*Jane* “Hello? Have I seriously been having a conversation with myself this entire time?”With a small shake of my head, I bring myself back to the present. Rachel’s looking at me with a raised eyebrow and knowing smile, her hand outstretched palm side up like she’s waiting for something.“Sorry, what?” I ask, slightly embarrassed.My thoughts had been completely overtaken by memories of last night. I kept replaying how Noah spoke to me through it, how he held me, and how his body felt against mine. I’d completely lost track of where I was. Rachel was over at our Airbnb, getting ready with me for the big game today while the boys went off to the stadium. But I’d evidently been so distracted, that I hadn’t realized she’d been speaking to me the entire time. “Your eyeliner,” she says. “I asked if I could borrow it.”“Oh, yeah. Sure.” I hand it over, but the look on her face doesn’t change. “What?”“You know exactly what. I take it the date went well last night.
*Jane*I find my way back to the Airbnb by myself. I head straight for a shower, wanting to wash off the sweat and vibes of the afterparty from my skin. It was the first time I felt so … invisible. Usually, I could rely on Noah to always try and make me feel comfortable. But tonight just seemed like it was all about him. I get changed into my pajamas, then crash into bed with the book I haven’t finished reading yet. I pretend as though I’m taking anything in.“Baby?” Noah’s slurred voice calls out two hours later. I can hear as he barely manages to shut and lock the door behind him, and I’m surprised that he was able to find his way back here at all. I don’t move from my spot on the bed and I don’t even bother putting the book I’m reading down. I’m pissed. I’ll admit that. I know I wanted him to be able to enjoy his win with his teammates and fans and be able to focus on something other than his father but still… The fact that he was willing to let me walk out of
*Jane*When I wake up, I wake up alone. It puzzles me how short an amount of time it took for that loneliness to feel so unfamiliar. But then again, Noah and I have spent every single night together for the past month, so I guess it’s not that strange. New habits form quickly. But I still hate the emptiness of the bed, how cold it feels without another body laying next to me. I’m still meant to be pissed off though, so I shake all thoughts of Noah’s arms from my mind and head into the en suite shower. The sun is just barely piquing the horizon, but I can’t sleep anymore. As the hot water runs over my body, I think about how I’m going to go around facing him today. It’s bound to be uncomfortable. Plus, we’re stuck in the Airbnb together between games, so unless he’s decided to run off in the middle of the night half-drunk, I know that I’m going to have to face him sometime this morning. I put on one of the bathrobes hanging off the rack and stick my head out t
*Noah*I firmly believe that Jane Thomas is a good luck charm on top of being a curveball because the second game played after we made up is a clean sweep. Another day, another relationship-ending crisis averted. However, my behavior did force me to look at the way I let my father influence my life. I never want him to have that kind of power over me again and I definitely don’t want Jane to ever have to bear the brunt of that again, regardless of whether it was what I intended or not. But I’d just gotten so sick of hearing that kind of shit from him, from my coach, and so many other people who just saw me as a free ticket to whatever places my career could take me. And maybe a small part of me was terrified that Jane might be changing her mind about that too. It was just easier to ply myself with alcohol and pretend that I didn’t have to think about anything else. Jane getting pushed out of that was my fault. But it’s never happening again. My phone buzzes with an i
*Jane*This is it. The months of hard work and the struggles coming from the toll that took on Noah’s personal life are about to be tested to see whether they were worth it all.But I can tell how it weighs heavily on him. The game is tomorrow and he’s still lying awake at nearly midnight. I roll over and put my hand on his shoulder. “You’re still up?” I ask.He raises his head and turns back to look at me with a guilty smile on his face. “Yeah. Sorry, I thought you were sleeping already, babe. Didn’t mean to wake you.”“I’ve been up,” I tell him, adjusting myself and propping myself up on my elbow. He turns over completely so we’re facing each other. I can see the dark circles under his eyes and the weariness of his face. He’s tired but anxious. Reaching out, I caress his cheek with my knuckles. “It’s nothing you don’t know already, but you need to rest up, Noah.”“Yeah, I do know that,” he says. “So talk to me. Why can’t you?” He hesitates.
