Chapter 2: The struggles of a hermit

"Thank you for helping me, Ryder."

How comic for such a sentence said with such a soft and warm voice, sounding so sincere to make one fall on their knees and keep sleep at bay all night.

It was like she could hear the voice of that man saying that sentence over and over again as if he was taunting her.

He knew her name.

If this fact alone wasn't disturbing enough to keep Ryder all night awake, she also couldn't shake off the feeling that that voice was terrifyingly familiar, but not so much at the same time. She couldn't say much about it when the man spoke in the beginning for the voice was mixed with sobs and broken in tears, but when he thanked her... Where has she heard that voice?

He knew her name.

Ryder turned inside the house in a rush. Her feet tripped and her knees almost gave away a few times. She was trembling and cold sweat rolled down her back. What in the name of heaven did just happen? What the fuck was this out-of-a-horror-movie experience she just had? And most importantly... How the fuck did she not die?

The night never felt so long and terrifying. For the first time, Ryder didn't feel comfortable in her loneliness. It took hours for her to calm down and a lot of reasoning to shake away the unreasonable fear of darkness that bubbled up out of nowhere because of the unpleasant experience she just had. It felt as if the man would jump out of every dark corner of the house, but Ryder detested such a feeling. She liked the darkness... she refused to allow such an experience to change this. This idiot of a girl was such mule-headed that she would rather die than let go of her old habits and preferences regardless of the dangers, let them be reasonable or not.

As the night passed and sleep seemed not to be planning to take her consciousness, Ryder found herself less scared and calmer. However, the calmer she got, the more curious she became. With fear slipping out of her heart, another feeling found its way in. She now was deeply interested in all that happened. It couldn't be helped for this girl had a very curious nature. She was a little curious headless chicken.

And so Ryder started to wonder.

The man could be one of the boys living in this neighborhood, but if it was so, wouldn't she recognize them? They were all flirty and annoying, bullying people just for fun, trying to look almighty and powerful. Ryder had watched them countless times harassing women shamelessly regardless of age and bullying little kids for fun. However, the man didn't give that kind of aura... he was... different. Ryder refused to believe that the assholes from her neighborhood knew how to apologize or even know what the words "I'm sorry" meant. Yet just to be on the safe side, she decided not to exclude this man being from this neighborhood as an option. After all, it's not like she knew every single person for she was too introverted for that.

The man sounded quite young... he couldn't be much older than her... what if... what if he was from her school? If it was like this then she knew even less about the guys in her school. This chicken had no interest in getting to know new people and so she knew very few people from school. And Ryder also had a problem remembering names, sometimes even faces. The people from her neighborhood, she knew because she had been living here her whole life, but people from school? Nu-uh!

As a sigh puffed out of her lips, Ryder recalled the shaking shoulders of the stranger and felt a bit vexed.

The man looked drunk at first but when he thanked her this impression shattered to nothing. As she tried to make sense of this, a phrase from her favorite author came to her out of nowhere and replied in her head over and over again... Drunk in pain...

The corner of her lips lifted slightly as she shook her head.

The man did seem to be in pain, and not physically at that. His voice carried sorrow and reflected the agony of his heart, but Ryder didn't dare wonder what might have happened to this stranger to be in such a state. For her, own good, she didn't let her imagination run astray. What if she accidentally scared herself?

When the morning came and Ryder left for school she looked in a miserable state. Her hair was always tied up messily, but this time it wasn't even combed. Her feet dragged lazily and dark circles hung under her eyes. This girl looked in desperate need of sleep. If it wasn't for the fact that she had pulled an all-nighter the day before yesterday she wouldn't look so disgustingly tired by just one sleepless night, but two nights without so much of a blink of sleep were a bit too much for her.

Jasmine looked at Ryder and scoffed. "Let me guess... new project?"

Ryder pondered over it on her way to school if it was a good idea to tell her about what happened or not. She wasn't sure if telling her would bring more problems or not, because she knew Jasmine would go all mama-bear on her, probably call the police, alarm her parents, and before Ryder could have lifted a finger to stop her, she would have lost the privilege of being home alone as well as staying up late with her projects. As mentioned before... she would rather die than give up on her comfortable lifestyle.

