I was in no mood to deal with this guy right now unless I wanted my fist connecting to his jaw.
Great! I should have let the blonde share my table.
“You didn’t think she was nice?” he asked.
“Nope.”
“Too blonde for you?” he asked again. When I didn’t reply, he persisted, “What’s your type? Blondes, brunettes, redheads?”
Seriously, why does he want to know?
I raised a brow at him. “Why do you assume that I like girls?”
He raised a challenging brow. “Do you?”
“That’s none of your damn business!” I snapped.
I was pissed off that he was asking me annoying questions as if he was trying to get to know me and all my secrets, all my weaknesses.
That actually reminded me why I went here in the first place. I wanted to clear my mind and re-strategize. I have to find a way to beat Nicholas to his game.
As I looked at him, I realized what he was doing. He was trying to conquer me without launching a fight. He was trying to get my approval without asking for it.
Well, then. Two can play this game.
I played with the coaster in front of me. I looked at him through narrowed eyes and asked, “What about you, Nicholas? How do you want them? Blonde, brunette, redhead?”
He stared at me under his eyelashes. He looked thoughtful, as though he was choosing his words very carefully. I have a feeling I knew the answer already. Blonde. It was in both our minds, but none of us wanted to say it.
“Clothes, accessories, even hair color can be changed.” His eyes went to the top of my head. “You, more than anybody, should know that.”
Wow! This guy could make a career in show business. The way he evaded that question was admirable.
When I didn’t reply, he continued: “It’s the way she carries herself that attracts me more than anything. The confidence, the brilliance of her mind, the mystery that envelopes her. It makes me want to uncover all her thoughts and all the secrets she keeps inside. The cool, quiet façade she puts on to mask the burning passion nobody, maybe not even herself, knows she has.”
I didn’t know what stunned me at that moment—the words he said, the way he said them, or the way he stared at me when he was saying them. But for a moment, I felt weird, as if one moment I was entirely sure of myself and the next, I was not sure the world was how I believed it to be.
If this was how Nicholas talked to girls, I would believe in his rumored ability to make them fall for him overnight so he could get them to bed.
Honestly, Jen was nothing like the dream girl he was describing. For one, she was not quiet and mysterious. Everything she thought actually came out of her mouth.
I pulled myself out of the temporary trance and took a gulp of my beer. He was still looking at me intensely, as if he was communicating some sort of hidden message with the weight of his stare. I couldn’t decipher that message properly. Whether it was a fair warning, or a solemn promise, I couldn’t tell.
I cleared my throat. “Wow. I was under the impression you like your women shallow, with absolutely no sense of self-respect,” I said in my weak attempt to mock him.
He drank his beer and said, “And I was under the impression you do not believe in gossip.”
“I do not need to hear the gossip to draw an impression of you,” I said acidly. I was trying to keep cool, but the more I talk to Nicholas, the less sure I was of myself and the more convinced I was that he was winning this little game.
He kept staring at me and then he shook his head slowly. “I’m pretty sure half of your thoughts about me are wrong.”
“Really?”
“Really,” he said without blinking. “For example, if I were in your position and that blonde came on to me, I would have done the same thing you did.” He paused for a while and added, “I would be less blunt, but yeah, I would have rejected her, too.”
I raised a brow at him. “She’s not your type?”
“I don’t like girls who are shallow, with no sense of self-respect,” he said, amusement all over his face. When I didn’t reply, he asked, “What about you? What captivates the great Ken Clarke?”
It was probably the first time I was asked that question. I must admit he caught me off guard. I actually didn’t find anybody attractive at the moment. But I knew it wasn’t the appearance that drew me in to someone.
I took a gulp of my beer and didn’t answer.
“Nothing?” he insisted. “Everything?”
I stared at him crossly. “What do you take me for?”
He shrugged. “I think you judge people too soon; you don’t even give them a chance to give you a first impression. You don’t want people to get through to you because you don’t want to get burned, to get rejected the way your…” he trailed off, but I knew exactly what he was going to say.
I refused to show him any emotion. I stopped myself from telling him to go and fuck himself.
He continued, saying, “Your likes and wants may be dictated by the needs of the people around you. You act accordingly. You don’t get drunk because… Come on, you stop drinking after two bottles. Not because you couldn’t take it. But because you haven’t tested your limits before and you didn’t want to lose your sobriety in front of others, especially men. You don’t trust anybody around you enough.”
Damn!
What the hell was Nicholas Atkins doing? What kind of strategy was this? Was he purposely getting on my nerves? Trying to make me lose my temper so he could take a peek inside my mind? Did he really think he had me all figured out?
