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DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) 09— Disbelief.
09— Disbelief. “If I say peace— ultimately think, I am talking about Banaras.” —Saumya Tripathi The cold wave of air swept past me as I stepped forward, another step before me. The night was silent—too silent at that. It was so quiet, with only discreet voices of unknown organisms yelling now and then, along with the sound of heavily flowing air swivelling around us in the immensely silent vicinity. With the cold air skirting us in its confinements, I barely concentrated on the projected task before me, however. The silence felt soothing yet appalling. "You should probably get going," she accentuated, glancing back over her shoulder, breaking the captivating silence between us. “It's no good to waste time.” She seemed pensive as well as alarmed when motioning for me to proceed outside with a nod of her head over her shoulder. Showing me that I didn't have enough time to waste even a single second on flapping about the things that hadn't happened yet but probably could if I didn'
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) A Brief History of the city Varanasi.
A Brief History of the city Varanasi. "It is pronounced to be the city of 'Lord Shiva,' not only in India but in the entire world." The integrity of this city is that it is not only the oldest but also one of the holiest cities known in the cosmos. It is conceived that the path of land lying between the two tributes of the Ganges, Varuna and Asi, which flank its northern and southern borders, was named 'Varanasi', the holiest of all pilgrimages. In the sixth century B.C., Varanasi became the capital of the kingdom of Kashi. It is a city situated in the northern Indian state of U.P. Categorically, Varanasi is not merely a name that has been known in the entire world, but it has come to be known by different names: Kashi, Banaras, Benaras, and many more, apparently. Articulately, Varanasi is not only a city of eight letters; perhaps, because steeped in tradition and mythological legacy, Kashi is believed to be the 'Original Ground' created by 'Lord Shiva,' and 'Goddess Parvati.'
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) 10— The taste of freedom.
10— The taste of freedom. “Nowadays pain isn't present in tears. It is present in smiles.” —Saumya Tripathi "I will have to call my uncle first thing as soon as I can to let him know about my location. Immediately, but before that, I better get out of here first," I crammed, agreeing to myself. I better get going. Oh god! Let him be safe. Let him be safe. Closing my eyes, I prayed desperately for my old uncle's well-being. Perplexed as I was, I tried to avert my mind from my desperate turmoils that were actually clouding my sense of thinking rationally. Crying never helped anyone. Had it? No! It never had. Then, how come it will now? Why would it? It will not. Crying will never help me get away. Never had. Never will. Crying won't let me out of this place. And Papa also never would have allowed me to cry like this—like a vulnerable child in any situation. Such as this very perilous condition. I nodded staunchly. I repeatedly agreed on the same sentences while chanting in differe
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) The Phone call.
The Phone call. My heart pounded incredulously and restlessly. I had never felt this alone in my life. Never. And with this crowd, I was somewhat nervous and terrified. I breathed hard. Wandering around with panicked eyes for the electronic contraption that must be somewhere, I searched thoroughly through my eyes to be fixed on the telephone I was so frantically searching for. I was vaguely exhausted and somewhat relieved to find the phone sooner than I expected. I, without halting, approached the device across the enormous hall of a huge crowd, breathing somewhat hard with Shaurya tucked safely in my arms. By reaching, I stayed standing for some seconds for my erratic breaths to calm down. Although remaining firm in front of the phone booth, I searched for a few coins in my pouch, and to my luck, I got some—enough to talk to my uncle. How thoughtful of her! I thought. She must have known I'd need them. I thanked her inwardly. I smiled and wept at the same time. Going inside and dro
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Caged.
Caged. "Radhika..." "Radhika....." “Radhika….” She was running away. Racing as fast as her wobbling feet could let her into an unknown realm of darkness surrounding her vicinity without halting, even for a moment to take a shaky breath calmly, she ran. In consternation at being caught by what and who she did not know. Though her steps hadn't wavered yet, when she felt her lungs burning inside her upper abdomen, she stopped and breathed. "Radhika..." "Radhika....." “Radhika….” Somebody was calling her, and she was sure of that. "Radhika..." "Radhika....." “Radhika….” The voice called again. It was trying to reach her. "Radhika..." "Radhika....." “Radhika….” She was terrified out of her wits. “Where are you going, Radhika?” Her name was being addressed, and she heard it yet again, confirming her thoughts that she was indeed being called by someone. She could have sworn for that. Her skin tingled with an unknown terror and dread within herself about what she certain
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) 11— Oh! Shiv Ji, please no, how? why?