Yet still, it felt a bit unfair to keep her in the dark.

Ryder shook her head.

"Read another book?" Jasmine tried to guess again as they walked to class together. Ryder shook her head again. "Then what?"

"I will tell you if you promise me not to scream, yell, lecture me or try to handle things yourself."

Upon hearing this, the expression on Jasmine's face darkened. Her dark eyebrows furrowed and people stepped two feet away from her as they walked by. She looked scary. Her worrying face truly was frightening.

Hesitantly, knowing very well she would regret it later, Jasmine nodded. If she didn't agree Ryder most likely wouldn't tell her at all and just keep it for herself and after that warning, she HAD to know.

Only after she saw Jasmine nodding, Ryder started to elaborate. "Some guy broke into my backyard last night at midnight."

Ryder hadn't even finished the sentence when all color left Jasmine's face the moment she heard the words "broke in". By the time Ryder had finished talking, Jasmine had already patted her all over the body, lifting her sleeves and checking her neck, personal space be damned. Her hands trembled. "Are you okay? Did he do anything to you? Are you hurt? Where does it hurt?"

The rapid questions showered Ryder not leaving her room to speak.

"I'm fine." She assured her and continued to explain what happened.

Jasmine had wanted to yell at her out of distress, but she had promised not to do so. Then she wanted to lecture Ryder for being careless and not reasonable for not calling the police, but once again she had promised not to. Just as she was thinking of letting Ryder's parents know in secret so at least they wouldn't let her stay out until so late, scared that such a thing might happen again, Jasmine almost blew up from anger... ┻━┻ ︵ヽ('Д')ﾉ︵ ┻━┻ ONCE AGAIN SHE HAD PROMISED NOT TO DO SO. Fuck you, Ryder (#‵′)凸 .

After being defeated so mercilessly by Ryder, Jasmine wanted to throw a fit, but right then a boy with hair falling over his eyes as if trying to hide his face from others' gaze, passed by her. Their eyes met just for a brief second before the young man looked away as if Jasmine's eyes set him on fire.

Jasmine looked back at his back and scoffed as a smirk hung on her lips.

Ryder, who had noticed all this, looked at the youth and Jasmine back and forth a few times before not being able to handle her curiosity any longer, asked her. "Who is he?"

The smirk on Jasmine's face intensified, almost giving her an eerie aura. Sis, is Ursula your mother?

"My new baby..." Jasmine answered as if the words leaving her mouth weren't creepy nor showed that she might be a bit mentally unstable at all.

Ryder looked at the back of the young boy once more right before he disappeared amidst the people walking down the hallway and pitied the poor guy.

Ryder sighed.

"Don't worry, mama won't love you less." Jasmine threw her arms over Ryder's shoulders as they walked to their seats. "My heart is big enough to have room for both of you."

Ryder "What happened?"

Jasmine "He was getting bullied and I beat up the brats. He's so cute, isn't he? How can I allow such a cutie to get treated like that? I must protect him at all costs." Oh... That explains the bruises on her lips and cheekbone. Ryder didn't bother asking because she had gotten used to Jasmine's face being bruised most of the time because of her bad habit of "playing" with her older brothers in hardcore mode. Eventually, things always got out of hand and the three of them would start brawling and then their father would beat the hell out of all of them to stop the fight. But this time the bruises had another story behind them. Mama-bear, apparently, had begun adopting again. "You are my adorable daughter... and he will be my adorable son. I have always wanted a son, anyway."

This thug really has a weird way of thinking.

Ryder was shaking her head softly laughing at her best friend's stupidity when a shadow fell upon her and she looked up to see what caused the eclipse only to be met with a pair of green eyes and a dazzling smile that made her heart skip a beat.

"Good morning." Aiden greeted her so casually, that Ryder was baffled. How can he talk as if we have known each other for years? What is this skill? Is this how normal people act?

"M-morning." Her cheeks reddened a bit. She was caught off guard alright?!

As the teacher entered the class and didn't waste time, but began writing on the board, Jasmine raised an eyebrow at Ryder in surprise. Her look was as if she was asking "What just happened?"

