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Cravings 97
~SCARLETT POV~I dreaded each day that passed, wanted to kill myself at each month I got passed, and now it has been a year and I haven’t set my eyes on me. Everyone seemed to have moved on, but here I was, stuck in the moment I watched him leave my balcony forever.I hardly got by without crying about the decision I had to make on the spot. I wished he knew all that I had wanted to say to him, but that would be selfish of me.Ever since Seth’s departure, things have gone from high to low in my life. It was as if he were the only screw left to my sanity, and I let him off so easily.Was it my relationship with Leo? I scoff because I am truly a horrible mother for keeping him and Rocky apart just so we can continue to push his false relationship with Patricia’s daughter. I didn’t want to do this, nor did Michael, but we came to a conclusion about how important Patricia was to the campaign and there by putting our son up to the task.At least in the end, Michael eventually won by a big
Cravings 98
Like a mad woman on crack, I drove all through the night. My entire body ached seriously because I haven’t had proper rest as I have been preparing for Leo’s celebratory party, mostly to get my mind off of Seth being with another woman.I did take a stop at a hotel along the way to spend off the night; time was going by so fast that even the time I had calculated was clear that it wouldn’t work out at all.My phone buzzed continuously the moment I turned it on, and there were notifications for Seth’s missed calls—over seventy eight of them. I didn’t reply to his texts or bother calling him back, as I had only one priority in mind, which was Seth.My first screw up was waking up so late. I woke up by 7:45 AM, which at this rate I could only blame myself for my foolishness. This was a fallback for me as I was not only far behind in my timing, but I also could miss my opportunity with Seth if care isn’t taken.I projected again to reach at least one but accepted the universe was against
Cravings 99
“I see that our son means nothing to you as much as Seth does,” Michael said the moment I stepped into our room. He was sitting on the bed with the curtains raised up, showing what I had seen when I arrived.“Michael I have had a busy and tiring day. I tried to brush it off, but Michael retorted, “You have no right to complain about that, as it was your lover you went to see.”I was taken aback as I looked at him. “So I have no right to say that I am tired just because I went to see Seth once, and that too after a whole year that I have given him up for our family, like it was so easy for me to do.”“Spare me all of that, Scarlett; this isn’t your first time seeing him, so don’t lie.”“Lie? This is my first time, and it will interest you to know that I still did not get to see him, so give me a break, Michael, please.”“The first time you claim yet you have so many pictures of him stored in your wardrobe,” Michael brought out three bulks of Seth’s picture I had hidden in a hollow war
Cravings 100
A month had gone by since he ran after Seth, and though I hate to admit that he was still running tirelessly on my mind, I was happy with myself for pulling through the entire moneth without sending anyone to look into his recent whereabouts, even as it itch me to."Ma'am, an email came in for the mayor; it is for a family company meeting,” Tasha says while I was seated having my breakfast alone, as I had woken up very late following my late night out with Melissa.Don’t ask how we got close again after the election; it just happened.“Alright, forward it to me. I will personally let my husband know of this; he doesn’t like when his family is brought up sometimes, so it has to be of much better timing,” I said, and Tasha nodded before leaving me to my meal.After eating, I looked into the invitation and noticed it was for private guests only, and it was to celebrate the new milestone the company had crossed given its new leadership. While my family’s company languishes in debt, others
Cravings 101
The event that Michael anticipated so much, as he even organized a convoy for himself, something he has refused to do for a while because he needed security,he just brought it up to prove to his father that he was acting like a pick me.I simply acted like I didn’t care; he was acting weird around me and just looked away. At least all this added to my distraction; if I could get occupiers like this, I wouldn’t have to think about him all the time.When we entered, eyes seemingly stared at us, and trust me, I did enjoy all of the stares. They made us feel very important because obviously we are. We were all rushed, as so many of the guests invited must have been here for networking.I simply excused myself from Michael, as he enjoyed the attention he was getting, and clearly, I wasn’t needed there.“Enjoying being the mayor’s wife?” Melissa’s asked as I came to her after seeing her be sidelined from afar."Well, to them, I might just be the wife.” I looked behind me to see how they had
Cravings 102
I looked at him, and all of us could wonder if he was fine. How did he end up here? Does he know he is Michael’s brother? Has he eaten? Does he eat well? Why didn’t he travel? Who was the woman beside him who he clearly brought to show off to my face? Was he happy with her as he was with me? Was he even happy with me? What of Bella? Why didn’t he settle for her instead? Or does she still hate him? I visited his place a month ago; did his mother tell him that I came?And that was not even all; there are more I would love to ask if given the opportunity, but I first need to get to him. With Michael constantly reminding me that I already have rumors in my head that I am having an affair with another due to his neglect, it was best if I didn’t do anything funny as everyone was watching us.Again, I thought of sacrificing my happiness for Michael; his mayoral position does mean a whole lot to him. Just look, we are seated next to his father as a family, not at some other table like other t