11— Oh! Shiv Ji, please no, how? why? “At some time, everyone wants to be understood by someone. But no one is trying to understand the other. Why? If you really want to be understood: try to understand first.” — Saumya Tripathi “No..no..no..No!” I woke up with a jolt, sweating. My heart felt as if it wanted to jump out of my chest. Awash with perplexity and dread, I tried to grasp the bits and pieces of the situation. Deflating through my mouth, I took deep and long breaths to calm the restlessness I felt taking place inside. Was that a dream? Still, somewhere between half awake and half asleep, I pondered over, slightly confused and bothersome about the whole ordeal. It had to be. The thought itself made me feel the need to get far away from anywhere near that shadow. However, the vividness of the scene from the dream made my body tingle with fear and anxiety. I was certainly uncertain about what I saw. It took me a while to confirm that it was, in fact, a dream. It was mor
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Heart-wrenching.
Heart-wrenching. Tilting my head in the woman's direction, I saw her looking at my baby brother on my lap with a trace of a smile playing on the corner of her lips, however. "Is the child yours?" Catching my gaze, she asked. Unnerved, upon hearing her, I was stuck for the first few seconds, but when the meaning struck me after a few movements, my breath hitched in my throat. "N-no! He is my baby brother." I faltered at her abstract question but answered politely nonetheless. She smiled abashedly at me. "Oh, sorry. I should have thought about it. You know, you both almost look alike, and that reason pretty much confused me," she said, catching me off guard. Knowing not how to reply, I nodded again meekly at her, smiling lightly. Showing it was all right. “You both have a great age difference.” I nodded at her with another one of my soft smiles. “We do.” When will the rain stop? It had been raining cats and dogs since I woke up. I mused, turning my head to stare out of the opened
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Appalled.
Appalled. "Child, if you're worried about the departure of this very train, then you must not worry as, due to the sudden and grave climate, the schedule of all trains has been delayed and they will not be rescheduled until the coming morning," she reminded me in haste. “You don't have to panic. I'll stay here with you if you want me to,” she offered. Hot tears of suffering and fear blurred my vision. Still spellbound by the uncertain, shadowy figure that stood outside the windowpane of the train, a few feet away from where I sat, I blinked again, praying that he would be a figment of my imagination. Promptly, turning at her side, I profoundly stared at the kind lady beside me who was shaking my shoulder slightly with a worried expression on her face at my dishevelled state that occurred all of sudden, but my implicated and perplexed mind was far away from her genuine concern. How could something like that even be possible? He did not know the location, even if we were here! My f
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DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Notice.
Hello! The second part of the book will be available on my GN profile. Don't forget to check it out! I cannot thank you enough for showing your love, support and your patience on this book. I've been broken down writing this so many times I lost count! But you were always there to push me up. I am grateful enough for that. Your reviews, likes and comments help me to drive myself to write. Moving forward I hope you liked this book! Your love for my book is truly inspiring. Once again thank you for reading my amazing readers, without you I would be nothing! I promise to be a better author or I will try to be. Also, I can't wait to hear from you on the second part of the book! Happy reading!
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Horrendous night.
Caution: Mature theme ahead. Horrendous night. “I am in no need of a blowjob right now. You can leave.” His tone sounded so cold. So unforgiving. “I-I am..” “You should better leave,” he was barely able to utter in a clear voice. “I don't need your assistance. Not today.” Her face turned red at his blurted reply. Feeling repulsed, she dismissed his words before moving forward to remove the empty alcohol bottle and almost-filled ashtray from beside him. “I- I am not here for that.” “I told you to leave.” A rough touch on her wrist bothered her. She tried looking into his eyes to grasp any gap to support her point. “I came here to check on you, Uzair.” “I am alive. Am I not?” His tone sounded heavy with all the emotional lumps he could feel in his throat, which, in turn, scared her. His behaviour with her. “So, leave.” He commanded. “Just let me check.” “Did I ask you to?” “No.” “Then stay the fuck away!” “You can hurt yourself or cause physical pai
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) 17— His Insight.
17— His Insight. “It is so simple to be happy yet so difficult to be simple.”Four hours later.There, he sat on the counter in the kitchen, barely sober. With an almost non-touched plate of noodles kept beside him, a plate full of ashes in the ashtray, and two empty bottles of three-year-old Irish whisky laid horizontally near his thigh, he continued to smoke and get intoxicated without pause. The emotional pain he felt was too much to endure in this state. Putting the lean stick inside his mouth, he inhaled, lying down on his back on the oak table along with his spare hand at the back of his head. “Fuck!” He roared angrily. “Damn it!”With a scathing look in his eyes at the burning cigarette that his fingers held, he muttered,“Why does she have to defy my way every damn time?” Gasping the smoke out through his nose, “Why not for once she could do as she is told without me having to force her into listening to me?” He spoke out loudly in frustration, rubbing his face with force.
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Prison.