Ryder shrugged. How was she supposed to know? When did this chicken ever know how humans worked? Maybe she was a chicken from Mars.

The confusion got worse when the class ended and this prince charming flashed Ryder a smile, waved, and muttered a "See you around" before leaving. Ryder didn't know how to react to such behavior. She felt like she should blush but wasn't so sure about it. In the end, all that was done was blank staring. "Did he hit his head?"

"Maybe he's interested in you." Jasmine narrowed at Aiden's back. It better be pure interest, or this thug here will crush him to dust.

"Is that possible?" Ryder highly doubted it. They never had a proper conversation so why would he take an interest in her... but then again the same was for her as well but she still has a crush on Aiden.

Math was the only class the two had together so unless it were in this classroom, Ryder wouldn't have much chance of meeting Aiden. There was also PE but the teacher loved to tire the students to death so who would have the nerve to stare at their crush while looking like a sweating pig and almost dying of breathing problems?

Yet throughout the day every time Aiden would pass by Ryder he would offer a smile and that classic nod of acknowledgment boys usually do. With every smile and nod, Ryder felt that the degree of the blushing increased, which wasn't a nice feeling at all. She hated how she looked when she was blushing.

What was going on?

"I'm starting to think you either knocked his brains out yesterday or he magically developed a crush on you overnight," Jasmine said when they were eating lunch in the cafeteria. She was biting down on the plastic fork not actually eating, while her eyes wandered through the place as if she was looking for someone.

Ryder flipped the page of the book she was reading and shrugged playing it cool, but in reality, she wasn't that cool about it. Her ears turned a nice shade of pink and her teeth bit on her lip. Maybe it wouldn't be that bad if her crush liked her back... Wouldn't it be... nice?

Jasmine pushed an apple to Ryder, still looking around the cafeteria. Ryder took the apple and put it aside. She didn't usually eat during lunch because unless the food was bliss to her taste buds she wouldn't want it. The only food that went into her stomach had to be something she craved or she wouldn't put it in her mouth. Still, Jasmine tried to feed her. "Are you looking for that guy?"

Jasmine nodded as if lost in thoughts. Then her eyes suddenly widened and she looked at Ryder with eyes filled with concern. "What if he's getting bullied right now?" The sentence hadn't even left her mouth when she stood up taking the empty tray with her. "I'm going to look for him."

"Oh... okay."

Not wasting any time Jasmine left, leaving Ryder alone. Ryder didn't mind it at all. It's not like they were joined at the hip, besides she knew how seriously Jasmine took her adaptation process. When she "adopted" Ryder, that brat would pop out of nowhere all smiles and grins, starting conversations and trying to help her with the smallest stupidest shit. Even an asocial hermit-like Ryder can't ignore all those caring looks and genuine smiles.

Since she wasn't eating anyway, Ryder grabbed her things and put them in her backpack ready to leave as well. Just as the backpack was thrown over her shoulder, Aiden passed by. Upon noticing Ryder he muttered something to his friends and sat on the chair Jasmine had been sitting on a minute ago.

"Hi, Ryder!" Aiden grinned.

What the fuck? "Hi!" Her voice came out shaking. In her defense that was unforeseen and sudden.

The green eyes fell on the book still in her hands and with that unwavering grin on his face, as if they had known each other for years, Aiden took the book from her hands. "What are you reading?"

Isn't he being overly friendly? How extroverted is this guy?

The corner of his lips twitched a bit as he read the title. This didn't go unnoticed by Ryder who felt her inner bookworm awaken. "Have you read it before?"

The book was rather thick, and the number of pages usually scared people away... and by people, I mean "uncultured lads" who didn't like reading. The cover of the book was a bit damaged even though the title "The Ashen Soul" looked as good as new and the pages felt old to the touch from the overusing. There were stick notes and bookmarks every few pages.

Aiden shook his head and flipped through the pages before stopping randomly on a stick note and reading it. "What are these for?"

Ryder felt her cheeks heat up. "Oh... I just like the writer's style. I like to note down the phrases I like."

"Mhm." Aiden flipped through the pages a few more times before closing the book and giving it back to her. "So, how have you been?"