Cravings 103
I walked quickly as I lifted my gown to be able to walk freely. I saw Seth enter the elevator, and it was about to close. I hastened up my feet and walked in before it closed the two of us together.The silence, the excitement, the buildup, the anticipation—all in one.Seth had walked closer to where I stood and pressed on the keys that headed for the ground floor. His scent spread against my face. I wanted to just grab him and sniff till I was more than content, but that would come off as a bit weird. Aside from that, I was going wherever he went so I didn’t have to put in any keys. I managed to breathe, as this was my moment and only chance with him.All the questions I thought of earlier suddenly skipped my mind as I tried to speak, as I know silence won’t help. “How have you been?” I asked silently as I turned to him. Seth, who stood farther away from me, didn’t even respond at all.Time was going by as soon as he was going to step out.I made a nervous laugh as I asked again, “Se
Cravings 104
There was my ego being crushed by the one man I expected not to. I felt bruised, tirelessly moving about the house with my phone tapping on my lips as I thought of so many reasons he was doing this, and there were a whole lot that crossed my mind.I didn’t quite get why he would waste my time in the first place unless he loved playing games like this.Michael entered our room while I was going through all that turmoil in my head. He looked at me like I was speaking to myself and suddenly stopped talking. Just as he came in, “Uhm,” he went over to pick up his wrist watch on the dresser before saying, “I need to travel for a couple of days. Do you think you can hold out without me?”I already do things without you, Michael.“Yes,” I replied. “Where are you heading?”Michael sighed as he gave a long pausing. He was possibly thinking if he should let me know or not. Maybe this has to do with his father again; he has been sulking all through the night, and while I battled my own, he added
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Cravings 113
The minute I stepped foot into that place Michael called home for me and my children, it was the moment I lost all contact with Seth and the world. I never go anywhere without security following me around, monitoring my every movement and the things that I do, and making sure that they work according to my given schedule.Michael has gone insane.“Michael I am tired of all these.” I threw off my shoes and flung them out the window, and wherever they landed, I absolutely had no care for them. “I am tired!”“Then leave!” Michael screamed at my face as he slammed our room door, locking it shut. “I know you want his touch; you are doing all of these because you miss him, don’t you?”“For six months I haven’t seen him; I have adhered to every one of your demands and kept away from him; all I want is for you to sign the divorce papers and free me,” I say, moving away from him."Clearly, you don’t know that I won’t know such things, so act right and come down right now!” Michael yelled, and
Cravings 112
“Carmela, hurry up; you are going to be late for school,” I screamed from the kitchen where I was packing up her lunch. When I didn’t hear anything from her, I went to knock on her door. The door pushed open as I held it. “Carmela.”“Mum, come take a look,” Carmela pointed at the two vehicles with security detail waiting in front of Seth’s apartment.“Ignore them,” I said to her before closing off the curtain. “Seth said he will drop you off at school before we head to the hospital to pick up your brother. Leo is finally returning home.”“Yay,” Carmela feigned excitement. “I am sure he is going to gain all of your attention now.” My forehead creased as I looked directly at her. I saw a small smile on her face. “I am kidding, mom. It is so easy to get to you. Make sure you give him all of the love for me.”“I think you should skip school today and come see him.”“And ruin my perfect record? No, I told you I would do better in school than Leo ever was,” Carmela said as she picked up her
Cravings 111
“Why didn’t you tell me that Leo was alive? What was the need for keeping it away from me and from us?” Michael asked. Carmela had stared with the bitterness she had felt looking at her father this morning.“I did it so Brianna would confess,” I answered.“For fuck sake, Scarlett, if she had gotten arrested, she would have confessed either way; she killed our son, I mean almost,” Michael said as he moved back and forth.“And that is almost the reason he is alive today, Michael. I know Brianna was in her head yesterday, but she is not a bad person and still is my friend,” I acknowledged. “Everything she has done was to provide for her family; there is nothing wrong with that.”“By blackmailing you? Honey, have you gone mad? How can you call someone who has done all these things a friend? I pray she rots in jail for the sins she has caused you.” Michael pulled me and hugged me. I sniffed his shirt, and there was an unfamiliar scent—feminine, I would say.I already knew he had sex when h
Cravings 110