Well, he did actually, but there’s no way in hell I would admit that!
“Dude, you really think you know me, don’t you?”
He shrugged. “You know how I paid for my college education?” he asked but didn’t wait for me to answer. “Poker. I spent a lot of time playing. More than the luck in hand, poker needs a great deal of skill in reading people.”
When I heard that, I didn’t know if I should be scared. I must admit that I underestimated him. While I was strategizing how to get rid of him, he was doing nothing more than analyze me. While I was scheming how to make him look bad so Jen would forget about him, he was studying me so he would know all my weaknesses, know what would make me flip, make me weak.
Somehow, it scared me that Nicholas had just described me far better than how Brett, Jen, or my father could and he’d only known me for a week. If he were any other person, I would probably feel flattered that for the first time, somebody paid attention to me—and what was underneath this ice-cold attitude I call my armor.
But Nicholas was not just any other person. He was somebody I want to take down before he takes me down. And with the way he deciphered my personality, I could tell that he was already ahead of me by a mile. And shame on me, because I’ve always thought I was a brilliant psychology student.
I kept my face as stoic as possible, giving absolutely no clue that he somehow managed to throw me off balance.
“Since you think you had me all figured out, why don’t you answer that question? What do you think attracts my attention?”
He looked at me for a long moment and then he replied, “Attention.”
I raised a brow and looked at him crossly. “Dude, I am far from being hungry for attention.”
I actually found his response offensive. The way I dressed and the way I styled my hair were a form of creative expression. I didn’t do it to get anybody’s attention. I played drums for the band to help Brett until he gets back on his feet, not to become popular. What Nicholas said was seriously revolting!
He held his hands in front of him. “Wait, wait,” he said. “Let me finish.”
“You have ten seconds. Your ass is overstaying its welcome on that chair,” I said through my teeth.
He took a deep breath. “I didn’t mean you are craving attention. What I meant was, maybe you want what craves your attention.” He sighed as if in defeat. Somehow, I had the urge to laugh at seeing him a little disoriented, as if he said his honest thoughts out loud too quickly. In a more careful tone, he added, “You do not want attention for yourself, but you can’t resist someone who genuinely demands for yours, because it doesn’t give you a choice to think about what you want.”
“So, you’re saying I’m a pushover?”
He shook his head. “I’m saying you’re a good person. Too good, you’re bordering on heroic sometimes.” He gave me a long look and added, “It doesn’t hurt to think about yourself once in a while, you know. Trust in somebody else. Let somebody take care of you for a change.”
I had no idea the guy is a fucking shrink.
I took a gulp of my beer and said, “I can take care of myself, thank you very much.”
He shook his head slowly. “I didn’t say you can’t. Just make sure you know the difference between love and abuse, that’s all.”
I leaned back on my chair and raised a brow at him. “So now that we have established that I don’t know what I want and that I lack conviction in life, what do I need to do to get you out of that chair?”
“I’m not saying…” he started and then trailed off, sighing in defeat. He turned toward the dancefloor and then he said, “Those girls look like they could use some company.”
I followed his line of sight and saw three girls dancing together looking as if they were having the time of their lives. One of them was dressed rather provocatively and her dance moves clearly stated the message she was conveying to her audience. The other two girls were laughing at her, looking amused rather than scandalized by the way their friend was behaving.
I turned back to Nicholas and narrowed my eyes at him. “You want me to wing you?”
I couldn’t believe that. If there was one guy who didn’t need any introduction in this town, it was Nicholas Atkins. But then again, if I successfully diverted his attention to another girl, I might just get rid of him completely. This could be my one chance to see him in action and get dirt on him that I could use to blackmail him into leaving Jen alone.
He grinned at me and shook his head. “Nope. Do you really believe I need winging?” Then he gave me a wink.
He really is full of himself, isn’t he? Well, guess what, stud? I’m winning this round!
I’m going to get Nicholas Atkins drunk enough to sleep with one of these girls!
I stood up from my seat and finished my beer. “Come on, Atkins. Show me what you got on the ladies!”
