Chapter Twenty-four

Chapter Twenty-Four

Danielle

I look at myself in the mirror as I wash my hands, and for the first time in a long time, I don’t pick apart my appearance. Having my hair and makeup professionally done helps, but mostly…I look happy.

Because I am.

So incredibly fucking happy, and nothing can dampen my mood. Want and desire swell inside of me, and I’m going to go find Logan and take him up to our room. He said he was going to take his time with me, but I want to do the same to him.

Tie him up. Tease him. Make him beg for more.

I dry my hands, smooth out my dress, and go back to the reception hall. Logan is at the table, with his back to me. A smile pulls up my lips, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t stop smiling.

Logan turns around, almost like he can sense me coming. He’s on the phone, and something isn’t right.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, rushing over to him.

“I’ll call you back,” Logan says to whoever he’s talking to.

“Logan?” I’m getting a little freaked out. “What’s wrong?”

“That was Wes,” he starts and brings one hand up to the back of his neck.

“Oh my God. Is Jackson okay? Did Daisy come back?”

Logan shakes his head. “No, she didn’t, and Jackson is fine. Wes responded to a call and…I’m so sorry.” His brown eyes meet mine. “Your grandpa had a heart attack.”

“What?” I shake my head. “No. He didn’t. He’s…he’s fine.”

Logan puts his hand on my arm, and I jerk away. I don’t want comfort. Because comfort means something bad happened, and nothing bad happened.

There is no reason for comfort.

Logan and I are finally together. I realized who I am and how I’m on the path I’m supposed to be on.

Grandpa is fine.

“Wes told me the doctor says to come home right away. They’re treating him now, but…but…they’re not sure if he’ll pull through,” he says, struggling to say the words out loud. He puts his hand on me again, and this time I need it. I fall against him, still trying to process everything.

“What…what happened?”

“Wes said he collapsed during Bingo. Wes was on call and got there right as the paramedics did. He’s at the hospital, but we should…we should go home.”

“Now?”

“Yeah,” he says, and what he doesn’t say weighs down on me. There isn’t much time, and I’m halfway around the world right now.

“I…I should tell my mom.”

Logan takes my hand. “I’ll come with you.”

I blink back tears. “Thank you.”

Logan stands and helps me to my feet. He cradles me to his chest, and I let my eyes fall shut. Alcohol floods my veins, and I wish I could puke it all out while at the same time want to down another drink. With my hand firmly in Logan’s, we walk through the room, looking for my parents.

My mom is talking with Diana and Peter, smiling and laughing without a care in the world. Today is supposed to be a good day. A happy day. A carefree day of no worries and no stress.

“Danielle!” Mom says, looking my way. “You look so lovely this evening, my dear.”

“Hey…can we talk?” Logan starts, eyes darting from my mother to Diana. He knows this news will ruin her otherwise perfect wedding day. I swallow hard, feeling vomit threatening to rise in my throat.

Grandpa had a heart attack.

While I was gone.

Logan’s voice is a distant echo as he tells my mother the same exact thing he just told me.

“My brother is the county sheriff,” he starts, “and he responded to the call.”

My grip on Logan’s hand tightens and I swallow a lump of vomit.

“The doctor didn’t give a detailed report, but he said you should leave as soon as you can in case…in case the treatment doesn’t work.”

So we can say goodbye.

It’s so final.

Harrowing.

My eyes start to flutter shut.

Peter puts his arms around Diana and turns her around, shielding her from the bad news. He might be a slimy bastard, but that look in his eyes tells me all I need to know: he really does love my sister.

My heart is pounding hard against my chest yet at the same time isn’t beating at all.

Logan’s words resonate in my head but start to lose meaning. I hear him talking to my parents about plane tickets and being able to get to the airport right away.

He tells me he’ll pack my suitcase and will meet me in Indiana as soon as he can.

“What?” I blink, heart in my throat. “You’re…you’re not coming with me?”

“There are two tickets available on the next flight,” he says gently. “You and your mom need to be there. I’ll get on the flight after that. It leaves just a few hours later.”

I shift my gaze from Logan to my mother, who hasn’t spoken to her own father in years. Logan knows Grandpa better than she does. It should be him coming back with me because…because…I need him.

“I can’t do this without you.”

“Yes,” Logan presses. “Yes, you can. Owen will pick you up from the airport. And I’ll be there as soon as I can.” He grips my hands and starts to move.

“Where are we going?”

