CHAPTER 1

Rainbow represents all the colors. Minsan, ang kulay ay isang malaking kasinungalingan, dahil kung nanatili ka sa isang kulay, maaaring niloloko mo rin lang ang sarili mo. Mali, hindi iyon panloloko, you can use the white color to suppress the rainbow. Just like the clouds that covers the rainbow when it tries to shine on the blue skies.

But can you imagine the life without color? Nor, insisting yourself to stay in the color you want in order to conceal the real you.

Bahaghari. Maaaring sumisikat tuwing natatapos ang ulan. Bahaghari. Maaaring ito ay sumisimbolo rin ng totoong ako.

Pabaliktad kong sinuot ang sumbrero at inayos ang puting damit pati na rin ang suot ko jearsy short at puting sapatos. Tinahak ko ang pasilyo ng mansyon at natatanaw ang round staircase.

My father is the Philippine President, the most respected man in the world. He is the heir of the leading real estate and Kuya Achilles is one of the manager with his own holdings, MZ Advocates and Developers. Since my elder brother took another path, I was studying the family's legacy.

I was kept for almost thirteen years by my grandfather, Alberto Manansala. I could also remember how they treated me like a dog in the underground of their mansion.

"Saan ang lakad?" tanong ni Mommy sa akin, matamis na nakangiti.

She's a doctor, still beautiful at fifties.

"Sa labas, Ma, magpapahangin lang," sabi ko at ngumiti.

She nodded as she wandered me. Even Ate Lava and Ate Elijah gave a look for me. I've been concealing my real personality. I don't want to give such an embarrassment to the whole Zallega clan.

"May problema ba?" marahan niyang tanong.

Kinabahan ako roon, my heart is rapidly beating against my chest that the anxiousness added when I saw Dad leaning on the door of his office, his arms crossed on his chest with eyes were menacing at me. Then my brothers came in with their sons. Nag-iwas ako ng tingin at humagikgik silang naghubad ng damit sa harap ko.

I gulped when Dad chuckled mockingly.

"Ephraim!" Mom said and sighed.

"Hindi pa kami nagsasalita, Veronica, bakit? Ano bang problema ng anak mong tinutukoy mo?" tanong niya, he even smirked.

"Wala! Baka nga may problema nga talaga... I mean, wala talaga, I was just over thinking," kinakabahan siya.

I have been avoiding this kinds of topics, alam kong alam nila, ilang taon na nilang napapansin.

"Baka naman may problema talaga, Ma?" Kuya Achilles said bluntly and turned to me with a smirk.

Uminit ang sulok ng mata ko dahil hindi ko mapigilan ang emosyon.

"Wala. Hindi ako nakabuntis," sabi ko at uminom para anurin ang kung ano sa lalamunan ko.

Tumawa si Daddy nang malakas na kinagulat ko. He's not that too strict, sa pag-aaral ko, hands on siya roon at laging siya iyong nagtuturo sa akin. But when it comes to this topic, he turns grim.

"Hindi nakabuntis? What a surprise alibi, Ivo," he clapped. 

"Kuya..." I almost pleaded to my brothers. 

Kuya Achilles laughed. "Dad's still talking to you, though," aniya. 

Nahirapan akong bumaling kay Daddy, "H-Hindi ako nakabuntis, Daddy," sabi ko. 

Halos atakihin siya sa kakahalakhak. I feel like he is disappointed with me. 

I went out when Mom gave me the permission. It was a modern mansion. Malaki at magara. It's Sunday, umuwi ako galing sa Maynila noong Biyernes para sa klase ko rito tuwing Sabado sa Marketing dito sa Batangas, I am studying at La Salle, Engineering, minsan nga, sumasabay na lang ako araw-araw na umuwi sa mga asawa ng Kuya ko dahil dito sila umuuwi sa kani-kanilang bahay. 

It's our brunch, sa mansyon ni Lolo, we will be reunited again every week. The persons I have been hating the most are still there. 

"Kaunti lang yata nakain mo?" tanong ni Lolo sa akin.

"May lakad po ako mamaya sa Calatagan at doon na po ako sa DFC Hotel kakain ulit, Lo."

Tumango siya at pinagmasdan ako. "Sa mga kaibigan mo? Sila Shane at Devyn?"

Tumango ako, "Outing po namin ng mga kaklase ko rito at sinabi ni Shane na sa dalampasigan na raw nila."

He nodded again, "Anong problema mo?"

Nabitin ang pagsubo ni Kuya Rad sa kanin, humahagikgik si Daddy at sinapak ni Mommy ang hita niya.

"Wala."

