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DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Appalled.
Appalled. "Child, if you're worried about the departure of this very train, then you must not worry as, due to the sudden and grave climate, the schedule of all trains has been delayed and they will not be rescheduled until the coming morning," she reminded me in haste. “You don't have to panic. I'll stay here with you if you want me to,” she offered. Hot tears of suffering and fear blurred my vision. Still spellbound by the uncertain, shadowy figure that stood outside the windowpane of the train, a few feet away from where I sat, I blinked again, praying that he would be a figment of my imagination. Promptly, turning at her side, I profoundly stared at the kind lady beside me who was shaking my shoulder slightly with a worried expression on her face at my dishevelled state that occurred all of sudden, but my implicated and perplexed mind was far away from her genuine concern. How could something like that even be possible? He did not know the location, even if we were here! My f
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) 12— Unbidden departure!
12— Unbidden departure! “It was darkness: blinding with absolute rage, ache and emptiness. Everything felt constricted, everything felt out of place, out of reach, nothing seemed right anymore, nothing seemed to matter anymore. The power once felt so potent, so strong— felt like a thin thread of broken trust, bond and loyalty. Everything felt like the gripping darkness of the night, nibbling on the outside to reach the insides to take control. To take control of the mind; the grasping silence that has billions of emotions overpowering each other felt— an immense amount of numbness, surrounding it: surrounding the psyche in a death grip.” — Saumya Tripathi ••• November 3 Location— Cantt station, Varanasi. Timing— 3:27 a.m “If you came here to take us back, then you are highly mistaken.” My voice came out stronger, contrary to what I felt inside. I was nothing but a trembling bundle of nerves inside. “We are waiting for my uncle to re
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Hindrance.
Hindrance. For a good couple of minutes, we just peered into each other's eyes. None of us were backing down. His intense, dark pools seemed to be gazing deep into my soul. I sat there with disbelief and seethed anger within my calmed countenance. I wanted nothing more than for him to leave. "It's not safe for two kids to roam outside at this hour of the night. But you do know that already. Don't you?" Without blinking, he uttered those words serenely, his voice sounding warm and soft at the same time. However, the severe underlying threat in the tone couldn't be ignored as he said, "Was it even worth the work when you knew it wouldn't be possible?” Ignoring his remark, I stayed calm and quiet, glaring at him nonetheless. “Have you lost all sense of understanding the situation?” “No, I haven't!” With anger and fear blinding me, I took a few moments to find my voice before answering him. "Hm... And, pray tell, who do you think you are to tell me that?" Eyes clashed with one ano
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Unpleasant.
Unpleasant. I started to open my mouth to ask further popping questions like: How did I know him, or why don't I remember him anymore? If I had known him as he said I had, then when? Why can't I remember any of them? Any memories of that part? But before I could speak my mind, those thoughts were disturbing me, and he beat me to it as he continued, "You have two options with you: either you come with me willingly or I have to force you to choose my way." His voice, so soft, so polite, so warm, made me stop for some time to discern the threat. “Regardless of what you choose, you're coming with me.” I sat frozen, considering his sentence. No! "So? Would you like to come, or would you like me to make you?" Mild silence hung in the air of the coach. The lady beside me regarded the both of us with her guarded eyes. I blinked at him, turning to his side, confounded. Anger, frustration, annoyance, and the feeling of being left out and lonely at this time returned with full forc
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) 13— Dazed.
13— Dazed. “The fact that people do not learn from the mistakes of History is the most important lesson of History.” — Aldous Huxley “Try to hurry up, little bird,” he said before leaving. “No!” I shook my head a little. Sometimes, when we think we have choices, we realise that we have none. Because what is lotted cannot be bloated. We have our ups and we have our downs, yet we stick together with the memories in the hope of coming out of such disquieting situations. Blinking several times, a soft gasp left the space between my lips. Although my mind bolted with questions and disbelief, there were certain parts where I already knew what had happened, yet I was too late to accept it. I was just in the phase of denial of what actually had happened. Because at the end of the day, I was nothing but a human with a tormented head. "Actually, we both will be waiting for you. Come soon.” His voice kept reverberating inside my head. What? What has happened just now? “
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Trepidation.
Trepidation. The pain was all too sudden and unexpected—I howled quietly in pain. Standing up, I tried to strode when I found myself unable to jog. The pain was extreme; however, it did not stop me from searching through my eyes—for my life— for my last hope of existence—for my brother. My widened, petrified eyes veered from side to side in search of the man—that took my Shaur with him! Where could he be? Where was he? Where? I murmured out loud, painfully, and repeatedly while still searching. My wide eyes searched through the verdant crowd of people for that one face, which I thought I would never have to see again. But on the contrary, I had to search for him only! I breathed hard and fast and searched and searched and searched till my eyes could let me catch the vision of the surroundings. How could he take Shaur with him? With him..? Like he owned him! I was seething from anger as well as from fear. Tottering from my injured legs with real difficulties, eyes still
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Nightmare.
