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Tables Turning
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2021-03-05 21:38:12I don't know how long my brother drove that car with red eyes,I don't know how much time we travelled,me completely numb.All memories,All her words were playing like photographic slideshow in my brain.I don't even remember when we got down.
But the cold wind chilling my warm body made me realized that we are in Murree indeed.Those mountains were eating me up.Our home could be seen from distance.
When we entered ,my third chachu family was there.My chachi came early to prepare.Because the world doesn't fall down when you're falling.They don't think what you're bearing, they talk about people clothes.
Were their home clean? Did they gave good food on funeral? Did they meet every lady? Why was her daughter not crying? I think she doesn't care enough? Her granddaugter was crying too much,very unsophisticated.These are the stigmas of our society.They know how to raise question on those who are mourning and If their way of mourning is not appealing to them.
So
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It was the day of my Nikkah(Marriage ceremony).I still can't grasp this fact.Everything was happening so fast that I just surrendered myself to the flow.I have to leave with him after Nikkah.We were having reception later.I was still too shocked by these huge changes in my life.My father might not give me enough love and care but he had shown his love through giving me luxurious and peaceful lifestyle.I was like a princess in his home.I never ever have to beg to anyone for anything.He provided us with everything he can give.I don't know what lies ahead.Whether my in laws would be good to me.Will they treat me well.I'm not used to do heavy hardwork.There were always servant for them.Ya Allah..let me be good wife.Give me enough strength to fulfill all my duties well.I don't wan't to disappoint anyone.They don't want to leave me like that. They want to take me with them. My Chachu didn't want to delay anymore.I still hadn't seen him.I don't care a
Last Updated : 2021-03-05Cries Behind Smiles Departure
My face was veiled afterwards.A women came to me and held my hands"Slam bhabhi...I'm Zehra.I'm your husband's sister.I'm daughter of your deceased step mother's sister".She was so beautiful with brown locks and light brown eyes.She was Sabheen Khala daughter.Sabheen khala was married to Pushtoon family.I recalled that much.She died at young age due to car accident alongwith her husband.I heard they have two children.I never caught more because they move outside Pakistan afterwards.Mom sometimes visited them but I never bother to go to their house.I was not close to my step mother's relatives.We barely met at weddings and some gatherings.I never ever imagined in my whole life.I would get married in that family.Now I was literally freaking out.Oh Allah let everything be Ok.Let them be good people.What If they were like tough pushtoons who have gun attached to them.Who never mind to hit their women.No hayaat stop it.They a
Last Updated : 2021-03-05Cries Behind Smiles Normal Yet Abnormal
I don't know for how long I kept sitting on floor carpet.After I gained my senses back I move towards bathroom.It was huge with black tiles, huge tub at corner parted by glass sliding.There was also walk in closet besides bathroom.Atleast the dragon has nice home.I smiled at the little nickname I have given him.I took clothes from my bag and undress myself,clothing myself in white maxy frock and white dupatta.I wash my face off and performed wudhu.I offered my esha prayers and move my hand upwards for dua.When I said Ameen and put my hands on my face in "Ameen form"I felt someone stare.Then, I removed my hands I saw him staring hard at me with amusement and intrigue.When he saw I noticed him,I questioned through my eyesWhat??He shifted his gaze and moved towards closet.Omg!!! I hate it when people don't talk what they're thinkingAhh!! Stupid psycho handsome man.I just wrapped the prayer mat and moved towards bed.I was
Last Updated : 2021-03-05Cries Behind Smiles Guilty
After few seconds,I composed myself.I was so damn worried about him that I even forget to offer my Isha prayers.I'm not punctual in Namaz.I don't know I've tried so much but still I forget but since Dado's death a switch is turned on and I haven't skip a single prayer.It may be due to the irritation caused by my jerk of a husband that I need something to calm downWe humans are such mean creatures.In pain,we remember Allah like we should do anytime.Why broken hearts feel Allah so close to them.Why not in happiness.Such selfish we are.So I offered Isha prayers and slept in room besides our bedroom.It has single bed.It is kind of guestroom.I woke up early in morning.My sleep cycle is so unstable,sometimes I sleep too much and sometimes too little.Your brain is also unstable,my subconsious taunted.Oh thank you,for reminding me more of my problems.I make breakfast as usual.I was pouring the tea in cup when I feel someone settled down beside on chair
Last Updated : 2021-03-05Cries Behind Smiles Jealousy Incarnated
