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A word with my Saviour.
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DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) 07— Two days afterwards.
07— Two days afterwards. “Sometimes we feel so little yet say so much.” —Saumya Tripathi “Life is an unexpected rollercoaster ride.” The thought invaded my mind as I stared into nothingness. Sometimes in life, we anticipate those things that are not in our hands; perhaps it is human nature that always moves but gets less. However, life is so uncanny, strange, and difficult to understand or even explain that no one can be sure of anything, regardless of what they say or do. If one were to explain life, they would have never been able to. Befuddled perhaps, but things can never be predicted about what could happen next, likely in the very next movement. The truth is that the things we anticipate the most never seem to come true, and the things we would have never imagined, even in our own dreams, happen in reality. To some extent, these are the only facts that humans can use as facts to describe such circumstances. As for myself, I could have never expected such a ferocious day whe
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) The big plan.
The big plan. "Hm-hm, you know you can ask me more than one question as you like. I will invariably be there for your hotty-naughty question, you know." She joked with a wink at my uneasy face. She was such an exuberant person. I couldn't help but think to myself. "Kidding babe. Now, shoot!" "You don't know me; then why do you care so much? How can you be so courteous to me?" I inquired, my voice coming out just above a whisper with my clogged throat. "I am left alone with a baby brother in this whole world by myself," I said in a broken voice after a pause with a bent head. "I feel lost and alone." The last part was barely audible. "Ssh. Don't cry; you are not alone. We are family now—me, Zahar, your little brother, and many more; just wait till you come across them. You will never be alone again. Trust me, they will all love you!" Sitting by my side, Sabba held my hand and squeezed it lightly, consoling me while rubbing my back. After a movement of silence, Sabba ordered: "N
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) A ray of Hope.
A ray of Hope. 12: 00 a.m.- midnight. Right at twelve, the door of the bedroom opened, and Fatima Ma'am came in hastily with a small bag in her hand. "Good thing you are awake," she said while locking the door silently. “It's time.” I breathed a sigh of relief. “It is.” "Is he asleep?" She demanded, peeping behind me. Understanding, she was asking about my brother. "He is," I responded. “It's two hours now.” "Good! I don't want my plan to be foiled by some stupid, senseless kid," she said impudently, sighing. Why was she always so rude about everything? My baby brother was neither stupid nor some senseless kid. I wanted to articulate that to her, but I couldn't say that because it would be improper when she was only trying to help us out. Hence, I kept mum, gulping. I just wanted to leave, even if I had to take some insults. Let's be it. And Maa always used to say that if someone was rude to you, don't, in return, be rude to them. It would be pointless and only make the m
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) 08— Escaping from the doomed place.
08— Escaping from the doomed place. “And sometimes we feel so deeply yet say nothing.” —Saumya Tripathi Huddled up against the side of the bed with my brother asleep soundly, I hefted up a sign. “I hope everything goes as planned.” This short time literally felt like the longest hour of my life. I was perhaps waiting for fifteen minutes, but it felt as if hours had gone by and yet the fifteen minutes had not arrived. I mused to myself, woefully. “Why is the time slower than usual?” I was optimistic as well as agitated and scared out of my wits, and above all, I somewhat felt satisfied in the hope of returning home. My home. It was where the remnant memories of my parents lingered in the air of my abode, however. Blinking from my trance, I stared ahead of me at the gigantic window where a gust of air was flowing, making the curtains give a swaying twist. It seemed almost exquisite and tranquil. The room was muffled and the lights were off, which allowed the lighting to peep into t
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) A beautiful nostalgia.
A beautiful nostalgia. “Now, you'll have to take responsibility for him. Will you?” I was enthusiastic while nodding. “I will! I will!” They laughed. “You better keep your promise.” The air in the hospital room was light and gleeful, and so were the faces of the visitors. We were happy—and on top of the world. Our happiness was reverberating on our faces as well as in our hearts, apart from the tears that were constantly brimming in the eyes of the three of us. Nothing could have made us feel more happy in that moment. Regardless, I blinked back a couple of times to clear my distinct visions of my nostalgic thoughts. Those were the movements I would want to live in again and again and again. Only if it were that easy. Withal, I felt the dampness of tears still lingering on my wet cheeks. Swallowing back with difficulty, I wiped it from the back of my hand. Why did you both leave us here all over, Papa Maa? Why? But the veracious truth of reality hit me hard— harder than I c
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) A step forward.
A step forward. After waiting for quite a long time, I was almost in a panic-stricken state until I saw Fatima from behind the tree where I was sitting. Sprinting straight up to the guards in nothing but a full nightgown that was even opened from the front and was giving the full view of her neckline and fair chest, no maiden in her right mind could even think of doing such things. On the other hand, she did and, however, looked perturbed and terrified. Was she okay? Has something happened? I ducked my head more behind the thick maple tree. And signed in relief. It was all an act. I reminded myself. “Please make them believe her.” However, only faint voices were what I heard from where I sat, but peaking at Fatima and her exaggerated manner in which she was elaborating something horrible, and from the guards' exasperation, I frowned and gaped. Was she really acting? Or something bad had happened to her? Oh! No, please, Shiv Ji, don't let anything happen to her. She was my on
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) 09— Disbelief.
