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Shame and Guilt
Last Updated:
2024-12-21 08:10:47
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GraceHe wraps his arms around my knees and looks up at me, hoping for me to pick him up. He was gone for so long.I reach out with shaking hands and pick him up. He presses his face into my neck before I hear him sobbing against me. My knees give out from under me, making me drop in the middle of the lounge. His cries grow louder.I pat his back weakly, my eyes burning but no tears welling in them. He continues to cry for a long time—or maybe it feels like that for me because my arms have gone numb.“ Seb, don’t cry. Be a good boy. Don’t make your Mommy worry about you anymore. ” Mom steps closer and caresses the back of Seb’s head.He pulls his head out of my neck and stares at me with his wet, round eyes. It’s like someone has gripped my heart, refusing to let it go.“ Are you…worrying, Mommy? ” He murmurs, grabbing my cheeks in his small hands.I shake my head, like a robot who has no feelings but only knows how to respond. “ I am fine, Mommy. See. ” He shakes my cheeks as if tr
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Grace“ There are no traces of drugs in your system. ” Doctor Yvonne Smith, who is a woman in her 30s, sighs as she hands me the results.They have done everything as fast as possible, but now the results have come out opposite of what I was expecting.I stare at the report, and another suspicion starts growing. What if Ethan has bribed these people, and I am being an idiot for believing this?“ And about the other thing, we can’t really be sure, Mrs. Roberto. You were taking a shower for so long, and there are no clear signs of penetration. It can be because you had gentle consensual intercourse, or it can be because you didn’t have any intercourse at all. There is no way to tell. ” She continues in her professional voice that’s tinged with a hint of sympathy. I stare at the paper in my hands, going over every line several times as if searching for something that will confirm my doubts and not go completely against it instead.When Mom and the servants found me in the bathroom, I fe
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GraceIt’s fine to see Tristin’s face, but what are those intense emotions?Ethan has moved on. Or that’s what he desperately wants me to believe. So why did he have that look in his eyes?I throw away the blankets and get out of bed. As I am passing by the mirror beside the door, I pause and look into it.There are scratches all over my neck—injuries I have caused myself. I brush my fingers against a long line before smiling at myself.A few weeks ago, when I cut my finger while trying to make apple pie, Tristin made a terrible fuss over it. He had stayed home for the whole day to look after a small cut—something I have found so extra on his part.But now that I am covered in scratches, he won’t come. I swallow as my gaze drifts higher to the bandage on my forehead. He knows…what Ethan has done to me. There is no way I can ever…sleep with Ethan in my right mind or anyone who is not Tristin, for a matter of fact.And yet, Tristin didn’t…give me the benefit of the doubt. Not even once
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Grace“ I don’t know what you are talking about, Mrs. Roberto. ” Luca says, bringing my attention back to him.“ Do you expect me to believe Tristin has abandoned his old ways completely just to appease me? Or do you think I am blind and deaf? Or maybe…do you think I don’t know about the people you and Tristin tortured in the past few days just to find Sebastian? ” I scoff, my eyes beginning to burn.Luca’s brows lift as he stares at me. I can see the wheels turning in his head.“ I will have to ask Boss before I— ”“ Make sure to tell him that I will go alone if he tries to come in my way. If he can’t even pretend to trust me a little, then he might as well not try to act as my husband again. He can stay with that secretary he likes these days. ” I snap, get to my feet again, and start walking away from him. “ when you are done with your usual thing, get that old man. I expect him here in a few hours. ”“ Boss is not with any secretary. He is cleaning up the mess you created, Mrs. Ro
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GraceThe flashes of cameras explode around me. I sit still, my hands folded neatly in my lap, my back straight against the chair, though every muscle in my body feels stiff. The reporters fidget in their seats, their murmurs rising in volume as they hurl questions at me.“ Mrs. Roberto, what are you about to address today? ”“ Do you condone your husband’s alleged actions against Mrs. Alfonso? ”“As a woman, how do you feel about these accusations? ”Their words are sharp, but their eyes and the flashes of cameras are sharper. They have no idea how heavy the weight of this moment is. I glance at the clock on the wall, waiting patiently for what’s to come. I don’t particularly feel anything about this whole mess. I just feel…cold, numb. “You will know everything in due time… ” I reply, my voice steady. “ But first, let me set the record straight. Mona Alfonso’s initial altercation was not with Tristin Roberto. It was with me. She had a discord with me. ”The room falls silent for a
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GraceHer face drains of color. She opens her mouth to protest, but no words come out. The air seems to freeze around us as her eyes flicker to the door. Oh. She is waiting for someone. “ This is absurd! ” She whispers, her voice cracking with desperation.“ How is this absurd? ” I ask, my eyes going round. “ I am curious because you and I fought before and then you suddenly started accusing my husband of abusing you the next day. I am sure everyone who is seeing you is equally curious right now. ”“ I have never had any discord with you. Why are you lying, Mrs. Roberto. ” She sniffles, her voice lowering, but hidden to everyone, I can see the smug gleam in her eyes. “ Think again, Mona… ” I urge. Then, I let the silence stretch out, watching her squirm under the pressure. “ I have never had any discord with you, Mrs. Roberto. Please stop— ”“ Let’s jog your memory a little. ” My smile widens. I gesture toward the screen to my right, and a video begins to play. “ The cameras in C
