My heartbreak feels cold. It's like concrete drying in my chest. Perhaps the worst part is that the heartbreak is unexpected, as is always is; top of the world one minute and cut down the next. I feel like my heart is literally cracking in two, leaving a massive, gaping hole in my chest. Tears stab at my eyes, making my vision go blurry, but Alex does not even notice, his eyes stamped onto his beautiful erasthai. I feel my heartbeat rising, and my breathing becoming shallower, but before the tears can leak from my eyes, I jump up and bolt away into the forest behind the shimmering lake. I keep running and running, sobbing quietly, before I trip and land face first onto the dusty forest floor. I don't have any strength to get up and continue running from my heartache, so I stay down, weak and oppressed with hot tears dripping from my cheeks, creating a puddle on the floor. Violent sobs wrack my body, as I cry out in pain and sorrow.We were never destined to be, but I fooled myself int
My first exam, English Lit, is tomorrow. Not that I am actually ready or prepared for it though. However, the exams are serving as a needed distraction from my cracked, bleeding heart. I have stopped being able to cry; my tears have dried up. Now I just feel hollow... numb. I've been staying at Celestrina's house since the moment I awoke and realised that I have to get out of here. I phoned my dad, begging to go home, but he said that I have to at least take my exams first, which is what I'm doing. Or at least trying to take them, my attention during studying has been... questionable. Alex hasn't been going to school, fortunately. I don't think I could take it, constantly seeing and smelling him, knowing he is so close yet so far from me at the same time.I have been thinking a lot about things, and I have a sneaking suspicion that Alex is older then he claims to be... surely a Lycan Prince would not be completing their schooling in at tiny town that hardly anybody has heard of? He on
My first exam, English Lit, is tomorrow. Not that I am actually ready or prepared for it though. However, the exams are serving as a needed distraction from my cracked, bleeding heart. I have stopped being able to cry; my tears have dried up. Now I just feel hollow... numb. I've been staying at Celestrina's house since the moment I awoke and realised that I have to get out of here. I phoned my dad, begging to go home, but he said that I have to at least take my exams first, which is what I'm doing. Or at least trying to take them, my attention during studying has been... questionable. Alex hasn't been going to school, fortunately. I don't think I could take it, constantly seeing and smelling him, knowing he is so close yet so far from me at the same time.I have been thinking a lot about things, and I have a sneaking suspicion that Alex is older then he claims to be... surely a Lycan Prince would not be completing their schooling in at tiny town that hardly anybody has heard of? He on
"At last! Last exam finished!" Minnie cheers.I softly smile with Minnie, as we exit from the stressful hall. I am happy that all my exams are finished, of course, but also there is an underlying current of sadness flowing through me. I'm leaving tomorrow. The ghosts of memories past haunt me wherever I am, and I can only hope that they won't follow me home. I think the memory of Alex will always plague me though... he's my first love, the one that got away.My dad is surprised that I am coming home as I have done nothing but rave about the place the whole time I have been here. I think he can tell something is wrong though, through his fatherly instincts or whatever. I haven't heard from any of the Lycans, and none of them are going to school, so I have no idea what is going on with them. Alex has probably whisked his perfect mate off on a honeymoon somewhere, and the others are probably happily getting on with their lives, no thoughts about me. Why would they? I'm not one of them. A
Alex's POV...Do you ever just want to say fvck it and move to Mexico? I wish I could run away from my problems but that won't help anyone. I have a duty to my family and kingdom. Shit, when did everything get so messed up? When I met Phoebe Johnson, that's when. The annoying, beautiful, mesmerising, infuriating, perfect little weirdo. When I first saw her, her enthralling beauty blew me away. She was only relaxing by her locker with some other chicks, but she looked so sinfully beautiful. When our eyes connected, I swear I felt my heart beat faster, but I shook the thought off and casually winked at her. There was no way I would allow myself to be affected by a simple yet gorgeous human girl.I did however know right then that I needed to have her, just to get her out of my system, and I may have just been thinking about pure sex, but when I approached her in the school hall and she pushed me away and fought my advances, I became intrigued. I knew she was just as into me as I was of
This is it. The end... the final chapter. I was going to take the three buses to the airport, but Cele's mum very kindly offered to drop me down. It is going to be a long and emotional ride, but there is no escaping it. This is reality. As I manage to squeeze in the last of my suitcases into Cele's mums four by four, I let out a shaky sigh, knowing the time to leave has arrived. I feel sick to my stomach by this. I don't want to leave... of course I don't. I have fallen in love with Lupine Peak, the beautiful little natural treasure hidden away from the rest of the world. It is like a pocket of peace in the midst of chaos. I am really going to miss everything and everyone here.Especially Alex.Oh, and my sister.And my friends!Alex has a nasty habit making everything about him in my life.Feeling the tears about to bubble their way up to the surface I hurriedly shut my thoughts down, not willing to go down the path of depression again. I really just want my dad now. He always knows
