CHAPTER 5

BULLETS of sweat ran from my temple down to my face and neck and stopped in the deep canal between my breasts. I closed my eyes tightly and held my tears from falling. Ang sakit na nanunuot sa aking balat mula sa hampas ng latigo ay nagbigay ng kakaibang sensasyon sa sistema ko. Like the pain from the hard stroke he was given, it gave me pleasure, and I couldn't help myself but moan and bite my lower lip as it bled.

Wala namang tugtog, pero para bang may sensual na musika akong naririnig at sinasabayan iyon ng marahang pag-indayog ng katawan ko.

Nakakatawa dahil kahit nakaluhod at nakagapos ang dalawang kamay sa mahabang kadenang nakakabit sa ceiling, na para bang sadyang ginawa para talaga roon, ay nagawa kong sumayaw pa rin at igiling ang bewang.

The funny thing was that I didn't know how to dance, but it looked like I was good at it.

"H-Harder, please," I moaned, and I couldn't recognize myself at the tone of my voice.

Rinig ko ang malakas na paglagatik ng latigo sa balat ko. Napatingala ako sa sarap na naibigay niyon.

"You want that harder, babe?" he asked hoarsely, his tongue brushing against my earlobe.

My breathing hitched. Masakit. But I wanted more, and I didn't know what was happening to me.

"Y-Yes, please..."

I opened my eyes when I felt the soft thing rub against my lips. Kulay itim ang mahaba at matabang bagay na iyon. And it looked like an eggplant.

"Ysa. Hm, Ysa." His cold and playful voice sent music to my ears.

I didn't know this guy, but it seems he knows me better than I do.

"I want more," I moaned.

He chuckled deeply in my ear as he pressed hardily that soft thing on my entrance.

Napabangon ako mula sa pagkakahiga sa malambot na kama. Malakas ang pagtibok ng puso ko at halos maligo rin ako sa sariling pawis. The room was air-conditioned, but my dream— no, it was more like a nightmare —felt like it was real. Damang dama ko ang bawat paghagupit ng latigo sa balat ko. But the weird thing was that I was not in pain; I was actually pleasured.

Napapikit ako.

Napamulat din agad nang sumilip sa isip ko ang kung anong nangyari kagabi.

Napakurap ako.

I had a blind date last night. Para patunayan kay Tiya Flor na hindi ko kailangan ng lalaki sa buhay ko, pumayag ako at last. But as I expected, that date became a failure. My date already had a relationship and was there because he wanted to sleep with me.

Slept with me.

Well, it's better that I already knew about it early.

Kaagad kong inilibot ang paningin ko sa buong silid.

The room was a bit familiar. It had the same design as my room, but I was so sure that this wasn't mine. Wala ang kurtinang kulay rosas sa bintana ko. At sa pagkakaalala ko, hindi pa ako nakakapagpalit ng kurtina isang linggong na ang nakararaan.

Halos walang gamit din sa loob ng kuwarto, maliban sa mga librong nagkalat sa ibabaw ng hanggang bewang na bookshelf. Halata iyon na nag-aayos pa lamang ang kung sinong may-ari ng silid na ito.

But... where am I?

Pinikit ko ang mga mata ko at inalala ang mga nangyari kagabi. Matapos kong hindi sadyang marinig ang pag-uusap ng ka-date ko nang gabing iyon at ng kaibigan nito, I ran. I ran. I ran with a stranger!

Napamulat muli ako at damang dama ko ang paglaki ng mga mata ko. With an urgent feeling, I probed my body under the thick comforter and checked if I still had my dress. Well, I am still dressed. I still have my green cocktail dress and my undergarments. Maliban na lang sa silver high-heeled sandals ko na ngayon ay nakakalat sa sahig malapit sa may pintuan.

A sigh of relief escaped my mouth.