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GraceMona’s face pales, her hands trembling as she stands frozen. She knows what’s coming.Daniel’s voice grows colder. “ She doesn’t just hurt men like me. She traps them. She uses them. She tells them what to do, and when they refuse, she accuses them of things they never did. She ruins their reputations. She ruins their lives. And now, she is trying to do it to Tristin Roberto. ”The cameras continue to flash, capturing every moment, every word.“ You are lying. Daniel, why are you doing this to me? ” Mona tries to grab attention but fail when the reporters keep their focus on her husband instead. Daniel continues, his face grim. “ I overheard her talking on the phone not long ago. She told someone that she went to Tristin Roberto, tried to force herself on him. When he refused her advances, she hurt herself. Hit herself, several times. And then she threatened him—if he didn’t make his wife give up the CBA project, she would destroy him. And now, she is accusing him, all because
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GraceThe moment I see Tristin staring at me, I freeze. Everything else blurs out—the noise, the cameras, the people. It’s just him, looking at me like I am some stranger, and I can’t stand it. His eyes are cold, detached, like he has already decided I am not worth it.I feel something break inside me. That damn wall I have spent hours building to keep myself sane? Gone. Just like that. Just with one cold look from him, I start asking myself questions again, and I start recalling everything AGAIN.He is not asking me anything. He is not blaming me, fighting with me, or trying to hate me. Is this a normal reaction?Is this how husbands are supposed to react? Are they just supposed to decide their wife has become a stranger overnight?Even now, when I am standing here with my life falling apart and Ethan’s fingerprints all over it, Tristin doesn’t bother. Instead, he just looks at me like I am the one who has failed him.It’s pathetic how much that hurts.My throat tightens, but I sw
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GraceA moment of silence falls between us. It’s suffocating and heavy.“ Because…if I had told you, you would have asked me to accept that boy into the family. ” Tristin answers in a quiet voice. “ What? Why?! That boy—he…he is your child too. Why— ”“ Unlike Mom, I don’t believe Serena to be a saint. She will use that boy to stir up trouble. Besides, if he stays, he will hold the position of the firstborn son in this family. Did I not tell you before, Grace? The Robertos only care about the son who is born first, and not about those who come after. ”I stammer. “ That’s—we can— ”But he cuts me off harshly. “ You and I…can try to balance things, but…once the extended family gets involved, it will be more business than emotions. First, he will take Seb’s name, then everything else that belongs to him. Our son, no matter how little he is…knows he is the future of this family. I am sure Mom has fed this to him with every meal he shared with her before. Now, do you want to tell him wh
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GraceI shouldn’t have doubted Tristin’s determination to frustrate me. He has been sitting in the same spot for hours, watching me with an intensity that leaves me squirming.Eventually, I turn my back to him and pull the duvet to my neck, choosing to glare at the other wall. But the heat of his gaze makes it impossible for me to have even a moment of rest.While we both remain stubborn in our places, the veil of anger starts to lift slowly. I have accused him of knowing about Serena all along and not telling me…But…Can Tristin really deceive me from the start? It’s a strange question, one that I wouldn’t have even bothered to ask myself until a month ago.But everything has become messed up in our lives.“ I didn’t know about her. When you told me you wanted me to fire her, that’s when I wanted to know why you were so adamant about it. That’s also when I found out that she provoked you. I wanted to confront her, but she revealed the secret and caught me off guard. I am not…lying
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Grace“ Wait— ” I hiss quickly, stepping closer to Tristin to squeeze some space for myself. “ Tell Mom to come here and—”Before I can finish, the door slams shut. I let out a scream of frustration just as Tristin’s arm wraps around my waist. A startled gasp escapes me as he lifts me off the floor and carries me to the bed easily. “ Tristin, put me down! ” I thrash against him, but his grip is unyielding.He presses me down onto the mattress and hoves above me, leaving me no room for escape. “ Do not act like I am holding you hostage… ” He mutters, his voice returning to the soft note he has reserved for me. “ We are just having a couple’s fight. ”Is he being serious?!I laugh bitterly. “ This is not a couple’s fight, Tristin. When Mom comes, I am leaving, and you will never see my face again. I will make sure of that. Never! ”His jaw tightens as I smirk. I think I have won. But then, in one swift motion, Tristin flips me onto my stomach and yanks my zipper down. My breath cat
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GraceI sit stiffly in the wing chair, my arms crossed across my chest and my glare fixed on Tristin. He stands by the locked door, his back against the wall, looking calm—too calm. He has lost his mind. That is the only explanation for this whole thing. I scoff. He cannot stay here forever. That bitch is in the house, and sooner or later, he will have to leave. I tell myself that is why I am so composed right now—because I want to see how long he can keep this up. But deep down, I know the real reason.When I saw Serena here, a dark thought crept into my mind. Maybe another woman had given him a family. Maybe he did not need me anymore. And that thought nearly shattered my heart into pieces.Before I can dwell on it, my phone rings. I glance down, and a frown etches between my brows.Why didn’t I think about calling someone? I reach for my phone and see Talia’s name shining on the screen. Before I can answer the call, Tristin’s shadow looms over me. Not even giving me the chanc
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TristinI watch as Grace pushes against my chest, forcing distance between us. The fire in her eyes is like nothing I have ever seen before—not directed at me. Not like this.Her words echo through my head. ‘ We are done here. I am leaving. And you can't stop me. ’I can’t breathe.She turns away from me and grabs her packed suitcase. I want to say so much more, but no words come out of my mouth.She leaves me standing there and moves toward the door without hesitation. I should let her go. I should step back and give her space. I should fix this in a way that doesn’t involve desperate measures.But right now…This doesn’t feel like something that can be handled by giving her space. She looks like if she leaves, she won’t return and will never talk to me again. Panic surges through me like wildfire. My body moves on its own, faster than my mind can process, and before she can even reach the handle, I slam the door shut.Click.The sound of the lock twisting into place is deafening.