“You need to change,” he tells me. “And get your carry-on and wallet. I bought your plane tickets.”

My lashes come together, and I nod, so grateful for him right now. Plane tickets. Right. I need to get home. To say…to say…I can’t finish my thought. Tears fill my eyes, and I reach for the glass of red wine on Diana’s table, bringing it to my lips before anyone can stop me.

I get a mouthful down when Logan puts his hand on my wrist, moving the glass away from my mouth.

“Dani,” he whispers. “It’s going to be okay.”

“Is it?” The lump rises in my throat again.

“I don’t know. But I hope it will be.” He looks down at his phone. “I just texted Quinn.”

“Thank you,” I tell him, knowing that he texted Quinn to ask Archer to check in on my grandpa. Archer is a general surgeon and won’t be caring for Grandpa, but knowing he might be there to talk to me and explain things in terms I’ll understand is a little comforting.

“Come on,” he urges, brows pushed together. “Let’s go upstairs.”

*

I shift my weight, watching the second hand of the airport clock tick by. We have seventeen minutes until we’re supposed to line up to board. I’m sitting next to my mother, who’s been uncharacteristically quiet this whole time. It’s dark out now, and every minute that ticks by kills me.

I won’t have cell service in the air.

I won’t know what’s happening with my grandpa.

Archer called a few minutes ago, going over my grandpa’s chart with me and then again with my mom. He could say the same things over and over and I couldn’t understand it.

Because I had no idea Grandpa had a history of heart disease. That he’d been seeing a cardiologist for the last five years. Or that it seems like he stopped taking his blood thinners back in the winter.

How didn’t I know? Guilt sits heavily in my stomach and made me sick more than once. I hand Mom my purse and hurry to the bathroom once more before we get on the plane. I’ve gotten rid of all the alcohol in my system this way at least.

“Logan texted you,” Mom says, staring straight ahead.

I reach inside my purse and pull out my phone. Logan sent me all the photos he took, saying he hopes it’ll offer me a good distraction for a few minutes. I flip through them and wish I could go back to that moment when we were hiking through the Bamboo Forest when everything was fun and new.

Tears fill my eyes, and this time, I make no attempt to quell them. I miss Logan, and I’m terrified of what might happen.

“He’s lived a good life,” Mom starts, and I jerk my head up, glaring at her.

“Don’t,” I say as tears roll down my face. “Don’t talk like he’s already gone. Archer said he’s seen people pull through.”

“Danielle,” Mom whimpers as her own eyes fill with tears. And now I feel bad for her, because of all the time she lost with Grandpa. I’ve learned more from him in the last year than anyone could have taught me over a lifetime.

We’re called to board the plane before she can get another word out, and we silently line up and find our seats. Once we’ve taken off, Mom reaches into her purse and pulls out a pill bottle filled with Xanax. The strongest sedative I’ve ever taken is Benadryl, which isn’t a sedative at all.

I have an eight-hour flight ahead of me. Against my better judgment, I take one and put it in my mouth. The little white pill crunches between my teeth, leaving a bad taste in my mouth.

I grind it up and let it absorb under my tongue before swallowing hard. I’m sitting next to the window, and turn my head, looking out into the dark. Only a few minutes later, I pass out thanks to the Xanax.

I sleep for a solid five and a half hours. Waking because I have to pee, I carefully step over my mother, who’s asleep, as well as the person in the aisle seat. My hair is still done up in a fancy updo, and enough hairspray has been applied to keep things more or less in place. My mascara ran down under my eyes, and I wipe it up, smearing the remaining eyeliner across my cheeks.

I clean myself up the best I can and then go back to my seat, pulling Logan’s sweatshirt out of my carry-on bag. He packed it for me, as I sat on the edge of the hotel bed in stunned shock.

I pull it over my head, breathing in deep. I don’t know how I would have gotten through this so far without him. He packed my bag, bought my plane ticket, and arranged for the car to come pick us up and take us to the airport.

Dad stayed at the reception, trying to keep Diana from freaking out. I don’t know the appropriate reaction she should have. It’s her wedding, after all, and freaking out won’t save grandpa. She’s never been close to him, not like I have, and there were only two seats left on this plane ride back. Logan will arrive a few hours after I do, and I have no idea if Diana will be with him.

I pull Logan’s iPad out of the bag. He downloaded a few things for me to watch, and my heart lurches in my chest when I think about him.

How much I miss him.

How much I need him right now.

And how much I love him.