Prison. Wiping my tears, I kept mum, listening to him, and my breathing came out warm and dense.Cuddling my baby to me, I sat there nonplussed with fear of losing the only family left: my little Shaurya. Wiping my tears repeatedly from my hands, I steadied my brother, making him sit on the opposite side of him. Away—as far as I could get from him in the provided space.Silence.For a long moment, there was nothing but silence as I sat stiff and horrified with Shaurya on my lap. My crying had diminished with time. Nevertheless, my eyes and throat felt sore. And I found myself feeling dizzy and weak.Later on, there was a moment of pregnant silence in the already heavy air within the car. He spoke softly. "Don't ever cry like that. Ever! Do you hear me?" His voice held emotions of pain and anguish, though.As if he were a human. But I could be wrong. Because, logically speaking, how could someone like him even feel after having done something so monstrous to us? His face went pale w
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Plead.
Plead. "Just—just don't hurt him, sir. Please!" I articulated to him while both hands folded with entwined fingers in front of him beseechingly. “Please… Not him..” "I won't have to, you see, little one.” I stared. “If you will listen to me, I won't have to do a thing," he alluded, gazing yet again. “It's simple; just do as you're told.” The silence was what he got as voices inside my head started to chant out: You have to go with him now. You don't have a choice anymore. Do you? No. You couldn't exactly leave your little brother alone with them. With him! Would you? Another certain voice at the back of my mind shuddered out. Within my own turmoils of my inner notions, I did not realise what happened next as it spurted like flopping birds in the mountains. "We have wasted more than enough time already. I cannot afford to waste more time; moreover, let's just get going." Bending a little more in my direction, he took my hand, which was prodding in the grime of the splotchy road
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) 16— Home but not ours!
16— Home but not ours! In the longest silence that followed, he wanted to tell her a thousand things. . . . Beginning with a plea that she could stay. The need to beg, pulsed in his veins. Yet, hoping against hope, he wished she stayed. — Saumya Tripathi “If it were on me, I would never come with you.” “That's a fortunate thing it isn't on you then,” he bent and whispered in my ear. "Otherwise, that would have turned out to be such a disappointment. Wouldn't you agree?” His words were like a dagger piercing through the heart. With a touch of poison rooted in the tone, I inched back. “Why?” There was a catch in my tone. I wanted him to know what he wanted from me. I would never give it to him willingly. Not until I knew I still had a fight left in me. “Why are you torturing me like this?” He clenched his jaws while levelling with me with an angry frown. Moving closer, he leaned towards me, his hand capturing almost the whole of my already wet face. “Because it's the only ch
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Monster.
Monster. “I like seeing your doe-like eyes have hope in them,” he whispered. “I sure did. Didn't I?” Am I deluding myself completely? No. How could I when he said it himself only a couple of moments ago? I heard him. And I know I heard him correctly. My eyes veered up at him as I gazed up, inching my head a little more. I looked at him without moving a muscle as he remained kneeling on one knee with a hand extended still towards me. For me to hold. For me to take. He blinked at me twice. His face was still impassive. Or was it I who didn't even know how to read people? Was I that bad at understanding people? Maybe I was naive, as his face stayed impassive all the time. “Will you take us home?” I finally broke the silence. "I will.” I was confused, but hopeful. “My home?” I tried to confirm. “I did say home. Our home. Not the one you used to stay in. But this is the one you will be staying in from now on. Now let's get going, shall we? If your inquiring session has ceased,"
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) Reluctance.
Reluctance. My eyebrows arched at the man as he looked down straight at me boldly. Tearing my gaze from the road, I inched my head up, in his direction, slowly. My eyes held my afflictions and pains, along with my tears of suffering. I peered at him. Maybe pleadingly. Hoping against hope, I pleaded through my raw, croaked voice: "Please, sir, don't do this to me. It is only he who has been left behind by my parents; if anything happens to him, I can't afford it," I croaked up at him. "I just can't." "I don't desire that either. I don't want that to happen.” His eyes held nothing. “Don't force me to do something I don't intend to.” He's going to hurt Shur if I don't listen to him. “Just come with me, and you both will be safe and secure under my supervision, and your brother will be in your hands in no time. I can guarantee you that." He nodded at one of the men that was standing near him and very gently handed my baby brother to him, who took him in his awaiting bulky arms g
DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE) 15— Talks and beseeching! (Part-2)
15— Talks and beseeching! (Part-2) “We judge people as it is obvious psychology of humans to do so. But the question is: is it worth it? To judge everyone based on how they look? By how do they present themselves? By how do they choose to act? Because some people ought to be felt rather than observed. As you truly cannot judge people by their outer layers, that would be so unfair, some people should only be gazed upon by their hearts instead of eyes.” — Saumya Tripathi “However, if I have to, I will. But you already know that. Don't you?” I did. His deep, uncaring tone sent chills down my spine. “It totally depends on what you choose.” He waited. “Either it is your way or I will make you.” Anger spiked in my stomach as if molten lava had been kept in it. I needed to get over this. I needed to get away from him. I had to get over it as quickly as possible. I had to! I didn't have much of a choice. As if knowing my state, the breeze picked up. Darkness had finally caught up to