After calming myself, tumayo na ako at umalis nang tuluyan sa kama. Well, this room was a mess. Kung sinong nagmamay-ari man nito, malaki ang problema niya. Because if I were in a room like this, surely I couldn't get any peace of mind. Uubusin ko talaga ang oras ko para mag-ayos kaysa hayaang nakatewang-wang lang ang mga gamit ko sa kung saan.

Matapos kong kunin at isuot ang sandals ko, handa ko na sanang lisanin ang silid nang matigilan ako. Hawak ko na ang malamig na handle ng pintuan nang mahagip ko ang isang picture frame na nakalapag sa sahig. Nasa may baba iyon ng bookshelf at kaagad mapapansin.

Out of curiosity, I let go of the doorknob and walked towards the shelf. Kaagad akong lumuhod at pinulot ang picture frame. A smile crept onto my lips as I watched the photograph of a little boy hugging a woman in her mid-20s. Surely, it was his mother. Mabuti pa siya may litrato kasama ang mama niya.

Napabuntong-hininga ako. Tumayo ako at inayos ang picture frame sa ibabaw ng bookshelf. Ang ganitong magandang memory, dapat iniingatan. Hindi lang hinahayaan sa sahig.

The door creaked and opened. Kaagad akong nanigas sa kinaluluhudan nang maramdaman ko ang presensya ng tao sa likuran ko.

"Hey, are you awake?"

"Ysa. Hm, Ysa."

That voice!

Dahan-dahan, nilingon ko ang lalaki. And my eyes grew bigger even if I already expected that I was with him. He was in his khaki shorts and black T-shirt. He looked so hot and handsome, but I couldn't appreciate it because of the loud bang inside my chest. Siya itong naaalala kong kasama ko matapos akong iwan ng ka-date ko kagabi.

Did he save me from that rascal?

Oo, Ysa.

Pero mas lalong nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang maalala ko kung anong nangyari sa amin kagabi. Was it a dream, right? Hindi nangyari 'yon, 'di ba?

But my cheeks burned as I completely remembered what happened last night.

"I want you... I want you to wreck me."

"I cooked breakfast—"

Nagmamadali, tumayo ako at kumaripas palabas ng silid.

"Wait, Ysa!" he called.

Pero hindi ko siya pinakinggan at tumuloy lang ako sa paglabas ng unit niya. To my surprise, though, paglabas ko nang pintuan ay kaagad bumungad sa akin ang pamilyar na pasilyo.

The room I was in a few seconds ago was the one next to mine.

"Miss Ysa!" I heard the strange guy near his door. Kaya mabilis akong pumasok sa loob ng unit ko.

He's...

He's...

My neighbor?

Kaagad akong napailing habang ang mga mata'y mariin na nakapikit. This isn't happening, Ysa! Kaloka!

Forgetting what crazy thing happened to me, inasikaso ko ang sarili sa pagpasok sa SEI. It was Saturday. Kadalasan, hindi ako pumapasok pagganitong araw dahil wala rin si Mr. Sandoval sa opisina. He always spends Saturday and Sunday with his partner. Yes, partner. I am aware that Mr. Sandoval had a wife before he met his partner today.

Hindi ko nga lang nakikita pa kahit isa sa mga naging asawa niya. Wala rin kasing picture na naka-display sa opisina ni Mr. Sandoval alin man sa dalawang babae.

They were really a private family. Kahit kasi picture ng anak nito, wala rin. Even searching on the internet was useless. Wala ka kasing mahahanap na article tungkol sa pamilya nila except for Mr. Sandoval himself.

I wore my black jeans and a ruffled pink crop top. High waist naman ang pantalon ko kaya natakpan ang tiyan ko. Not that we have a dress code inside the SEI, I just want to maintain my good reputation here.

A virgin Mary Ysa.

NBSB girl.

Duh.

Nasa loob na ako ng elevator at abala sa pagbabasa ng schedule ngayong araw. Today was the award ceremony for the best employee of the month. Hindi na ako nag-abala pang mag-ayos dahil late na ako masiyado. I just let my long, straight black hair fall behind my back, put a little powder on my face, and wiped a red lipstick on my lips.