*Noah*One whole month has passed since we beat Ole Miss and I still can’t quite wrap my head around what that means. It’s been an absolute whirlwind since then, with things never really slowing, but Jane has been there for the whole ride. That’s what made the whole buildup so much easier and the celebration that much sweeter. Ever since the night I opened up to her, things have only gotten better. She’s the first person I’ve felt secure enough to be vulnerable to, and I trust her fully to guard that. It’s difficult to imagine a life before or after her, it feels like she’s always been here. And she’s the one who’s there when the invitation to the MLB draft comes in. “Noah, this is amazing,” she squeaks, jumping into my arms. I hold her tightly, enjoying the closeness. “It’s still up in the air,” I say shakily, but I can’t keep the smile off my face. “Nothing’s one hundred percent certain yet.”“You know where I stand on all of that.” She draws back to look at
*Jane*I knew that Noah was going to be picked. There was never a doubt in my mind, even if I could tell that he was beginning to question. But when the announcer called out his name, inviting him onto the stage, I couldn’t contain my happiness and excitement. I watched as Noah walked up, and received the Yankees hat. I watched as he shook hands with who I knew were very important people. I watched as he stood for photos and I’m watching now as he speaks to the press, all vying for information on this new rising star and his plans for the future. It fills me with such a feeling of pride and contentment, watching all of this. And I truly am so happy for him. But …There’s a small, nagging part of my brain that can’t help but ask the question … What now?What truly is next for Noah and me?If he joins the Yankees, that means he has to move. The whole long-distance thing is something I always thought would never work. But then again, I never planned on falling in l
*Jane*“Are you ready for your entire world to change?” I adjust the straps of the little floral ruched bust top I’m wearing and direct a pointed look at Rachel, not needing words to express my sarcasm. But despite my attitude, my fingers still toy with the frilly material, something I only do when I’m more than a little nervous. “What?” my friend asks defensively, not taking her eyes off the mirror as she adds the finishing touches to her makeup.“A little dramatic, don’t you think, Rach?” I move to sit on her bed, crossing my legs in an attempt to stave off the anxious foot-tapping. “It’s a party. We’re not exactly curing cancer or braving the frontlines.”Rachel rolls her eyes. Her eyeliner is perfect. “Please. This is when the rest of our lives really begin.”“I thought the rest of our lives started when we moved to campus and started classes.”She shakes her head, her dark curls bouncing on her shoulders. “Not at all. That was just the logistics of things, y
*Jane*I knew that Noah was going to be picked. There was never a doubt in my mind, even if I could tell that he was beginning to question. But when the announcer called out his name, inviting him onto the stage, I couldn’t contain my happiness and excitement. I watched as Noah walked up, and received the Yankees hat. I watched as he shook hands with who I knew were very important people. I watched as he stood for photos and I’m watching now as he speaks to the press, all vying for information on this new rising star and his plans for the future. It fills me with such a feeling of pride and contentment, watching all of this. And I truly am so happy for him. But …There’s a small, nagging part of my brain that can’t help but ask the question … What now?What truly is next for Noah and me?If he joins the Yankees, that means he has to move. The whole long-distance thing is something I always thought would never work. But then again, I never planned on falling in l
*Noah*One whole month has passed since we beat Ole Miss and I still can’t quite wrap my head around what that means. It’s been an absolute whirlwind since then, with things never really slowing, but Jane has been there for the whole ride. That’s what made the whole buildup so much easier and the celebration that much sweeter. Ever since the night I opened up to her, things have only gotten better. She’s the first person I’ve felt secure enough to be vulnerable to, and I trust her fully to guard that. It’s difficult to imagine a life before or after her, it feels like she’s always been here. And she’s the one who’s there when the invitation to the MLB draft comes in. “Noah, this is amazing,” she squeaks, jumping into my arms. I hold her tightly, enjoying the closeness. “It’s still up in the air,” I say shakily, but I can’t keep the smile off my face. “Nothing’s one hundred percent certain yet.”“You know where I stand on all of that.” She draws back to look at
*Jane*This is it. The months of hard work and the struggles coming from the toll that took on Noah’s personal life are about to be tested to see whether they were worth it all.But I can tell how it weighs heavily on him. The game is tomorrow and he’s still lying awake at nearly midnight. I roll over and put my hand on his shoulder. “You’re still up?” I ask.He raises his head and turns back to look at me with a guilty smile on his face. “Yeah. Sorry, I thought you were sleeping already, babe. Didn’t mean to wake you.”“I’ve been up,” I tell him, adjusting myself and propping myself up on my elbow. He turns over completely so we’re facing each other. I can see the dark circles under his eyes and the weariness of his face. He’s tired but anxious. Reaching out, I caress his cheek with my knuckles. “It’s nothing you don’t know already, but you need to rest up, Noah.”“Yeah, I do know that,” he says. “So talk to me. Why can’t you?” He hesitates.