We made our way to the three pompom girls on the dance floor.They saw us coming and I immediately saw the interest in their eyes as we approached.I forced a smile on my face. This was the first time I would do this but there was no way in hell I’d let Nicholas beat me in this game.We probably have the same goal: get the other to sleep with a stranger, hopefully the one with the huge I have STD sign on the forehead.“Can we join you, ladies?” I asked politely.I could tell they were ecstatic to dance with us. Trixie was the girl who had long black hair, dressed in a black skintight dress that ended decently above her knees. Elle was the cute redhead with pixie hair, wearing skintight jeans and a Sabrina top. The provocative girl wearing a white dress that left nothing to the imagination was named Saucy, which sounded more like her stage name than her real name.I smiled at Saucy. She was my target tonight. “Hi, Saucy. This is Nicky,” I said to her, putting my hand to Nicholas’ back
I pretended not to be affected. “Fine,” I said coolly. “What do you want me to do?”Nicholas turned to the waiter. “Give us a round of—”“Vodka?” I suggested.Nicholas shook his head.“Tequila?” Elle piped in.After looking thoughtful for a while, Nicholas said to the waiter, “The Green Fairy.”I blinked back at him.The fuck?“That’s illegal!” I protested.“Was.” Nicholas raised his forefinger in the air. “It was illegal, right, Tofer?” he asked the waiter.The waiter nodded. He turned to me and said, “We’ll make it an enjoyable experience for you. We have a mix called Hypnosis. It’s perfectly safe, with none of the ingredients that banned the Green Fairy before.”I turned to the ladies, checking if they were keen to the idea of drinking what was once believed to have hallucinogenic effects. But all I saw were excitement on their faces and enthusiasm in their eyes. Shit! I did not see this coming.Nicholas was grinning. I could tell he was really enjoying himself. The waiter returne
I slowly turned around and found Nicholas standing in front of me, with only a towel wrapped around his waist. His hair was still dripping from the shower. I could not help noticing his firm biceps, a set of six-pack abs, and all other things designed to make any girl avert her eyes, bite her lower lip and occasionally steal sinful glances at the lower region of his body.As I looked at Nicholas’ perfect physique, I was reminded of why Jen was drooling over him, or why Saucy was trying her best to get into his pants. I could tell he was also gifted in that department.God, this is awkward!I swallowed hard as I gathered composure and found the strength to speak without squeaking. “G-good morning,” I said in a weak voice, my eyes still glued to the abs he was displaying in front of me. My glance started drifting lower to his belly button and then—“Dude, you okay?” he interrupted, prompting me to look up to where his eyes were.Shit! What was that?I shook myself back to reality. “Wha
Nicholas led me inside the diner. I didn’t know what I was expecting. The usual maybe. Stool chairs and a counter where they fry the burgers and the fries, checkboard design flooring, stainless steel tables and leather seats by the window, people still dressed in the clothes they wore the night before, much like myself. However, when I stepped inside the diner, I was pleasantly surprised.The smell of homemade muffins filled my nostrils. I was reminded of my mother’s kitchen when I was a child. An upbeat music was blasting through the speakers. The floor was rather made of shiny, dark brown wood. The wooden tables and wooden chairs were occupied by patrons within the range of forty-five to sixty. Lively abstract paintings adorned the walls and the ceiling had red, brown and white lamps.The man frying the burgers by the counter looked to be about sixty years old, and so were the cashier, waiters and waitresses. There were also little people working as waiters and waitresses.I was im
Margaret came to our table. “How do you find the food, dear?”I smiled widely at her. “I haven’t eaten food this good in a long time.” That was not a lie. The food I ate had all the goodness of a homemade breakfast. I can cook but since I live with my father, I limit my whereabouts to just my room and the gate. I only venture to the other parts of the house, such as the kitchen, when he’s out of the country. “I like your place. I wonder why I never went here before.”“Well, we barely get visitors from the main city. Most of our customers are just passing through. And we try our best to provide them with the feeling of home and the goodness of homemade food.” She noticed my shirt. “I see you found our bathroom.”I nodded. “It’s brilliant! What you did in there was absolutely amazing.”“Well, it was all Nick’s idea.”I blinked back in surprise. “What do you mean?”“He was the one who gave us the idea to turn this diner into something it is now. We’ve been running this joint for generati
I knew it was the carrot-top kid again, who called me a pussy.I was aware that I was not in the right side of town and this was not my territory. But I felt my blood run up my head and I didn’t hesitate to turn around and walk back to the group of juveniles who had clearly underestimated me.“If I beat your ass, you’ll do my every bidding for a week, you understand?” I said crossly, darting my glance to the boy with red hair and pale, freckled face.He was shocked for a moment but then he smiled at me widely. “Sure. But be warned. Nicholas plays on my team and he’s pretty good. You, on the other hand… not sure your pretty fingers can even hold the ball for five seconds,” he shot back. He turned to the rest of the group, giving me no chance to smack his face.Good! I play better when I’m pissed off.Nicholas stood beside me. When I looked at him, he was shaking his head. “Now, you’re in big trouble,” he said.“Why is that?”“Because you’re playing against me and I don’t like to lose.”