Pagbukas ng elevator sa second floor ay kaagad kong natanaw ang masamang tingin ni Mrs. Ambros sa akin.

I still gave her a bright smile, though.

"Good morning," I greeted her as I walked toward the coffee brewer. Nasa kabilang parte niya iyon at sa kaliwa niya naman ay ang parihabang lamesa.

She just sipped on her coffee, walked, and entered the elevator.

I just shrugged my shoulders as I made my coffee. What's her problem? Bad mood?

"HB si Mrs. Ambros," rinig kong sabi ng paparating.

"Papaanong hindi maha-highblood si Mrs. Ambros? Kung sa akin din nangyari 'yon, sasabubutan ko talaga ang bruha na 'yon!" It was Murky's irritated chicken voice.

"Ano sa tingin ninyo, guys? Did she do it on... purpose?"

Humina ang boses ni Monica nang marating nila ang pantry at mapunta ang mga mata nila sa may countertop kung nasaan ang coffee brewer at ako.

"Good morning," I greeted them with a bright smile.

Mari, Shiela, and Monica smiled at me as they went to the sink for their cups. I could see the awkwardness in their faces, though. Lalo na sa bulgar na pagsinghal ni Murky. Am I their topic again? What did I do this time?

Kahit gusto mang magtanong kung sino ang pinag-uusapan nila ay hindi ko ginawa.

I looked at them while stirring my black coffee. Naabutan ko silang nakatingin din sa akin, pero kaagad silang nag-iwas at palihim na nagbulungan.

I gulped. "Dumating na ba ang anak ni Mr. Sandoval?"

Shiela looked at me after she got into the coffee brewer. "Wala pa."

Napatango ako. I expected it, though. Sa sinabi pa lang ni Mr. Sandoval kung anong klase ang anak niya, inasahan ko nang mangyayari ito.

Lumapit si Monica at Mari sa kinaroroonan ni Shiela, habang si Murky ay nanatili sa may sink at naghugas ng kamay.

I smiled at them again when I caught them secretly glancing at me. "Sige. Mauna na ako. Hihintayin ko na lang siya sa taas."

I excused myself. Pero bago pa man ako makaalis nang tuluyan sa pantry, Shiela spoke.

"Ahm, Ysa..."

Bumaling ako sa kanya. Lumakad siya sa may mesa at inilapag ang tasa niya sa ibabaw. "Bakit?"

"Wala ka talagang idea kung sino ang best employee of the month?" She cleared her throat and sat down in the chair. "I mean... Hindi man lang ba nabanggit ni Sir kahapon bago ka mag-out?"

Napalunok ako. Monica and Mari walked towards the table, and they joined Shiela. I saw the excitement on their faces. Doon ko lang napansin na bihis na bihis sila. If it was a natural day, they would be wearing jeans and a plain T-shirt and putting a cardigan or a coat beneath. But today, they were in a dress. Well, maliban kay Murky na naka-usual attire lang.

Umiling ako. "Wala siyang nasabi, eh."

Murky hissed as he went to the washroom. Malapit iyon sa may sink kaya rinig na rinig ang pagsinghal niya sa sinabi ko.

"Ah, ganoon ba?" si Mari.

I smiled at her and nodded as if I didn't hear her badmouthing me yesterday.

"Pero 'di ka a-attend ng ceremony?" Monica looked at me from head to toe. "Hindi ka kasi nakaayos. 'Wag kang ma-offend, pero ni minsan hindi pa kita nakitang pumasok nang naka pantalon lang."

"I have my plans today. Aside sa kailangan kong i-tour ang anak ni Mr. Sandoval, may pinapagawa rin siya sa akin," sagot ko nang nakangiti.

"Ah." Napatango-tango sila.

"Sige. I need to go," paalam ko nang lumabas na si Murky sa banyo.

