When I came home that evening, I felt tired, but energized enough from the successes of the day. I had only had three customers, and between them acquired $400 in beautiful green bills. My fingers smelled like money. Unlike the bathroom, which smelled like shit.Literal shit.Loki, Nolan's pet ferret, was allowed to roam around freely during the day out of his cage. I saw the sense in giving the poor animal a bigger space to explore for eight hours. Nolan claimed that ferrets could learn how to poop in their cages, like cats using a litter box.You obviously cannot, I thought at the furry, snakelike beast. Globules of ferret poop dotted the bathroom floor: by the toilet, by the bathtub, in the bathtub, near the closet. I felt my anger swell when I saw a line of shit in the closet, near the wall. Loki tunneled through his playground of t-shirts and blue jean pants. Ripping a handful of toilet paper off the roll, I began to pick up the tiny turds. I breathed through my mouth to
"And coming up next is Rose, stand by, Rose," shouted the DJ from the booth. Languorously, like a cat stretching from a nap, I slid by body down and off the customer one last time. "Thank you for the dances," he murmured, reaching for his wallet. "You're most certainly welcome," I replied. I loved this moment, the reaching for the back pocket, pulling out a brown, faded leather wallet, stuffed with cash and credit cards. I relished the opening of this vessel of identity and funds, unfolding down the center like a book. He took out five twenties, and I tucked them into my Crown Royal bag, which was already stuffed with my stage tips. "Thank you very much. Please come back and see me." I trailed my hand down his chest, drawing an invisible heart with my finger. "Of course," he said. He stood up, adjusted himself, and walked toward the exit, while I sauntered my way to the stage. As I stepped on, I felt the return of the demented courage I felt the first time I danced. I was
"Keep up the good work," a man dressed in blue jeans and cowboy boots told me, slipping a five into my t-back as I walked past. From my time onstage, I had a whole hula skirt of 1s, 5s, and even a stray 10."Thanks, baby," I replied. "Do you have anyone right now?" He took a sip of his whiskey. "I do, indeed, handsome." My boobs glistened with just the right amount of sweat. "Well, when you're finished, stop by. I'll be waiting.""Then I won't be long," I purred. I drank the intoxication of literally having a queue of men waiting for me to dance for them and get paid for it. The first time I took home $400 in a single day was surreal. I had to count it again in the apartment, just to make sure it was real. $500 almost made my hands shake. I loved the silky texture of legal tender slip through my fingers, as my teller-muscles quickly and effortlessly counted a stack of 20s.Now, it wasn't as though I were taking home that amount every single time I went to the club; I definit
"It's Clifford!""Hey, look, it's Clifford!" A dad pointed while his three-year-old stared off into space."Don't you want to take a picture with Clifford, the Big Red Dog?" My co-worker asked a child fiercely clutching his mother's legs.As Clifford the Big Red Dog, I had a perpetual grin stretched across my face, but inside the suit, I squinted as sweat poured into my eyes. Even though it was only 70 degrees out, I essentially wore a giant jumpsuit, plus an enormous, heavy head on my shoulders. I felt sweat gather under my arms and along my back. I had two small eyeholes that were just tiny dots, set so far above my eyesight, that I may as well have been blind. Every so often, I caught a glimpse of a child's shrieking face or a parent's shin, or ceiling of the small tent I was in. The city was holding its annual farmers market, but everyone participated, even the library. On the right side of the tent, city hall handed out brochures about the upcoming election. A few tents down,
My phone buzzed. Rose, it's Gary, read the text. Three little bubbles appeared. Listen, I was wondering if you could do me a favor, read the next. I waited for more bubbles. I need a car, because I need some way to get around to different gigs. I've been looking at cars on Craigslist, and I think I found one that could work. Ok, where do I figure into this? I wondered. Can you lend me the money to buy it? I swear I'll pay you back. The title will be in your name and everything. I thought about it for a bit. How much? I responded.Eight hundred. I thought about my Crown Royal bag, full of dancing cash. I could make that up in a week, I thought. Sure, I sent. The next week, I went with him to pick up some piece of junk car that had approximately 800,000 miles on it and an engine that coughed its way through existence. "Thank you so much," said Gary. "You're really helping me out. I promise I'll pay you back week by week."I never heard from Gary again. *A
It was one of those unbearably slow days. The kind of day where maybe ten men in total had entered the club the entire day. The kind of day where the dancers were taking naps in club chairs and waitresses were lounging and gossiping for hours. I wandered from the upstairs bar to the downstairs seating area again and again, my ankles screaming to sit down. "Hi handsome, are you doing all right?" I asked a guy with the glazed expression of a dead fish."I'm just here for a beer," he responded. My face heated and my pride stung at the rejection."Just let me know if you need anything."Come on, just give me one dance, I pleaded inwardly. Don't let me go home with just sixty bucks. Slow days were a special sort of torture. I plopped down at the upstairs bar and tried to not look as bored as I felt. Chanel was chatting with the bartender. Indica was there too; I hadn't really ever spoken to her, except for the occasional hello or compliment her ass tattoo of a marijuana leaf. C
Now, I had never tried cocaine before in my life. If it doesn't come from the earth, I'm not going to put it in my body. But there was no mistaking the pure white powder in a tiny dime-bag that everyone was sniffing out of. I hadn't even seen enough movies to know what to pretend what to do. I didn't want to turn it down and ruin the vibe of the party, but I sure as hell didn't want to be hopped up on coke when I came home that night (much less try to drive). Gold Earring Guy had a small amount balanced on a long pinky nail extended out to me. I looked around, hoping that no one would see what seemed so obvious what we were doing. Luckily, a waitress was walking over, and I motioned for him to go ahead and hit it, since his back was to the waitress and she wouldn't be able to see. Nancy Regan never taught how to "Just say no," when you're a stripper trying to hit the jackpot on a slow day, and the only way to do that is to play along. Chanel must have seen the slightly panicked loo
Never say that there is no honor among thieves. Or at least, no honor among strippers. And don't think just because a strip club is a den of sin, the modern-day pirates' tavern, or Gomorrah's gambling house, that moral quandaries do not arise. What I did at Cabaret Royale that day was either one of the best decisions I made during my time as a dancer or one of the most absurd. It started off like any other day; I had already made about 200 bucks and it was only mid-day. The crowd was a bit sparse, but I had chanced upon a well-to-do customer. He came in wearing a simple outfit of jeans, a long-sleeved tee, and a windbreaker. He was short, about 5'4," with brown hair and brownish skin. His face had a vaguely "Asian" look, and I later learned he was Philippino. You would have never known he was loaded. However, he didn't have the air of someone stingy, like they were hoarding all their money. He was kind, generous, and simply a quietly humble guy. He came in originally looking for on