Of course! Nicholas Atkins is hot meat for most girls.This girl looked pretty and sexy—in a respectable kind of way. Unlike Saucy, who had a big neon sign on her forehead that spelled a four-letter word, starting with an ‘s’ and ending with a ‘t.’“She’s hot,” I whispered under my breath.Nicholas glanced over at the girl again, who was still looking at him.“I guess,” he said.“Not your type?”He stared at me for a long moment. I didn’t know what he was thinking but somehow, when he studied my face, he looked thoughtful. Then he sighed and looked away from me. “I must be out of my mind.”I raised a brow at him, not quite sure what he meant by that, but he looked genuinely uninterested in the hot chick across the court.Music blasted from the elevated space in the corner of the court. I noticed they had made a stage out of it. There was a drum kit, some guitars and other musical instruments.“They teach these kids how to play music here sometimes. There’s also a hip-hop dance club th
I overslept the next day. I realized that the alarm in my phone didn’t sound off because I didn’t even have my phone with me. I tried looking for it in every corner of my room but it wasn’t there. Finally, I decided to check my car.To my surprise, the object of my disturbing dreams last night was standing by his car in front of my gate.My heart pounded in my chest.What the fuck? I have never felt this nervous in my life before.What the hell is wrong with me today?“Good morning,” Nicholas greeted chirpily.“What the heck are you doing here?” I asked, trying my best to look annoyed.He shrugged and handed me a familiar purple object. It was my phone.“You dropped it in my jeep,” he explained.I snatched the phone from him.“Whatever,” I murmured.I quickly got in my car and sped to school without a word.I could not remember what my dream was about. All I knew was that Nicholas Atkins had the starring role in it. Maybe it was a horror flick with a “Texas Chainsaw” theme where I sp
Six months later, I graduated from the culinary school and became Austin’s sous-chef. I was getting excellent training from him, and the great thing about that was I didn’t feel like I was working at all. Every day was an adventure for me. Every moment was like play time. I was inventing my own fusions and Austin had considered including them in his official menu. Nick comes to New York at least three times a month. Whenever he had the chance to get away from work, he would come to me. And every time I spent with him was pure bliss, pure treasure. I have never been happier in my life. My happiness didn’t come without a price. I thought now that everything was going quite well in my life, I should let go of all the pain and anger I may still be harboring. There would no happiness without forgiveness, without healing. And to start with that, I forgave my father. The day after my graduation, I flew back to Salt Lake City to visit his grave. Nick went with me. I stared at the words on
I didn’t know how long I slept or how I got home. But when I opened my eyes, it was already morning. I realized I wasn’t lying down on the ground by the beach where I last remembered I was. Instead, a down feather duvet kept me warm as I lay comfortably on a firm mattress. The pillows, duvet, and bed covers were all white, matching the eggshell paint on the walls.At first, I thought I was in a hospital, but then I realized the bed I was in was far too comfortable and a lot wider than a hospital bed. Something about the room I was in was very familiar, as if I’ve been here plenty of times before.The next thing I realized was that I was completely naked under the sheets. I felt tired, as though I went through a rigid exercise regimen the night before. Apart from that, I was feeling a little sore there, too, in my most private part. Shit!Suddenly, I felt movement behind me. An arm draped over my waist and I felt warm kisses on my neck.I panicked!I was with a guy! I was naked! We ha
Ken“Ma’am, are you okay? Ma’am, can you hear me?”“Should we call the police?”I slowly opened my eyes and found the girl in Margaret’s diner and another guy looking at me with worried expressions on their faces. I looked around. I realized I was seated in the driver’s seat of my car, with the seat inclined. The girl was sitting on the passenger seat, holding up a small bottle of mint balm and the guy was kneeling by my car door.“What happened?” I asked, sitting up.“You fainted,” the guy said to me. “You’re lucky I was passing by when you dropped your phone and passed out. I caught you before you could hit your head. I called for help. Are you okay?”I nodded. “Th—thanks.”“Do you want to go to the hospital?” the girl asked.I shook my head. “I’ll be… I’ll be okay.”“Well, I found these on the ground,” the guy said. He handed me the pieces of my phone. “I think you’re gonna need to buy a new one.”He was right. The phone was broken that I doubt any service center could still put it
Nick.I wasn’t able to react immediately. I took a couple of hits before I came to my senses and docked and thwarted all her assaults. It took a while to convince her that maybe she was just late. I offered to get her a pregnancy kit just so she could be sure.I waited days for her to tell me that the tests came back negative, as I was sure they would be. I was positive I never touched her. How could I? I spent most of the night staring at her, watching her sleep. I was in love with her. When I do make love to her, I want her to want it, too. I wanted her to remember me. I wanted to be different from the others she had been with.I called her several times, but she was completely ignoring me. I was beginning to get worried. I realized, too, that since I backed out on my deal with her father, he would no doubt employ somebody else to charm her, woo her. Try to succeed where I failed. Well, I haven’t failed yet. In fact, I was only just starting. There were some things that I wanted to