Alex's POV..."Do you love my sister?"My head snaps up from my hands as my eyes carefully assess Tammy, trying to figure out what her motive is. She is hovering in the doorway to the gym, her face red and puffy with tears streaking down her cheeks. I frown at the sight. She is important to Phoebe, and Phoebe would be heartbroken to see her sister in this state. Phoebe... the girl who is constantly running around my mind and sixty per cent of the reason why I didn't sleep at all last night, instead pounding my fists into punching bags and lifting weights quadruple the amount of my body."Do you?" She sniffles again."I... I have an erasthai..." I stammer, uncertain as to how she wants me to answer."I know, but do you love Phoebe? You look just as miserable as she is now." Tammy dejectedly points out."...I do. She's... perfect." Tammy nods in response to my confession."You know... she, she's leaving. Today. Back t-to our d-dad. Only you can stop, stop her." Tammy stumbles over her w
Oh my goddess... What the fvck happened to me? I feel like I was hit by a bus then trampled on by a herd of elephants! My mind is unable to decipher anything apart from blurry images and fiery pain at every nerve end. I daren't move; scared that the slightest of movements will make everything feel ten times worse. As I swallow it feels like I am eating pins, and I take the time to realise I cannot feel my right arm from the elbow down, or my left leg. I'm so tired...I try to turn my neck to gain some sense of what the hell is going on, but as I move, I'm hit by nausea and swirling dizziness. This isn't right... Am I at a hospital? Why's it so dark? I then realise that my hands are bound to whatever surface I'm laying on, preventing my escape. Right, so maybe not a hospital then. Think Phoebe, think! Oh, yes... I was leaving town... going home... crashed... darkness... rescued... darkness... Oh my goddess, I remember now! I was in a car accident! Shit! What about Cele and Bitea? Godde
Well it is Thursday again which means I've got a date with the devil, and no I don't mean Ajax, I mean his sisters, both of them. They love me as much as I love them, making Thursday night my favourite of the week.Apparently Giri's brother requires their garage tonight meaning the boys are practicing in Ajax's room. This has created a new problem as Nessie and Miya want to watch their brother, giggling at his very explicit instructions to keep out. I have to keep catching them and taking them back downstairs, which means the girls now view it as a game to try and breach Ajax's room, which is leading to a very tiring night for me. I can't be too firm with them as they aren't my kids, yet they are taking my calm instructions to stay downstairs as a joke. Can you tell I'm stressed? Up and down and up and down and up and down the stairs we have been, chasing the little rascals around and throwing them over my shoulder as they try to make a run for it.I didn't know having kids could be s
I am riding to school with Ajax this morning. Tiger sent me a gloomy message after I got home from Maisie's last night saying she has to go in early, and I didn't want to get up any earlier then I have to. I told Ajax about my little problem and he insisted I ride with him. He finally has a new phone and keeps bugging me with messages. Well, it's not really an annoyance when I'm literally counting the seconds until he messages again. My stomach twists up in knots and a nervous blush coats my cheeks whenever I'm around him. It's like my body just cannot handle his hotness. I've always been quiet, but never shy, especially not around my friends, and I guess Ajax is my friend. Although some part of me doesn't like the idea of that.I hurry out of my house right on time to find him leaning against his insanely cool car, waiting for me with a teasing smirk. His 1970s Chevy Camaro is a smooth inky black in colour with a thick white stripe reaching towards the windscreen on the bonnet. A pic
SEVEN AND A BIT YEARS LATER..."Ah fvck!" I curse, tears beading in my eyes as another wave of pain washes through my stomach.Dammit, that's another pound in the swear jar. Yes, that's right, we officially have a swear jar that travels everywhere with us, trying to curve our bad language habits. It's been going ok, well, ok for me, but Vincent swears like a sailor so I've been making millions off him. Since he met his mate Clarity, he's been much happier and turned into a better man, which is lovely to witness. She is a tiny thing, actually smaller then me so she is the butt of many jokes, but she has an amazing sense of humour, and finds the good in everything, so she doesn't take offence."Ow, ow, ow, ow! When will this be over?" I moan, squeezing Alex's hand so tightly I swear I can feel the bones shift."Its ok baby, just breathe, just breathe." Alex murmurs supportively."Don't tell me what to do! This is all your fault!" I yell, the pain unexplainable."Ok I'm sorry, its fine,