"Amber Rosales, hindi mo pa ba binibigyan ng label ang pagitan niyo? Maganda iyon."

We both like each other but I am treating her as my sister. Nothing more than that. Ang dami na ring nireto sa akin pero ni isa, walang nagtagumpa.

Umiling ako, "Bata pa naman po ako." 

"Ang mga Vargas, kailan mapagbibigyan? Si Fleur? " tanong ni Tito Alejandro na ngayon ay natatawa sa binulong ni Daddy. 

"Si Elliott, Ian, Herbert, Jery," sabi ni Tita Samaria. "'Wag niyo nang ipagpilitan sa bata kung ayaw." 

"Hindi pa umo-oo si Ivo," sabi ni Tito Rogelio. 

They turned to me. Uminit ang buong mukha ko at nag-iwas ng tingin. 

"Pero ayos lang din, but it's too heartbreaking that we successfully made the fix marriage, from my generation and my son's generation. Lava and Achilles made it." 

"Hindi lang natin alam, " si Kuya Rad at tumawa kaming dalawa. 

"Rad and Elijah made it through ups and downs..." Lolo continued. "Have you seen the youngest son of Eugene Altavas, Ephraim?" 

Dad paused, he shook his head, I became attentive because of it, napansin nilang lahat iyon dahil napaahon ako sa lounger.

"Yes, Papa, I've already talked to Eugene about the idea of merging the Altavas Corporation and MZ Estates, Elliott, Ian, pwede," he said while looking at me as he smirked.

"Lino won't allow his sons, Ephraim," sabi ni Mommy, "I'm sure of that," Mom smirked at me.

"Kanino ang dapat?" tanong ni Tita Delaiah at ngumisi.

Nagkibit balikat si Daddy, "Ewan, mayroon namang hindi sigurado riyan sa tabi-tabi."

Sumimangot ako at bumaling sa pool, I joined my brothers and they went to me.

"Gusto mo, 'no?" pang-iinis ni Kuya Achilles sa akin.

Sumulyap ako at umiling.

"Bakit, kung gano'n?" Kuya Rad said and went up.

Umiling ako at tumawa.

"Marami naman akong babae."

Kuya Achilles laughed evilly. Umahon ako sa tubig at kinuha ang tuwalya, I saw Vienna gulping while wandering at me shamelessly. Nakita ko kung saan niya ako tinitigan, she was damn looking at the bulky part of me in my torso.

Umupo ako at may mga tikhimang naganap. My jaw clenched and saw her secretly smiling. Nagtaas ako ng kilay at naglakad, sa paghakbang ko, may pumatid sa akin dahilan ng pagkadulas ko.

Mom shouted as I got my balance, si Aljun iyon at natatawa pa.

"Dad, I'm okay," I assured him when he went to me with his grim eyes bearing around.

I looks like him with his narrow nose, thin lips and handsome face, and people kept on saying that we looks like Persues.

"Masakit lang ang paa ko," sabay upo at tinignan ang ankle.

Ang lakad ko sa Calatagan ay ang bisitahin ang partnership na rin ng MZ Estates sa DFC Metals, nasabay na rin ang outing namin. 

Driving my old Volkswagen, and I arrived at the barangay of Calatagan. Malawak ang lupain at nakita ko na ang isang planta sa kalayuan. 

"Ivo," tawag ni Shane. 

Bumaba ako at nagpunta sa bahay nila, bumati ako kay Mayor Felipe at kay Tito Damian. 

"Hindi raw matutuloy ang outing, Ivo," Shane said as I went to the wooden chair. 

"Bakit daw? Sayang naman kung hindi, nagdala pa naman ako ng pizza," sabi ko at nilapag ang box. 

Nilantakan namin ang pizza at dumalo rin ang mga kaibigan ng Kuya niya. 

"Devyn, ano ang brands ng machine niyo for creating the steels?" tanong ko at nakatingin sa planta nila, sa dulo pa iyon.

Nang sinabi ni Vince, agad akong tumango. We also have a plant and it's the leading supplier around the world, even the DFC Metals.

Zallega Hardware has a lot of factory around the country, there was the main point in Nasugbu and I was also trying to learn the basic principles on how to maneuver the company. I learned it while I was growing up and now, I am the CEO of the MZ Estates. 

Sa ngayon, tinatayo ang isa pa ang bagong gusali tabi ng luma, I was working there every day dahil kung minsan, alas tres ako ng hapon nakakarating galing ng Maynila, I was trying the construction, from 3:30pm until seven to eight in the evening. Kaunti lang ang subjects ko para maagang matuto sa mas mababa. 

Umuwi na ako natapos ang ilang minuto na paglilibot sa planta nila. 

