10— The taste of freedom. “Nowadays pain isn't present in tears. It is present in smiles.” —Saumya Tripathi "I will have to call my uncle first thing as soon as I can to let him know about my location. Immediately, but before that, I better get out of here first," I crammed, agreeing to myself. I better get going. Oh god! Let him be safe. Let him be safe. Closing my eyes, I prayed desperately for my old uncle's well-being. Perplexed as I was, I tried to avert my mind from my desperate turmoils that were actually clouding my sense of thinking rationally. Crying never helped anyone. Had it? No! It never had. Then, how come it will now? Why would it? It will not. Crying will never help me get away. Never had. Never will. Crying won't let me out of this place. And Papa also never would have allowed me to cry like this—like a vulnerable child in any situation. Such as this very perilous condition. I nodded staunchly. I repeatedly agreed on the same sentences while chanting in differe
The Phone call. My heart pounded incredulously and restlessly. I had never felt this alone in my life. Never. And with this crowd, I was somewhat nervous and terrified. I breathed hard. Wandering around with panicked eyes for the electronic contraption that must be somewhere, I searched thoroughly through my eyes to be fixed on the telephone I was so frantically searching for. I was vaguely exhausted and somewhat relieved to find the phone sooner than I expected. I, without halting, approached the device across the enormous hall of a huge crowd, breathing somewhat hard with Shaurya tucked safely in my arms. By reaching, I stayed standing for some seconds for my erratic breaths to calm down. Although remaining firm in front of the phone booth, I searched for a few coins in my pouch, and to my luck, I got some—enough to talk to my uncle. How thoughtful of her! I thought. She must have known I'd need them. I thanked her inwardly. I smiled and wept at the same time. Going inside and dro
Caged. "Radhika..." "Radhika....." “Radhika….” She was running away. Racing as fast as her wobbling feet could let her into an unknown realm of darkness surrounding her vicinity without halting, even for a moment to take a shaky breath calmly, she ran. In consternation at being caught by what and who she did not know. Though her steps hadn't wavered yet, when she felt her lungs burning inside her upper abdomen, she stopped and breathed. "Radhika..." "Radhika....." “Radhika….” Somebody was calling her, and she was sure of that. "Radhika..." "Radhika....." “Radhika….” The voice called again. It was trying to reach her. "Radhika..." "Radhika....." “Radhika….” She was terrified out of her wits. “Where are you going, Radhika?” Her name was being addressed, and she heard it yet again, confirming her thoughts that she was indeed being called by someone. She could have sworn for that. Her skin tingled with an unknown terror and dread within herself about what she certain
11— Oh! Shiv Ji, please no, how? why? “At some time, everyone wants to be understood by someone. But no one is trying to understand the other. Why? If you really want to be understood: try to understand first.” — Saumya Tripathi “No..no..no..No!” I woke up with a jolt, sweating. My heart felt as if it wanted to jump out of my chest. Awash with perplexity and dread, I tried to grasp the bits and pieces of the situation. Deflating through my mouth, I took deep and long breaths to calm the restlessness I felt taking place inside. Was that a dream? Still, somewhere between half awake and half asleep, I pondered over, slightly confused and bothersome about the whole ordeal. It had to be. The thought itself made me feel the need to get far away from anywhere near that shadow. However, the vividness of the scene from the dream made my body tingle with fear and anxiety. I was certainly uncertain about what I saw. It took me a while to confirm that it was, in fact, a dream. It was mor
Heart-wrenching. Tilting my head in the woman's direction, I saw her looking at my baby brother on my lap with a trace of a smile playing on the corner of her lips, however. "Is the child yours?" Catching my gaze, she asked. Unnerved, upon hearing her, I was stuck for the first few seconds, but when the meaning struck me after a few movements, my breath hitched in my throat. "N-no! He is my baby brother." I faltered at her abstract question but answered politely nonetheless. She smiled abashedly at me. "Oh, sorry. I should have thought about it. You know, you both almost look alike, and that reason pretty much confused me," she said, catching me off guard. Knowing not how to reply, I nodded again meekly at her, smiling lightly. Showing it was all right. “You both have a great age difference.” I nodded at her with another one of my soft smiles. “We do.” When will the rain stop? It had been raining cats and dogs since I woke up. I mused, turning my head to stare out of the opened
Appalled. "Child, if you're worried about the departure of this very train, then you must not worry as, due to the sudden and grave climate, the schedule of all trains has been delayed and they will not be rescheduled until the coming morning," she reminded me in haste. “You don't have to panic. I'll stay here with you if you want me to,” she offered. Hot tears of suffering and fear blurred my vision. Still spellbound by the uncertain, shadowy figure that stood outside the windowpane of the train, a few feet away from where I sat, I blinked again, praying that he would be a figment of my imagination. Promptly, turning at her side, I profoundly stared at the kind lady beside me who was shaking my shoulder slightly with a worried expression on her face at my dishevelled state that occurred all of sudden, but my implicated and perplexed mind was far away from her genuine concern. How could something like that even be possible? He did not know the location, even if we were here! My f
12— Unbidden departure! “It was darkness: blinding with absolute rage, ache and emptiness. Everything felt constricted, everything felt out of place, out of reach, nothing seemed right anymore, nothing seemed to matter anymore. The power once felt so potent, so strong— felt like a thin thread of broken trust, bond and loyalty. Everything felt like the gripping darkness of the night, nibbling on the outside to reach the insides to take control. To take control of the mind; the grasping silence that has billions of emotions overpowering each other felt— an immense amount of numbness, surrounding it: surrounding the psyche in a death grip.” — Saumya Tripathi ••• November 3 Location— Cantt station, Varanasi. Timing— 3:27 a.m “If you came here to take us back, then you are highly mistaken.” My voice came out stronger, contrary to what I felt inside. I was nothing but a trembling bundle of nerves inside. “We are waiting for my uncle to re
Hindrance. For a good couple of minutes, we just peered into each other's eyes. None of us were backing down. His intense, dark pools seemed to be gazing deep into my soul. I sat there with disbelief and seethed anger within my calmed countenance. I wanted nothing more than for him to leave. "It's not safe for two kids to roam outside at this hour of the night. But you do know that already. Don't you?" Without blinking, he uttered those words serenely, his voice sounding warm and soft at the same time. However, the severe underlying threat in the tone couldn't be ignored as he said, "Was it even worth the work when you knew it wouldn't be possible?” Ignoring his remark, I stayed calm and quiet, glaring at him nonetheless. “Have you lost all sense of understanding the situation?” “No, I haven't!” With anger and fear blinding me, I took a few moments to find my voice before answering him. "Hm... And, pray tell, who do you think you are to tell me that?" Eyes clashed with one ano