They just gave me a smile before I turned my back on them. Pero halata naman na pilit. Alam ko may masama na naman silang masasabi sa kung anong pinapagawa ni Mr. Sandoval sa akin. And I will bet that Murky will be the first to say bad words to me.

Hinayaan ko na lang at umakyat na ako sa sixty-sixth floor. Nang marating ang working spot ay kaagad kong ipinatong sa malinis kong mesa ang tasa at ang bag ko sa upuan. I checked on Mr. Sandoval's son inside his office. Pero tulad nang sinabi ni Shiela, mukha ngang wala pa ang lalaki.

Hindi kaya'y hindi 'yon papasok?

I scoffed as I closed the door of Mr. Sandoval's office. How irresponsible! Tsk!

Bumalik ako sa table ko at pinagkaabalahan ang kape. Nag-check na rin ako ng mga papeles na nasa ilalim ng table ko. Hindi naman iyon mga urgent papers, kaya ayos lang kung hindi muna asikasuhin.

My phone beeped and vibrated.

Kinuha ko iyon sa loob ng handbag ko at binuksan ang text messages.

Blind Date:

Are you okay? Did you get home safely? Sorry. I hope nothing's gone wrong for you with that man.

Kumunot ang noo ko sa nabasa at nag-type ng reply.

Me:

I'm fine. What do you mean nothing wrong would happen to me?

Kaagad naman siyang nag-reply.

Blind Date:

Was there really nothing bad that happened to you?

Me:

Wala naman.

Blind Date:

Thank God. Sorry. I purposely wanted to bed you. The orange juice you've drunk, I put Viagra in it.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko at nabitiwan ang phone. Bumagsak iyon sa hita ko.

Viagra?

He did— what?

Pilit kong inalala ang nangyari at naramdaman ko kagabi. At kaagad kong natutop ang bibig nang mapagtanto ang lahat. Iyong kakaibang init na nararamdaman ko nang gabing iyon, dahil iyon sa ininom ko?

Napasabunot ako sa sariling buhok lalo na nang maalala ang kung anong nangyari sa amin ng kasama ko kagabi sa loob ng kuwartong iyon.

"I want you..."

"I want to taste you..."

"Hindi. Hindi. Hindi," sabi ko, pilit itinatangi ang boses na naririnig ko sa isip.

"Wreck me—"

"Hindi!" Napatayo ako. Those words came out of my mouth. Damn, Ysa! What have you done?!

"Ysa? Okay ka lang?" a woman asked.

Napakurap ako at napatingin sa may elevator. It was Shiela. She walked toward me like she was really worried about me. But I know she's now calling me crazy in her mind.

Tumango ako at inayos ang sarili bago ako naupo muli. "Oo. Anong ginagawa mo rito? Has Mr. Sandoval's son already here?"

Umiling siya, nanatiling nakatayo sa harap ng table ko. "Hindi. Pinapatawag ka ni Mr. Almar. Magsisimula na raw ang awarding."

"Huh? Bakit daw?"

She shrugged. "Hindi ko alam."

"Hindi sana ako a-attend, eh."

"Mas mabuting um-attend ka. Kilala mo naman 'yon si Mr. Almar, 'di ba? Iba 'yon magalit."

Napatango ako sa sinabi niya. Kahit labag man sa loob, bumaba ako kasama si Shiela sa third floor, kaysa sa masermunan ni Mr. Almar. He was one of the shareholders in SEI. Hindi man ganoon kalaki, but he has the right to kick someone out of the company. Kahit pa wala pang basbas mula sa totoong may-ari.

Full pack ang buong function hall. Naroon lahat na employees ng SEI. Even some shareholders were there. Marami ring nagkalat na pabilog na table na may puting tela bilang mantle. Nakaayos din ang stage sa harap. Punung-puno iyon ng puti rin na mga bulaklak.

It wasn't the same last month. Hindi ito kabongga tulad noon. Anong meron?

Gusto ko mang magtanong nang makalapit kami ni Shiela sa isa sa mga table, hindi ko ginawa. I was with the people who were always badmouthing me behind my back.