I played with my brothers' sons in the living room while I was reviewing. They are now in grade school.

Parang kailan lang din nang ibalik ako sa buong pamilya ko. It's almost fresh and made me thinked about when I was thirteen years old. 

My Grandmother got me out of the car and landed in the mansion. As we entered the mansion, it allured me the way I was living in an underground. I don’t know what was the reason why I hid there for almost a few years.

"Ivo, this is your parents," sabi ni Lolo Alberto at tinuro ang disenteng lalaki na nagulat din sa sinabi. 

I stared at the handsome man like me, with his strength, he knelt down in front of me and embraced me, my real mother went to me as she was already lamenting. 

I remained brave that moment in front of my Dad, pinipilit na maging malakas kahit gusto ko siyang tanungin. 

"I'm sorry, anak," he whispered like I felt his pain through all these years. 

He sagged me in his shoulders for a tight embrace, sa halos ilang taon kong pananatili sa ilalim ng mansyon, sa pang-aalipusta ni Amiel, I feel so home, and the horrifying nights won't come again. 

They gave me a better life than what I deserve, I have already reached the point where I don't have to suffer anymore. Every night, in the dark place where I dwelled, I was praying for something who would rescue me. May mga pagkakataong binibigyan ako ng bulok na pagkain at maruming inumin.

"Nag-iisip ka na naman nang malalim..."

Lumingon ako sa mga Kuya ko at suminghap ako habang pinalis ang luha.

"Hindi..." napapaos kong sabi kay Kuya Achilles.

Umiwas ako ng tingin kay Daddy na umaaligid at naghahagikgikan sila ni Kuya Rad.

"He was thinking about how his imaginary girlfriend who got pregnant, Achilles," sabi niya at tumawa.

I closed my gray laptop and fixed the book. Ngumiti ako kay Ares na binigay ang hiniram na ballpen.

"Tulog na po ako, " sabi ko.

"Nine ang klase mo bukas, 'di ba? Usap muna tayo, why are you so intimidated by me, Ivo?" malamig na sabi ni Daddy na ngayon ay tumabi.

I looked at Mom in the dining area, tinutunghayan kaming apat and she was warning Dad using her eyes. 

"I can handle our sons, Veronica, mas ako nga ang pinakikinggan kaysa sa 'yo..."

Natawa kaming magkakapatid at umirap si Mommy sa kanya. Kahit na tumawa ako, hindi ko pa rin naman maitago ang kaba sa akin.

Daddy stood up and drank the liqour he was drinking and splashed down the glass in front of me. I was surprised because I only now see him like that, I wanted to escape but I was already cornered by these men.

"Hindi ko kailangan ng pagpapanggap mo, Ivo," Dad said furiously.

"Hindi naman po ako nagpapanggap-"

The back of his hand hit my face too hard. Nanatili ang mukha ko sa direksyon kung saan ako napalingon. I remained strong even if my cheek went numb.

"You're acting fakely to just be a man... God damn it, Ivo," he held me up as I almost strangled and I realized that we're already alone.

"Daddy, n-nasasaktan a-ako."

This is not him. He was drunk and his face was reddened. He's barely drunk that I could smell his breath.

"Gago ka!" he punched my face that beat up my strength, nabasag ang center table kung saan niya ako tinulak.

"Walang bakla na Zallega! Magpakalalaki ka! 'Wag na 'wag mo akong ipahihiya gago ka! Pinahiya na ako noon ng isa mong Kuya, 'wag ka nang dumagdag, gago ka!" he solded.

"M-Ma!" I shouted when I felt my blood from my stomach running through my stomach caused by the mirror of the center table dugged in me. "Mommy!" I shouted again but I fainted immediately.

In an unfamiliar room, I woke up, I got up immediately and pulled out the needle that was stuck in my hand. I was alone inside the hospital room, masakit ang pagkakatusok sa tiyan ko ng salamin na nabasag.

Pagkabukas ko ng pintuan ng kwarto, lumabas ako at nagkagulo ang mga nurse at doktor, parang baliw na tumakas sa kulungan.

"Ivo!" Kuya Achilles said 

"Saan ka pupunta, Ivo?" giit ni Kuya Rad.

"Malalim ang sugat mo, magpahinga ka, saan ka pupunta? " it was Dad's soft voice.

Hindi ako sumagot at handa nang umalis nang makita ko si Mommy na nagmamadali. "Ivo, just go inside, magpahinga ka, saan ka pupunta? Sasamahan kita," aniya.

Tumawa ako, "Do you want to know where I want to go, Mom?"

"Yes, saan?" nakitaan ko siya ng kaba.

