Six: Dilemma

"You smell like a rose." Sean played his nose through the skin of my neck, up to my hair, as we sat on the beach sand. 

Staring up at the Azure sky of the evening, I giggled at the feeling of his warm breath against my skin. He cupped his arms around me, pulled my back closer to his torso, although there was hardly any inch left between us. Leaning closer to my neck, he kissed it. 

"I miss your tiny body. I love you." His naked chest locked to my back, causing goosebumps to rise on my skin. 

"I love you too." My reply came out in a whisper. Since I was wearing a singlet, his lips could also make contact with the skin of my shoulder. He kissed my body passionately. Very passionately. And at this moment, I decided to enjoy his touch. 

I shut my eyes, inhaled the cool air that surrounded us. A low gasp left my lips when his hands moved to my waist, and before my body could react further, something bumped against my head. 

"Ow!" I cried. Opening my eyes, I was back in my room. 

Damn, what? A dream? Again?  

Disappointed, I sat up straight, so sad that I couldn't feel his love. If I hadn't ever felt his love in real life, at least I should have felt it in my dream. 

"Why did you wake me up?" I mumbled, squeezed my face, yawned between. 

Bella hopped on my bed, sat like someone who was about to take a yoga class, faced me directly. "What's up with smiling while sleeping?" She winked. "Was it that Roy guy? Are you starting to feel something for him?"

"Just shut up." I rubbed my palm against my sleepy eyes. "You ruined my sweet dream. Sean was about to show me some love."

"What?" Her question was in a low tone. She narrowed her eyes at me, bit her lip. Just about to ask her what was going on, she cut me off by slapping my lap. 

"Ouch!" I grouched, frowning. And, she was frowning harder. 

"So you still like that moron?" She whined. I guessed it was time to get some lecture from her. "For goodness sake, he's a dick. A person who didn't support you when you needed him, doesn't deserve you. How can you still like him?"

I rolled my eyes. "Come on. You shouldn't blame him. I was the one who never had time for our relationship."

She scoffed. "And so? What about the embarrassment you faced? Are you seriously this soft?"

"But it's—"

"If that dude's the reason you don't have time for a relationship..." She stood from the bed, folded her arms across her chest, still scowling. "Then I'd say you're crazy. No one's worth wasting your time on. For goodness sake, you're twenty three. How long do you wanna wait for that irresponsible dick?"

"Okay. That's enough," I protested. 

Standing up, I began to arrange my bed, wanting to end this conversation. I didn't like the fact she was being intense in speaking wrongly of him. Of course, she wasn't happy that he had to dump me, but that didn't mean she had to say awful things about him. And why was it her problem? I was the one who got dumped, not her. 

"There are better guys out there." She didn't refrain from speaking. Infact, she was speaking with more intensity, and was speaking louder. 

"Stop this!" I yelled, tossed the pillow in my hand, and turned to her. I was getting flustered. "I know you're concerned about me, but let it be. I own my life. And, please, you're being quite nosy. Have I ever interfered in things between Jason and you? Why are you so— just forget about it."

"Alright." She flared her nostrils, raised a finger at me. Uh-oh, I guessed I had flared up. "It's your life, right? But get this straight. If that moron breaks your heart again, don't dare to come to me for comfort. And, for your info, Jason and I's story is different. Amy stole Jason from me. I was the one who ended my relationship. But, in your case, that guy dumped you."

I scorned, holding my tears. "Whatever. Just leave me. If I need comfort, Barb and Virg will always be there for me."

She clenched her teeth. "Good." With that, she stormed out of the room. 

I tousled my already mussed hair, with my fingers, and sat on the bed. 

To be honest, Bella was right. Besides the fact that I was ever busy working, in a way, I also didn't want a relationship because I still had some crazy hope that Sean and I would get back together. But, this was really causing a stagnancy in my life. What was I supposed to do now?

"This is the exact reason I don't want a boyfriend." I looked up when I heard that voice. To my surprise, it was Virginia. She was standing by Bella's bed, a white towel wrapped around her chest, and another on her wet hair. 

I rubbed my tears, smiled to pretend like I was fine. "You aren't going to school today?"

She walked to the small dressing mirror which stood in between her and Barb's bed, sat on the stool in front of the mirror, starting to apply some skin care products to her face. 

"I've got an evening class today," she informed me. 

"Oh."

"So, what's up with you?" She unwrapped the towel which was around her hair. Oh, it was time for her to take care of her hair. Since she was mixed, she claimed her curly hair was hard to maintain. Well, it was good she had enough money to maintain it.

I sighed. "Bella's complaining about Sean. I don't know why she's got a problem with him."

Her reflection stared at me. And then, she chuckled before returning to drying her hair. 

"You don't know why? Really? I mean, we've all got a problem with him. Pardon me, but I also don't like him," she declared. 

"Wh-What?" I was surprised to hear her say that. 

She exhaled, and twirled around. "I don't wanna lie to you. To be honest, that guy doesn't deserve you. I think you're quite blind. I mean, he dumped you over a little thing."

I looked down, my eyes swimming back in tears. Ah, this was so hurtful. 

"But it's hard to forget the time we spent together. I… still like him," I confessed. 

"It's also hard for me to—" she stopped speaking, for some reason. Staring up at her, she just smiled. "Oh, sorry about that."

"What's hard for you?" I asked in a low tone. Low because I was sad and quite worried about her saying that. 

She looked away, took a tooth comb from her bedside table. "It's personal."

"Oh. Okay." I didn't bother to ask her anything further. She was quite secretive, and I was used to that already. 

"Anyways, just brush that guy off your mind. He's not worth you," she added, walked back into the bathroom. 

I took my pillow, tugged it to my chest, covered my face with my palm, and wept on it. 

This was hard. So hard. But, at this point, was I supposed to move on, and make things right? Or, was I to keep hoping that Sean and I would be lovers once again? Oh, shit, this was a dilemma. 

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