I have never been a fan of air travel, but Alex's private plane does help. I am pretty freaking scared about meeting my Alex's parents, but it is an inevitable event; I am the heir to the throne as I'm mated to their son. According to Alex there is a ball being held in my honour tomorrow night, with some of the most influential and powerful were's and lycans in the world in attendance. I am quite nervous about my debut into society, but Ana who returned to Russia last week has promised me that there is nothing to worry about, and has helped plan the event. I guess if anything, it is pretty flattering having a whole ball dedicated to me. I'm sure I'll be bombarded with introductions and will have to follow royal protocol tomorrow night, but having Alex by my side will give me the strength to persevere through it.As we got off the plane, (Vincent, Lucian and Sapphire travelled with us) a fleet of royal cars and bodyguards were waiting for us, reminding me once again that I'm no longer
*Smut warning - very mature!!*"Woohoo! This party is great!" I yell over the thundering beat to Alex, whom I am currently dancing with, lost in the sea of bodies.It is finally Halloween, and I managed to persuade Alex to come out to Celestrina's party with me. It has been four months since we mated, and everything has been just wonderful. Next week we are leaving to Russia with our pack to meet Alex's parents – aka the freaking King and Queen of all Lycanthropes. I am quite nervous, but I'm sure they'll love me. I will be the sunniest ball of sunshine they have ever met! Celestrina is doing great as a werewolf. It took her a while to adjust, but now she's loving being a part of the superior race. I told her about me being a Lycan, and she was amazed, but really happy when I told her the whole story of my life. She has decided to take a gap year before she heads off to college, to make sure that she has her wolf under control, and has learnt the ways of a were.Her Halloween party is
Seven Years later...Sometimes I wonder how my life would've turned out if I had dug my heels in and never went to Lupine Peak. I don't doubt that I eventually could have changed my dads mind; I can be pretty stubborn at times. It's scary to think about how different my life would be – I wouldn't have met my soulmate, Alex, found loyal friends ready to sacrifice their lives for me, and definitely wouldn't be preparing to be crowned Queen, alongside my Alex, who is also now my husband. We decided on a small ceremony a year after we mated, (mostly just for show for my dad and other human family) at one of Alex's private Islands, this one located in the Maldives. It was absolutely beautiful, and a memory I will never forget. After a few days there, we went to Bora Bora for an Instagram worthy honeymoon, where our backyard was waves of royal blue, soft and gentle, just begging to be swam in. After our few weeks in paradise, we returned to Russia as a united force, ready to begin my Queenl
My eyes are suddenly open though I can't think of why; my heart is pounding, mind empty. It's as if a hypodermic of adrenaline has been emptied into my carotid. I strain into the utter darkness; my breathing rate increased ten fold. There is something inside of me, straining to burst out. Ghostly whispers in my ear urge me to get outside, to be in sight of the moon. At this point, I am panting, and drizzled in sweat. I vaguely hear Alex awake from beside me as I stumble out of the bed and tumble to the floor, my sight blurry. Alex murmurs from behind me as I rush unsteadily to the window, something pulsing, trying to rip out of my chest.Feeling like I can't breathe, I use my remaining strength to smash out of the window, and tumble into the garden below. I feel something snap as I land with a thud on the floor, momentarily stunning me, but I don't register the pain, too preoccupied with whatever is clawing around inside of me. There is a roar before a thud reverberates through the gr
"Oh Phoebe... I'm so happy you guys are together now! So this means you're staying, right?" Tammy asks anxiously as Alex and I part for breath, the group still stood by the door."Hmm... I'll think about it." I wink playfully.In response, Alex's arms tighten possessively around me, and he growls in my ear: "You're mine now kitten. I'm not letting you go."The vibrations from his deep, husky voice throb straight to my core, causing my legs to clench around Alex, and me to bite my bottom lip hard to stop a wanton moan from flying out. Taking a deep breath to control my raging emotions, I turn back to Tammy."I'm joking... of course I'll stay here, where ever Alex goes, I go." I explain whilst sinking my head into Alex's hard chest, comforted by his roaring heartbeat."You've made me the happiest man in the world Phoebe." I hear Alex murmur above me, and then plant a tender kiss on my head."Aww, you two are the cutest! You've made my brother soft." Ana chuckles, interrupting the tender
As we pull up at the mansion, I feel like I'm housing a whole damn zoo in my stomach. I find some relief in the fact that I can't sense Alex here, meaning I have some more time to relax and think about what I'm going to say. A wave of nostalgia washes over me as I take in the beautiful mansion, walking up the white marble steps to the ornate front door. I have lived here, cried here, loved here and almost died here. It most certainly will always be scrapbooked into my memory. As I enter into the grand palace, my dad with his arm wrapped around me, we encounter a shocked Vincent."Phoebe! I thought I could sme... hear you!" He gasps, an easy smile gliding onto his face smooth as butter."Hi Vincent. I've come to see Alex... oh and this is my dad, Ricky." I explain hastily."Oh that's real great Phoebe. He should be back soon. Hi Ricky, would you like me to show you around?" Vincent easily charms my dad."Yea sure, nice to meet you. Take it easy Phoebs, and just call me if you need any