"Hanapan mo 'ko ng escort."

My brothers laughed too hard, Mom was looking at Dad like she can't handle me when it comes to this topic.

"Ephraim!" she exclaimed.

Sinapo ko ang tiyan ko at humilig sa pader. "Ano, Mommy? Hahanapan mo ba 'ko ng escort? O hayaan mong mamatay ako sa libog?"

Umiyak siya at tumingin kay Daddy na nakatingin sa akin, I can see the regrets in his eyes. I smirked and stared at Mom.

"Mommy, hindi mo ako hahanapan?" I chuckled mockingly, "Paano kung sex pala ang magpapatino sa akin? 'Di ba? Let me try it, baka sa susunod na siyam na buwan, may pangatlo na kayong apo."

Niyabangan ni Kuya Rad si Daddy at sinundan ako sa kwarto, masakit pa rin ang tiyan ko at gusto ko lang sana ang matulog pero ang ginawa niya ang lalo pang dumagdag sa sakit ng ulo ko.

"Ipapabalik natin 'to, maraming dugo ang nawala sa 'yo," Kuya said.

Tumango ako at nakatulog sa sofa ng kwarto. I was in someone's lap when I was awakened by something familiar, a familiar touched on my nose made me feel like something. It's Dad. 

"At kahit pa, Ephraim!" narinig ko ang halos sigaw ni Lolo.

"Lo, he's a light sleeper, he might be awakened," Kuya Rad's voice went on the conversation.

Nanatili akong nakapikit at mabigat din ang kamay ko, it is my first time to be in IV and it was painful.

"You're such a pathetic father that you could put him him in death."

"Lasing ako, Papa."

"Naglasing ka, dahil hindi matanggap ng pride mong tinawag siyang lampa, bakla, at nanlalalake."

Slowly, I caressed Dad's hand on my stomach. Nagulat siya at natahimik ang kwarto.

"Lalaki na 'ko, Daddy," I chuckled, "Inom tayo?"

Humalakhak si Ate Lava kaya binuksan ko ang mga mata ko at tumingin sa kanya.

"May sinasabi Kuya mo..." her laughters muffled at Kuya Achilles' hand.

Naging isa akong regular costumer ng mga club sa buong kamaynilaan. Every night and day like it also became a hobby to have girls all night, at ang matindi pa, nasuntok ako ng isang celebrity dahil pinagkamalan akong inaagaw ang girlfriend niyang celebrity rin.

Gumanti ako ng suntok at mas malakas pa roon, "Gago, siya ang naghahabol sa akin, hindi ako..."

And because of the scene, it was the talk of the town about the cheating issues of me.

Sa isang bar ang deretso ko matapos ang pagrereview, my condo is the old condo of Dad here at BGC, isang tower kung saan ang mga Zallega, wearing my jeans and gray t-shirt.

That night, I dated Creswell Alonzo, she's nice and a good girl to talk with. She's a bit naughty. Dahil sinayawan ako sa dance floor ng pinakanakakaeskandalong sayaw. She was drunk as I heard shouts from my brothers and cousins on their table. Ayoko sa issues kaya iniwan ko siya sa dance floor. Pero hinigit niya ako sa sinayawang muli. She twerked and bumped her butt in me like I even gasped.

The next morning, a news greeted me, about the other involvement with another girl.

Sabado nang umuwi ako ng Nasugbu para sa klase ko sa university, sa eskwelahan, iyon ang usapan sa mga estudyante, kung paano sila magpapansin noon sa akin, treple na ngayon.

I don't know but when I experienced it, I'm now finding constantly. A teacher caught me doing lewd things with the senior. Hinahalikan ko siya leeg at ang kamay ay nakapasok na sa palda nang dumaan ang isang teacher.

Dad's out of the country with Mom so Kuya Achilles was called for a disciplinary action. He's in his tux, and probably mad at me, nakapamaywang siya at nakikinig sa paliwanag ng guro.

"I think, he's rebelling, Engineer, his tumbler has also a liqour at iyon ang iniinom niya."

"I am not rebelling," giit ko.

With dismayed eyes, Kuya looked at me. Umiling siya at bumaling sa teacher. "He'll take the punishment po, Ma'am, we can also pay for the girl he did lewd things, makikiareglo po kami."

He payed for a hundred fifty thousand bilang areglo sa estudyanteng ginawan ko ng malaswa. I was also scolded by him at home. I was lying on the bed without clothes and only wearing shorts because I had just come out of the bathroom after doing something inside again at nanood pa ng videos na puno rin ng kabastusan, dumagdag pa iyon dahil narinig niya ako sa banyo.