Chapter Two

I tried to make sense of Bailey’s words, but then I reminded myself that I don’t really give a fuck about what people think. Except for Jen, I don’t think I really care about anyone. I don’t even know what’s so special about her. People come and go but I don’t know why I stayed with her when I fucking pushed everyone away. Maybe it is her fragility. Her state of unspoken weakness that makes me feel needed. Or maybe because she is the only thing that reminds me of the warmth and love of the family I once had.

              I looked up at Bailey and gave him a frown. “Just because I’m more creative than others in the manner that I dress… or that I don’t let guys spin my head with their bull flatteries… doesn’t mean I’m gay, right?”

               Jen and I have been best friends since high school. When I came to town to live with my father, after my mother and her life partner died in a car crash, Jen was the first friend I had. She accepted me for who I am—with all my quirks and weirdness. She was there when I was dealing with the pain of losing the most important people in my life—my mother and her partner, Isabella Offner.

               Back then, my pain turned me into a mess. I was on the brink of quitting school and going over the wrong side of the tracks. Jen and her parents helped straighten me back up.

              Now that her parents’ marriage was at a breaking point, and she may not be strong enough to handle the pain that goes with a broken home, I have to be there for her.  I have to protect her.

I picked up my phone and sent her a text message: Good morning.

My phone rang and I smiled when I saw her name on the screen.

“Morning, Gracie,” I answered lazily.

“I have something to tell you!” Her voice was overflowing with excitement.

“Sounds like you could not wait for me to wake up to deliver the news.” Maybe her parents decided to kiss and make up. Nothing would make her happier than that. “How are the folks?”

Silence on the other line and I bolted up on my bed as I heard a sob.

“Jen?”

Shit! How could I be so stupid?

She took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. It’s been one week since my dad last came home.”

 “It’s okay, Jen,” I said. “He’s just on a business trip. You know he works hard.”

Yeah, right! I’d be damned if I ever believe that.

“You promise, Ken?”

I crossed my fingers and replied, “I promise. Now, what was the good news supposed to be?”

 “Last night, at the bar. I ran into an old schoolmate. Nicky Atkins.” She sounded cheerful once again.

I haven’t had my daily dose of caffeine yet but needless to say, I was wide awake now.

Who the hell is Nicky Atkins?

“A-and?”

“I have not seen him in, like, a decade. He’s still as dreamy as he used to be. Maybe even dreamier!”

I could actually imagine her face: big stupid smile and stars in her eyes.

“D-did you talk to him?” I asked.

“Yes! He still remembers me. He just got back in town after studying abroad,” she replied. “Oh, Ken! He’s so smoking hot! I couldn’t stop thinking about him last night.”

“You did not mention him last night,” I said.

“I didn’t want to jinx it. He asked for my number and I thought, you know, he would never call. Nicky always had a line of girls craving for his attention.”

Suddenly, alarm bells started ringing inside my head.

“Player,” I murmured.

“Well, he does have that reputation but maybe he’s waiting for the right girl to come.”

“That’s what all players say to their next prey!”

“Wow! That coming from Ken Clarke?” She giggled. “As if you did not leave a trail of broken hearts of your own.”

“Not my fault they missed the big I’m-not-interested warning sign written on my forehead,” I said dryly.

“Anyway, he gave me a call this morning! He asked if we can meet in Rhythemes again tonight!”

“Please tell me you didn’t say yes.”

“Of course, I said yes.”

“You agreed to go out on a date with him? You just met him last night!”

“No, I didn’t just meet him last night. I met him many years ago. We had common friends. He really liked your band and I told him I am besties with the drummer. He suggested we watch you together tonight.”

“So you practically used me to get a date with a hotshot playboy you were crushing on?”

I was irritated. It was bad enough that she was interested in a guy she barely knew but to use me as her excuse to get a first date with him was a little more than I could take for breakfast.

“Ken, please! I need this.”

“You need what? A guy who just wants to get into your pants?”