Nightmare. My heart was on fire as I stood there, trembling and crying in the heavy rain. “There is just this one more condition I want you to agree to. Nothing more.” But it hurt too! Without Shaur in my arms! There were many questions in my mind that needed answers. Many of them. However, I was alone—alone in the pack of the awaited wolves. Impassive-faced wolves with their eyes under those black shades that hide the monsters they were. Which had hidden what kind of monstrous devils they were. I gaped.. Stared.. My eyes were glazed with tears. Albeit, my eyes were only on him from my peripheral vision; I could see his men there too, standing still like frozen iced statues, not very far away from where I was. It was so much like a dream for me, which I couldn't come to portray even in words! Everything was blurry in my line of vision. I was afraid, I was wet, and I was dreading the outcome of disobeying him. I wanted to hold my brother to feel the warmth of being clos
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) 14— Talks and beseeching!
14— Talks and beseeching! “Now, I totally don't believe in: the ‘eyes' are the souls of human beings because I have met a lot of people in life with warmth in their eyes and monsters residing inside them.” —Saumya Tripathi “Who are you?” I breathed, quivering in the cold. “What do you want from us?” Trying to force some air back into the lungs, I whisper-yelled. “So you think it is easy for me to just trust a complete stranger without any questions asked and be compliant with what has been asked of me?” “No,” he finally forced out the words. “But you should know I will never let any harm come to you or your brother if you listen to what I say.” “What if I say: You're the one who has been hurting us by forcing us to stay with you?” Even in the storm-crashing weather, there was an eerie silence at that moment. I waited for his reply. “It's the only way to protect you.” “Protect me from what exactly?” I burst into tears. “It is you who we want protection from!” He was silent—co
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DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Notice.
Hello! The second part of the book will be available on my GN profile. Don't forget to check it out! I cannot thank you enough for showing your love, support and your patience on this book. I've been broken down writing this so many times I lost count! But you were always there to push me up. I am grateful enough for that. Your reviews, likes and comments help me to drive myself to write. Moving forward I hope you liked this book! Your love for my book is truly inspiring. Once again thank you for reading my amazing readers, without you I would be nothing! I promise to be a better author or I will try to be. Also, I can't wait to hear from you on the second part of the book! Happy reading!
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Horrendous night.
Caution: Mature theme ahead. Horrendous night. “I am in no need of a blowjob right now. You can leave.” His tone sounded so cold. So unforgiving. “I-I am..” “You should better leave,” he was barely able to utter in a clear voice. “I don't need your assistance. Not today.” Her face turned red at his blurted reply. Feeling repulsed, she dismissed his words before moving forward to remove the empty alcohol bottle and almost-filled ashtray from beside him. “I- I am not here for that.” “I told you to leave.” A rough touch on her wrist bothered her. She tried looking into his eyes to grasp any gap to support her point. “I came here to check on you, Uzair.” “I am alive. Am I not?” His tone sounded heavy with all the emotional lumps he could feel in his throat, which, in turn, scared her. His behaviour with her. “So, leave.” He commanded. “Just let me check.” “Did I ask you to?” “No.” “Then stay the fuck away!” “You can hurt yourself or cause physical pai
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) 17— His Insight.
17— His Insight. “It is so simple to be happy yet so difficult to be simple.”Four hours later.There, he sat on the counter in the kitchen, barely sober. With an almost non-touched plate of noodles kept beside him, a plate full of ashes in the ashtray, and two empty bottles of three-year-old Irish whisky laid horizontally near his thigh, he continued to smoke and get intoxicated without pause. The emotional pain he felt was too much to endure in this state. Putting the lean stick inside his mouth, he inhaled, lying down on his back on the oak table along with his spare hand at the back of his head. “Fuck!” He roared angrily. “Damn it!”With a scathing look in his eyes at the burning cigarette that his fingers held, he muttered,“Why does she have to defy my way every damn time?” Gasping the smoke out through his nose, “Why not for once she could do as she is told without me having to force her into listening to me?” He spoke out loudly in frustration, rubbing his face with force.
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Prison.
Prison. Wiping my tears, I kept mum, listening to him, and my breathing came out warm and dense.Cuddling my baby to me, I sat there nonplussed with fear of losing the only family left: my little Shaurya. Wiping my tears repeatedly from my hands, I steadied my brother, making him sit on the opposite side of him. Away—as far as I could get from him in the provided space.Silence.For a long moment, there was nothing but silence as I sat stiff and horrified with Shaurya on my lap. My crying had diminished with time. Nevertheless, my eyes and throat felt sore. And I found myself feeling dizzy and weak.Later on, there was a moment of pregnant silence in the already heavy air within the car. He spoke softly. "Don't ever cry like that. Ever! Do you hear me?" His voice held emotions of pain and anguish, though.As if he were a human. But I could be wrong. Because, logically speaking, how could someone like him even feel after having done something so monstrous to us? His face went pale w
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Plead.