I just took my red long maxy from cupboard.It was beautiful yet modest.I was gonna paired up with my long black heels and red dupatta.I was letting my hijab loose today so a few strands of hair were falling on both sides.My maxy was long with black stones on chest.It was little fitting on waist.I put my eyeliner on and put dark red lipstick on my lips.I hardly put lipstick on but today I wanted to look beautiful.After parting my hair from middle I put them on bun with few strands on both sides.I put the necklace Azaan gave me.It was perfect.I heard Azaan calling me impatient so I took my black clutch and move outwards I was moving down from stairs when his eyes caught me.He was looking ravishing in black suit with white shirt underneath.His hair were tamed back but his jaw almost dropped when he saw me.He was looking at me with such intensity that my breath hitched.Those fiery golds were burning me with that look.When I move towards him ,he was still look
Last Updated : 2021-03-05Cries Behind Smiles Nightmares
Next morning I woke up late.I tossed all night on my bed thinking.I touched my lips still shivering from the memory.Why would he do that? He don't even like me.I danced with a non-Mehram.Allah g what have I done.Last night I prayed Nawafil Toba along with Namaz Isha and kept begging Allah to forgive my sins.I'm still too weak and my Imaan still quivers like a fragile feather moved by wind.But Allah says he forgives who repents and beg mercy for his sins as He isAr-Rahman (All Merciful)Today is sunday so I can lay down more.After mustering up courage,I try to act normally like nothing had happened I move towards kitchen and started making breakfast.I was beating the eggs for omelette when I heard footsteps nearing myself,I turn around and was approaching the spices when felt the presence,seizing my all movement.I gazed upwards and tried to give a smile.Good MorningI tried to act normal.He just smiled at me.His eyes
Last Updated : 2021-03-05Cries Behind Smiles Closer And Closer But Faraway
Oh my God why he is making it difficult invading my personal space like that.My heart was again dancing in my chest ready to explode.I looked down and try to move out of his hold."What was that Haya"I was really aware of what he was asking.I blushed more at him." I don't know what you are talking about?" I try to play dumb."Look at me Haya while I'm talking to you"He put a hand under my chin closing the gap between us.His usual smell of sandalwood and citrous immediately filled my senses and when I met his gold eyes they were burning a hole through me.His gaze always burn a fire in my heart.Oh Allah I will surely die with this close proximityYou didn't die earlier.My subconsious retorted referring to my earlier bravery."Tell me or I can remind you what I'm talking about." He said smugly and I looked at him alarmingly.Don't do that.Oh Allah ."Not so brave are we now.Where is your confidence princess that was earlier the
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Last Updated : 2021-03-05
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Oh my God why he is making it difficult invading my personal space like that.My heart was again dancing in my chest ready to explode.I looked down and try to move out of his hold."What was that Haya"I was really aware of what he was asking.I blushed more at him." I don't know what you are talking about?" I try to play dumb."Look at me Haya while I'm talking to you"He put a hand under my chin closing the gap between us.His usual smell of sandalwood and citrous immediately filled my senses and when I met his gold eyes they were burning a hole through me.His gaze always burn a fire in my heart.Oh Allah I will surely die with this close proximityYou didn't die earlier.My subconsious retorted referring to my earlier bravery."Tell me or I can remind you what I'm talking about." He said smugly and I looked at him alarmingly.Don't do that.Oh Allah ."Not so brave are we now.Where is your confidence princess that was earlier the
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Next morning I woke up late.I tossed all night on my bed thinking.I touched my lips still shivering from the memory.Why would he do that? He don't even like me.I danced with a non-Mehram.Allah g what have I done.Last night I prayed Nawafil Toba along with Namaz Isha and kept begging Allah to forgive my sins.I'm still too weak and my Imaan still quivers like a fragile feather moved by wind.But Allah says he forgives who repents and beg mercy for his sins as He isAr-Rahman (All Merciful)Today is sunday so I can lay down more.After mustering up courage,I try to act normally like nothing had happened I move towards kitchen and started making breakfast.I was beating the eggs for omelette when I heard footsteps nearing myself,I turn around and was approaching the spices when felt the presence,seizing my all movement.I gazed upwards and tried to give a smile.Good MorningI tried to act normal.He just smiled at me.His eyes
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I just took my red long maxy from cupboard.It was beautiful yet modest.I was gonna paired up with my long black heels and red dupatta.I was letting my hijab loose today so a few strands of hair were falling on both sides.My maxy was long with black stones on chest.It was little fitting on waist.I put my eyeliner on and put dark red lipstick on my lips.I hardly put lipstick on but today I wanted to look beautiful.After parting my hair from middle I put them on bun with few strands on both sides.I put the necklace Azaan gave me.It was perfect.I heard Azaan calling me impatient so I took my black clutch and move outwards I was moving down from stairs when his eyes caught me.He was looking ravishing in black suit with white shirt underneath.His hair were tamed back but his jaw almost dropped when he saw me.He was looking at me with such intensity that my breath hitched.Those fiery golds were burning me with that look.When I move towards him ,he was still look
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