“You don’t know him.”

“And you do?”

“Ken, please?”

Instead of answering, I said, “I need to go. My father is calling me. Talk to you later.”

I didn’t wait for her to answer. I threw my phone on the side of my bed.

Damn! I did not see that coming!

For years, I tried my best to protect Jen from guys who would just mess with her. She was vulnerable. Jen would not be strong enough to handle the pain if a boy played with her emotions after playing with her body.

There were plenty of boys in the school who wanted to get to her, but nobody succeeded because of me. I managed to make sure they stayed right where they were—as far away from her as possible. Every day is a cycle of the same guys from last week. Why wouldn’t I know? I have seen all of those before.

But why do I get a bad feeling that this Nicky character will be different? It sounded as if she’d had a crush on him for years.

I came down to have breakfast. The day was not looking good and somehow, when I set foot on our huge dining room and saw my father having coffee at the table, I knew that the day had just officially gotten worse.

To say that my father dislikes me was a huge understatement.  My mother left him for Isabella Offner before she found out she was pregnant. When my mother died, he had no other choice but to take me in even though he loathed me.

He looked up and took a minute to look at me from head to toe as if he was seeing me for the first time. Then he took a deep breath, shook his head and went back to reading his newspaper.

Good! I am dismissed.

My father was ashamed of me. He admitted I was brilliant but he didn’t see me as his successor. No matter how much I excelled in my studies, or in music, I could only see shame in his eyes whenever he looked at me. He didn’t love his child. He only saw the kid his wife raised with her lesbian partner. I was the constant reminder of the fact that my mother left him… for a woman.

I was raised in an unconventional family. No father. Only two mothers. I never knew my father until after that fatal day. We were a happy family. Isabella took care of my mother and me. We never needed my father. Isabella did a far better job at being my dad than what my real father could ever manage. She even left me with a little money when she died. I could have lived on my own with that money. But since I was a minor when they died, I had to live with my father.

Though my father was paying for my education, the car that I drive, the food that I eat, he always made me feel that I have to make up for what my mother did to him.

Isabella was a woman, but she was more a man to me than my father would ever be. She was strong and tough, but also very loving and compassionate. She was the perfect father any child could ever ask for.

I accepted every insulting thing my father said to me because in the end, those were just words. I was still hoping that someday, he’d see me as his own flesh and blood. That he would realize how he deprived me of love all twenty-two years of my life because he could not forgive my mother for leaving him.

My father finished his coffee and stood up from his seat. Before he left, he looked at me one last time and said, “I hope I didn’t pay for that unicorn hair of yours.”

I looked back at him thoughtfully and replied, “Don’t worry, Dad. I have Isabella’s life insurance money to pay for the things you don’t like about me.”

The look he gave me was beyond furious. If there was one person my father hated in the world, it was Isabella.

“I hope that money runs out soon,” he said acidly.

“Nope,” I said dryly. “She taught me to be frugal.”

He shook his head but decided not to say anything more. He turned on his heel, leaving me alone to finish my breakfast.

***

That night, I had another gig at Rhythemes and Bailey persuaded me to sing.

Jen was sitting at the front table again. All day, all she could talk about was this Nicky character. I was on the verge of puking from hearing his name.

I stood in front of the microphone and the crowd cheered louder. The music played David Guetta’s “Dangerous.” Bailey sang the first part. I have the part with the higher notes. For me, it was effortless. For the crowd, it was more reason to go wild.

When we finished the song, the audience was on its feet, screaming for more, including Jen. I should be happy. I would have been, if I hadn’t noticed the guy standing next to her which shot up a thousand alarm bells in my head.

He was tall, perfectly tanned, with dark hair and striking eyes. He had his arms crossed in front of his chest and he was looking at me intensely. Jen was leaning toward him, batting her eyelashes. He, however, didn’t even bother sparing her a glance as he was busy sizing me up. And as we looked at each other eye to eye, I knew we both have the same thing in our minds: trouble.