"Bongga ang set ngayon ng awarding," si Murky. "Napaka-special yata ng event ngayon."

"Baka pormal din na ipakikilala kasi ang anak ni Mr. Sandoval," komento ni Mari. "We all know that Sandoval's family was private in their life. Tanging si Sir lang ang kilala natin."

"Kung ganoon, narito rin kaya 'yong asawa ni Sir?"

Napatingin ako kay Monica.

"Not for sure," si Mrs. Ambros ang sumagot. Nahuli niyang nakatingin ako sa kanya kaya pairap siyang nag-iwas. "Remember, nasa one-month vacation si Sir? For sure, he's with her."

Napakurap ako nang marinig na diniinan ni Mrs. Ambros ang salitang "one-month". What is her real problem?

I could feel it. May sama siya ng loob sa akin. Well, as if someone's here hasn't a grudge against me. Bulgar ang mga parinig nila sa akin at maging bulung-bulungan nila tungkol sa akin.

I sighed and let them. Aaminin kong masakit na galit sila sa akin nang hindi ko alam ang totoong dahilan. But I have no choice but to let them. Kaysa patulan, mas magiging masama ako sa paningin nila.

Minutes passed, and the awarding ceremony had formally started. Nagkaroon ng maliit na speech ang Vice President ng SEI na si Mrs. Saldovivar, bago nagsimulang magbigay ng awards.

Hindi tulad nang isang buwan, maraming awards ngayon. Halos nga lahat ay merong natanggap. I was relieved when Monica, Mari, Shiela, Mrs. Ambros, and especially Murky received their awards on stage.

Todo palakpak ako sa kanila. I hope they will feel better now. I mean, we all deserve to be awarded for our hard work. Sana naman ay mawala na ang sama ng loob nila sa akin.

But I was wrong.

They will hold a grudge against me even more.

My claps slowed and my bright smile faded as Mrs. Saldovivar announced the best employee of the month.

Feeling ko nabinggi ako at hindi narinig ang sinabi niya.

Niyugyog ang balikat ko ni Shiela. "Ikaw ang best employee of the month, Ysa."

No.

Hindi maaari.

"H-Ha?" wala sa sarili kong sambit.

Murky pushed me a bit. "Expected na namin 'yon. Umakyat ka na. Gora."

Napakurap ako. I could feel the sarcasm in his voice. They already expected it.

Napatingin ako kay Mrs. Ambros, inirapan niya ako at inilapag ang papel na award niya sa ibabaw ng mesa. Like it was a useless thing.

"Akyat na." Mari pushed me too.

Wala akong nagawa. Ayaw mang umakyat ay napaakyat na lang ako sa stage dahil sa panunulak nina Murky at Mari. Hindi pa nakatulong na bigla akong nanghina nang marinig ang pangalan ko na sinambit ni Mrs. Saldovivar.

"Let's give a round of applause to our dedicated best employee at the SEI," she said again. "Miss Maria Ysabella Lustred!"

Nasa stage na ako. Kitang-kita ang mga nalukot na mukha ng ibang empleyado na napipilitang pumalakpak para sa akin.

"S****p kasi..."

A tear escaped from my eyes as I remembered what Mari told them about me. Ngayong ako ang best employee of the month, mas lalong napatutunayan lang ang masamang iniisip nila sa akin.

S****p ako.

"And to award the plaque of the award," Mrs. Saldovivar announced, and everyone went silent. "The son of the owner of SEI, the future CEO of this company, Mr. Esmundo Sandoval's only heir... Mr. Diego Kiersen Sandoval."

Kung may mas ikakabigla pa ako, iyon ay ang paglakad ng lalaki paakyat ng stage. He was holding a plaque and a bouquet of flowers as he confidently trudged towards me.

That playful smile.

Those hooded brown eyes.

That perfect body was concealed by the black tux.

Hindi ko kinaya. Tuluyan akong nawalan ng lakas at hinimatay.