Plead. "Just—just don't hurt him, sir. Please!" I articulated to him while both hands folded with entwined fingers in front of him beseechingly. “Please… Not him..” "I won't have to, you see, little one.” I stared. “If you will listen to me, I won't have to do a thing," he alluded, gazing yet again. “It's simple; just do as you're told.” The silence was what he got as voices inside my head started to chant out: You have to go with him now. You don't have a choice anymore. Do you? No. You couldn't exactly leave your little brother alone with them. With him! Would you? Another certain voice at the back of my mind shuddered out. Within my own turmoils of my inner notions, I did not realise what happened next as it spurted like flopping birds in the mountains. "We have wasted more than enough time already. I cannot afford to waste more time; moreover, let's just get going." Bending a little more in my direction, he took my hand, which was prodding in the grime of the splotchy road
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) 16— Home but not ours!
16— Home but not ours! In the longest silence that followed, he wanted to tell her a thousand things. . . . Beginning with a plea that she could stay. The need to beg, pulsed in his veins. Yet, hoping against hope, he wished she stayed. — Saumya Tripathi “If it were on me, I would never come with you.” “That's a fortunate thing it isn't on you then,” he bent and whispered in my ear. "Otherwise, that would have turned out to be such a disappointment. Wouldn't you agree?” His words were like a dagger piercing through the heart. With a touch of poison rooted in the tone, I inched back. “Why?” There was a catch in my tone. I wanted him to know what he wanted from me. I would never give it to him willingly. Not until I knew I still had a fight left in me. “Why are you torturing me like this?” He clenched his jaws while levelling with me with an angry frown. Moving closer, he leaned towards me, his hand capturing almost the whole of my already wet face. “Because it's the only ch
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Monster.
Monster. “I like seeing your doe-like eyes have hope in them,” he whispered. “I sure did. Didn't I?” Am I deluding myself completely? No. How could I when he said it himself only a couple of moments ago? I heard him. And I know I heard him correctly. My eyes veered up at him as I gazed up, inching my head a little more. I looked at him without moving a muscle as he remained kneeling on one knee with a hand extended still towards me. For me to hold. For me to take. He blinked at me twice. His face was still impassive. Or was it I who didn't even know how to read people? Was I that bad at understanding people? Maybe I was naive, as his face stayed impassive all the time. “Will you take us home?” I finally broke the silence. "I will.” I was confused, but hopeful. “My home?” I tried to confirm. “I did say home. Our home. Not the one you used to stay in. But this is the one you will be staying in from now on. Now let's get going, shall we? If your inquiring session has ceased,"
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Reluctance.
Reluctance. My eyebrows arched at the man as he looked down straight at me boldly. Tearing my gaze from the road, I inched my head up, in his direction, slowly. My eyes held my afflictions and pains, along with my tears of suffering. I peered at him. Maybe pleadingly. Hoping against hope, I pleaded through my raw, croaked voice: "Please, sir, don't do this to me. It is only he who has been left behind by my parents; if anything happens to him, I can't afford it," I croaked up at him. "I just can't." "I don't desire that either. I don't want that to happen.” His eyes held nothing. “Don't force me to do something I don't intend to.” He's going to hurt Shur if I don't listen to him. “Just come with me, and you both will be safe and secure under my supervision, and your brother will be in your hands in no time. I can guarantee you that." He nodded at one of the men that was standing near him and very gently handed my baby brother to him, who took him in his awaiting bulky arms g
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) 15— Talks and beseeching! (Part-2)
15— Talks and beseeching! (Part-2) “We judge people as it is obvious psychology of humans to do so. But the question is: is it worth it? To judge everyone based on how they look? By how do they present themselves? By how do they choose to act? Because some people ought to be felt rather than observed. As you truly cannot judge people by their outer layers, that would be so unfair, some people should only be gazed upon by their hearts instead of eyes.” — Saumya Tripathi “However, if I have to, I will. But you already know that. Don't you?” I did. His deep, uncaring tone sent chills down my spine. “It totally depends on what you choose.” He waited. “Either it is your way or I will make you.” Anger spiked in my stomach as if molten lava had been kept in it. I needed to get over this. I needed to get away from him. I had to get over it as quickly as possible. I had to! I didn't have much of a choice. As if knowing my state, the breeze picked up. Darkness had finally caught up to