Ryder "???" Is he okay? Is he feeling unwell somewhere? Ryder had to fight the urge to check if Aiden was having a fever. "...Fine, I guess."

Aiden rested his chin on the palm of his hand, his head tilting a bit. The green eyes were twinkling, the lazy smile looked so dazzling, her heart skipped a beat and Ryder felt her ears turn red. The young man in front of her was too handsome. "You look a bit tired."

"It's nothing..." Damn it... her voice came out a bit hoarse. Ryder looked away and failed to clear her throat without making it too obvious.

"Do you want to hang out sometimes?"

Excuse me, what?

Her mind went blank for a moment.

"You hang out only with that boxer girl right?" Since her father owned a boxing gym and she had the bad habit of getting into fights, Jasmine had gotten the stupid nickname of Boxer Girl which much to Ryder's surprise, the girl didn't even mind. Quite the opposite actually, she liked it. "Why don't you hang out with me too? Having more friends is nicer, isn't it?"

"I don't..."

"Let's be friends."

Huh?

Ryder was at a loss for words. Is it that simple? Just like that? One question and they can be friends? Is this... wha-... Huh?

The smile on Aiden's lips was too beautiful and soft, too friendly. It made it hard for Ryder to tell him that she didn't like socializing that much. How could she tell him no when he was looking at her like that, making her blush once more? "I... okay? I guess."

The smile grew bigger. "Great then. I will see you around." And with that Aiden stood up and left.

What just happened? Why isn't prince charming turning into a goblin or frog?

For the rest of the day, Ryder's thoughts were messy and tangled with each other like a ball of yarn being played around by a very energetic kitten. On one hand, she was overthinking what happened in the cafeteria and how should she act with this newly made friend of hers, and on the other hand, Ryder couldn't help but keep her ears open, trying to find a specific voice among hundreds of male voices in the hallways and classrooms. It was a very pathetic strategy. Voices are the first thing of a person to be forgotten and she didn't even see the face of that stranger so there was no way of finding out who he was. Still... Ryder couldn't shake the feeling that she had heard that voice somewhere before.

When she was back home, after a long hour of convincing herself that what happened last night was a one-time thing and two hours of procrastinating by doing homework, Ryder finally grew some balls and walked out to the backyard to continue with the making of her drafting table.

The place was like she had left it last night, the saw still on the ground from when she had thrown it away before running inside the house like a madman. Still, a bit hesitant and harboring three teardrops of fear in her heart, Ryder got into work. After a while, her body relaxed and things were back to normal, as usual. Music played on her phone, coloring the messy backyard with sweet rhythmic notes carrying different emotions. Ryder's dark hair flew with the rocking of her head, a serene smile lifted the corner of her lips as she from time to time mouthed the lyrics of the song without noticing it, the sky turned dark, and stars filled it like little fireflies everywhere. The lights in the backyard were on, but the girl didn't stop working.

Just as the voice of the singer died down as the song "When I was young" by MØ ended and when Ryder plugged in her nail gun, a voice came from behind her. "What are you doing?"

The voice scared her so much, that a high-pitched squeal came from the bottom of her heart as she jumped back in fear. The nail gun shot a nail that was firmly nailed down on the ground just two inches away from her foot. With her body trembling, Ryder turned to the direction the voice came from, wanting to aim the nail gun at that person but didn't dare to for fear of accidentally killing him.

The young man from yesterday stood behind the fence, only his crossed arms and his head resting on them peeping out of it. His figure was hidden by the darkness since this dumbass forgot to change the light bulb.

"What are you doing here?" Her voice shook as she asked. With swift moves, Ryder grabbed her phone and stopped the music. Her eyes glanced at the time. It was midnight. When the hell did it get so late?!!

"I wanted to apologize for last night." The young man said.

"Apology accepted. You may leave now."

"Mhm." The young man muttered. For a second he seemed like he was going to leave, yet before Ryder could have the chance to sigh in relief, he stopped moving. "What are you doing?" The young man asked again.

"If you're not leaving, I'm calling the police." Ryder pathetically threatened. Her voice shook and her hands trembled, making her demeanor not look as threatening as she wanted it to be. Damn it, man, what's wrong with this man? Why is he back? Who the fuck returns to the "crime of scene" to apologize?

