them, a bad habit of mine I thought I had long lost. He was bringing out parts of me that were long lost. Or didn’t exist before.“Seriously, you might wear me down with all of that sighing.” Ash whispers quickly, her eyes remain on the man giving the orientation lecture. Since we sat in the conference hall, those of us who succeeded in getting the job, Ash has been laser focused on the lecture, while I couldn’t hear a word being said. I refresh my messages, the last message was the same one he sent and I ign
With a suppressed huff, I stare at the last of many messages I had sent since last night. A total of ten messages, all of them desperate, begging; just he way he liked it. And all of them went unanswered, he read all of them, pointedly ignoring them. I barely slept last night, and this morning, I almost slept through my alarm. To say I am having a rough morning is a gross understatement. I got to the venue with just a minute to spare, Cait gave me a suspicious glance, with no time to reprimand me, she nods in my direction. When they call my name, I steal a glance at the phone again, expecting and hoping for a response from him, but all I see is my last message, “At least tell me where you are.”He read it, to his credit, he read it few minutes after I sent it.“Mr. Sanchez?” The lady calling the names called out impatiently, no time for one more text, I hurry inside the room. For the first time in a while, I was actually nervous about the interview, the fear of failing and then
“No. No, you cannot do that. There's still time to cancel your application.” He was affected by what I told him, but he was proving to be difficult. He held on to the steering wheel, probably trying to ground himself so he doesn't reach out and touch me. “I told you already, I plan to disobey every single one of your rules.”“Alec... You don't want to play this game with me.” His voice was lower, had even more vibration beneath it. Inside of my pants, I was hard, really hard. If he touched any part of my body right now, I might explode. “Really? Because it seems like it is you who should not play this game with me.” I refute sharply. We were dancing to a new tune, it was never like this between us. And now I was openly daring him. And he liked that I was daring him. “You have gotten a lot bolder little good Alec.”He said with raised brow. He used the nickname, a score for me. “I was raised well.” I say, referring to him. He wanted me to say whatever I wanted, if it had consequen
“I saw the money you forgot.” I say quickly, giving him no room to argue with me.The room had been void of his things the next morning, but bundles of money stacked on top of the table, which I brought with me, remained. I wondered why the money was left behind, nothing else, just the money, everything else methodically wiped. He exhaled sharply, giving up the idea of pretending not to know me,“I didn’t forget it, it was for your time.”I had hoped that wasn’t it. I felt insulted, I enjoyed myself, I wasn’t someone who was selling his body for money, I wanted it. Still, I took a deep breath, it was part of my promise to myself, to do anything and everything in my power to be by his side. It was the first time I wanted something for myself, someone for myself. “I assumed, I took all of it, you can’t dream about taking a cent from it.”He stared at me in a way that said he didn’t want it back.“Good, because it was too much. I didn’t do anything for that much money. I wasn’t even