Chased by my Ex Husband Leaving
GraceI finish packing Sebastian’s things and glance at the bed, my chest tightening when I see him curled up. He fell asleep when he saw me packing for too long. His tiny fingers clutch the edge of the blanket, his breathing soft and even. He looks so peaceful. For a moment, my heart wavers. He loves his Daddy so much. How will he live away from him? I walk towards him and press a gentle kiss to his forehead, lingering for a second longer than intended.If we stay, my son will get more hurt when he realizes he has a brother who shares the same name with him.I straighten up and call the nanny over. She comes rushing and stands by my side. “ Stay with him… ” I say, my voice quieter than usual. “ Don’t leave him alone until I come back. ”She nods, and I force myself to walk away.When I reach my room, I head straight to the walk-in closet and pull out my suitcases. This time, I pack my own things. My fingers move automatically, folding clothes and stuffing them into the bag. I fe
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Grace“ Whose child is that? ” I question.An eerie silence falls in the space. Looks are exchanged. Heavy breaths are released.The question must be too hard to answer even if it is so clear. I look into the child’s blue eyes and don’t look away. He stays rigid on his spot, never wavering, even under my penetrating gaze. “ What is your name? ” I find myself asking when the silence stretches for too long.A frown forms between the child’s brows, and he replies without hesitation. “ Sebastian. ”My breath hitches, my chest tightening as if the air has thickened around me. My fingers tremble slightly at my sides, and I curl them into fists to stop the shaking.Sebastian. My son’s name. A dizzying wave of nausea rolls over me, tightening its grip on my lungs. I can barely breathe.I swallow hard, my throat dry, and my heart pounding in my chest.“ Sebastian… ” I whisper, the name foreign on my tongue even though I have said it a thousand times before.The boy tilts his head slightly,
Chased by my Ex Husband Whose Child is That
GraceTristin underestimates my understanding of him.I know when he is lying. And when he said that ‘no’, he was clearly, desperately trying to make me believe that there is nothing he is hiding from me. But everything I wanted to know was written right on his face.The question is…Will I ask him that question again? No. I gave him a chance. He didn’t take it.Now, I need to find out everything in my own way. As he tells me that we will go home together and that he just has one meeting to attend, I nod and tell him that I will wait for him.After he leaves, I take out my phone and see the contact information Talia has sent to me—the private detective.Her Aunt has already told the detective about me. So, I click a picture of Serena from the photographs and sent it to him with her name.A message appears on the screen, asking me about what kind of information I seek.I stare at the screen for a moment. What do I want to know? Her connection with Ethan or why Tristin looks so uncomfo
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Tristin“ Leave, Luca. Do what I said. I want them gone. Tonight. ” I tell Luca while keeping my eyes on her.“ Yes, Boss. ” Luca hurries out and moves past her.Grace walks inside once he has left and closes the door behind her. I straighten up, my gaze flickering to her fingers that are turning white around the envelope she is gripping too tight.“ What is this? ” Grace’s voice stays low as she comes to stand on the spot where Luca sat moments ago.“ What? ” I blink calmly.Her hands shake as she rips the envelope open and takes out some pictures. Before I can open my mouth, she throws the pictures towards me.They fly across the space and hit my chest before dropping on the desk. Instinctively, my hands clench into fists, and my jaw grits. She is rightfully angry—I reason with myself. But a voice inside me keeps whispering…I have seen her in a more compromising position. But I have not reacted this way. I look down at the pictures. Just like I thought…That bitch kneeled between