*Noah*I firmly believe that Jane Thomas is a good luck charm on top of being a curveball because the second game played after we made up is a clean sweep. Another day, another relationship-ending crisis averted. However, my behavior did force me to look at the way I let my father influence my life. I never want him to have that kind of power over me again and I definitely don’t want Jane to ever have to bear the brunt of that again, regardless of whether it was what I intended or not. But I’d just gotten so sick of hearing that kind of shit from him, from my coach, and so many other people who just saw me as a free ticket to whatever places my career could take me. And maybe a small part of me was terrified that Jane might be changing her mind about that too. It was just easier to ply myself with alcohol and pretend that I didn’t have to think about anything else. Jane getting pushed out of that was my fault. But it’s never happening again. My phone buzzes with an i
*Jane*When I wake up, I wake up alone. It puzzles me how short an amount of time it took for that loneliness to feel so unfamiliar. But then again, Noah and I have spent every single night together for the past month, so I guess it’s not that strange. New habits form quickly. But I still hate the emptiness of the bed, how cold it feels without another body laying next to me. I’m still meant to be pissed off though, so I shake all thoughts of Noah’s arms from my mind and head into the en suite shower. The sun is just barely piquing the horizon, but I can’t sleep anymore. As the hot water runs over my body, I think about how I’m going to go around facing him today. It’s bound to be uncomfortable. Plus, we’re stuck in the Airbnb together between games, so unless he’s decided to run off in the middle of the night half-drunk, I know that I’m going to have to face him sometime this morning. I put on one of the bathrobes hanging off the rack and stick my head out t
*Jane*I find my way back to the Airbnb by myself. I head straight for a shower, wanting to wash off the sweat and vibes of the afterparty from my skin. It was the first time I felt so … invisible. Usually, I could rely on Noah to always try and make me feel comfortable. But tonight just seemed like it was all about him. I get changed into my pajamas, then crash into bed with the book I haven’t finished reading yet. I pretend as though I’m taking anything in.“Baby?” Noah’s slurred voice calls out two hours later. I can hear as he barely manages to shut and lock the door behind him, and I’m surprised that he was able to find his way back here at all. I don’t move from my spot on the bed and I don’t even bother putting the book I’m reading down. I’m pissed. I’ll admit that. I know I wanted him to be able to enjoy his win with his teammates and fans and be able to focus on something other than his father but still… The fact that he was willing to let me walk out of
*Jane* “Hello? Have I seriously been having a conversation with myself this entire time?”With a small shake of my head, I bring myself back to the present. Rachel’s looking at me with a raised eyebrow and knowing smile, her hand outstretched palm side up like she’s waiting for something.“Sorry, what?” I ask, slightly embarrassed.My thoughts had been completely overtaken by memories of last night. I kept replaying how Noah spoke to me through it, how he held me, and how his body felt against mine. I’d completely lost track of where I was. Rachel was over at our Airbnb, getting ready with me for the big game today while the boys went off to the stadium. But I’d evidently been so distracted, that I hadn’t realized she’d been speaking to me the entire time. “Your eyeliner,” she says. “I asked if I could borrow it.”“Oh, yeah. Sure.” I hand it over, but the look on her face doesn’t change. “What?”“You know exactly what. I take it the date went well last night.
*Jane*I’m reading a book on the couch when Noah walks in from practice, his hair still wet from his shower. He looks so excited to see me, even more than he usually does, and I immediately put the book down. We’re currently staying in the Airbnb that he’s booked for the entire week we’re spending in Omaha. It’s beautiful, complete with a pool and full catering that I’m eternally grateful for because we don’t exactly have much time to go around searching for decent food stops. I get up to greet him, beaming, and he takes me into his arms and sweeps me into a kiss that curls my toes. He pulls back, a sweet boyish grin on his face. “I have a surprise for you,” he says like he can barely contain it anymore. I quirk up an eyebrow. “And how exactly would you have had time to put together a surprise?”“I have my ways,” he replies cockily, running his hands down my arms and taking my hands in his. He leads me upstairs, telling me to follow him. There was one section
*Noah*“And that does it folks, the Billmore Bulldogs are headed to their first College World Series!”The announcer’s words ring in my head over and over, swirling around like water down a drain as I replay the broadcast. It doesn’t feel real. None of this feels real. I made it. I actually made it. This is by far the biggest step of my career so far, and I can’t seem to wipe the smile off my face when I think about it—which is almost all the time. It’s a funny thing, reaching a huge milestone that up until this point has always just felt like a pipe dream. Something big enough to crush your spirit when you are pulled further away from it, but still too far ahead to really bank anything on without some degree of delusional faith. And now here it is, the opportunity to catapult myself onto a proper stage. But the resting thought side by side with what feels like the culmination of all the hard work I’ve done throughout my life so far is Jane. Jane Thomas.