A few talks with the officer were all I needed to get a name that I already knew. I couldn’t believe that the person I trusted so much about would have done this to me. I don’t deserve this. I may be a bad person, but I don’t deserve this at all.We drove over to my son’s murderer’s house as I begged for the police to let me speak to her personally; she is my friend after all.“She won’t harm me; Brianna already told me she would be waiting to speak to me,” I said, trying to convince the officer to wait.I knocked on the door of Brianna’s home, and it opened slightly, given that she hadn’t locked the door as she said she wouldn’t.“You came,” Brianna sat in the darkness of her home. I saw different weapons like a gun, a knife, and a couple of pills on the table. She said, “Don’t worry, they aren’t for you.”“I know,” I said. “You won’t harm me, Brianna.”“I hate you.” She said so simply as she whimpered silently, “You are so lucky; you have a good life, family, money , everything. I a
Cravings 109
A heavy downpour of rain washed over Leo’s grave, and while everyone sought shelter from it, I stood there wondering how lonely it would be over there—no one to talk to, no food to eat—at least you wouldn’t have to study any more.My lips thinned as I exhaled deeply.There is no mother to tell you what you can and cannnot, how to live your life, or who you should be with.I kneeled down as I allowed the dirt to stain all over me, losing my mind at the thought that Leo was actually gone, like I would never get to see him again."Leo, I am sorry.” I cried out as all my pain weakened me. A snort came out of my nose as I continued to cry. It will take the intervention of everyone to leave my son’s at this point.I didn’t give him what he wanted and always found a way to make his life about Michael. I used him as a pawn to achieve Michael’s success, and I only started to feel sorry for it when he outgrew me.I never got to amend my relationship with my son; I never got to do that, and now
Cravings 108
Seth was shocked as to where I had gotten such courage from. I mean, I was drunk in his scent and clearly wasn’t thinking properly, but his saying I should go ahead was where I understood he wanted it too."Seth, look at where we are. Do you think God will want to see that from two fornicators?” I asked, and Seth burst out laughing.“Fornicators? So that is who we are now. I have never felt sin be this good before. You think maybe he will forgive us so easily?” Seth asked as he looked around the chapel.“No, God doesn’t work that way, dear; you have to be remorseful and actually pay the price for the sin before he forgives, I think, but though he is merciful, his forgiveness doesn’t come cheap,” I said, smiling. “I also don’t think we should be this close.” I tried to push him further away while pulling him back at the same time.“Since we are fornicators?" Seth laughed, and the room fell into silence as he gazed at me ever so lovingly. “I know this is wrong, but I miss you,” he said
Cravings 107
I visited the hospital frequently as if it were my home; I had to because Leo was yet to wake up and none of us knew exactly how he wound up at shore for that good man who was fishing to find him.Weeks after weeks, and though the doctors said he was responding to treatment and would probably wake up, there was still no sign of that happening, and now I am starting to become worried.For the first week, Leo’s health had been unstable. We received a lot of visitors at the hospital, but as the days pushed into weeks and then a whole month, everyone who we thought cared had soon forgotten and gone back to their own business.I hardly saw any of my friends around either; they were mostly focused on Laura for now, except for Melissa, and that is solely because she is Leo’s godmother; of course she has to be here along with her son.Even Rocky, whom I thought would be here every day, was also occupied, and I understand he has school and his mother to worry about, so maybe he can be excused
Cravings 106
Silence, a void only one could hear and feel for themselves.“Scarlett, Sarlett, Scarlett.” They all called my name from different areas, but their voices never got to me.Could this be true? Could it be?My son is gone, and I am supposed to feel okay about it.I failed as a mother; I failed as his friend; and I failed as his world.When Leo needed me the most, I was never there for him. I don’t deserve happiness at all.My eyes closed as I allowed darkness to seep into me.*** **** ********* ********** ******* ****** ******* ****** ******* My eyes finally opened to see all of my loved ones gathered around my bed, with the beeping sound disturbing my hearing. I looked around, not saying anything. Where would I find the words?“Mum has woken up,” Carmela’s voice said out loud as everyone who was around the doctor soon came to me.“Darling,” Michael touched my face as he kissed my forehead. At first, I wondered why he was getting so affectionate until I saw who came as well.
Cravings 105
~SCARLETT POV~Ambulance sirens blared as lots of body bags were being brought out and taken into the morgue one after the other, my hands shivering. I had already cried in the car. I can't help it now that I have seen Carmela in tears. She would need me to be strong for her, and I can’t help being weak in front of her.“Mum, why do horrible things always happen to us?” Carmela asked as she embraced me, her tears trickling down from her eyes to my shoulder as I stroked her back. “All will be fine, dear; we just have to identify the bodies; we have to hope your brother isn’t a part of it.”I was breaking down so badly; I was so occupied with myself that I never paid attention. God, I only ask for one thing, and that is for my son not to be a part of the dead bodies that drowned at sea.It was hard to pray because it was confirmed that Leo and Rocky were indeed on the guest list for the cruise and that they did attend.“Mrs. Thatcher,” The officer called as I turned, my heart beating ex