09— Disbelief. “If I say peace— ultimately think, I am talking about Banaras.” —Saumya Tripathi The cold wave of air swept past me as I stepped forward, another step before me. The night was silent—too silent at that. It was so quiet, with only discreet voices of unknown organisms yelling now and then, along with the sound of heavily flowing air swivelling around us in the immensely silent vicinity. With the cold air skirting us in its confinements, I barely concentrated on the projected task before me, however. The silence felt soothing yet appalling. "You should probably get going," she accentuated, glancing back over her shoulder, breaking the captivating silence between us. “It's no good to waste time.” She seemed pensive as well as alarmed when motioning for me to proceed outside with a nod of her head over her shoulder. Showing me that I didn't have enough time to waste even a single second on flapping about the things that hadn't happened yet but probably could if I didn'
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) A Brief History of the city Varanasi.
A Brief History of the city Varanasi. "It is pronounced to be the city of 'Lord Shiva,' not only in India but in the entire world." The integrity of this city is that it is not only the oldest but also one of the holiest cities known in the cosmos. It is conceived that the path of land lying between the two tributes of the Ganges, Varuna and Asi, which flank its northern and southern borders, was named 'Varanasi', the holiest of all pilgrimages. In the sixth century B.C., Varanasi became the capital of the kingdom of Kashi. It is a city situated in the northern Indian state of U.P. Categorically, Varanasi is not merely a name that has been known in the entire world, but it has come to be known by different names: Kashi, Banaras, Benaras, and many more, apparently. Articulately, Varanasi is not only a city of eight letters; perhaps, because steeped in tradition and mythological legacy, Kashi is believed to be the 'Original Ground' created by 'Lord Shiva,' and 'Goddess Parvati.'
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DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Notice.
Hello! The second part of the book will be available on my GN profile. Don't forget to check it out! I cannot thank you enough for showing your love, support and your patience on this book. I've been broken down writing this so many times I lost count! But you were always there to push me up. I am grateful enough for that. Your reviews, likes and comments help me to drive myself to write. Moving forward I hope you liked this book! Your love for my book is truly inspiring. Once again thank you for reading my amazing readers, without you I would be nothing! I promise to be a better author or I will try to be. Also, I can't wait to hear from you on the second part of the book! Happy reading!
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Horrendous night.
Caution: Mature theme ahead. Horrendous night. “I am in no need of a blowjob right now. You can leave.” His tone sounded so cold. So unforgiving. “I-I am..” “You should better leave,” he was barely able to utter in a clear voice. “I don't need your assistance. Not today.” Her face turned red at his blurted reply. Feeling repulsed, she dismissed his words before moving forward to remove the empty alcohol bottle and almost-filled ashtray from beside him. “I- I am not here for that.” “I told you to leave.” A rough touch on her wrist bothered her. She tried looking into his eyes to grasp any gap to support her point. “I came here to check on you, Uzair.” “I am alive. Am I not?” His tone sounded heavy with all the emotional lumps he could feel in his throat, which, in turn, scared her. His behaviour with her. “So, leave.” He commanded. “Just let me check.” “Did I ask you to?” “No.” “Then stay the fuck away!” “You can hurt yourself or cause physical pai
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) 17— His Insight.
17— His Insight. “It is so simple to be happy yet so difficult to be simple.”Four hours later.There, he sat on the counter in the kitchen, barely sober. With an almost non-touched plate of noodles kept beside him, a plate full of ashes in the ashtray, and two empty bottles of three-year-old Irish whisky laid horizontally near his thigh, he continued to smoke and get intoxicated without pause. The emotional pain he felt was too much to endure in this state. Putting the lean stick inside his mouth, he inhaled, lying down on his back on the oak table along with his spare hand at the back of his head. “Fuck!” He roared angrily. “Damn it!”With a scathing look in his eyes at the burning cigarette that his fingers held, he muttered,“Why does she have to defy my way every damn time?” Gasping the smoke out through his nose, “Why not for once she could do as she is told without me having to force her into listening to me?” He spoke out loudly in frustration, rubbing his face with force.
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Prison.