But if he was able to find the house again... doesn't this prove that he wasn't drunk last night?

Ryder didn't know if this made all this situation scarier or not.

"I'm just curious."

I'm curious too as to why I have such damned luck, but you don't see me complaining, do you? Eyeing up the man, that part she could see that wasn't behind the fence at least, Ryder sighed in relief. He wasn't intruding this time... this was a good thing, right?

"It's a drafting table."

The young man sounded surprised. "You're doing it from scratch?"

"Yeah..."

"Amazing."

Ryder waited for him to leave but the young man just stood there, not moving as if he was waiting for Ryder to continue working. She could feel his eyes on her. With none of them moving nor saying anything, the atmosphere transformed from a scene from a horror movie to an awkward scene that caused horror to the asocial Ryder that didn't know how to handle small talk. What is this shit?

Maybe it was because the young man didn't sound that dangerous, his voice sincere, or maybe because she didn't sense any hidden intentions, but most likely because she wanted to satisfy her curiosity as well, that made Ryder ask the young man. "Why were you crying last night?"

Hidden from shadows where Ryder couldn't see him, the young man's body tensed, his body suddenly feeling heavy. "Sometimes tears can ease the pain in one's heart." He answered with a sad tone.

Ryder frowned. This dude sounds smart. Smart people don't just jump on other people and carelessly kill them, right? Coming to such a conclusion, Ryder managed to relax a bit. For some reason those words sounded familiar... she must have read them somewhere...

The awkward silence fell on the heads of the two people again, one in the light and one in the dark, both with gazes fixed on each other.

Seeing that the man wasn't going to leave for the time being and since he didn't seem like he had any intentions of harming her, Ryder decided to satisfy her curiosity a bit more. "Are you from this neighborhood?"

"Pass."

Ryder raised an eyebrow. What the... Is this a game? She tried her luck again. "What's your name?"

"Pass."

"Are you from Rosevale High School?"

"Pass."

After the third "pass" Ryder turned red from frustration. "Why did you break into my backyard last night?"

"I was running away."

"From whom?"

"... life..."

"That doesn't explain why you jumped over my fence."

The stranger sighed. Whatever... might as well tell her. "Some guys wanted to beat me so I tried to find somewhere to hide."

How dumb is he to jump into someone else's backyard that had lights on? But then again dealing with the owner of the backyard sounds better than getting beaten up... Okay, he might not be that dumb... just a bit.

"How do you know me?"

This time the stranger didn't right ahead answer but hesitated for a bit. "We have crossed paths a few times..."

She has met him before? Ryder was flabbergasted. That would explain why his voice sounded familiar. But then again... as asocial as she was, the number of guys she had talked to could be counted with the fingers of one hand. Yet for the love of God, she had no idea who this guy might be.

With his eyes focused on her face, seeing her cute confused expression, with the corner of her upper lip lifted a bit and head titled on the right like a little kitten, the young man's eyes softened and his lips curved up in a gentle smile.

"When?" Now she HAD to know who this guy was. By the look of it, he wasn't going to tell her anything so she might as well figure it out herself.

The young man shrugged. "It has been a while, hasn't it?" Ryder could hear the smile in his voice, his tone sounding as if he was thinking out loud.

"Can you give me another hint?"

The young man surpassed a chuckle. What a curious kitten. "Why do you want to know?"

Ryder angered, raising her voice. "Isn't it obvious? All this isn't normal. I want to know who you are."

The young man lowered his head that was still resting on his crossed arms, and bit down on the back of his hand as he pondered over it for a moment then with a voice sounding so innocent and serious, sounding almost as if he was pouting he asked. "Isn't it nicer when some things are left a mystery? Reality can be bitter, you know?"

Ryder was taken aback by his words. She wanted to disagree, but wasn't this exactly how she felt about trying to get to know her crush? She wanted to be shameless and just go against his words, but she didn't want to betray herself like that, to betray her own notions. In the end, all she could do was agree.

"Ignorance do be sweet sometimes," Ryder admitted. "But this time it's bittersweet."