Chapter 9

IVANA'S POV

“Let's begin, Miss Ivana.” The voice of a female reverberated inside the office, it was soft and soothing.

Seated on a chair across hers, I stared at the woman, who happens to be my new therapist.

She is a beautiful lady with Auburn hair and blue eyes. I bet her cheeks would be hurting soon due to the stretch of her smile.

I wasn't comfortable around her, maybe because it was my first time.

My fingers fiddled with the edge of my sunflower dress as I inhaled and exhaled, trying to calm the dread that rolled through my stomach.

The thought of opening up about my past, my trauma to a strange woman who I just met few minutes ago, didn't seat right with me, but like always, I never had a choice.

After the breakup with Roman, I haven't been myself and Mom misunderstood it.

Ruslan wasn't helping matters also. He always returned to the clan in clothes covered and soaked in the blood of his prey.

I've no idea if it was intentional or not, but each time I came across him, the need to throw up always clawed at my chest.

And to crown it all, he always threw my way a sadistic smile, a slow smile, the smile of a true psychopath.

I couldn't agree less. Ruslan is nothing but a sadistic psychopath.

I bet he needed the therapy session more than I do.

“Do you mind narrating how it all began?” My new therapist, Ms Yvonne threw my way another smile, her hand reaching for the Hourglass.

She set it in a correct position and the sand began to pour slowly, my eyes drifting towards it.

I swallowed. I didn't know where to start or how to start.

Other than Dr. Neelam, no one knew about my trauma, not even my mother.

She only knew that I've a phobia for blood, but the reason behind it, she had no idea for fifteen fucking years.

That's how long I've hid it from her.

“Take a deep breath, Miss Ivana. Don't get too stressed about it.” Ms Yvonne tried to talk me through, but my emotions were getting the best of me.

A part of me was already drowning in that traumatic experience, that black Friday when I lost my dad to some cold-blooded murderers.

“Miss Ivana.” The therapist voice was so soft and soothing that it snapped me or rather dragged me out of my traumatized mind where I was stuck with no escape routine for me.

“Take a deep breath. In,” she directed me using her hand, demonstrating to me how to exhale and inhale to calm my racing heart. “Out. In. Out.”

I did as I was told and soon, I became calm. Driving my lower lips into my teeth, guilt crept in.

We weren't making any progress not because Ms Yvonne wasn't a professional but because I wasn't ready to open up to anyone. Just yet.

“Don't stress yourself or feel guilty.” She stopped the hourglass and flashed me another smile, her clean teeth blaring out. “We have all the time in the world. At least, we are making progress.”

She was trying to sugarcoat me, but I knew for a fact that we weren't making any progress. We won't be making any progress anytime soon.

It was all because of me. Once I find myself back in that traumatic old building where myself, Dad and Mom once lived, I get trapped and can't find my way out.

“This is the end of today's session.” She rose to her feet, stretching her slender hand forward for a handshake.

I was reluctant, staring at her hand for some seconds before shaking it.

“It was nice meeting you, Miss Ivana. See you next week Monday.”

Right. Therapy session was now part of my schedule.

I will be seeing Ms Yvonne more often and that also means I would be getting trapped in that old building deep in the dark corner of my mind for a long time.

“Same here.” Forcing a smile, I withdrew my hand from hers, grabbed my bag and walked out of the office.

Upon getting out of the hospital, I began to walk to the expressway alone, only for me to find out that I didn't come to the hospital on my own.

I was in the hospital with two bodyguards assigned by Ruslan to watch over me like a CCTV camera.

They've been hovering around me throughout the weekend without giving me a breathing space.

“I thought you've left alone, Ma'am.” One of the bodyguard, Felix said, his head bowed and his voice filled with horror. “Only heavens knows what The Bratva and the retired Bratva would do to me if anything happens to you.”

With a resigned sigh, I returned to the hospital where the car was parked, got in and the driver drove off.

We arrived at the clan in less than an hour and upon getting into the sitting room, I was already tired due to the therapy session.

Without looking who was seated in the spacious sitting room, I made my way to the dining room, but a voice made me halt on my track.

“Ivana, how was your first day of therapy session?”

Adrenaline kicked in and something primal inside my brain urged me to turn around, glare at him and walk away, but I found myself replying to his question like an obedient puppy.

Just what he wanted me to do.

“It was great. Thank you.”

His face twisted into an expression of rage and the air around us became denser.

He wasn't happy with the mockery that entailed the reply.

“If I knew that you've always been triggered by blood, I wouldn't have come home in a blood-soaked shirt almost everyday.” Manical sadism contorts in his narrow face.

“That's right. You weren't aware.” I agreed not because I believed him, but because I was too tired to drag an argument with him, knowing fully well that he would always win.

Ruslan never loses. That was his motto.

Taking another step, I walked fully into the dining room, strode to Mom and placed a kiss on her forehead while she rubbed my forearm.

“How was your first therapy session here in Russia?” Mom was eager to know how it went.

She wanted to boost about Russia having the best therapist in the whole universe and as her daughter, I didn't want to decline her that joy, that happiness, so I let out a smile.

“It was great. The therapy is going well.”

“I told you! Russia has the best therapists in the whole world!” She bragged and a wide smile spread on my lips.

It was literally the first genuine smile of mine in three weeks.

“So, Princess, have you heard from your boyfriend, Roman?” Mom suddenly changed the topic and my mood turned sour upon hearing the name of my ex-boyfriend. “He'd be missing you now.”

“As if.” A dry, empty chuckle rippled out of my mouth.

“What do you mean?” Mom narrowed her gaze on me, her brows arched in confusion.

“Roman has been cheating on me with Anna. He said he fell out of love for me.” As I let out part of my worries, it left a bitter taste lingering at the tip of my tongue.

“How dare he?” Mom slammed her hands on the table, dragging the attention of Ruslan and his right hand man, Nicko towards us from the sitting room.

“People fall out of love for their partners. It's not new.” I forced a smile this time.

I was deeply hurt, but masking my pain, the tears that burn at the corners of my eyelids, were the best I could do not to become a complete mess.

“How are you handling it?” Mom's voice softened as her slender fingers reached out to hold both sides of my chin. “I'm sorry, Princess.”

“I'm holding up just fine, Mom. You don't have to worry.” I stepped back from her touch and forced another one of my numerous fake smiles. “I need some rest right now.”

With that said, I turned around, heading upstairs but I could feel my mother's lingering gaze piercing from behind.

I just lied to her. God! I have become a good liar now.