Nick.I went inside the Rhythemes. This was new. The last time I was in town, this joint wasn’t here, not that it would make much of a difference to me anyway. I was not the type to frequent bars or go to one out of boredom. I didn’t fancy sitting at the bar, watching sex-hungry predators pick up their latest clueless prey.I would rather go to a card house. At least there, I could exercise my brains and make money out of it. No, I’m not a gambling addict. I just happened to be gifted at it. Am I counting cards? Well, where was the fun if you use mathematical equations and probabilities? But desperate times call for desperate measures.When I came back to the States, I had no family left to go to. My father was gone, leaving me with the only property he could afford. The house he left behind was too shabby and major repairs had to be done. I didn’t have enough money to build my dream house. But I couldn’t leave my father’s legacy looking like a shithole. I did what I had to do. In a y
“So, how are you doing?” I asked Brett when he visited me in New York. We were up having beer on the rooftop.“I’m fine,” he said, but his tone was not so convincing. I raised a brow at him. “By that, I mean I’m surviving information overload, trial by fire, meeting up with more people in a month than I ever did in my entire life, and trying to become the great Robert Clarke in approximately two hundred and fifty-five days. I’m losing my bachelor years too fast, but yeah, I’m all right.”I reached out and squeezed his hand. “I’m sorry. It could have been me, you know.”He nodded. “Yeah. You could have been in my shoes. But the thing is, I never dreamed of becoming a chef. I’ve always wanted to be a businessman. I can’t force this fate on you, too. It’s just things are happening too fast, too soon.”“Don’t worry, Brett. You’ll do great. Soon, you’ll be in Forbes magazine as one of the youngest, most successful CEOs in the country. It’s written in your stars. You were brilliant in schoo
Kitten,It had been six months, ten days, three hours and thirty-three minutes. I’m still waiting. Told you I would. Although I hope you never get tired of reading my letters. I will never get tired of writing them—until my last breath, remember?Brett wouldn’t tell me where you are but assured me you were okay. Right now, there is nothing more I wanted to do but to come to you. Nope, I won’t even hug you if you don’t want me to. I just want to make sure you’re okay, make you feel that everything is going to be all right. You’re not alone. You will never be.I love you, kitten.Tears were rolling down my cheeks when I read Nick’s latest letter. Brett comes to New York to check up on me once a month. He brought a bunch of letters and trinkets from Nick since he didn’t know about my new address.Nick was true to his word. He would not stop writing to me. He already said he was sorry. He gave me all the explanations in the world. He’d given me time to process and find it in my heart to
After that, everything was a blur. I felt as if I was floating like a zombie the past few days. I didn’t get much sleep, and it was as if I had matured ten years in a span of ten days. I suddenly needed to handle adult stuff that I wasn’t ready for: meeting with the police, talking to lawyers, and handling a funeral.Things happened quickly. And since an investigation was ongoing, and my father’s company was publicly listed, news of his death would hurt the company and, according to my uncle, my inheritance. He chose to have everything hushed. The funeral was opened only to blood relatives and there was no coverage on the media about it. We were also instructed not to talk to anybody without consulting with our lawyers first.The worst part of it all, I couldn’t talk to anyone about how I was feeling. No matter how bad my relationship with my father was, no matter what a madman I thought he was, he was still my father. And it was never easy losing a parent. Up until now, a part of me
I wish I could say that I was back in Nick’s house and in his life after twenty-four hours. I wish I could say we were back in each other’s arms within a week and that he proposed to me a month after. I wish I didn’t leave, and my life would have been a complete bliss. Nick would have taken care of me and we would have lived a simple but happy life. That would have been how I wanted my story with Nick to end.But life wasn’t always that simple, and it certainly was never easy. And just when you thought you got it all figured out, life throws you out of balance again.Two months. Twenty-eight days. Fourteen hours. Twenty-five minutes.That was how long it had been since I left Nick’s house. That was how long since I last saw him, since I last had a conversation with him.He calls. Every day. Sometimes more than once a day. He also sends me text messages at least three times a day: to say good morning, to remind me about lunch, and then to say good night.He writes, too. The longhand l