Prison. Wiping my tears, I kept mum, listening to him, and my breathing came out warm and dense.Cuddling my baby to me, I sat there nonplussed with fear of losing the only family left: my little Shaurya. Wiping my tears repeatedly from my hands, I steadied my brother, making him sit on the opposite side of him. Away—as far as I could get from him in the provided space.Silence.For a long moment, there was nothing but silence as I sat stiff and horrified with Shaurya on my lap. My crying had diminished with time. Nevertheless, my eyes and throat felt sore. And I found myself feeling dizzy and weak.Later on, there was a moment of pregnant silence in the already heavy air within the car. He spoke softly. "Don't ever cry like that. Ever! Do you hear me?" His voice held emotions of pain and anguish, though.As if he were a human. But I could be wrong. Because, logically speaking, how could someone like him even feel after having done something so monstrous to us? His face went pale w
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Plead.
Plead. "Just—just don't hurt him, sir. Please!" I articulated to him while both hands folded with entwined fingers in front of him beseechingly. “Please… Not him..” "I won't have to, you see, little one.” I stared. “If you will listen to me, I won't have to do a thing," he alluded, gazing yet again. “It's simple; just do as you're told.” The silence was what he got as voices inside my head started to chant out: You have to go with him now. You don't have a choice anymore. Do you? No. You couldn't exactly leave your little brother alone with them. With him! Would you? Another certain voice at the back of my mind shuddered out. Within my own turmoils of my inner notions, I did not realise what happened next as it spurted like flopping birds in the mountains. "We have wasted more than enough time already. I cannot afford to waste more time; moreover, let's just get going." Bending a little more in my direction, he took my hand, which was prodding in the grime of the splotchy road
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) 16— Home but not ours!
16— Home but not ours! In the longest silence that followed, he wanted to tell her a thousand things. . . . Beginning with a plea that she could stay. The need to beg, pulsed in his veins. Yet, hoping against hope, he wished she stayed. — Saumya Tripathi “If it were on me, I would never come with you.” “That's a fortunate thing it isn't on you then,” he bent and whispered in my ear. "Otherwise, that would have turned out to be such a disappointment. Wouldn't you agree?” His words were like a dagger piercing through the heart. With a touch of poison rooted in the tone, I inched back. “Why?” There was a catch in my tone. I wanted him to know what he wanted from me. I would never give it to him willingly. Not until I knew I still had a fight left in me. “Why are you torturing me like this?” He clenched his jaws while levelling with me with an angry frown. Moving closer, he leaned towards me, his hand capturing almost the whole of my already wet face. “Because it's the only ch
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Monster.
Monster. “I like seeing your doe-like eyes have hope in them,” he whispered. “I sure did. Didn't I?” Am I deluding myself completely? No. How could I when he said it himself only a couple of moments ago? I heard him. And I know I heard him correctly. My eyes veered up at him as I gazed up, inching my head a little more. I looked at him without moving a muscle as he remained kneeling on one knee with a hand extended still towards me. For me to hold. For me to take. He blinked at me twice. His face was still impassive. Or was it I who didn't even know how to read people? Was I that bad at understanding people? Maybe I was naive, as his face stayed impassive all the time. “Will you take us home?” I finally broke the silence. "I will.” I was confused, but hopeful. “My home?” I tried to confirm. “I did say home. Our home. Not the one you used to stay in. But this is the one you will be staying in from now on. Now let's get going, shall we? If your inquiring session has ceased,"
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Reluctance.
Reluctance. My eyebrows arched at the man as he looked down straight at me boldly. Tearing my gaze from the road, I inched my head up, in his direction, slowly. My eyes held my afflictions and pains, along with my tears of suffering. I peered at him. Maybe pleadingly. Hoping against hope, I pleaded through my raw, croaked voice: "Please, sir, don't do this to me. It is only he who has been left behind by my parents; if anything happens to him, I can't afford it," I croaked up at him. "I just can't." "I don't desire that either. I don't want that to happen.” His eyes held nothing. “Don't force me to do something I don't intend to.” He's going to hurt Shur if I don't listen to him. “Just come with me, and you both will be safe and secure under my supervision, and your brother will be in your hands in no time. I can guarantee you that." He nodded at one of the men that was standing near him and very gently handed my baby brother to him, who took him in his awaiting bulky arms g
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) 15— Talks and beseeching! (Part-2)
15— Talks and beseeching! (Part-2) “We judge people as it is obvious psychology of humans to do so. But the question is: is it worth it? To judge everyone based on how they look? By how do they present themselves? By how do they choose to act? Because some people ought to be felt rather than observed. As you truly cannot judge people by their outer layers, that would be so unfair, some people should only be gazed upon by their hearts instead of eyes.” — Saumya Tripathi “However, if I have to, I will. But you already know that. Don't you?” I did. His deep, uncaring tone sent chills down my spine. “It totally depends on what you choose.” He waited. “Either it is your way or I will make you.” Anger spiked in my stomach as if molten lava had been kept in it. I needed to get over this. I needed to get away from him. I had to get over it as quickly as possible. I had to! I didn't have much of a choice. As if knowing my state, the breeze picked up. Darkness had finally caught up to
